Chapter 5: Fighting for Life

"No," James said flatly, staring down at his wife.

Lily glared back at him, fury etched in her face.

"It's not your choice," she said hotly.

"No," James repeated.

They stood at opposite ends of their kitchen, glaring at one another. Lily was bound and determined that she was well enough to go back to work at the Auror Department. Alice had told her that she would be well enough as soon as the magic had all been excreted from her body. Lily hadn't felt any magic release in two days, but she still felt occasional twinges of pain in her stomach. She was convinced that these pains were merely after-shocks and that the magic had dissipated. James, on the other hand, was equally convinced that she was not well and needed to stay home.

"I'm going back to work, and there is nothing you can do to stop me," Lily said fiercely.

"You wanna bet?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's my body, James! I think I can tell perfectly well when it is healed, thank you very much," Lily snapped, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Oh, really?" James asked, feigning surprise. "You've stopped having pains, then, have you?"

"Yes," Lily lied firmly. Unfortunately for her, a sharp, white-hot pain bubbled up in her stomach at that very moment. Lily screwed up her face against the pain, doubling over and clutching her stomach.

James rushed across the room, grabbing her forearms and balancing her. He carefully lowered her to the floor, sitting and pulling her into his lap.

"Shh," he whispered. "It's okay, love." A few tears leaked from the corners of Lily's eyes, but she brushed them away furiously. She started to cough, feeling the rush of red smoke make its way through her body until it spurted out of her mouth.

Lily started to get up, but was weakened from the magic and fell back against James' arms.

"I hate this," she said, furiously, failing to quell the tears that spilled onto her cheeks.

"I know, Lilyflower," James replied gently, holding her close. "But don't you see why I don't want you going back to work? I mean, what if this happens on the battlefield, huh? You could be killed."

"James, I work for the Auror Department and am a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I could be killed anytime I step out of the house," Lily said, bitterly.

"Yeah, well, I certainly don't want to increase the chances, do you?" James asked. Lily didn't answer, but winced as another smaller pain coursed through her. James sighed. "Hey," he said softly, gently bringing a hand to her face and turning it to face him. "Are you mad at me?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers.

"Yes," Lily replied.

"Oh, c'mon, don't be mad," James said. He shifted on the floor, leaning up against the counter and pulling her with him, so that they sat on the floor, facing each other. "You love me," he stated, with the air of pointing out the obvious.

"Oh, yeah?" Lily retorted, feeling some of her resolve to stay mad begin to melt away.

"Most definitely. Or at least, that's what the saucy red-headed wench who made love to me last night said," James said, waggling his eyebrows.

Lily blushed.

"You love me," he repeated, standing and holding out his hand to her. Lily sighed, allowing him to pull her up and into his arms. They kissed softly. "I knew it," James said in mock triumph, grinning down at her. Lily couldn't help but giggle.

"Cheeky bastard," she muttered. James laughed, too.

"Fight over?" he asked a moment later, suddenly serious.

Lily nodded.

"Fight over." James kissed her again, much more deeply, and she wrapped her arms around his neck for balance.

"Mm," James said as they broke apart. "There's that saucy wench again." Lily laughed into his mouth as he kissed her again, gently tugging at her hand to pull her upstairs to bed.

Lily and James finally reached an agreement about her health. Lily would return to work, but not be allowed to leave Auror Headquarters during her shifts. She would do paperwork and train to get back in shape, but she was not to do actual battle or go out on information-seeking missions, or any other sort of mission, until she was truly back to full health.

Lily had not readily agreed to this plan, still convinced that she would be better in a day or so and was more than capable of returning to work at full status. However, Moody had finally talked her into coming back under this temporary status when he had threatened to dock her pay if she didn't do as she was told and stay away from anything dangerous.

Since the department had hired so many new trainees in recent months, salaries of Aurors had been greatly reduced, and Lily and James were having trouble making ends meat as it was, without anyone's pay being docked. They were a far cry from starving on the streets, but money was tight enough for them both to be very concerned with Moody's threat.

Lily was discouraged with how out of shape she was after a more than a month spent in bed. She spent most of her time on duty in the training field, trying to build up more strength. She ran twenty laps around the field each day and dueled with anyone who would take her on. She was slow and lost half of the duels she fought. She hated it, hated feeling weak and useless. Sirius was usually her partner, but they had been temporarily reassigned until Lily was back on full status. Sirius was partnering Frank because Gideon was away on some sort of top-secret assignment that no one was allowed to talk about. James usually partnered Remus, but Remus was away because of the Full Moon, so James was partnering Emmeline, and Lily was left with Fabian. Basically, Fabian stayed inside and pushed paper, while Lily stayed at the Training Field all day.

Lily was alone in the Training Field, running her fifteenth lap of the day when James came to find her. He looked positively irate.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted at her from across the field.

"I'm... running...laps," Lily gasped. James started to run towards her, trying to catch her up, but Lily was still faster than he was.

James drew his wand, pointing it at her and muttered, "Impedimenta." Lily was forced to stop in her tracks as James ran over to her.

"Take the spell off," she said, her voice a deadly hiss.

"Not until you listen to me," James replied, his voice just as deadly. "I was just talking to Fabian Prewitt. Would you like to hear what he told me?" James didn't wait for an answer, but plunged on, his voice growing louder. "He told me that you have been out here training at all hours of the day, when you're supposed to be on a light workload, pushing paper. Or, at least, that's what you told me you were doing. But, no, apparently, you've been here training six hours a day until you drop!" James paused, forcing himself to breathe. "I can't believe you! Why are you doing this to yourself? You've just been released from the hospital with the worst case of Crucio Renovo that's been seen in over a decade!" James moved closer so his face was right next to hers. "If you don't stop acting this way, you're gonna kill yourself," he snapped. As he finished these words, the power of his jinx wore off and Lily fell into him.

She pushed herself away quickly. "I am not weak," she said firmly.

"No one's ever said you were," James replied, slightly taken aback.

"Bullshit," Lily replied. James stared at her as if she had lost her mind. "You think they don't all say it behind our backs?" Lily asked him. "Everyone thinks I'm just some poor little weak mudblood who only got into the department because her pureblood husband pulled some strings. I can do this job, James! I know that I can, but no one gives me a chance! Even Sirius-"

"That's enough," James said firmly. "Look at yourself. Listen to what you're saying? Do you know how paranoid and insane you sound?" he asked her. Lily only glared back at him. "I'm going to Moody," James said, turning away.

"No, James!" Lily shouted, rushing to catch up with him. "I'll be fired!"

"Yeah, well maybe that's what it takes!" James shouted back, turning to her again. "What else do you want me to do, Lil? Do you really expect me to just stand here and watch you work yourself to death? What, do you?" He raised his hands, shrugging his shoulders. Lily looked away from him, and James softened. "You won't listen to Alice, you won't listen to Fabian, and you sure as hell won't listen to me, so let's just see if you'll listen to Moody." He turned and walked away from her, and Lily stood in the middle of the field, staring after him.

When James returned to the field with Moody, nearly an hour later, Lily was locked in a fierce duel with Sirius. They dueled in a mere flash of light, color, and sound, spells flying everywhere as they were deflected. James and Moody watched for a moment, transfixed, until Lily finally cried "Stupefy!" catching Sirius off-guard. Lily kicked his fallen wand away, and muttered "Renervate." Sirius stood, dusting himself off. He held out his hand for Lily to shake, but she was already facing him, wand brandished, ready to fight. "Again," she said.

"C'mon, Lily. I'm beat," Sirius said. He did look a bit worse for wear, his long hair sweaty as it hung down in his eyes.

"Again," Lily repeated, more insistently. Sirius looked round and saw Moody and James on the other side of the field. He started to back away from Lily quite quickly when he saw the look in James' eyes. His best friend was furious. Lily followed Sirius' gaze. She saw James and Moody, and her attention immediately snapped back to Sirius. "Again," she hissed.

"No." This time it was not Sirius who spoke, but Moody. He was drawing nearer, brandishing his own wand. "Come on, then, Potter," he said gravely. "If you want to duel, you'll duel with me."

"Moody, what-?" James started, but Moody held a hand back, waving it to quiet him.

"Fine," Lily said, turning her wand on Moody and bowing low. Moody returned her bow, never letting his eyes leave hers. They started to duel, and, within seconds, Lily was flat on her back, Moody's wand at her throat. He held out a hand to help her up, but Lily shoved it away angrily, hoisting herself to her feet. "Again," she snapped. They began to duel again with the same result. "Again." Moody complied. They dueled five times, and by the end of this, Lily was sporting a bad cut on her lip.

"Moody," James said, uncertainly, starting to step forward.

"Stay out of it," Lily and Moody snarled at him together. James to took two hasty steps backwards. He was starting to regret his decision to involve Alastor, who seemed intent upon teaching Lily her lesson. 'If I don't do something soon, she's going to get seriously hurt', he thought.

Lily was on the ground again, but sprung to her feet, breathing heavily. "Again." They began to duel. Suddenly, the same white-hot flash of pain erupted in Lily's stomach, and she screamed, falling to the ground once more.

When Lily awoke, she wasn't able to see anything. Everything around her was pitch black. Her senses seemed to be melded strangely together. She could hear, and she could feel, but her sight was gone. She felt something warm pressed against one of her hands. When she finally did manage to open her overly heavy eyelids, she saw James, sitting next to her bed, holding her hand. As she looked at him, she watched the emotions fly across his face: from worry, to surprise, to elation, to relief in a matter of seconds.

"Thank Merlin," he breathed after a moment, squeezing her hand and peering down at her.

"Where are we?" Lily asked, her voice soft and dry.

"St. Mungo's," James replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," Lily answered truthfully. She felt weak and achy all over, but her mind was beginning to focus more clearly.

James rubbed his face tiredly.

"I thought you were..." he started to say, but trailed off, a lump in his throat. He tried again. "I thought you we-were dead." He couldn't stop the tears of relief that stung at his eyes, and he leaned down, gently kissing Lily's cold lips.

"Dead?" Lily asked as he pulled away, hastily wiping his eyes on his sleeves.

"Yes, dead," James replied, looking sharply at her. "Damn, don't you realize how serious this is? I really thought I'd lost you," he said, choking up again. James was scared, more scared than he could ever remember being in his life. Lily was seriously sick, and she truly had been on the brink of death when they brought her to the hospital.

"I'm sorry," Lily whispered. James' obvious fear and despair made the situation much more real to her. Before, he had been angry and frustrated, but, now, she could see that he was truly afraid of what she was doing to herself. She had behaved like a child, and she was ashamed of herself.

James pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead and rocking her. "It's all right, love," he said softly into her ear. "You'll be fine."

Lily was released the next day. Alice had been furious with her for pushing herself to such a dangerous level. "What you thought you were doing, I'll never understand!" she had fumed. Alice had also warned her that her situation with Crucio Renovo was worsened. During her duel with Moody, Lily had channeled too much powerful magic, which had reacted badly with the magic that Crucio Renovo still kept stored inside her body. It was now a possibility that Lily would never completely recover.

After a night of drinking foul potions and resting, Lily felt much better. She and James lie in their bed that night, holding onto one another.

"James?"

"What is it, love?" he answered sleepily.

"I really am sorry," Lily murmured. James sighed.

"I know you are," he said, shifting to look into her eyes. "It's all right. I just can't understand what got into you," he added. Her behavior had been strange and erratic over the past week. It reminded him forcibly of the time when she had gotten a concussion at Hogwarts and had taken a potion which made her overreact emotionally to everything.

"I don't know," Lily replied honestly. "I just...I had this insane urge to prove myself to everyone. It felt like I wasn't good enough, like everyone was putting me down, even you. I don't know." Lily buried her face into his neck, and James held her tightly. He sighed again, rubbing her back.

There was a lot that he still didn't know about his wife, or about magic. All he knew was that if they stayed together to fight, they would be strong enough to overcome all evils.

A/N: I know, I know: You're all shocked that I actually wrote a Lily and James fight scene. It kinda surprised me, too! Anyway, I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter, and that it helped to bring an edge back into the story.

Hope you liked this one! If you did, let me know. How? Look down. Nope, just a little further. There we go. See that little box. The one that says "Submit Review"? Move over to the right just a little bit. Now click on the box that says "Go". Very good. Now type whatever you feel like typing. I don't care if you just say "This was a stupid story. I hate it." or (hopefully) "Cute story. I liked it!"

Love from

Lyny Angell