"Jared, I...I think you deserve someone better. I wouldn't break up with you, but promise me...when you find the girl who will make you happy that you'll go for it," I stated, as we walked towards the bus stop. My eyes had filled with tears. I felt so worthless, so unworthy of his love.
It took a moment for me to realize that he had stopped. I turned and saw he hadn't moved with me. Curiously, I wandered over to him, and we resumed our walk to the bus stop in silence. We reached the corner and I looked him over again. To my surprise, his face was overcome with sorrow and wet with tears.
"Oh sweetie," I breathed, and I hugged him. He let out a sob.
"I never meant to hurt you," he said, his voice high and shaky. "Never...hurt you..."
"It's not your fault," I replied, my own voice raspy. "How could you every hurt me? It's not your fault that I...that I'm...I'm tainted goods!" I said, tears dripping down my own face. I held him tight. "You're not the reason I feel so bad. I...I love you Jared."
We stood there for a moment, and way too soon the bus came. "We'll talk Jared...please don't cry. I love you," I all but shouted as he boarded the bus. I could not believe that he loved me so much that he would cry over my internal pain. I could not have loved him more than at that moment.
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We reached my house, or rather what remained of it. Many buildings had been reduced to mere shadows of themselves. The buildings that remained standing stood as tired monuments to the failure of mankind.
I led him inside, no longer mindful of the door that had long been ripped off its hinges. We went up the stairs, and I did my best to ignore the remaining artifacts of what had once been my life. We entered my room, and I sat down on my old mattress, mindful of the springs that had broken through the fabric.
"This is my home..." I said, waving a hand around at the dismal surroundings. "I suppose it can be yours too...if you plan to stay."
"I'll stay. At least, until Chicago Ted moves on. Wherever he goes, I'll follow until he's dead," he stated matter-of-factly.
"I understand. Look if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to join you," I blurted. He gave me a look of incredibility.
"Why?"
"Sam was my best friend Jared! I owe it to her to at least make sure she can rest in peace. If you want to finish off that murderer, that's fine, but I want my pound of flesh too!"
"Look, I guess I can understand, but it's going to be dangerous."
"Anything is better than sitting around and crying all day and night," I retorted. Then hesistantly I added, "Besides...I don't want to be alone anymore."
He gave me a look. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you left the first time," he said coolly.
"Jared-" I started but he cut me off.
"I'm going to sleep now," he said curtly, as he dropped to the floor, and curled up.
Tears filled my eyes at his obvious rejection, but something in my rose to the challenge. Steeling myself for a possibly violent reaction, I went and laid down next to him. Then surprising even myself, I reached for him and held him in my arms.
"What are you-?" he started, but this time I cut him off.
"I told you...I don't want to be alone anymore," I said in a cutting tone. I refused to let go, even though he was stiff in my arms. Perhaps he sensed that I wasn't going to give up, so he gave in and relaxed in my arms. His grasp may not have been as warm and inviting as I remembered it, but I still felt safe nonetheless. Long we lay there, and soon we drifted off into a deep if uneasy slumber.