Tails cautiously poised his fist in front of the door. It was Marine's door, actually. He had his suitcase packed, his plane tickets and passport tucked in his back pocket, and his sanity some-what still intact. He was ready to go to Downunda with Marine Raccoon.

He was cautious, though, about knocking on the door. Sure, this was the last girl he had that was even remotely still interested in dating him. And, yes, he would be happy to be rid of all the awkward and crazy fan girls. But something inside him was making him reconsider.

Marine was it. Who else was there, now?

Cream used to be it. She was quiet and pleasant, and seemed to take a liking to Tails when they first met. He naturally assumed that one day or another, the two would start dating. He didn't know if it would work out, but Sonic and Amy would shove him into the relationship, nonetheless.

Then Fiona was it. Ah, dear, sweet Fiona. Fiona had been the one that Tails had fallen for whenever he decided to go out on his own, but he soon discovered that she was a robot. When things began to work out, and the real Fiona started dating Sonic, Tails could only dream of the day that they would hook up.

Then Cosmo was it. Everyone aboard the X Tornado knew without a shadow of a doubt that Tails and Cosmo would start dating. Tails cared deeply for the alien, and Cosmo did the same for him. Whenever the universe was at stake and the planet needed to be destroyed, Tails couldn't bear to lose her. Luckily, the seed appeared, and eventually gave 'birth' to the new Cosmo, which was the very being that he had paired with his anti form.

But now they were gone. And Marine was all he had.

Sure, the raccoon wasn't his perfect idea of a date. She was loud. She was bossy. She was sometimes obnoxious. She spoke with that ridiculous and obviously fake accent. Then again…she at least wasn't angry at him. Tails didn't have to lock his door at night to make sure she didn't get in and try to kill him for pairing her up with some stranger she wasn't fond of and/or hated.

So, it was when Marine opened the door to her house/giant ship that was bobbing awkwardly in the sea that Tails began to reconsider all the things he had done.

"Hey, mate!" she greeted cheerfully, pulling a suitcase behind her. "Ready ta get th' motor runnin'?"

Tails assumed that this meant "Want to get going?" The fox pondered a moment, trying to think of something to put his mind at ease.

While he was thinking (which was making Marine confused), Marine looked over his shoulder and frowned. "Er, mate? Oi thought ya said that we weren't travellin' with th' other sheilas."

"Huh?" Tails snapped from his thoughts. "We aren't. Why?"

"Well, then why are they runnin' towards us, madder 'n a pack of hornets?"

Tails' pupils dilated. He felt a bead of sweat crawl down his neck as he slowly turned around. Oh dear. This didn't look good at all.

Approaching Tails and Marine were Cosmo, Cream, and Fiona. All three looked very, very angry. Fiona's red tail was poofed out, Cream's tiny fists were quivering with fury, and Cosmo wore an expression that could throttle somebody if looks could kill.

"Hey, buddy," Fiona said sarcastically, pausing in front of Tails. She crossed her arms. "Does THIS look familiar to you?"

The red fox held out a sheet of paper she had printed off the internet. Tails nervously took it and realized much to his horror that it was her eHarmony profile. "Uh…no?" he squeaked.

Cream sneered and handed him another sheet of paper that was her profile. "Gosh, really?" she asked. "Because this happens to look a lot like hers does."

"And this," Cosmo snapped, holding out her profile.

Tails shakily glanced from one sheet to the next. He realized that each profile did happen to look pretty similar. I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdead… he recited in his brain.

Marine studied the scene with curiosity in her blue eyes. Then she narrowed them and slammed her suitcase down on the dock. "Oi, then 'r we goin' ta Downunda just cuz some geezer requested to on MY profile?" she demanded, stomping around the fox and joining the others.

Tails stared at all of their furious faces. Why couldn't a black hole just swallow him up right then and there?

Finally, he just broke down and slumped to his knees. "I'm sorry!" he cried, begging for mercy. "It was just too much! The whining, the cooing, the nagging, the mooching…I couldn't take it! I'm just a BOY, for crying out loud!"

Cream started to get a little nervous and hid slightly behind Cosmo's skirt. Fiona's gaze turned a little softer. Marine's pupils widened at his pathetic display, and Cosmo's angry frown had turned into a sad frown.

"He's so CUTE!"

Tails' head shot up and he opened his eyes. "WHAT?!" he demanded, and was cut off as all the girls 'aww'ed' around him. Fiona squealed.

"Don't do that, Tails! I can't take it! It's just so adorable when you pout!"

Tails stared absently at the red fox. "It's…'cute'…when I…pout." I wasn't even pouting, I was begging for mercy!

Cosmo held out her hand to Tails, her anger already dissolving. "Come on, get up here," she said. Tails accepted and stood up, still wearing a bewildered expression.

Cream's eyes turned very big. "Tails, you could have just asked us to back off a little," she suggested, her voice high.

"Yeah, mate," Marine put in. "It wasn't very fair o' us ta drag ya in th' middle of our duke-fest, was it?"

Tails stared funnily at the younger of the two. Well, that was rather logical for a couple of nine-year-olds.

Cosmo grinned at the orange fox. "Yeah, what Marine said," she said. "We're sorry. We understand why you did what you did, I guess."

Fiona smirked and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, kid." Then her eyes turned bitter again. "But we're still kind of mad."

"I figured that," Tails chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Snap, I'm not off the hook yet! Then he remembered something and looked curiously at Cosmo, Cream and Fiona. "Speaking of which, how come you guys left your, um…dream dates?"

Fiona's eyes narrowed. "Scourge hasn't changed a bit!" she spat. "After you left, we went back to his place only to find Alicia, Buns and Rosy in his apartment! I was so angry that I walked out right then and there, not wanting to hear any more of his pathetic excuses."

"Well, Charmy…" Cream began, closing her eyes and chuckling in amusement for a moment. "He can, well, wear on your nerves after a little while. His voice gets a little grating…sometimes. And then he was going to take me to meet up with the Chaotix again, so I ran away. Luckily I had Mother's credit card, so I bought another plane ticket and flew back home."

Tails raised an eyebrow. "Your mom gave you her credit card?"

Cream chuckled. "Gave…borrowed…all the same thing."

Cosmo rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "Honestly, Tails, I can see why Miles is your anti version. He's absolutely nothing like you! He's greedy, full of himself, selfish, bossy, rude, and just plain not a good person to hang around with."

Tails scuffed his shoe. "I'm really sorry, everyone," he apologized again. Marine crossed her arms and gave him a mean look.

"Yer lucky yer didn't take me on a 'vacation', mate," she informed. Tails chuckled sheepishly again, blushing.

"I guess I am."

Tails then grinned and looked around at all the girls, who seemed to be in a happier mood. "Right, then I guess this is all worked out then, right?" he said, hoping that the whole matter would draw to an end. Everyone nodded and grabbed a part of Tails.

"Yeah, you're coming home with me!" they all said in unison, walking in different directions. Tails winced as his body was pulled in four different directions, and each of the girls stopped abruptly and turned around to stare at each other.

"And just what do you mean by that?" they all growled at the same time before leaping into a chick fight, complete with pulling hair, screaming, and scratching.

Tails stared at the heap of girls before turning around and walking away slowly, sighing.

Girls.

Don't worry guys…it's not over yet…