Choose Wisely chapter 8

A/N I got in a flow of writing and I just let it come out. So as an apology of sorts I am posting my two longest chapters in one day! I hope it doesn't disappoint. Caution: Enter at your own risk and bring tissues. Just a little note, I actually got teary and a few even escaped while writing my own story. Granted I start writing and allow my characters take over, so I am not completely out there but it should tell you something. I still need a Beta if anyone is interested. Did you like getting two crazy chapters in one day? Review and tell me, and tell your friends. Love to all.

Things I own: A Chicago bears t-shirt (huge fan), an old pair of holey, ratty, grey chucks that I won't ever throw out, and a collection of t-shirts with ties printed on them. I am obsessed with these, I may need professional help. Unfortunately I do not own Twilight, Edward, Bella or any of their sidekicks, SMeyer is their owner.

She sniffled and looked up at me, "I'm not crying because of the movie Edward"

She was stern, she was serious, she was sad.

"Oh" was all my brain could think to say.

EPOV

"Why are you crying then?" I finally managed to get out.

She took a moment, sat up ever so slightly, used her tissue to wipe her face and sighed. "Because of you Edward" she said. Her voice was riddled with tears and a heavy weight.

My brain started franticly searching for something, anything she may have picked up on that would cause her to cry. Of course the obvious like me ditching, leaving her to ride with her brothers home, or me coming over to talk to them and not her came to mind, but I could tell there was something I was missing.

"Did you have fun playing games with the guys?" she asked. I think she was sincere, but I also thought I detected a hint of sarcasm.

"You're asking me about video games? Why are you avoiding talking to me Tanya?" I questioned her motives.

"Well, why haven't you sat on the couch next to me, especially since I was crying Edward?" She shot back, in a snide manner.

The act of using each other's names at the end of our questions was odd. We had never done it, at least not like this. It scared me. I didn't quite understand what was going on. She was sad, but she was also mad? What happened while I was upstairs? What did Rosalie tell her? No one knew anything, no one except me and the boys and I knew they wouldn't say a thing. If for no other reason than not wanting her to kill the messenger. But I knew they had my back, so to speak.

"I didn't sit on the couch because the vibe you were giving off yelled stay back" I was brutally honest with her but I walked over and sat next to her.

Her eyes were puffy, red and looked like she had been crying harder than she let on. She was still in the clothes she wore to school but they were twisted and wrinkled from lying on the couch. Mascara was running down both cheeks and she clung to a tissue in her right hand. She looked terrible.

I felt even worse. I had made her like this, I made her sad, and I made her cry.

"How did I make you cry? You said 'ok' about me ditching, was that just a front for Jasper or what?" I asked, I needed some clarity.

"I thought I heard the old Mario music? Were you guys somehow playing old video games?" Was what she chose to respond with?

I was mad. I was trying to address this, to find out what was wrong and hopefully make it better, for now. But she just kept deflecting, avoiding the situation and apparently not wanting to talk about it.

I got up, walked to the door, put my hand on the handle, and turned to look at her. She looked absolutely pissed off. "Fine Tanya, you want to cry go ahead, you want to yell at me go ahead, but I won't be here to see you do it!" I practically yelled at her and flung the door open. When I stepped outside I lost it. I started crying and sat on the front step.

After a few minutes I had stopped crying. Then the door opened. I thought at first that it would be Rose leaving but then I realized not nearly enough time had passed for her to repay her debts, so I turned around to see who was standing behind me.

I was not expecting to see her, to see Tanya standing there. She still looked horrible, and sad, but also a little guilty now.

I didn't say anything and neither did she. She sat next to me on the step, putting her hands together in her lap. We sat there for a long time. We got cold, she shivered and I put my arm around her. I hoped it wouldn't lead her on, but knew I could never leave any girl cold if there was anything I could do about it.

She scooted closer to me in response to my arm wrapping around her shoulders and she laid her head on my left shoulder. We still sat there. No words spoken out loud, but it seemed as though so much was taking place. It almost felt as though us sitting there together was a good bye of sorts. What must have been hours later, long after Rosalie left and Tanya's parents got home, I decided I needed to try again. To find out what I had done to make her cry. I only hoped she would tell me.

"Tanya… what is wrong?" I said as I wiped yet another tear from her cheek. She sighed, but didn't answer. I waited again, patiently… again. I owed her that at least. I didn't know how, but I knew she knew. I wasn't sure she knew about Bella, but she at least knew I was going to end this. I don't know which odd behavior of mine over the past two days was the deal breaker, but she knew.

Before I could tell her, before I could even think about ending this I had to hear from her. I needed to know what she was thinking, what had hurt her. I didn't want one of those movie cliché' moments when I assume she knows and I start talking about it, only then discovering she was only crying cause her grandma's cat died or something. That is not how this would go, she deserved better. What we had deserved better.

Over the years I had thought about if we would end. I usually decided that no, we would never end, but every once in a while I wondered if we got into different colleges what would happen. I wondered if she would feel like I limited her options, or even if I would feel that way. I usually stopped myself from going any further on that train of thought because it would upset me so much.

Now, here I am, faced with reality, doing what I never thought I would do.

But I was also feeling a love that I didn't even know existed. To me, to my heart, that topped everything else. They say love is what life is about. The love for your friends, your family, and hopefully the love you would someday find with a special person who you would spend the rest of your life with. I thought that was Tanya, but now I know that is Bella. The difference is so clear now, sitting on this front porch. The difference between thinking and knowing. I thought Tanya was the girl for me, but I know it is Bella. The guys may not understand that, Tanya may not understand it if I ever dared to tell her, Hell I may not even fully understand it, but it is what it is. Truth. Certainty. Decisions. Clarity. Love.

I heard a small whimper, and then a loud sob and I looked over at her. She was crying again. But this time, she was crying hard. Barely even able to catch her breath between sobs hard. I had no idea what to do. I wish there had been some way to do this with no one getting hurt. I scooted as close to her as possible and pulled her head a little more down, more towards my chest. I wrapped my free arm around the front of her body and started rocking her. I was trying to calm her down.

I had only seen her cry like this one other time, two years ago when her Grandpa had passed away.

Then I understood. The reason she was so upset, the reason she was crying so hard, was because we were dying, and she knew it was only a matter of words for our relationship to truly be dead. I thought I felt like shit, but I realized now she felt worse. I seemed to have forgotten that I had Bella to help me, that Bella and I would help each other. That just the fact that we had each other made this not as bad for us. We already had pieces to fill the holes that we would be creating, but Tanya and Jacob, they were just losing everything, not gaining anything like we were.

I felt even worse now and I started crying too. So this is what we are now. Two people, sitting in the middle of the night, dreading the inevitable, cold and crying. This is what I had made us.

"Tanya… please talk to me. We have been out here forever and I will stay here until we talk about it, but you are cold and, just please, talk to me." I begged, I pleaded with her.

She started nodding her head and pulling herself together enough to speak.

My heart started racing. Was I glad to be doing this. Was I dreading something all night and she was upset about something small not the big thing? Was I scared or worried? Could I possibly be feeling excitement at being that much closer to being with Bella? I think I felt all of that and more, and I felt like an ass for most of it.

"What did you need to talk to Em and Jazz about?" she asked. Her question confused me. I thought she was going to tell me why she was crying.

"Just needed to run something past them" I gave another almost truth. "Please just tell me what I did to make you cry like this, I am desperate here Tanya, I need to know." I again begged.

"Edward… I came upstairs earlier to ask if you wanted to watch Ben Hur again. It was on again tonight and I know how much you love that movie." She told me.

My brain began processing. She came upstairs. I didn't hear her so I have no idea when. But I did know what it meant. She heard me talking to the boys. I'm not sure what she heard, or how much, but unless learning Em has a bigger than expected vocabulary really upsets her, she heard enough to confirm my fear. She knew we were dying. She knew all day.

She was crying, she was hurting, she was alone and I was playing video games. Now I understand her reason for asking if I had fun playing. Shit, this isn't how this is supposed to happen. Shit Shit Shit!!!

This is happening though Edward, be a man, treat her right and do the right thing. You love her, and you don't want her to hurt, but you love Bella and need her so just rip the band aid off as fast and gentle as possible and show the relationship you have had with Tanya the respect it deserves. I was giving myself a pep talk, reminding myself why I needed to hurt Tanya so badly. Bella. Bella.

"Oh" I said.

She laughed. She laughed? What the fuck?

"Is that your new favorite word?" she asked.

"Oh" I said again, shit where was my vocabulary tonight? "I just, it is taking me an unusual amount of time to process things right now, I am sorry." I explained.

"Tanya… what did you hear?" I asked while dropping my arms and sitting up. I was thinking if she heard everything I wouldn't have to tell her much more, but I was also hoping she didn't hear any of the part about Bella.

"Well, enough." She stated but I could tell she wasn't done talking.

"I heard you tell them 'I am serious, I am going to break up with Tanya'. Is that enough for you or should I go on?" She was getting very angry. I didn't expect that yet. I sat silent, stunned.

"I heard them basically tell you it was ok and I heard you tell them that you didn't plan on doing it today, which Emmett was grateful for because he didn't want rose to be consoling me instead of blowing him!" She was completely yelling now and I thought she might wake everyone in the house.

"Oh" Shit, there was that word again. "Tanya, I don't… I don't even know what to say, where to begin."

"Well why don't you start by telling me why the hell you're dumping me? That would be a good place!" she was still shouting but had brought it down to a containable volume. She was right, I should start there, but all I could think was 'Thank God she didn't hear the Bella part!' But then I realized that when I didn't include the Bella part, I had no idea how to explain to her why I was hurting her.

"That is… so complicated Tanya… I'm not saying I won't do it, just that I need your patience, if you could give me it, If not, I understand." She nodded that I could have her patience right now, and I continued.

"First I want to tell you that I love you, that hasn't changed at all. Also that hurting you is the worst and hardest thing I have ever even thought about doing, let alone done, and I don't want to hurt you but I have to be fair, not only to myself but to you too." I started explaining, and she just listened.

"I love you, but the love I have for you is so familiar, I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't love you. It has always been and will always be, and that is the reason. I want to know what falling in love is like; I want to know what it is like to be with someone without knowing everything about them or without the familiar. I need to be able to get to know someone, to learn about her and learn about myself in the process. I want some normal teenage boy experiences with meeting the parents and earning her trust. I love you Tanya, I do, but my heart, it needs something new. I will always love you. I will always be here. I will always be me, and we will hopefully always be friends. I mean you are my best friend. Not your brothers, not my sisters, only you! Only you know how much I love Ben Hur or why I want to wear old clothes. Only I know each of your smiles well enough for words to not be needed. I just hope… no Tanya, I pray that somehow, someday you can forgive me, and we can be friends. I need to do this but I am terrified of losing you. Please…" and with that I started crying again. No tears were falling from her eyes, maybe there were none left or she was too mad, but I was a blubbering baby. I was crying and heaving and snot was dripping out of my nose.

I knew I was losing my best friend. The person in this world who knows me inside and out, all of my quirks and faults, and loved me because of them. I would lose her, and I knew she was losing me too.

"So that's it? Just like that? You're breaking up with me? Breaking my heart? Just leaving me because your 'heart wants something new' and you want me to be your friend? How would I do that Edward? Should we double date? Or do you want to call me and tell me all about your new girlfriend? NO! If your heart wants something new it can have it. A new girlfriend AND a new best friend because you can't do this to me and expect me to just stick by your side. I don't want new; I don't need 'normal experiences' I need you, you Edward. But obviously somehow since last night, you have decided you don't need me anymore. Fine! If that's what you want, you can have it. Take it and run with it and have fun. Just don't come running back to me when you realize you gave up everything on a whim."

I didn't know what to do. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I wanted to break it gently, to tell her without her getting mad. For us to be able to talk, not for her to hate me. But who am I kidding? I am leaving her empty, without her best friend, and broken. Of course she hates me, she should.

"Tanya… please…" I said as she approached the front door. "I can't lose you like this" I cried.

"You already lost me. Goodbye Edward" and she disappeared behind the door.

BPOV

Jacob was holding me, I was crying and my world was crumbling around me. I didn't know if I should tell him tonight. I thought about it for quite a while. Calming down in the mean time but he never let me go.

Finally I decided to do it know. I had already started it, the emotions where already everywhere, so I might as well finish it. No use in prolonging it any more. Because every second with this weight was excruciating and felt like a lifetime. So tonight I would do it. I would break up with him, and he would beg me not to. I just needed to keep thinking about Edward, about holding his hands, about his delicious unique smell of leather and soap and rain. Edward… I kept telling myself to just think about Edward and I would get through this somehow.

Some time had passed and we were still entangled on my bed, although the rocking had stopped. I looked up at Jacob to judge his expression and without warning he kissed me. My first reaction was to pull away, I actually felt like I was cheating on Edward, but then I wanted to kiss Jake, I wanted one more kiss with him. Maybe it was selfish, and it certainly was leading him on, but I needed it. Just one more moment, one more memory before I shattered everything.

He kissed my lips hard. Harder than he had ever kissed me before. He kept his arms tightly around me, never moving them, never letting up on his grip. We just kissed. It wasn't romantic or sweet, it didn't turn me on, it was desperate.

He knew something was wrong and he wanted so badly to make it better that he would do just about anything. This kiss was evidence of that. We continued kissing, only barely allowing our tongues to touch, but never allowing our lips to not touch.

I finally pulled away when I had enough strength to say what I needed to say. "I am sorry Jacob. I am so so sorry" I told him. At first he looked confused but at some point he looked scared and sad.

"Your going to break up with me aren't you Bells?" he asked, knowing what was coming.

I started crying again but tried to talk anyways. "Jacob, I am so sorry, please… please don't hate me… I love you I need you please…."

"Are you Bella? Are you ending it?" He asked again, getting more determined.

I could only nod my head. But when I did his face fell. His heart broke, I could tell.

"Why Bella, why are you doing this? Please Bella, I am so sorry if I have done something. Is this about last night? I am so sorry if you felt pressured, if you ever felt pressured Bella, I just love you and God, you are so beautiful and I just wanted to be closer to you and I am so sorry…" while he was talking his hands were moving frantically, as if they were physical examples of how his heart was beating. He would stroke my hair then grip my wrist, then he would hold them up not sure where to put them before rubbing my arms.

"Jake, you didn't do anything. I love you too and last night was wonderful and I have never felt pressure from you. I don't know how to explain it though… I am just so sorry." I somehow spit out in between gasps of air.

"If I didn't do anything, if it isn't because of last night, then what? Then what was last night? How do you go from that to this? I don't understand Bella, where did this come from? Please baby, tell me what's going on, I am sure we can figure it out, we can fix it, I know we can. We have to cause I can't be without you, I can't live without you. Please…" he was scaring me… I knew that 'I can't live without you' was an expression but just the way he said it. No, Jacob would never be that selfish… I knew that. But we couldn't fix it. My heart belonged to Edward now, and I couldn't change that. To be honest I didn't want to change it because Edward woke my heart and I didn't even know it was asleep.

"You can't fix it Jake, there isn't anything to fix. I still love you. You are still my best friend and I hope that eventually, after some time, we can still be best friends. You will always have a very special place in my life and in my heart. But I have to do this." I began telling him and he just sat there shaking his head no. I knew he wouldn't take this easy, that he would do anything to talk me out of it or change my mind. He loves me; he would do anything in his power to not lose me.

"Please stop Jake, please just…" and I put my hands on the sides of his head, stopping it from moving. I needed him to open up to this. I didn't want him not listening, just denying it. Next thing would be him with his fingers in his ears chanting 'I can't hear you'.

He stopped and exhaled. He look exhausted, he looked beat.

"Why Bells, why?" was all he kept saying, over and over again.

"Jake… our time together, it has been so fun and meant so much to me. I will never forget it. Hopefully someday we can somehow make more memories together, but if you don't ever feel we can I would understand. But I have to do this. I don't want to be a cheesy cliché' but it isn't about you, some stuff with me has changed and I am not the same. My heart is different now." I tried to explain without bringing up Edward, I hoped I would be able to.

"Your heart is different but you say you still love me. You still want me in your life but you are breaking up with me. I am so confused. You are contradicting yourself so much. Please tell me what is going on?"

I really, really didn't want to have to tell him about Edward, but I didn't see any other way, and I also refused to lie to him, so I was going to have to tell him something involving Edward but I wanted it to be as little as possible.

"Jacob… do you believe I love you?" I started. He just simply said "Yeah, I do" and I continued.

"Good because I do. It has never been my plan or intention to hurt you. I thought we would spend forever together this happy. I mean I moved more than 1500 miles to a state I am not particularly fond of, leaving my mom and starting my high school career all over again in a new school just to be with you. I do love you, so much. You have been by my side, we survived six months apart purely on love. I thought this was everything. That our love was perfect. And I think for us it is. But now I know we just aren't meant to be together forever." I was still crying but just barely. I was mostly afraid of even speaking Edward's name in this conversation.

"You know? You know we aren't meant to be? How could you possibly know that? How Bella? Cause my heart tells me that you are it. That you are my one, my it girl, so tell me how you know that I am not your one? Please cause I need to know what to do, how to change for you." He implored.

"Jake, listen to me, please. There isn't anything you can do because it isn't anything you have done. I really didn't want to tell you this, because I know how much it is going to hurt but…" he interrupted me.

"Who Bella? Who are you leaving me for?" he knew, he caught on and I hated it.

"How did you… Jake? I really don't want to name names. I am so sorry." I started crying harder again now. I can't believe this is all playing out like this. We were now both sitting on my bed, facing each other, about three or so feet apart. Our bodies no longer touching at all, our body language was a perfect picture of our relationship. Separate, distant, over.

"You don't want to drop names? What is this a bad Hollywood party? You're cheating on me and you won't even have enough dignity to tell me who you're cheating with?" He was getting a little angry. I can't believe he thinks I would ever cheat on him. I was actually hurt.

"I'm not cheating, I would never" I whispered, unable to speak louder because all the pain was crushing me.

"What?" I guess he didn't hear me. I hoped he would listen closer because I knew I couldn't speak up yet.

"I said I'm not cheating, that I would never cheat on you." I was right, not even close to being louder.

"How can there be another guy if you're not cheating?" he questioned me.

"There is another guy, but I haven't done so much as even kiss him. I have only talked to him." Still quiet but getting better.

"So there is some guy, that you barely know, whom you haven't even kissed, that has somehow convinced you that I am not your true love?" He really knew how to hit the nerves in me that hurt.

"Jacob, there is someone, but he did no convincing, he has done nothing wrong. He has only been my friend so please, I am the one who decided, and it was my heart that did this. Only my heart and I am sorry."

"It was your heart? What the Hell is that supposed to mean Bells? I am so scared, I really don't understand. There has to be something I can do, some way to fix this?" His voice was going back to scared and desperate and he just wouldn't accept it, I had figured that would be his response.

"Jacob…" I said in my exhale, just completely at a loss for what to say or do next. I have never broken up with anyone; I had never even been broken up with. I had just never wanted to commit myself to a guy until I met Jake. I was going in blind here, and I needed help. I again, needed my best friend.

At that thought I fell apart. I started crying so deeply, just crying from my soul, all the way through to my toes. I couldn't stop to save myself and I needed to. I shouldn't be crying. I was the villain here not the victim. I was the one doing the hurting, I was hurting him. I guess I hadn't really understood how much this would hurt me too. But now I would say that hurt is an understatement. It was completely ripping me to shreds. So what was it doing to Jacob?

I sat there, hysterical, coughing, not even caring about my tears and the wetness they were creating. Jacob just watched me. I could tell he wanted to grab me, to hold me again and fix it, but he probably didn't know if he was allowed anymore. My tears just kept coming, without reserve, pooling at the bottoms of my cheeks until finally falling and making the lavender of my blanket turn to a deep purple. My body was shaking, almost convulsing, and finally my stomach started knotting. I ran to the bathroom and got sick. I let the process of throwing up break me out of my crying fit before returning to my room. When I finally stood, willing myself to return to the mess I made, I turned and promptly crashed into Jacob. He had wet a washcloth and was gently wiping my face. He took my hand and led me to my room where he motioned for me to sit back on the bed while he sat in my desk chair. But not before turning the chair around so we could be eye to eye.

"Bella… I can tell how torn up you are about this." He was speaking calmer now, with more understanding. "You sure you really want to do this?"

I nodded and added "need to".

"Sure sure" he said in classic Jacob fashion. He just looked numb now. Maybe like he thought this was all a nightmare and when he wakes up all will be ok. In this moment, I almost wished the same, even though that would mean sacrificing Edward. Almost.

He just slumped, his entire person slumped. His back folded down, like it couldn't support any weight any longer, his face slumped into a mangled mess of sadness and despair, and all though I don't know how, I could tell his heart slumped.

"I can't believe I lost you. I can't believe I can't touch you, or kiss you ever again. I just can't…" He said with the saddest voice I had ever heard. It made me think about Charlie and Renee. How Charlie must have felt when my mom left him. "Can you please tell me his name? I just really need to know who stole your heart from me."

"Edward Cullen" again barely audible.

"Thank you Bells." He was sincere. We sat for a few more minutes in silence.

"Jake… is there any way… that we could… ever…?" I couldn't even ask him. I felt as though I was asking for something I completely didn't deserve.

"I just… Bells, I will never be able to get over you. I love you more than anything and I just can't have only a part of you, at least not now. I don't even know how to move, how to stand and begin walking because my heart is so shattered. I'm sorry. I hope you made the right decision. I hope you chose wisely, but most of all I hope above all hopes that you are happy. If that can't be with me…" He stopped talking and I saw one lone tear fall down his cheek. "I love you enough to let you go so you can be happy." He finally said and then he stood and walked over to me. He stopped in front of me and waited a minute for something.

"Bye Bells" and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

And with that Jacob was gone. One chaste kiss and my world was turned around. Two words and my best friend was no longer my best friend.

I sat in my room for what felt like the whole night. I was frozen. I was numb and only one thought went through my mind. "I need my best friend and I just lost him" I hope I did choose wisely because my life walked out that door.

After coming to a bit I thought of Edward. I knew how I felt about him. And somehow, I even felt like he was now my best friend. I knew very little about him, and he knew the same amount about me, but our hearts were forever connected. This kind of automatically makes him my best friend. I went to grab my cell to call him before remembering I had never gotten his number. I suppose I could ask Charlie for it but since Jake just had to walk past him to leave, I am sure he knew and it would look very bad if I was I was asking for another guy's number.

I do however, know where he lives. I grabbed my jacket and keys and sprinted down the stairs. I was going to go to his house until I saw a clock. It was the middle of the night. Fuck it, I just ruined the best relationship I had in my life for him, if he was sleeping he was going to wake up and start filling the role of my new best friend because I needed him. I slipped on some lace less shoes, pulled my jacket on and quietly opened the door. I turned around to lock the door and then started down the path to my truck. I wasn't looking up, I was looking around for people, making sure no neighbors would see me and be able to tell my dad. I then crashed into someone, someone who caught me. I looked up and it was Edward.

What was he doing here? We moved closer to my house to see each other in the light from the porch. He looked like I felt, his face was puffy, his eyes swollen, his hair going in every direction, and he looked exhausted. He seemed to be examining me at the same time and we both must have come to the same conclusion. We both ended our relationships tonight. We both were broken.

Taking a large inhale he said "Hi Bella" and I said hi back, not able to break his gaze into my eyes.

"I know it's late, and I debated not coming over, but I hoped you would still be up and it looks like you had the same idea?" he phrased it as a question. I nodded.

"You did it too?" also a question from him and again I nodded.

"You ok?" he asked with a very concerned face and voice.

"No, are you?" I replied.

"No… but I am a lot better now, here with you" he told me. His statement got me looking inward to see if I felt the same and indeed I did. The emptiness was completely gone, just a lot of sadness and guilt left over.

"Me too." I admitted.

"It was the hardest thing I have ever done" I offered him, just needing to talk about it. This time he nodded, not in acknowledgment but in agreement.

"Bella" When he said my name I looked directly into his eyes, "I love you" he finished. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Hearing Edward say that, hearing my name and a confession of love come from his mouth reminded me why I just went through hell.

"I love you too Edward" I gladly confessed my love too.

"Then it will be all right, we have each other now so it will be better, I promise." He assured me but he didn't need to because I was already thinking the same thing.

No more words were said in that moment. We were standing there in the yellow light of my porch, exactly in the middle of the doorway, surrounded by nothing but darkness and love.

And it was in that moment I forgot about everything else, about everyone else. The stain of tonight was still on my heart but I did not think of Jacob at all. I lost myself in my new love. He lost himself in me. We were just in each other's arms, our eyes locked into the other's, and our breath filling the space between us with white frost.

"Bella" Edward whispered, as he leaned into me and placed his lips on mine without moving anymore. He was using his lips to ask permission. "Yes Edward?" I managed to say, somehow resisting giving into his lips on mine and not kissing him. "May I?" he asked, always a perfect gentleman, that I had noticed. But he did not wait for my answer before pressing his lips harder against mine and slowly beginning to move them in motion with me. It was everything I had been waiting for my entire life. I didn't know it until that moment but it was the most absolute thing I had ever experienced. It made my heart race and my face blush, but it made my soul fly and it completed me. I tried to figure out how I had gone my entire life without this. Kissing Edward felt as natural as filling my lungs with air or allowing my heart to beat and it answered every question I had been asking myself tonight. Yes I did choose wisely because I chose the person who was created by God to be my other half. I knew I could never live without him now. My heart needed him to beat.

We would figure out Jacob and Tanya, we would figure each other out, and school and life. We would work through it all together and nothing could ever be more right.

All though it is as simple as can be, this kind of love is rarely found. And with it, together, we would survive anything.

"Bella?" he said through kisses.

"Hmm?" I managed to reply.

Edward pulled away, so I could see how serious what he was about to say was. His face looked relaxed and happy and excited. He took the sides of my face in his hands, leaned in to be as close as possible while still allowing me to look into his eyes and he spoke.

"I want to make love to you"

So what did you think? Review please. Hope you all enjoyed it. Much love… *Autumn*