Chapter ThreeBlogSpock
Spock On: Philosophy
I've decided that I don't appreciate Dadaism. "If logic begats suffering and violence, live illogically". To use logic to justify the rejection of logic is not only illogical and hypocritical, but evidence that logic will prevail above all.
LLAP
Mr Spock
Spock On: Honesty
The Captain returned to the bridge from shore leave, and no sooner had he sat down he jumped up again.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair!" he hates for people to sit in his chair. "the seat's still warm! Who sat in my chair?"
He behaved like a barbarian trying to figure out who had been sitting in his chair while he was gone. He accused Sulu, then Chekov, then Uhura, and those three other people who work on the bridge whose names we don't know, but he didn't ask me, because he knows I know better, because I follow all the rules, even the ones that the Captian invents in fits of hysterics.
I would never sit in the Captain's chair while he was away on shore leave, let alone take a nap in it, or trim my toenails in it and stuff the clippings between the cushions, and then tell everyone on the bridge it would be unwise for them to tell the Captain; he'd never believe their word against mine. I would never do that. Still, he has a very comfortable chair.
LLAP
Mr Spock
Spock On: Staff Changes
The Starship enterprise employs approximately 430 people, but the exact number fluctuates on any given day, depending on how many security officers have died, in the field or while playing X-Treme Phaser tag (highly enjoyable, but highly irresponsible-I cannot endorse it), how many officers have gotten married, how many officers have gotten pregnant, how many officers have scorned the Captain's advances and been subsequently fire, how many officers live on the ship but don't actually turn up for work, and how many have been taken with Cabin fever and sent on vacation to recuperate. All this being said, whatever happened to Janice?
LLAP
Mr. Spock
Spock On: You Know Who
No, I am not referring to the villain in the epic novel Harry Potter and from earth's 21st century.
If you are reading this web log, you are very aware to whom I am referring, and yes, I did, as some say on earth, "hit that", but we are both consenting adults and what I do with my personal life is my own business, or rather, my own pleasure, so please fuck off about it.
LLAP
Mr Spock
Spock on: fashion
I realize that I am a tall man, and a thin man, and that Starfleet uniforms are ordered in bulk, and that it would be expensive and impractical to have each uniform tailored to fit the constantly changing staff of the Enterprise, So, when selecting my daily raiment I must forego length and comfort in favor of sexy tightness and chilly ankles, but there must be something wrong with the uniforms themselves because I am not the only one on the ship whose pants are too short.
LLAP
Mr Spock
Spock On: Spock Off
The Captain has found out that I am the one who sat in his chair. I did not tell him; I did not tell anyone, save those who read this web log, so it follows that it was one of my subscribers who told the Captain to examine the surveillance video taken of the bridge while he was on shore leave.
Faced with the evidence, I could only confess to my crime and ask that the Captain issue his justice discreetly. I know stand to receive a public spanking, as a personal humiliation (it won't work) and as a caution to anyone else thinking of sitting in the Captain's chair.
As it seems no one respects that what happens in Mr Spock's web log stays in Mr Spock's weblog, I am dismantling my web log, and now I sign off for the last time.
DLLAP
Mr Spock