Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto... ... ...nor Kakashi though I'm beginning to think that's a good thing.
Kakashi: Rose!
Rose: Nani?
Kakashi: you're mean. . .
Rose:(fixes a steely eye on Kakashi) I wasn't the one reading Icha Icha to my 9 yr old yesterday as his birthday present.
Kakashi: Well I thought it was a good present.. .. ..(pouts)
Rose: Naruto pouts better. Get him to show you how it's done. Anyway folks, while I take care of making Kakashi's life hell for corrupting my innocent baby you guys read and review please. (glares after Kakashi mumbling You're about to find out just why my nickname growing up was Witch Hazel)
Chapter Twenty-Two: Grilled Parents Anybody?
Together they went back into the den where the elders and their children were gathered. All the council people were together on one side of the room while the angry rookies were on the other side. More than one of the adults was sweating nervously. Kakashi went to the sliding wall and pulled out the bag of recording devices and motioned for Shikamaru to step forward. The Sensei of the rookies stood behind their kids while Anko and Iruka were positioned behind both Kakashi and Naruto.
"Your plan, Shika. You have the floor," said Kakashi.
"A few days or really about a week ago Ino brought the disgusting behavior of this village to our attention. She told us of the betting taking place in regards to the sex life of one of our comrades and his Sensei. That you all know of it, I have no doubts but the lengths you went to in order to prove the relationship is absolutely disgusting. Otousan, you disappoint me. I respected you. I believed you would never stoop so far as to approve the placement of spy devices all over a comrades home. We all know Naruto shall never be totally free. He doesn't expect to ever be as free as everyone else is but this," He turned the bag upside down and the devices, still intact, spilled out onto the table and overflowed it to bounce around on the floor. "goes over the top of what was necessary. This is a level of spying we don't even do to our enemies and while you're thinking of excuses, why don't you think of one for what you expected to see from the toilet bowl or the shower piping. Then you can tell me just how it is any of your business who he is having sex with let alone how involved the sex is."
"Don't forget those infrared ones we found on his bed . . . AT WAIST LEVEL and AIMED at his groin," said an angry Hinata, stutter completely forgotten as anger overtook it.
"We could all see, Kaasan, if it was Jiraiya the Toad Sennin who was guilty of this or if we'd only found devices guaranteed to give him good porno shots. But that isn't what we found," said Kiba his own disgust clear as was Akamaru's in the way he whined and pawed the floor.
"Anyone else would likely still not know they were under this level of observation," said Lee.
"Our bugs would tell us, Otousan, but Naruto's nose and ears tell him. He can literally smell the grease used in the motors and hear the motors running in the little things but he's not free to remove them no matter when or where he finds them. How could you approve invading his privacy this way?" asked Shino.
"You would kill anyone who did this to Hinata-sama, Uncle. Yet you see no problem doing it to Naruto who you profess is a village Hero and perhaps the single most important person the village has ever seen or known. So how do you explain this?" asked Neji.
"Some of those devices are picture taking," said Ino. "Who gave you the right to turn our comrade into a porno star for the Hokage's amusement? How many pictures are out there that can be used against him," demanded Ino. "What if just one of those dirty pictures from one of those infrared cameras winds up in an enemies hands, Otousan? What if I am on his team when we run across that person? What happens then when they hold that picture over his head to kill me? Or worse, rape me?"
"Is ruining our hero's reputation all you can think of?" asked Tenten.
"I know you have had time to think about this and come up with a good reason, Otousan, but I have to say it had better be irrefutable if you want me to believe you and trust in you again. We Akamichi know what it is to be singled out and picked on but this goes above and beyond anything any Akamichi has ever suffered through. This is worse that the attacks in alleyways by drunks seeking to end his life. This is far worse than allied Ninja showing their contempt for him by under estimating his intelligence because he does not protest the restrictions you place on him. This is an invasion of the lowest degree. He had absolutely no privacy from these devices and some of them were double and triple layered to make sure the image or sound the planter wanted was caught."
Iruka took over. "And that isn't all. The night the kids found all of these Gai and I went to Naruto's under disguise. While we were packing his things to move out of that dump we ran across more of these. We crushed them but the fact is someone had already recognized they were gone and come in to replace them. It had only been three hours between when the kids left and Gai and I arrived at the apartment. That tells us they are closely monitored. So let's hear why the size and frequency of his bowel waste is so important you need a video feed of it."
All the elders were stone silent. None of them knew what to say. Finally Koharu pointed a shaky finger at the devices. "All of these were in his apartment?" she asked.
Shikamaru nodded. "and every single one of them was in working order as well."
Inoichi did his mind transfer technique on Ino and found she was the one who had found the infrared aimed at Naruto's groin. He snapped back into his own body when Ino threw him out of her mind.
"Find what you were looking for, Otousan?" she sneered. "If you have something to say, say it to all of us or do you really disrespect us that much?"
"I just wanted to see if this was a prank," he said. All the councillors looked at him, most begging him to tell them Ino at least was pranking them. "It isn't. She found one of the porno cameras herself and her disgust is true."
"Oh this whole thing goes wayyyyy beyond the cameras, Councilmen and ladies. Our beloved Hokage has still shots she plans to blackmail them with and I am very sure that a few of them come from those lovely little snakes laying so innocently there," said Ino.
"Blackmail? Them. How? Of what?" asked Koharu.
Kakashi sighed. He hid a gulp and explained. "She set us up at an inn where she knew the guy liked to lace his customers food with aphrodisiacs so they would have sex for his cameras. Naruto ordered ramen. I couldn't see letting Naruto suffer after he went to great lengths to make sure I didn't. I have to admit we had both thought Kyuubi would purge it from his system but apparently she only does that if the drug puts his life or senses in danger. The owner drugged the ramen and we all know Naruto can not pass on ramen. He got a triple dose of it. She has pictures of what occurred afterwards." His voice was even but to anyone who knew him he was anything but calm. Hiashi could see Kakashi was ready to dive into the floor in embarrassment.
"Do you have proof of this?" he asked.
"I do," Kakashi nodded.
"We're working on getting Sakura to destroy them for us but she thinks it's great. As far as she's concerned, they should have done this sooner and then Hokage-sama wouldn't have needed to get involved. She also says there is more to the plot then just getting lucky on a bet or wanting her own porn pics," said Ino, disgust once more dripping like acid from her tongue.
Iruka sighed. "I learned she plans to blackmail them into getting Naruto to use his henge to have a child for the village. That would be fine if he and Kakashi wished to bring a child into the world and she weren't attempting to blackmail them into it. But they don't and they have damn good reason not to want to bring a child of their own into the world seeing as how the villagers still try to hurt Naruto every chance they get when they are drunk enough to forget how strong he is."
"Those pictures will get her what she wants because I will not allow Kakashi's reputation to go down the drain for her amusement but as soon as the child is born someone better buy it a coffin because the villagers will kill it before it ever leaves it's infancy behind. And even if you do a better job protecting it than you did me, you are forgetting Danzo and how far he is willing to go to get control over the Kyuubi weapon. He will use that child as leverage to force both myself and Kakashi into working for him. Even then he is still likely to grab the kid and turn it into one of his mindless little soldiers. But this is what you want me to breed for isn't it Koharu-Obaasan? Because you want to see another miniature blond ball of happiness and good cheer running around making everyone smile over how stupid he is. However, there is no guarantee my child will have my personality or my ability to wear a mask as well as I do and you know it. This child could turn out to be every bit as serious and morose as Kakashi was when he was younger. As Sasuke was and if the crap that I believe will happen, that my friends believe happens, can you say you will blame the child for not being happy like you want it to be?"
Now all the adults sat down, unable to continue standing. They had never really thought Naruto might have good reasons for not wanting a child. But hearing from him how he knew the only reason he was alive was because the villagers took joy in thinking him too stupid to know he shouldn't be happy at all gave them all a new perspective on the situation. None of them had really even thought about things from his point of view. Kakashi took over the conversation.
"I will fight tooth and nail to keep Naruto from giving in to her blackmail but so long as she has it we are both vulnerable. The first time she gets drunk and loses at the tables, those pictures could erase her debt for her or be used as a stake at the next table. I am not being vain. But I do know my own reputation and I have a very good idea of exactly what she has. If she does that, there is no telling who will get a hold of them or what they will try to make us act against the village. If Danzo gets them, I shudder to think how he will use them though I am very sure he will try something. And if they were to wind up in the hands of the Akatsuki, the picture is even bleaker. Danzo at least is Leaf."
Shikamaru took over. "I gave this situation a lot of thought. The conclusion I came to is, either way Naruto and Kakashi's life and usefulness to the village as ninja ends as soon as they either are confronted with the full body of her blackmail over them or they give in and Naruto births a child for the village. I understand a child of the Hatake blood mingled with the blood of the Namikaze is a strong draw but the villagers will never believe that child to be anything more than demon spawned since they are smart enough to know only a male and female joining can produce a child and both Kakashi and Naruto are male."
"But everyone knows about his sexy technique," protested Homura.
"Yes they do but the villagers aren't ninja. They have never learned to use their chakra as we do. They may know what a henge is but that doesn't mean they know how it works. And Naruto's henge is a lot different than anyone else's. They don't know how complete a change it is or how much chakra it takes or anything. All they do know is, it ticks off the women and gives perverts a massive nosebleed," confirmed Shikamaru. "Even Sakura doesn't know how Naruto's henge differs from the normal henge and she's his teammate."
"One of these days, Son, you're gonna wake up and discover there really is something nice about the female body."
"You sure about that?" Shikamaru asked with an arched brow. He knew he was insinuating that he didn't like girls at all but he really was angry with his father and he had noticed none of the councillors had either owned up to their spying on Naruto or apologized for invading his privacy to the degree that they had. "Now what we want to know is why Naruto's sex life is so damn important to you all that you felt it was ok to not only make a public spectacle of him but of Kakashi-Sensei as well. We can see you got overcome with wishing Naruto to change his mind on the child, even though I personally think he is correct not to do it. We can also see how maybe you're more than a touch out of step with the common people, being isolated above them and all. But that does not excuse this." He pointed to the pile of devices. "Or allowing our Hokage, whom you know full well is a drunkard that likes to gamble, hard photos with which to blackmail them. Just what the 'ell were you thinking Otousan and if you tell me you were sleeping Kaasan's frying pan won't be the only thing you need to worry about." Shikato paled. He was smart but he knew full well Shikamaru's intelligence outstripped his by a mile and kept on going. Now way would he be able to convince his son he didn't know of the Hokage's machnizations in this fiasco.
Shikamaru stepped back, to stand next to Hinata, whom he had been seeing for about three months now, waiting to see what they would say for themselves. Kakashi stepped behind Naruto and was now propped against the wall as he pulled the blond back against his chest. With his chin on the bright hair, he tried to conceal how upset he really was over this invasion as they waited for an answer. Chouji stood next to Ino, ready to protect her should her Dad, or anyone else, try anything else against her. Kiba, Akamaru, Shino and Lee stood slightly in front of their coupled friends as a barrier to protect them from any attack. Neji was standing close to Hinata but he kept Tenten close to his other side as well.
None of their parents missed the pairings though Shikato was wondering if his son was next to the Hyuuga Heiress because he was the least objectionable as a safe person being gay or if there was another reason entirely. Koharu was still trying to wrap her mind around the whole thing. Homura was in shock. He heard every word but his mind had shut down not wanting to understand how badly he had let Naruto down. Hiashi was trying to figure out how he had not seen this coming. Of course, Tsunade could not be allowed to blackmail Naruto into anything and of course, she could not be allowed to keep control of those pictures. But now that she had them, how were they to get them away from her without taking the risk of them falling into someone else's equally corrupt hands? The original Ino Shika Cho group were more concerned about possible future abuses of power and spying against the citizens who laid their lives on the line for the village every single time they walked out the gates of the village. Shibi and Tsume were both trying to find a way to convince the kids and the gathering of jounin that they had never approved any of this in the first place.
It was Tsume who finally growled out a response. "Naruto, I apologize. I should have known of this." She spread a hand towards the table. "I did not but that is not an excuse, since I did know of her plan to force the two of you together and for what purpose she was doing it. I do know the pictures are not the end of the blackmail though I do not know exactly what else she is planning. She does plan to get a child from both of you one way or the other." She could literally smell the fear that rolled off both the guys at her words. It was so thick she could practically taste it. So there was more to the story than they had admitted, she deduced. Not surprising really. She knew in their place she wouldn't have admitted to everything either.
"However," said Shibi. "It does seem like you have both clearly thought about the situation and looked at it more fully than any of us ever did. At the very least, logic should have told us Danzo would love to see you vulnerable through a pregnancy and through the resulting existence of the child when it is finally born. You are correct as to how he would seek to use that child to control you."
"Then tell me, Councillor Aburame," said Naruto showing him a great deal more respect than he was known for while not moving from the safety and security offered by his lovers arms. "Why is he, not only still a councillor, but alive and free? If you admit he has this power over a child not yet conceived, than surely you must admit that he has this same control over another?" Shibi's eyes went wide behind his dark glasses. It had simply never occurred to him that maybe Danzo had blackmailed others through threats against their offspring into joining his organization.
Naruto continued on. Sadly he said, "Sometimes one can be too caught up in the use of logic and forget to think of the random possibilities that, while not seeming logical to you, may be very logical to another. Sometimes what is possible is more important than what is known, Councillor. Danzo has his power because he will do anything to gain power. You failed to look beyond the narrow line of your logic for things that would affect the line of your logic." Shibi took the admonishment knowing it was well deserved. "I have absolutely no doubt some of those devices were planted by people either fully loyal to or well on the way to becoming fully loyal to Danzo. What do you think he will do when he finally has enough soldiers to confront me openly as he wishes to? How will your logic or your senses help you, or me, then when you have refused to look at the possible ways he could employ to get that army?"
"But you alone are not to blame. All of you have done the same thing in your own way. You have each only considered that which you considered important and ignored everything else. That has to change. You must all learn to look beyond the council chambers for the truth because in that room you like to gather in, nothing is true. Except that everything is a lie. That is the only truth you will find there."
"For the truth, you must walk among the people. You must drink with them, eat with them, work with them, and even sometimes sleep with them. But you have not done that. You have shut yourselves off from them. You have wrapped yourselves in red tape and isolated yourselves lest they, the people you work for, should ask something of you. This must stop before the Leaf is destroyed. Corruption begins at the top, gentlemen and ladies, but it quickly borrows into the roots until the tree is dead or sick beyond saving. Are you willing to sacrifice a branch to save the tree? This is the question you must answer. My Father already did, as did I. I am willing, just as he was, to see my line die if it means ending the corruption that is eating away at my home. To save us all, I will die without issue." He drew a shaky breath and closed his eyes against the pain in his heart. "But I find I am not willing to sacrifice Kakashi's reputation to that corruption. If you allow her to force me into this, I will bear a child for the village but I will not like it. And if I do it then you will make sure every damnable piece of evidence she has against us or every little threat she can wield is nullified and you will do it before the child is born. Do we have a deal?"
Kakashi inserted his own stipulation. "You will also make sure this never happens again. There will be no spy devices in my home but especially not in places of privacy. That is not negotiable unless you think someone has the right to take naked pictures of you and use them to make you do something you don't want to do."
"The spying cameras are out," spat Koharu. She shuddered. "Hiruzen will give both Homura and I hell over them as it is. No way will I approve of them now. Not that I would have had I been asked in the first place. But I do request the right to place some around the outside to watch the roof and the grounds. I specify the roof and the grounds. Not the windows and definitely not the rooms inside the house. You are correct in that everyone deserves to use the bathroom, change their clothes, or shower in peace and privacy. And absolutely no one should have to worry about what they do while they are sleeping." Next to her, Homura, though still pale and shaking, nodded his head in agreement. The rest of the councillors also agreed.
Hiashi said, "Naruto-kun, do not agree to anything she requests of you until we can find out exactly what she has. I want those pictures found and destroyed before you give in. You are right that as a known drunk who gambles too much she would use them as a bargaining chip in a gambling session and claim later that she didn't know they still held the power to destroy. You are also correct in assuming our enemies would love to get a hold of them."
"Ino," asked Inoichi. "What was that you handed to Kakashi when you came out of the bedroom? And where did you get it?"
"Sakura," Ino spat her former best friends name not able to continue seeing the pinkette as a friend over her involvement in this debacle, "brought me some of the pictures to prove the relationship between Kakashi-Sempai and Naruto. The other day she came into the shop and tried to make me believe they were already involved and everything. I tried to tell her pictures don't really prove anything since we all know Naruto is the Master of clones and henging them to look like anyone he wants them to. I also tried to tell her Naruto knew what the Hokage was trying to do and that he would see the clone interaction as a great way to prank her out of her so-called evidence. So she brought me evidence she said would show me it really was her Sensei and not just Naruto pranking them. When Shikamaru pointed out to her that just being involved in this is disrespectful to her sensei and teammate, she brushed Naruto aside without comment but said that if Kakashi hadn't been so stubborn about admitting how he felt than they would not have needed to go as far as they have. She said he is old hand enough as a ninja that he should have known what might happen and if he hadn't wanted it to then he should have just left Naruto to suffer through it. She basically said he deserves this because he didn't let Naruto deal with it on his own. I may not be the medic she is but even I know what can happen to a guy with a triple dose of a strong aphrodisiac in his system if he suffers alone. Her mother walked in and heard that and slapped her for disrespecting her Sensei though she did admit Sakura doesn't owe Naruto any in her opinion. Then she demanded I hand her the envelope and not even try to look inside. I handed her a fake and Shika grabbed it before she could discover it wasn't real and took off. She assumed he had the real thing and left, dragging Sakura with her. I went into the bathroom and tucked the real envelope under my clothes while Chouji paid our bill and we left. We were looking for Kakashi-sempai, Naruto or Shikamaru when Kakashi-sempai found us and brought us here. I handed him the envelope Sakura gave me when I came out of the bedroom."
"And will you allow us to see the evidence, Kakashi?" asked Hiashi.
Once again embarrassment, fear and anger rolled off the pair. Tsume said, "I really don't think it is necessary, Hiashi. Which of us has not engaged in a sexual act we would rather never admit to outside of the bedroom with the one we did it with? Those pictures are in bad taste and I need no further proof than what my nose is telling me."
"I was thinking of how to assess the level of a threat they are if they should fall into an outsiders hands as well as if even one of them should fall into Danzo's," Hiashi admitted. "I was not thinking to embarrass either of them any more than was necessary. Unfortunately, young Haruno is correct about Hatake being old enough to remember if someone will drug your food then they will also film the evidence you give them."
"Actually I did remember that. However, I could not stand by and watch him suffer. So I did not. And truthfully if I thought for a single minute the pictures Sakura took to Ino were all she had we would not be discussing this at all. She would get nowhere off these."
"Then will you show them to us?" Hiashi insisted. Kakashi had been hoping he would drop it but he'd also known he wouldn't.
Hinata stepped forward anger burning two bright red spots on her cheeks as she said in a very stern tone, "Otousan! Kaasan would be ashamed of you at this moment. Kakashi-Sempai, do not give him that envelope. You have already told him what he needs to know. Those pictures are not the worst she has to bear and are not the reason her blackmail will work. That is all you need to know, Father. Do NOT shame me by demanding to be a pervert in front of my comrades." She almost stamped her foot but held it in check and kept her chin held high as she stared her father straight in the eye. Everyone in the room got an up close and personal look at the real Hyuuga Princess and the reason why she was still Hiashi's heir as Hiashi straightened his spine and, without thinking, inclined his head to his daughter.
"You are correct that I do not need to see them. I was not wishing to embarrass or shame either yourself, our house or your cousin by insisting. I should have realized he said that those pictures were not the problem." Then his eyes shining with pride he stepped over to Hinata and wrapped her in his arms. Whispering he said, "I am proud of you, Hinata-hime. You will be a wonderful leader for the clan."
Ino stepped up and said, "The same thing holds true for you, Otousan, and I Know you're a pervert. But don't you even think of embarrassing me now." She shook her finger in Inoichi's direction, causing everyone to snicker.
All the parents caught the warning glares from their offspring and they all subsided not wishing to shame them any more than they already had though Shikamaru did warn his father, "I'll tell Kaasan and then she'll get her frying pan again." Shikato shuddered as his friends outright laughed. Quietly he said, "Ah but the making up after she chases me with it for a while. . ." Shikamaru just shook his head and mumbled, "Hopeless."
Naruto could feel Kakashi laughing though he didn't make a sound. The vibrations of his laughter rumbled against his spine sending tingles into him and igniting his own laughter. Beside them, Anko quietly said, "And that takes care of that issue. None of them will dare ask to see them again."
To Anko, Naruto said, "And now you know why the Hyuuga council has never deposed Hinata-chan to promote Hanabi. Meek, shy, quiet Hinata will be ten times the ruler her spoilt, vain little sister will be because she fully understands honor and, to the Hyuuga, honor is everything. That and she will stand up to her father and make him back down when he is in the wrong and doing something that would shame the clan. Hanabi will not, other than to get her own way about things."
"But does her family council know this about her or are they just assuming it?" asked Anko.
"They know it. She is my heir and there has never been any question but that she will inherit the clan when I die because that is the way of it. I was the same as she for my Father. I was his backstop after Kaasan died. She is my backstop since her Kaasan died. And when she leads, it will be one of her children who will be her backstop."
The meeting broke up with the councillors determined to mix and mingle more with the people but to also find out just what their Hokage was plotting and putting a stop to it. Whatever she had planned was not worth a child's life. They were also united in finding a way to rid themselves of the threat of Danzo. One of them, he might be, but Naruto was correct. He was the poison that was slowly killing the tree that was the Leaf village for all that he thought he was it's core keeping it strong and healthy.
After everyone was gone Kakashi pulled the envelope out and he and Naruto looked at the two shots Sakura had selected for Ino to see. "You do know the councillors will look at every picture she has, don't you?" Kakashi said.
Naruto nodded. "I know but they will say nothing about it for fear of just how their heirs will make them pay for any comment they make. Well Kiba isn't the heir but he will still make Tsume pay."
"She's the only one I don't worry about looking for those pictures. She isn't perverted to look longer than it takes to assure herself she has the correct set. Other than that, she is more likely to burn every single one she finds then study them."
"Were you really going to show these two to Hiashi?"
"Not in this condition I wasn't. I was going to make them so distorted it'd barely be possible for them to tell who was in them let alone what we were doing."
"And people think I'm the devious one. But I still want to prank her." He pouted, sensing that he just might lose his opportunity to prank her for all her mischief.
"And you shall. She has done way too much to us to get off with just whatever the council does to her as a result of this. This kind of stuff is expected of Jiraiya but not of her. She is supposed to be the sensible one. Sure she likes her Sake and gambling but she is not supposed to be a pervert also. She is supposed to fight the perversion."
"Let's go eat and then clean this mess up," said Naruto.
Author Note: And there goes another chapter down in flames. I know there's a lot of talk in this chapter and honestly I don't think it came out quite the way I wanted it to but I did the best I could. Hope you all enjoyed it. Remember to review. And don't worry about Sakura-chan. I have everything worked out in my mind with her.