Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Naruto. . . . . . .and Kakashi. . .maybe.

Kakashi: Rose! Now that's just insulting.

Rose: You're the anime character giving me a bad time.

Kakashi: . . .

Chapter Fourteen: Ino Wakes Up

He entered the clearing and found Naruto sitting with his knees drawn up beside the stream. The teen had his chin resting on his knees while his arms were wrapped his lower legs holding his knees in position for his chin. Kakashi walked over and fell to his knees behind him, wrapping his arms around the blond, as his legs fell open, one to each side of Naruto. He pulled the blond back to where he was resting against his chest. They sat there in silence for a few minutes until Shikamaru spoke up from behind them.

"So this is how you got away from the all seeing eyes. I wondered. Naruto, why does everything about you have to involve so much trouble?" He walked over and sat down near them.

Alarm entered both the bodies of the ninja he had come here to confront. He sighed. "Clouds have life so easy," he muttered. "Don't worry. I don't consider your private life anyone else's business and if you two do like each other, so be it." He laid back in the grass and listened to the bubbling stream as he watched the clouds drift overhead. "But Naruto, just cause Ino is stupid, please don't think all the rookies are. Nor do we want you to think we like what they are doing to you now. As for why I trailed Kakashi, well that was only to make sure you know, out of the rookies, only Sakura shares Ino's obsession with what you do intimately and with whom. But even she doesn't share Ino's view that you have no right to like your Sensei."

"Yeah," said Naruto quietly. "We know how far her perversion goes and why."

"Well, I wish you'd just tell them all to go fuck off and leave you alone. Sheesh. They all act like you aren't human like they are."

Naruto turned his eyes to Shikamaru and said, "You know I can't do that. Over half the village would riot if I ever so much as raised my voice let alone told them off for how they act. The other half would be hurt that I didn't appreciate their attentions."

"Yeah but how is it any of their business how often you need to take a piss or how often and in what manner you have sex?"

"Well, I'll grant you that is over the top but tell me Shika, since I am not supposed to know about the cameras in my apartment, just how am I supposed to tell them to quit spying on me in the bathroom?"

"They have a camera in your bathroom?" asked Kakashi shocked.

"Two of them last time I checked. One is in the light fixture and the other is in the piping of the shower head. That one is water proof so it won't short out when I take a shower."

"Sheesh. No way could I live like you do Naruto," said Shikamaru. "They don't give you any privacy at all."

"They don't think I need any but even if I said I wanted some they would only think it was so that I could somehow do something demon related."

Kakashi tightened his arms and growled, "That's not what they're looking for now, Naruto and you know it."

Naruto sighed and nodded. Shikamaru said, "Well, spying on you in the bathroom is going too far and I think you should tell those watchers you had when you were little. They would think that was over the top also and I know damn good and well you're not gonna do anything demon related period but definitely not in your own shower, for Pete's sake." He was quiet for a few minutes and watching Naruto's expression which didn't change as the teen just curled more tightly into the arms holding him. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "Either you tell that old woman from the council, about that damn camera or I will. That's ridiculous and you know it."

"Just get Ino off my case, Shika. I know you are the only one she'll really listen to especially since Sakura now knows she has taken a position in the betting pool. Sakura will tell her the full truth of the reasoning behind the betting and Ino will never give it up once she learns the full story. As gossip, it's too juicy for her to not revel in it."

"I'll handle her, even if I have to take pictures and post them around town the next time she goes trolling. If it takes making her own behavior a public display and the subject of a few bets, I will do it. You're my friend and comrade. I respect you as a ninja and a friend and I don't appreciate seeing my friends hurt like this." He stood up and just before he cleared the area added over his shoulder, "Don't worry about me telling anyone about this spot or what I saw here. It's no one's business but your own." He left the two ninja sitting there and went to find Chouji.

He found him at his parents bar-b-que restaurant. Chouji wasn't eating, which in itself was a sign he was troubled by something and when Shikamaru nodded his head, indicating he wished to speak to him, got up from the table without grabbing any of the meat off his plate. That meant he was really bothered by whatever he was thinking about. Together the two walked to their own private place. Before they could begin talking though, Ino came running up to them with her eyes shining and a flush staining her pale cheeks.

"Here you two are. I need to talk to you both. This time, Naruto has gone too far. It was bad enough finding out he is unnatural and had set his sights on perverting Kakashi-sempai as well. But now he plans to use that perverted technique of his in order to have Kakashi-sempai's kid as well and trap him into staying with him. I need you to figure out how to stop him, Shikamaru, and don't give me any crap about it either. Sakura already tried to tell me Naruto doesn't even know about the transformation thing but that's impossible. Since it's his technique of course he has to know if it's gonna be used."

Shikamaru interrupted her to sneeringly ask her just what in the nine levels of hell made her think Naruto would ever wish to bring a child into this world but especially into this village that went so far as to spy on him in his own shower for Kami's sake.

Ino stood there gaping like a fish. Finally she sputtered, "They watch him when he's showering?"

"Aye, they do. He found the camera last week he says. Who knows how long it's been there or who is watching it or even how long he really has known about it but that's an invasion of his privacy on the highest order. They couldn't be any more invasive if they ordered a daily strip search with a cavity search as well." His tone showed how disgusted he was with his village.

Ino lost the strength in her legs as she collapsed onto the grass. Shakily she asked, "Who would spy on him in the shower? Why? That doesn't make any sense."

"Because he's Naruto. Come on, Ino. Don't be any stupider than you have to be. They have always spied on him. He's Naruto. He holds a demon at bay keeping the entire world safe from it's ravishes. Even you don't think he should mind his surveillance as you clearly stated at the picnic which you ruined for us with your rant, by the way. As for who would plant a camera in his shower, well the village is full of perverts. Take your pick but you might start with Sakura's master."

"Hokage-sama would not stoop that low. She thinks of Naruto as her little brother. But I will grant her old teammate would. Candid shots of what Naruto had to offer for anyone as unnatural as he is would definitely build an audience for his next trashy book. Of course, they could also serve to show Naruto how wrong it is to be lusting after someone of Kakashi-sempai's stature if any of the people who go for that kind of relationship see them. He is hot after all and I assume unnatural guys would find the same attributes hot as normal people do. I accept that Naruto doesn't know any better but that's Hinata's fault for not stepping up and simply taking him in hand like she should have."

"First off, if Naruto were a girl I do not believe I would have heard you say that just now. How is him getting molested or raped a good way to change his orientation? And saying he should suffer such a thing just because someone started a betting pool on speculation which you have no proof either way on is just royally crude and mean spirited. Second, given how watched he is by the higher ups in this village, I don't find his aversion to being with a girl all that unnatural. Third, as Kakashi-sempai is the only person, outside of Iruka-sensei, who seems to have accepted that Naruto is a person in his own right and not just a container against his will, I do not find it to be that odd that he would attach an attraction to the man. Fourth, I happen to know for a fact that Kakashi thinks Naruto is not only as human as you are but he thinks Naruto is worth knowing and treating with respect and that alone is more than enough reason for Naruto to have an interest in Kakashi from Naruto's point of view. Fifth, you speak as if Naruto really isn't gay but you have no proof that he isn't. I know if I'd had to live his life, I certainly would be. Sixth, you demean Kakashi by saying he would fall for whatever trap Naruto might lay for him. And as if Naruto being attracted to him could cause Kakashi to become gay against his will. Seventh, you are assuming, that if Kakashi is gay, that he does not find Naruto hot, as you put it. You assume he would have some kind of a problem in being with Naruto in that way. Eighth, you demean every single person, who has taken a stance in that stupid betting pool, who thinks, for whatever reason, they will get together. Some of those people might actually have more information about them than you do but again, you assume your meager opinion is the only information there is, regarding them, worth having. And that is just stupid, since I know for a fact that neither of them would consider telling you anything about their true preferences." He sighed and tiredly continued on, "There are a lot of gay people in the world, Ino. They are not sick or perverted any more than straight people are. Nor are they unnatural or perverted. They are human and a lot of them are really hoping the two of them do get together because they believe both of them deserve to be happy for a change. Now get out of here before I forget I like you as a teammate."

Ino just sat there blinking as she took in everything Shikamaru had just said. She had never heard him tell anyone off like he just had her. Most of the time he just claimed things were too troublesome and walked away from it not wanting to explain his own point of view. "Shika," she asked beginning to come out of her self-absorption enough to think about things from another's point of view, "do you really think Sempai is gay? That he actually does like Naruto-baka?"

"Troublesome, I know he does. That's why Sensei trails him when he goes to the bars. He almost killed someone because they implied they wanted to rape Naruto. And quit calling Naruto a baka. He isn't nearly as stupid as you think he is. He knows damn good and well what would happen if he got a boyfriend or worse a girlfriend in this place." And you have no idea how close you were to death for insulting Kakashi's choice this afternoon either. Naruto had to either speak or act. Luckily he chose speaking instead of action. Shikamaru had been right next to Naruto as Ino had said her little spiel about how Naruto was guilty of perversion and trying to entice someone else she found respectable down to his level. He had wanted to recoil from the anger and rage roiling off his friend but he held his ground, ready to hold him back to give Ino a chance to run if she needed to.

Ino, blithely unaware of his thoughts, continued on. "What do you mean? Nothing would happen. Well, he might get pulled aside and told how he should behave but that's cause he has no manners. No one has taught him how to behave on a date so someone might pull him aside to teach him."

Chouji started chuckling. "Shika wasn't talking about Hokage-sama telling him how to dress and what to do or not do on his date. He was talking about the villagers reaction to him dating anyone. The villagers would turn all their rage onto whoever he was with because they're too afraid to turn it on Naruto. Ever since it got out that Naruto beat Gaara in his demon mode the common villager is terrified of Naruto. They're afraid of him because he beat Gaara, beat Neji, and almost beat Sasuke. But if he were to begin dating someone, all that rage would have a new target and they would hurt him through hurting the person he was with. Half the people speaking to him these days are people trying to get close to him just so they can say they raped the Kyuubi and that's all they want. Male or female, Ino, those people only want to hurt him. Naruto knows it so he stays clear of any entanglements."

"Kakashi is the only person Naruto can be with, Ino," Shikamaru said tiredly. "He's the only person with a strong enough reputation to keep the villagers off his case without having to defend himself day and night against them. But as for the use of the transformation technique to get a child off Kakashi, there is no way in hell Naruto would ever plot to do that. He would not willingly give the angry sheep someone else to attack in the allies. And we have all been there often enough to know what those drunks would do if he had a child for them to target."

Ino was quietly absorbing everything the two told her. She relied on them both for this very reason. She knew herself well enough to know she really wasn't all that smart and that she tended to jump to conclusions too quickly but Shikamaru and Chouji could usually straighten things out for her. Now she said, "I know you think I made a bet of my own but I didn't. I found the idea so repulsive I couldn't. I could see how people might think that of Naruto since he's never been seen with a girl and doesn't even notice Hinata-chan's crush on him but that people were also implying it of Kakashi-sempai was disgusting." She couldn't hide her small shudder of her ideal willingly lying with another man. "I just can't believe he would choose a guy over a girl with all the right parts to satisfy his needs."

Shikamaru turned a lazy eye towards her. "Get over him, Ino. He's gay and always has been. He will never choose to willingly lay with you or any other girl. Naruto is the one with the right parts to satisfy him and the right look to get him to stay with him. He also has the right kind of heart for Kakashi. He does love Naruto and what's more he wants to be with him sexually. That's what started all this crap in the first place. Kakashi wanted Naruto but wouldn't do anything about it. Tsunade got tired of waiting and decided to meddle where she has no business and now they can't be together without every detail being front page news."

"But he can't be gay," Ino cried. "I like him and I would never like a guy who wouldn't ever notice me."

"Troublesome," muttered Shikamaru.

"Why is that Ino? You never notice the guys who do notice you. So why isn't it equally possible that you would like a guy who'd never see you as well?" asked Chouji, wishing to make her see that she was just as blind to him as Kakashi was to her. It was out of character for him but he was tired of her always over looking him. He'd loved her since they were children faults and all and he knew every little fault she had. To him she was the most beautiful flower in her parents shop and never would there be any more beautiful or precious than she was.

Ino was at a loss as to how to answer that. She knew there were guys who did notice her beauty. She had been on more than a few dates and gone through more than a couple of boyfriends as well before setting her sights on Kakashi. He was older and she figured he would know how to indulge her without giving her everything she professed to desire. That was the main reason she was attracted to him though she had to admit he was sexy as hell as well and she thought they would look good enough to be movie stars if they were seen together. She knew she was vain about how beautiful she was but his silver complimented her gold as perfectly as his grey eye matched and offset her pale blue eyes. His height was a perfect foil to her shortness and they were both naturally slender and willowy, meaning their children would be also. Over all, she felt the children she could give him would be so beautiful everyone in the village would be spoiling them. But he never even looked twice in her direction and if what Shika had said was true he never would. It never occurred to her that Kakashi looks were a perfect foil for Naruto's also. In fact, that they set each other off better than she and he did since Naruto's coloring was more vibrant and alive looking than her own. She was a pale winter's sun to his bright happy summer sun. And Kakashi was definitely a full summer moon.

"You're sure, Shika?" she asked finally deciding to just shelve Chouji's question as unanswerable at the moment.

"Hai. I'm not saying Naruto likes him but I do know Kakashi is head over heels for Naruto. Trust me, Ino, as pretty as you are, you do not have the right equipment to attract his eye."

She sighed as her shoulders drooped. "Then maybe we need to help him get Naruto."