Chapter 8: Party All Night Long

James was determined that this party would be the biggest blowout bash anyone had been to since his and Lily's wedding. He checked with Dumbledore, asking for a good date to throw a party after an Order meeting, and the party was set for two weeks later. That didn't leave a terrible amount of time for throwing a blowout bash, but James was sure he could accomplish it.

True to her word, Lily didn't lift a finger to help, not that James would have let her help if she had wanted to. Her health, according to Alice, was probably as good as it was going to get. It didn't appear that Lily would ever recover completely from Crucio Renovo, but her symptoms were much less pronounced. She was still fatigued more easily than she had been before, and she still suffered occasional pains in her stomach, but other than that, she was basically back to normal.

Planning the party around their crazy and hectic work schedules was proving quite difficult for James, so he had enlisted the help of the Marauders. Remus was in charge of the menu, Sirius was in charge of finding music for dancing, and Peter was left to decorations (they assumed that, at least, this, he could not possibly mess up).

Lily and James' work schedules were hectic, but they both enjoyed the work. Lily couldn't talk about her job very much, considering that it was all secret missions and assignments. She had been deployed on several overnight missions, which always made James uneasy. He wanted to be with her, wanted to protect her. Lily always returned the next day or the day after, unharmed, well pleased with the job she had done, unable to give James any of the details he craved.

"Come on!" he begged as Lily returned home after two days on assignment. "I live vicariously through you. All I do is profiles and background checks and paperwork."

"You do more than that. I heard there was a battle last night," Lily replied.

"A small one, no casualties on either side. They apparated away as soon as they realized they were outnumbered."

James loved the action of battles, the adrenaline rush. He knew Lily's job was bound to be just as exciting, and although he knew that he was still a superb dueler and that his job was also very important, his professional envy drove him insane. Lily was patient with him, understanding that he didn't like his job. She knew how important it had been to him to become an Auror, like his father, and how hurt he had been when he had been assigned to the Information Sector.

As often as Lily explained that her job wasn't truly that fascinating, James remained sulky and jealous. Lily leaned over and kissed him softly.

"I'm going to start dinner." she said. James sighed.

"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?" he said.

"James, I can't and you know it," Lily replied, simply, not wanting to start the argument again. James ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, and Lily went into the kitchen to make supper.

The evening of the party, Dumbledore cut the meeting short and everyone moved to the basement of Potter Manor, where Sirius and Remus had spent most of the day setting up. Remus had found a fabulous caterer, and the food, which consisted of the typical vegetable and fruit trays and crackers with dip, as well as hamburgers, hot dogs, and a Greek salad with fabulous dressing, was set out along tables surrounding the room. Not only had Emily offered her home for the party, but she had insisted upon paying for the food, too, saying it was her gift to them for Lily's recovery.

It was very dark inside, but Sirius had hung a muggle disco ball (he ended up being in charge of decorations too because Peter hadn't been able to come to the party). There were flashing lights and bouncing disco music filling the room.

James and Lily entered the room first, hand-in-hand. Lily laughed when she saw how perfect the whole room looked and turned to face her husband.

"This is wonderful, James!" she said, yelling over the music. He grinned.

"It's all for you, Lilyflower!" They laughed as James pulled her onto the dance floor, and they were soon surrounded by all of the younger members of the Order and many of their friends from Hogwarts. The party lasted for hours, and Sirius, who had decided to act as DJ himself, started to play some slower songs near the end, as the party was winding down.

"This one's for you, Lily and James," he said, pressing a button, so the first notes of Chicago's "Color My World" began to play.

Lily and James were sitting at a table, drinking and watching their friends dance as the party started to wind down. James set down his beer and took Lily's wine glass, holding out his hands to her. They walked to the dance floor together.

James gently took her hands, twining their fingers together. Lily smiled up at him as they started to sway to the music. Then she closed her eyes, leaning her head against his chest. James moved his arms, wrapping one around her waist as they swayed. Lily clasped her hands behind his neck. As the lyrics started, James sang softly in her ear,

"As time goes on I realize

Just what you mean to me

And now, now that you're near

Promise you love

That I've waited to share

And dreams of our moments together

Color my world with hope of loving you."

James was a decent singer, which Lily knew from his presentation at their wedding reception, but she rarely got to hear him sing. It was sweet and romantic, his lips moving against her ear, singing so softly that only she could hear him.

As the song ended, James gently lifted his wife's chin, kissing her softly, still swaying to the music around them. They were totally and completely lost in each other, in their own little world. When the music stopped, Lily took her husband's hand again, slipping away from their guests, pulling him into a small sitting room upstairs.

James pulled her around to face him and kissed her slowly and sensuously, assuming that this was the reason she had pulled him away.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips as he broke the kiss. She could feel his smile.

Lily smiled back.

"Let's sit," she said softly. James nodded and sat down on the sofa, pulling her onto his lap, starting to kiss her again. Lily laughed softly as she pulled away.

"No, baby," she smiled. "We have to talk," she added, a slight quaver in her voice. She knew that this was wholly unexpected, knew that he would be shocked beyond belief, but she had to tell him, had to let him know what was going on.

"About what?" James asked softly, taking her hand. He was very slightly drunk and having her this near was killing him. He wanted to kiss her at that moment and never let go; he simply wanted her.

"I have something to tell you," Lily replied softly.

"What is it, love?" James said, now more than a little curious. She was building up to something big, he could tell.

"At first, you might think that this is a bad thing, but I think that once we've had time to discuss it and think it over, we'll both be happy."

"Lily," James said, now quite serious, "Just tell me."

Lily took a deep breath, placing a hand on her stomach and looking directly into his eyes.

"I'm pregnant."

The shock in the room was palpable. James' hand, which had been squeezing hers tightly, went suddenly slack. He stared at her with a blank expression, without saying a word.

"James?" Lily said, tentatively. "Love, I said that we're going to have a baby."

He blinked, seeming to come out of a trance.

"You're sure?"

"Quite."

He sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands. "I-I can't think," he said softly. "I've got to process this. I'll see you at home," he said, standing up and walking out of the room, leaving her alone, staring after him with tears swimming in her eyes.

As James walked back downstairs, where only a few people remained, sitting at tables finishing their food and drinks or saying goodbye to other friends, Sirius was announcing the end of the party.

"This has been Siriusly Black Night, your DJ for the evening. The cute blonde in the red dress over there by the punch bowl needs to come to the booth, I have some very important numbers to exchange with her. Hope you folks have had a nice night, this is our last song or the evening. Apparate safe, don't splinch yourselves because you're too drunk to see straight." He hit play for a wizarding song by Celestina Warbeck called "The Strongest Potion is Love" and hopped down from the DJ booth. As soon as he spotted James, he could tell that something was wrong. He walked over to his friend quickly, the blonde in the red dress completely leaving his mind.

"What's up, Prongs?" he asked, putting a hand on James' shoulder.

"We need to talk," James grunted. "Grab Remus and let's get out of here, please. I-I can't deal with this." He ran his hands through his hair at rapid-fire speed.

Sirius waved Remus over and they apparated together to the pub down the street.

Lily sat alone at home in Godric's Hollow. She was curled in an armchair by the fireplace, but there was no fire burning in the grate. She held her body as close together as she could, her knees up to her chest, her face streaked with the tears she had been crying for nearly two hours. She wanted this baby. She wanted it more than almost anything, but even more she wanted James to be happy, wanted him to accept it. Sure they were young; she was only eighteen, James nineteen, but that didn't mean that they couldn't have a child, couldn't raise it in a house with love and happiness, the love and happiness that she hadn't experienced since she was twelve, until she fell in love with James.

He had to want this baby. He simply had to. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't. She certainly wasn't going to leave him. It would have been leaving a half of her soul behind, and, besides, where else did she have to go? Her other option was to have the baby aborted. Lily shuddered and sobbed harder at the very though, her hands rubbing over her stomach, where her not even a month old child lay.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so alone, so abandoned. She squeezed her swollen eyes shut, just as she had in childhood, trying to pretend that this wasn't happening. She imagined the reaction she'd wanted from James.

She told him that they were having a baby, and his shocked silence was the same, but after a moment, he smiled, that crooked grin that meant he couldn't believe what was going on. He looked at her, looked down at her stomach, then back at her face, his grin spreading. "A baby?" he asked. Lily nodded. "A baby," he repeated, still sounding amazed. He pulled her close, kissing her with so much passion and love and support that she knew whatever happened, no matter how scared and unprepared she was, he was there with her, helping her through it with his love.

But, no, this wasn't how it had happened at all. He'd left, uncertain and frightened, not having any idea how scared she was, not willing to share the burden together.

Lily curled tighter into the chair, drifting into an uneasy sleep, praying that her husband would come home and play out the scene she had imagined.

James sat, slumped on a bar stool. Moony and Padfoot had left hours ago, but he couldn't face going home, not yet. He felt like a complete and utter failure. How could he have let this happen? He asked himself the same question over and over again. They were supposed to wait. They weren't supposed to bring children into this crazy, mixed up world until the war was over, until they were old enough to protect the child.

James tapped his shot glass against the bar, indicating that he wanted another drink.

"Haven't you had about enough?" the barkeep asked.

"Nope," James replied. The barkeep sighed and refilled James glass. James took the whole shot of vodka at once, the spinning feeling and the pounding in his head reminding him what an idiot he was, how badly he'd messed up, again.

A/N: Okay, so, please don't hit me!! I'm sorry it's taken so long. Life is hectic. But, at the very least, I got a nice long chapter up for you, so please don't be too angry with me!

Oh, and don't forget to review! Please, I don't care if you just say "Cute story. I like it" or "Crappy story. I hate it" I prefer the first option, but each to his own, as long as you review.

This chapter is dedicated to my mom, in honour of Mother's Day!

I do not own the song "Color My World".

Love from

Lyny Angell