A/N First, no offensie meant to anyone whose lives may be affected by the condition Edward offers as a possiblity, you'll see. 2nd, sorry this took a little longer than usual. I was stressing way more than normal for me to get this chapter right. I have fallen in love with my versions of E/B and needed it to go just right. I hope you all enjoy it, its a little longer than the other chapters I think. Please review and give your opinions, suggestions etc. I am also still looking for a beta, so if you are one or know of a good one, by all means consider me please. Right now me and my best friend Topaz1082 have been helping each other with our stories but we are so close I am afraid our brains are too similar to truly be objective. Check out her story, A Life Reborn, its awesome!

Things I own: Earrings that are screws, 1 of those new glade motion sensor air fresheners, FloJos black flip flops, a sewing machine that intimidates me but I love it dearly. Things I don't own: Twilight, Edward and Bella, those are Stephanie Meyer's, I just make them all conteplative and mushy in my way.

Love you all

*Autumn*

Choose Wisely Ch 6

"So Bella, what's at Wal-Mart that you need?" he questioned, but it seemed as though he was actually trying to learn more about me.

"Answers" was all I gave him.

BPOV

During the ride to Wal-Mart we chatted about nothing and everything.

"So how long have you and Tanya been together? I pried.

"How long? Um, well so long that I can't really remember how long. I think since about sixth grade… yeah we were 12 or so." He shared with me, although I wasn't completely expecting him to go into it that much. I was glad he did. I just smiled and watched him drive.

He looked over at me, saw me smiling, looked back to the road and added "Yeah Tanya is… well she is a great girl."

Hmm… I thought about his last two statements, and then I thought about the kinda sorta hand holding incident, and then I just thought "What the Fuck!?!"

Well I thought I thought it but apparently I said it out loud. Edward's face changed very quickly from excited and relaxed to confused and… a little disturbed I think. I still don't know him well, which is another problem in its self.

He sat for a minute, silent, probably thinking, maybe figuring out where that came from or if he caused it.

Finally, he spoke. "Bella… I am trying to figure out how to respond to your random outburst. I have come up with three possibilities. One, you have Tourette's."

I started to laugh at his imagination but choked it back. He noticed and smiled, glad to have amused me. "Two, you saw something very strange outside, a man peeing on the side of the road perhaps or a dog humping a deer"

Again I laughed, this time unable to hold it back as much, and again he smiled, even bigger. "Or three, and this is the most probable one to me, I did or said something to cause the sudden need to scream expletives."

The silence filling the car was suffocating, but I didn't know how to answer him. Up to this point I had tried to be honest without being obvious, but I don't think I can apply that here. So I inhaled until my lungs could hold no more air, closed my eyes and let the truth spill forth.

"After you told me about you and Tanya and how you have been together for, well forever really, and then you told me she was a 'great girl'" I used air quotes for the great girl part. "I was trying to understand where the impromptu hand holding with me, and even where this trip, fits in." Whew I did it.

His face seemed strained, as though he was trying to remember something that was on the tip of his tongue. I guess he was trying to see it from my point of view, at least I hope that is what he is doing.

After what felt like several minutes later, he took his equivalent of my big breath, and let his thoughts spill.

"Bella, I love Tanya, I really do but…" And he paused, looked at me and pulled off the freeway and to the side of a road near a pumpkin patch.

He sat in silence for a long while. I thought his big breath meant he was going to have a cathartic exercise like me, guess not.

"But?" I asked, seriously running out of patience.

Several more seconds of nothing and then he turned his body, so his right leg was bent on the seat, lying sideways and he was completely facing me.

"I wasn't completely ready to do this, but here goes nothing" another big breath, and finally he spilt.

"Like I was saying I do love Tanya, and she is a great girl, but since I met you, well since I met you I have been confused about my future. Where I used to always see me and her, now I see me and, well maybe me and you. But I am very confused because I barely know you. I just met you yesterday. How can a person meet someone and change everything about their life? I don't really know Bella, I just… I don't know."

I am unable to think. Actually not having the ability to think anything except that I can't think.

All right, I need to break this down. I like Edward, is it like? It feels more like love. Whatever, I some word that begins with an L Edward, and he just told me that he likes me too. Right? That is what he said, I think. He said he sees me and him in his future. Do I see him in my future? What about Jacob? Oh God, I know I love Jacob, there is no debate about that, but this thing, this feeling with Edward is something else. It is unworldly, I cannot deny it, and it seems to have taken me over, not even allowing me to think about anything else. I need to figure this out; I need to know what is in my future. I don't know how to find that out but I have to.

I realized we had been sitting for quite a while, not talking. I am sure he wants some sort of reply, but I still wasn't able to form sentences. Every time I attempted to form one in my head, only sounds came to mind. Ugh, Agh, Ack, Huh, Ooh, sigh.

So I looked up and met his eyes, spit out "processing" and pointed to my head, which apparently was sign language for processing.

He nodded, folded his arms and didn't say another word. I appreciated this. It gave me the minutes I needed to gather the information I had, process it and form a plan.

"What about Tanya? And Jacob?" I started my flow, letting the words land, on his mind and in his heart, wherever they may.

"I understand your feelings because" I paused, a little afraid to reveal this, but he had made himself vulnerable to me, so I would for him too. "I share them. I have the same confusing, new, scary, amazing feelings you have. But I love Jacob, I need him. We have been through a lot together. I know it is real. Did you know the first six months of our relationship were long distance?" I questioned him, and he just shook his head.

"Yeah, he lived here, I lived in Phoenix. But we love each other so I knew it would work, somehow. But now, now I have no idea how it can work. I mean, I don't think I even know who I am anymore and you… you are so… there."

I took a breath, and looked at him. I had been twisting the draw strings on my sweater, and they had formed little circles which I let twirl undone. I waited… for something. I didn't know what I would do if he said 'Your right'. Would I feel better, knowing all the complicated could dissipate, or would I feel crushed, that my one opportunity for real, grade A love just… agreed with me?

"Oh Bella, I know this is terribly confusing, and sad and scary, but what should we do? Because I can't stay away from you. I think Fate, or something is pulling me to you, and no matter what I do, your face fills my mind, your sweet smell fills my nose, your voice, your beautiful voice is all I can hear…"

He reached out and took my hand. I almost pulled away, but he was right, something was pulling us together and being away from him was getting harder and harder as the seconds passed.

"Bella, we will figure this all out ok? For now, let's just get to know each other. Is that acceptable with you?"

"Um, get to know each other, um… yeah that works" sentences still proved difficult.

He smiled my smile, the one that makes my heart swell, and I got lost in it. Staring into his eyes, figuring out him and this .And then he leaned in a few inches before he stopped and in one very swift movement, pulled back, turned around and started the car.

Did he want to kiss me? Oh my goodness, I think he wanted to kiss me. I am not ready for this, I need more time. I need more processing. I was not ready to kiss anyone else, especially Edward Cullen. But then why did I almost lean in too?

EPOV

After pulling the car over and parking I tried to gather my thoughts. I knew what I needed to say, I knew the seriousness and impact of what I needed to say, but I didn't want to have to say it yet. How did this all happen so damn fast?

I obviously couldn't leave her hanging with 'But' and I didn't want to lie to her, so ready or not, I was about to spill my guts and feelings to this woman whom I barely know but have come to need so desperately.

"I wasn't completely ready to do this, but here goes nothing" I told her and proceeded to tell her everything.

I told her about how I love Tanya but see my future with her. I tried the best I could under the circumstances and with no preparation to tell her how much I need her, without overwhelming her.

When I was done, she didn't speak, she didn't even move really. After sometime she said "processing" and pointed to her head. I wondered if anyone had ever told her how adorable she is.

She picked up the drawstring from her sweater and began twisting it. I watched as her nimble but slightly clumsy fingers rolled and twirled the very lucky string. I thought about Bella making these moves with my hair instead. Man this girl has really gotten into me.

After some more time, she started talking while simultaneously letting go of the looped string creation, and she watched it spin. She told me she feels the same for me but that she loves Jacob very much. She told me about their relationship being a long distance one for a while. I stayed on that for a minute deciding if that made them stronger and therefore more difficult to break up or if it meant they really didn't know or love each other enough and it would be easy. Then I kicked myself for having such selfish thoughts.

I tried to comfort her, to let her know these emotions were difficult and scary for me to, but I ended up telling her how much she means to me. Then I told her that we would figure this all out and for now to just get to know each other.

She seemed ok with this and I smiled.

When I smiled she looked at me in a way she had never looked at me before. It was like she was seeing through my eyes, into my heart. Like she wanted me, like she needed me. I was hypnotized by her in that moment and I started to lean in to kiss her. When I began moving towards her, her expression changed ever so slightly, just enough to snap me out of the trance she had put me in. Instantly I realized what I had done and I sat up and started the car.

She looked… a little sad? And definitely confused.

"So Wal-Mart?" I asked her because I wasn't sure anymore.

"Well yeah, I mean what else would ditching school be worth it for?" she snapped back sarcastically. I looked at her and she had this almost devious smile on her face, I loved it.

"Ok, if you still want to go, I will, but… well let's just get there." I replied.

The drive was quiet. We still had about 20 minutes left to our destination. I kept thinking about my stupidity. How could I lean in like that? I really hope she doesn't know my intentions because I think it would scare her. I know she told me my feelings were mutual, but she also clearly expressed that her feelings for Jacob, her love for him, was very strong and a major complication for her. Kissing her would only anger her.

I was already baffled by the hand holding in bio earlier, but tried to chalk it up to some overwhelming emotion that took me over. It could be considered cheating I suppose, but it really wasn't that bad. Kissing on the other hand, kissing is cheating to me. If I would have kissed Bella, I would have cheated on Tanya and made her cheat on Jacob. But I kept telling myself "You didn't kiss her Edward, get over it!"

When we pulled up to Wal-Mart, I looked for a parking spot semi close to the entrance. Less chance of people seeing me if I have less distance from my car to the building. What am I thinking, who would see me? It isn't like Rose or Jazz would ever shop here. I shared a private little laugh with myself and Bella mistook it as me laughing At Wal-Mart.

"Eddie, it isn't that bad you will see." I love when she calls me Eddie.

We got out of the car and started walking. "I wasn't laughing about that." I informed her.

"Oh, I'm sorry I just figured…" was what she said. She didn't ask me what I was laughing about. I wonder why.

We walked into Wal-Mart and I figured we were supposed to get one of gray plastic carts. I walked to them, trying to show a little chivalry, but Bella yelled to me from around the corner, holding up a small, hand held blue basket. We walked around a little, just meandering through the aisles. We eventually found our way to where they had organized all of the personal hygiene items into several shelves.

I was looking at how cheap shampoo is here when I heard Bella, "Edward, where are you?" I followed her voice to find her standing in, of all places, the tampon aisle. "What the Fuck!?!" I quoted her from earlier. "Did you seriously call me over here to help you pick out… women... special… those?" I pointed to the contents of the shelf in front of us.

"Oh grow up Edward Cullen. I am sure you have had your fair share of pregnancy scares and been so thrilled when you took Tanya to this aisle instead of the one about two over." She quipped.

I looked two isles over and saw condoms. OK, what's the big deal about condoms? "Look a little lower on the shelf Bud" I guess she noticed my shrug at the condoms, so I looked lower. My eyes met several boxes in varying shades of blue or pink. "Oh" was all I could muster.

It was then that I realized Bella thought of me that way. Well, she thought I was, as the adults say, "sexually active"

"Um, Bella, this is kind of Awkward, but I um, well, I…" I searched for the least embarrassing way to admit I was a virgin, and by choice, but failed to come up with one, and therefore stumbled all over my words.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy Cullen, spit it out"

"Well, ok fine. I am a virgin! There I said it." And I could swear I was blushing, right there by the Always with wings and the mini floral scented panty liners. What the hell is a panty liner anyway?

Bella just looked shocked. I couldn't even tell if she believed me or not.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she told me. "It's just; I didn't know guys were waiting too."

She said too, she said waiting too. Does that mean she is waiting? Oh God that would be great for us. To have our first times be together. I mean with the electricity we share I can only imagine… No, No imagining for me. Change of topic…

"Got what ya need?" I asked as I looked into her still empty basket. Then I looked back up to her, giving her a very puzzled look. She smiled, through a blue and yellow box into the basket and walked past me. But when she walked past me, she had to push her body up against mine to avoid hitting a poll with a phone on it. The feel of her breath on me, her hair landing on my chest, gently sliding off, and her breasts becoming slightly squished onto my ribs was about as much as I could take.

Why do I need to distract myself so often? I need to get into more open space I figured.

I followed after her, trying to catch up with her fast pace without running. I didn't want to look like a bride at a wedding gown sale.

"Bella!" I finally called, trying to get her to stop. Which she did. I walked to her at a normal pace now and she looked so smug. It was right then I got it. Bella never needed to go to Wal-Mart, what Bella needed was to get me out of my comfort zone. How conniving, how deceiving, how cruel, how perfect.

"All right, I get it, we can go now, I had a large piece of humble pie, and I got to see the huge differences between us. You are successful. Please let's go somewhere neutral. Please?" I practically begged, trying to will her smile to turn into a yes.

"I just don't know that I am convinced Eddie. Our worlds are drastically different. No matter the… this thing we have going on, whatever it is, we have to also face reality. Are you sure you have faced it?"

I thought about everything. As though I was dying, my life flashed before me and suddenly I felt completely panicked. I needed air. I gave in and ran to the doors. Bella just watched me. When I got outside I crumbled, falling to my knees, flooded with the thought and emotions that had invaded me over the past two days. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know how I even felt anymore.

I need space, I need comfort, I need love, I need familiar, I need air and breath, I need to run but I also need to curl up in my bed and allow myself to escape to my head. I felt like what I really needed was my best friend, but my best friend is Tanya and I just can't go to her for this. I thought about the guys, or even Alice, but it didn't seem right either. I thought about Bella, but well she is the biggest part of the problem. At this moment I didn't have a single person to spill my heart to because at this moment my heart had betrayed me.

I looked up and saw Bella standing over me. She looked sad and concerned and a little bit of something else that I couldn't figure out considering I really don't know her. But I longed to know her, to know every detail of her life, her habits, her routine, her psyche and her body. The last one of those being the one that bothered me the most because I had desired to know all of this about Tanya for so long, and all though I wanted to know Tanya's body, I very easily resisted it. I was not easily resisting the hunger for knowledge about every curve of Bella's anatomy.

"Edward, I think we both have had enough for the day, I think you should take me back to get my truck so I can go home" she informed me. I thought about her rusty beat up excuse for transportation and quivered at the thought of her safety for the less than a mile from her home to the school in that thing.

"You think you can make it from school to your house in that scrap metal on wheels?" I joked.

"Not everyone has multitudes of money to spend on fancy cars and expensive clothes Edward, the rest of us Wal-Mart people have to get by, and a Mercedes or Lexus just doesn't fit into my budget. Free, which is what my truck cost me, does however fit into it very nicely!" she was almost yelling. I could tell I had really pissed her off. I knew I needed to apologize for freaking out, but I wasn't sure how yet. Hopefully sooner rather than later in our hour long car ride I would figure it out.

"All right Bella, I'll take you back" I agreed, but I sounded so desperate. I knew there was a chance that I had ruined whatever this could have been. I have jumped to far ahead to damn fast.

We walked to the car, got in and started the trip home. Bella sat on the seat next to me but felt so far away. Somehow in such a short time this girl, this strong, pushy, vulnerable, stunning girl, had become my life. I knew I was a bastard, an asshole for allowing this to be, for what I knew was going to happen with me and Tanya whether Bella and I were ever together or not. I am a jerk because my heart has made me so.

As I was driving and she was twirling her draw strings again. I noticed that this was a nervous or anxious behavior, that she fiddles when she feels that way. It was in that moment, that instant when I realized I learned something new about her that I knew without any fraction of doubt that I had to learn everything about her. Learning such a small piece of her was feeding my soul, my heart. All of a sudden I felt ravenous, not in the sense of needing food, but in needing my heart to be fed. I felt as though it was empty, maybe it has been empty for some time now, but I realized that Bella provided me with something that Tanya never could. She gave me fulfillment, hope, butterflies, desire, dreams; she filled the other half of my soul. A half I didn't even know I was missing. But does anyone realize it was missing until they stumble upon the other piece?

I felt like I was having an epiphany, like the purpose of my life had been realized and it was sitting next to be, sulking and rolling a piece of string between her fingers, scared.

Scared, Bella looked scared, and I was scared. Wait, I knew I was scared before, but am I scared now? I don't think so. All I feel is… exhale. Now I understood Whitney Houston, I understood now that I was waiting for Bella, or rather my heart was waiting for her without my knowledge of it. Everything made sense, even my reluctance to physical intimacy with Tanya. I am just an old fashioned guy, and it never felt right to make love to her. It didn't feel right because my heart, my uncompleted heart knew that Tanya was who I loved then, but Bella was who my heart was designed for. I would be able to give Bella all of me, all of every part of me. This whole time I kept thinking my heart had betrayed me, that it had betrayed Tanya, but the truth is my heart was looking after me. It was patiently waiting for Isabella Swan to move to Forks and change my life forever. My heart was having me choose wisely who I gave it fully to, without my permission, but with my eternal gratitude.

I looked at her again, glancing quickly from the road. She reached up and scratched her neck, moving her hair aside so I could be privy to seeing her do such a normal every day human thing, a thing that gave my soul another bite.

"Bella" I said her name quietly, under my breath, as if I was answering a question to myself.

She heard me "Yeah?" she sounded so tired, emotionally exhausted.

How do you tell someone you just had a revelation that they are the person God created to make you whole? How do you tell them that you need them, and how the hell do you tell them you know this after mere hours of meeting them? I can't tell her, I have to show her. She may not be ready for this, but I no longer doubted us, I saw my future very clearly and she was it. I wouldn't tell her all of this now; I would let her have her time. The time she needed to figure out her heart, to figure out how she feels about me and what to do about Jacob. I would wait now, with my heart, because I know. I may not know her but I will and she will know me.

"I know this is hard for you, and I want to help you in any way I can, but I also need you to know that there is no decision for me." I replied to her.

She looked a little more confused but she also appeared relieved.

I smiled at her and she smiled back. Not a fake I'm smiling cause you did but a real, earnest smile.

I let my heart guide me since it obviously knows better than I do and I reached out and held her hand. She didn't even flinch; she gripped my hand back, tightly.

I would do whatever she needs me to do, even if that meant giving her space. I would hate every second of it, but if it was a step to being with her always I would do it.

But for now, here in the car, as our hands were intertwined and our hearts coming together, finding their homes, I was hers and she mine.

A/N what did you think? I know it is fast, realizing you love and need someone so soon, but we all have heard of it, and a lucky few have experienced it. Sometimes love grows slowly over time, sometimes it hits you in an instant like a ton of bricks. Review please and tell your friends about my story. Thank you Everyone!