Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Twilight, Midnight Sun, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, or Morning Brunch (though people think I am possessed whenever I get close enough to touch a book)

BOPV

I slipped and fell flat on my butt, but of course my swim suit bottoms caught on something, creating a three hundred and twenty-five dollar hole on my butt.

"Yes," I squeaked out to a still kneeling Edward. His eyes were bulging; his lips trying to hold back laughter. Some air accidentally slipped past his tightly sealed lips, causing a farting noise, even though vampires can't produce flatulence.

He slipped his - my - ring onto my finger. We both smiled. He suddenly turned to glare at a group of boys around our age. It clicked.

"Edward, what are they thinking?" I questioned.

"Well, first they think you are," he paused and wrinkled his alabaster nose, "hot. Second, they think you are a klutz. Third, they think I am the luckiest human on Earth, or any other planet for that matter. The latter is almost true, except for the human part," he said the last part with a crooked grin, then kissed me.

When Edward had hunted down the nearest towels he could find, he wrapped one around my waist and one around his. I was glad that no one could see my blunder now.

While walking to the womens' locker room for my clothes, I asked Edward, "You won't tell Alice about this, will you? I would rather not get another lecture on torturing fashion, and be questioned on when it ever did anything to me."

He said, "I would not tell her, but she has certainly already seen it happen. In hindsight, that would probably be why she broke out in waves of laughter this morning."

Laughing?, I thought. Well at last she wasn't mad.

"Why must you be a permanent pain in my butt?" she shouted into my face

APOV

-FLASHBACK-

"Will you marry me?" Edward asked.

Ooh, yay! Bella is going to marry Edward! I'll get to plan the wedding, I though, but the vision kept going... Bella stumbled over an invisible rock, the silly girl. I did not realize what had happened until she did not get up from her seat on the ground.

"Yes," she squeaked, a look of delirious content mixed with embarrassment on her face.

"What am I going to do with her?" I asked myself in frustration

I made a vow to myself: teach Bella some sense before the wedding, and –Emmett crept down the hallway - sneaking into Rosalie's bedroom! He took out a bra...

What the heck is he doing? I was puzzled. Emmett was always odd, but this is a new low.

He suddenly whispered, "Perfect. Now I can finally make my double sling shot!"

"Oh, no!" I gasped, then rethought. "This should be pretty interesting," I mused, bursting out into laughter.

-END FLASHBACK-

Bella's terrified face was in front of me. If Edward was here, he would be having a panic attack. Though it is a pretty good thing that he's not in the girl's locker room. It would still be funny, though, Edward turning even paler than death, and bunches of girls tackling him. They probably wouldn't be too mad. It would be pure lust. I started to giggle.

BPOV

Had Alice finally lost the last screw that had been holding her mind in place from her asylum days? She was giggling like her days in Wonderland were spent as the Mad Hatter. Should I call Carlisle for an intervention?

Alice looked at my stomach after she had managed to control her laughter. "Bella," she began. "I know you will hate this, but we have to go shopping. You're starting to," her voice dropped an octave as she glanced at my ever-growing waist. "Show. You need more tops that flow more. I doubt anything you own will fit you for much longer."

"Fine," I relented. "But just wait until I'm at the end of my pregnancy. Try finding a top that flows enough to fit me then," I joked.

As we were laughing, Alice's face suddenly blanked into a familiar mask. A vision. She blinked, then nodded.

Huh, I thought. I wonder how big I'll get.

After that, Alice seemed to be even more happy, and she was literately skipping through the locker room. Most of all, she refused to tell me what she had seen. All she would do is tap her crown and say, "You'll see,"

Once I was dressed, Alice and I went out to find Edward and tell him that we were going shopping. We turned the corner, and I saw the most beautiful, cold, creamy thing ever waiting there. My true love was waiting there...

"Ice cream!" I yelled with glee.

It was delicious, the top scoop vanilla, the bottom strawberry both floating in a moat of hot fudge. Edward chuckled at how much pleasure I was getting out of one little ice cream cone.

"I thought when you ate ice cream, it went in through your mouth, not your cheeks," he remarked as he examined the gooey mess on my face. The shade of my cheeks matched the ice cream from my embarrassment.

Then, out of nowhere, Edward's eyes hit me with a full strength dazzle. My mouth fell open and all the ice cream and hot fudge ran down my chin like rivers down a mountain. Alice, not wanting the designer shirt she just bought for me to be ruined, broke Edward's gaze by distracting him with a vision. Apparently, it was very funny because Edward broke out in peals of laughter.

EPOV

A double sling shot? Oh, my Carlisle, Rosalie, the lovely sister she is, is going to kill Emmett.

Wait, the vision is still going... I see Bella, and she is big!

Alice quickly blocked the accidental slip from my mind. Ughh, Pride and Prejudice is a good book, but in Biblical Greek it just sounds like a math equation.

Being unable to chisel through her mental block, I asked her, "When will Emmett's double slingshot happen?"

She smiled, thinking, "Tomorrow at three."

Breaking from the almost silent conversation, we laughed at Bella's bewildered expression. She seemed to remember something after that.

"By the way," she began, "Alice is taking me shopping," her voice rose an octave in imitation, "'Bella, if you're going to look like as beluga whale, then you had better be a stylish one!'" Her voice fell to its normal pitch as Alice grimaced from the mockery, "I didn't know they made clothes in whale sizes," she mocked, smiling.

"The shopping is fine, but it's more like a baby beluga if you ask me."

Her perfect lips dropped, but Bella, not being the best actress, let giggles out through the facade.

BPOV

Ha! Okay, that was pretty funny. Baby beluga. Wait... that means I'm fat! I burst into tears. Bafflement showed through Edward's concern.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, perplexed.

I explained to the confused male. "Well, one second I was enjoying the joke, and the next, I realized that I'm fat!" I cried.

Edward's face lit up with understanding. One hundred year old boyfriends have their breakthroughs every once in a while. "Bella, I believe you're beginning to experience," he slid his voice into that of a kooky German professor. "Moo-od sve-ings."

Anger struck me. "Oh, that's just great! On top of a baby, I have to deal with mood swings?" I yelled. "No, I am not having mood swings! I AM NOT HAVING MOOD SWINGS!"

The anger faded, and tears came to replace it. Edward was shaken. Even vampire speed wasn't fast enough to keep up with the turbulence of my emotions.

"Oh. Okay," he gulped. While Alice was laughing at my contradicting actions and Edward's confusion, she had a vision again. This time Edward saw it before she could block it.

"Twins..." he whispered, almost subconsciously. Then it went black.

AN: OMSMOE! Oh my sweet mother of EDWARD! Wait, Esme? But how the hell, sorry, did Mike manage to leave three people at the same time? AT THE SAME TIME!

PS: Edward is super sexy, or as I like to call it, smexy.

PSS: I am smexy – I look like Bella, despite my editor's claims against. (EN: She's a blue-eyed, blonde-haired girl. Bella's spitting image.) MWAH-HA-HA!

PSSS: MC + Edward forever :P (EN: ?!)

- Amanda, and her editor, Alice