Chapter 4 ~ Family Dynamics

Severus was the one who broke the kiss. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back softly.

"Moira…what is this? What are we going to do about this?" he said, suddenly very serious. He was scaring himself, to be honest. Ever since Lily…he'd been in total control of himself. He'd been so cold…so calculating, always in control. And now he had this little girl, who was practically still wet behind the ears, making him soft. How could he continue his day-to-day with a soft heart? What if…what if his Lord…took her away? Kept her as collateral? Could he do that to her? He noticed her staring at him.

"I don't know what we're going to do. And I know…I know you're afraid of Voldemort. I understand what I'm getting in to."

"How do you now I'm…I'm affiliated with him?" Severus grabbed her shoulders. She looked away.

"It's all over the school. But I went to the Headmaster. I wanted to know the truth. And he…he set me straight, but only because I know Sirius's daughter. I'm spending the summer with her this year. At…at the Headquarters. I used that as leverage. I'm a very good…negotiator." She took a step closer to him, and she reached up, fixing the lapels on his robe.

Severus put his hands over hers, covering them completely due to the size difference. "The Dark Lord will find out about this…he'll try to hurt you." He said gravely. "I don't you to be subject to that."

She kept her hands underneath his, smiling sincerely. "The way things are going, we'll all be subject to it in the near future. I'd rather get tortured for you then tortured for being a Mudblood."

Severus had no reply. She was right about everyone eventually being subject to the Dark Lord's wrath. But to be honest, she was baffling him. He had silently taken back what he'd said earlier that day, about her having a lot of growing up to do. It was almost scary…how adult she acted. He stared deep in her eyes.

"Moira…what makes you so mature? You're like a woman trapped in a young girl's body. Some of my colleagues don't speak as established as you do. There must be a reason?" he asked seriously.

Her eyes glazed over suddenly, her gaze fixed at some point on the wall behind Severus. She pulled away, and walked over to the couch. She didn't sit, but stood, almost looking defeated.

"I was forced to grow up quickly. Family dynamics, you could say. Since we're baring all, I'll tell you the story, but you might look at me a bit differently. See me in a new light, a dimmer light." She turned to face him, her hands clasped in front on her. "Have you noticed that I never go home over holidays? I stay here, for Christmas, Easter, and any other breaks we have. During the summer, I stay in Little Whinging with Matilda Black. I haven't been home since before my First Year. I had what you would call a broken home. My father left when I was four, but not before he locked me in our linen closet and beat my mother black and blue. She changed after that. She started bringing men home. That's when the…abuse started. Around my ninth birthday, they didn't seem to be satisfied enough with my mother. So, they'd wait until she fell asleep, and sneak into my room. I still remember the first time. His name was Andrew. He covered my mouth with his hand, so I wouldn't scream and wake my mother. He had hazel eyes. Ugly, horrible hazel eyes. There were twelve more men after that. Twelve more until the First of September, two days after my eleventh birthday."

Severus was rooted to the floor. His mind was blank. All he could manage was. "Why didn't you tell her? Why didn't you tell your mother?"

She smiled cheerlessly. "I did. She never believed me. To this day, she doesn't believe me. I had to run away on the First of September that year. I packed my bags and I ran. I found my way to the station, and on that first train ride, I felt the weight of the world disappear from my shoulders. That was the year I met you. The first man I'd ever seen with hematite eyes. Eyes as black as midnight upon the water."

She walked over to him, laying her head on his chest. He thoughtlessly wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

"You were broken, like me." She continued. "I could tell. I have a way of understanding people. I read in a book once that people who've known the weight of the world can feel things other can't. It's true. I can read people. Not their thoughts, but their feelings. I'm hyper sensitively empathetic. And you where broken, you were dark; you had walls around you to keep you safe, just like me. From then until now, our walls have become one. We could block out the rest of the world, or we could let them in, now, because we've found each other."

All that could've been said was spoken. Severus did nothing but hold her. He did nothing but let himself fall. Let himself be weak in front of this girl…no…this young woman. He couldn't decipher these feelings that were coursing through him All he could do was look down at her and say,

"I'll never hurt you like they did."