Tails shuddered under the irritated gaze of the four ladies he had somehow attracted. He smiled sheepishly as his gaze flickered to the angry faces of Fiona, Cream, Cosmo and Marine.

"Er, how about before I answer that question, you guys back up a little?"

"Stop stalling!" Fiona ordered. "We've been through the stupid competition thing and you still didn't choose like you promised! What was up with that?!"

"Correction," Tails pointed out. "The person who won ended up not wanting a boyfriend."

"Are ya talkin' about me?" Marine asked. "Well guess what, oi've changed my mind. I want a bladdy boyfriend!" The raccoon pirate smiled triumphantly. "I win by default!"

Tails twitched his ear. "Er, no. It, um…expired?"

"Ha ha!" Cosmo grinned from ear to ear (or whatever she has). "See? That means Tails wants to keep his options open. It's quite obvious I'm the one he wants." The alien looked deep into the fox's eyes. "Remember the love we shared?"

"I moved on." Tails tried to be nice yet blunt. Cosmo's reaction was less than satisfied.

It wasn't long before all the girls broke into another argument, insults being hurled back and forth. Tails then realized that he was still standing on his door step. Trying to be as stealthy as he could, he backed away slowly and slammed the door behind him.

The fox exhaled slowly and slid down his door and buried his face in his gloved palms. "This. Isn't. Going. Well." He looked up at his ceiling and tried to think of something—ANYTHING—that could please everyone. The only problem was that in this situation, there was no pleasing everybody.

Seconds turned into minutes as Tails racked his brain for ideas. What could he do? He could move to Toledo. Yeah, there we go. Then he gulped as he realized that there would probably be a new flock of fangirls there to pester him.

Suddenly, everything came to him. There WAS a way he could please everyone! Obviously there was someone out there for everyone, and if there was only one of him and four girls, he wasn't the one for everyone. All he would have to do is find someone out there who would love every single one of those psychos!

The fox jumped up and yanked the door open, much to the surprise of the four girls standing there.

"What?" Cream said confusingly. "He slipped away without us knowing?"

Trying to be calm and quiet, Tails cleared his throat. "OK, everyone, listen up."

Marine raised her hand. "Are we gonna be here fer yonks on end? If so, oi need some food."

"No." Tails face-palmed inwardly. Was he really that boring? "Anyway, I think I've come up with a solution to this problem." He smiled widely. "I'm taking everyone to an unknown location of my choice! And there, we'll…uh…do stuff!" And hopefully find your one true love…

Fiona clapped happily. "Yay!! Can we go to Paris? Or maybe France…"

"Paris IS in France," Cosmo pointed out. That didn't damper the red fox's enthusiasm though.

"'ey mate, when are we gonna start this lil' excursion of ours?" Marine asked curiously.

Tails stood blankly in his doorway for a moment. "As soon as I use my computer." Then he slammed the door shut.

Later that day, Tails was finally done creating four profiles on eHarmony for every one of his followers. A thought ran through his mind: Isn't this sort of mean? Then as he noticed how many hits each of the girls were getting, he reconsidered: Naaah!!

A/N: I mean to do one of these last chapter but I didn't get around to it…anyway, this is my first attempt at a stable story since my downfall in the middle of last month. And by the number of reviews I'm getting I guess it's working out OK. I'd appreciate niceness and no flaming (though I doubt anyone will, better safe than sorry!). Oh and I guess I should throw this in there: I don't own Sonic. There.