Chapter 3

The sounds of the city wafted through the window of Harper's bedroom stirring her from a restful slumber. As was her morning ritual before opening her eyes she mentally uttered a single, one line prayer. Lord, Give me grace. It was something she began doing in college after moving to the city, a coping mechanism of sorts. Whatever you want to call it, it always made her feel better and ready to face the day.

She stretched. It felt so good she couldn't help but smile. Her smile quickly turned into a scowl as her thoughts turned to her morning run. Over the last month and a half her morning routine had been greatly hindered by her reluctance to leave the warmth of her sleeping partner. Harper turned and looked at Jack, sleeping soundly on his stomach next to her. Her heart nearly burst every time she looked at him. She felt so lucky to have him in her life. Unenthusiastically she slid from between the sheets. The cold floor was a shock to her warm feet. She turned knowing how easily she could climb back into the cozy bed, leaning in she lightly brushed Jack's temple with her lips.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked sleepily as he grabbed her hand and tugged pulling her back to the mattress.

Harper groaned. "I'm going running."

"Running? Don't go," his voice was raspy and more persuasive than he could ever imagine. "Stay. We've got," he leaned up to look at the alarm clock, "another hour before we have to get up." He nuzzled into her neck, "Stay."

Harper's resolve began to soften. "I can't. It's Wednesday and I haven't ran once this week. I need to go, my ass is getting bigger by the second." She kissed him fully on the lips and pushed herself from the bed.

Jack grinned crookedly and eyed Harper as she changed into her workout clothes. "Looks good to me."

Harper let out a throaty laugh. "You're the devil. You know that, right?"

"Yep, El Diablo, that's me." he said dryly as he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.

Jack McCoy sat at his desk going through the pile of pink message slips between the kick-off of his campaign and the usual frenzy of One Hogan Place it seemed they were never-ending these days. When he took the position of District Attorney he'd bargained on things changing. It was time for a change, but the constant borage of people needing him for this, wanting him for that, definitely took some getting used to. He didn't loath is as much as he thought he would, but he didn't love it either. A knock on his door temporarily saved him from deciding who's call to return first.

"Tracy," Jack looked over his reading glasses at Tracy Kibre. "What can I do for you?"

Tracy smiled. She liked how Jack never minced words. She couldn't think of a better person to have taken over when Branch left and was glad he had decided to run for a full term. "Well, as you know, with Gaffney out I'm in need of second chair."

"And you're thinking..?"

"Van Meter. Actually Kelly suggested her. She said she had been 'invaluable' to her on the McKinney case last month. I took the liberty of looking at her case load, it's not too heavy, a few cases could be shuffled around."

Jack took off his reading glasses and looked up at Tracy. "You took the liberty? Well," Jack sighed, "have her go through her cases. Any that won't be wrapped in the next couple of weeks have her split them up between Walsh and Epstein." He tried hard not to sound too eager. Over the last month he and Harper had gone to painstaking measures to keep their relationship discreet. In fact Mike and Connie, whom each considered to be friends, were the only ones in the office that knew. But he couldn't help but be thrilled for her. The move as Kibre's assistant would only be temporary, but it was a lofty move and a Senior ADA like Kibre requesting Harper as a second was fantasic news. She was more than ready for the challenge working for Tracy would present. Not to mention the education she'd get from a seasoned veteran like her. As Kibre left his office he had to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call Harper's desk. This was news he'd love to be able to give her himself.

Heraldry

Harper sat at her desk drawing up the details of a plea bargain she'd just arranged with a robbery suspect when Tracy strode up. She told Harper of her and Jack's conversation and asked if Harper was interested. Harper figured she asked more out of a courtesy rather than a genuine care of whether or not she wanted the task. From what she'd seen of Tracy Kibre in the four and a half months since her transfer when Kibre wanted something she got it. Of course Harper accepted without hesitation. She immediately began separating her existing cases as soon as Kibre left. She could hardly contain her excitement. Second chair on major case trials. This was a huge opportunity. She knew it would only be for a few months while Kelly was out on maternity leave, but it was a foot in the door. And that was all she needed.

She laughed, seeing the irony in it. She was calculating her rise up a ladder that the man she slept with every night stood atop. Harper's stomach suddenly sunk. She hoped Jack hadn't arranged this pairing with Kibre. As her thoughts drifted to Jack her eyes came to rest on a small, white papier-mache crane. She smiled and instantly got that warm 'Jack feeling' as she called it. The crane, a Christmas gift from Jack, made her think of the recent holidays.

Jimmy DiCillo's arrest came just a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Given the recent events she thought it best to go home to Texas for the holidays before her parent's felt the need to visit her themselves. She hated the idea of leaving Jack alone. They hadn't been together long, but the four days away seemed like weeks. By the time Christmas rolled around they had fallen into a comfortable routine. Each spending the night at the other's on a regular basis, breakfast at a diner near Gramercy Park on Saturday mornings, sleeping in and reading the Times on Sundays. It was everything Harper had ever wanted. Christmas morning he'd handed her a small box wrapped in red foil with green curling ribbon, obviously professionally wrapped. Inside the box nestled in red tissue paper sat the white crane. He told her how the crane was considered loyal and auspicious and was one of the earliest symbols for hope and peace. She loved his thoughtfulness. That afternoon she made them a Southern Christmas dinner: turkey and dressing, candied yams, fresh cranberry sauce, and yeast rolls. Afterwards they played Trivial Pursuit and then cozied up on the couch and watched "It's a Wonderful Life". Both the board game and the movie were long standing Christmas Day traditions in the Van Meter home. Jack tolerated it surprisingly well. Unfortunately New Year's Eve was somewhat thwarted by a banquet Jack felt obligated to attend. She understood. Since he'd decided to run for a full term as District Attorney his social calendar had filled up considerably. He hadn't asked her to be his guest and she didn't push the subject. He wasn't comfortable being a couple at work related events. She just kept telling herself to give him time. So she spent New Year's Eve with Connie, Mike and a few others from work at Connie's before excusing herself around 11 and heading home. Happily, much to her surprise, Jack snuck out early from his banquet. So they, along with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark, rang in the New Year together.

For the first time in a long time she was happy, very happy and in every aspect of her life. Harper jerked back to reality when her phone began ringing.

"Harper Van Meter."

"How's lunch looking for you?" Jack asked on the other end. He resisted the urge to bring up Tracy Kibre first thing.

Harper smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hey… I was just thinking about you."

"All good I hope." Jack leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk.

"Absolutely." Her stomach sank as she decided to broach the distasteful subject of her new assignment. "Did Tracy Kibre come to see you this morning?" She tried to sound as non-chalant as possible.

"She did." Jack chuckled to himself. Harper always tried, but she was never quite able to play her cards as closely as she wanted.

"And?"

"And what? She came in, we talked, she left."

"Jack…"

"Harper…" he mocked. He could feel her eyes boring down on him over the receiver. A few seconds of dead silence passed before Jack spoke. "You want to know if this was my idea."

It didn't surprise her that Jack knew what she was thinking. She'd long abandoned shock at Jack's ability to read her mind. She did, however, suddenly feel very foolish for thinking Jack would compromise himself by pulling strings for her. "Yeah," was all she could seem to manage.

"Kibre asked for you, Harper." Jack paused before letting out a small sigh, "You did this all on your own. Remember that when her high expectations are keeping you up at night."

Harper smiled. "Yeah… Jack, I didn't mean to imply that you'd do anything untoward for me… I just…"

"Don't give it a second thought," he interrupted quickly.

"Speaking of high expectations… I don't think I'm going to be able to make lunch today. As soon as I get my cases handed off I'm headed over to Tracy's office to play catch up. We've got voir dire tomorrow on the Gordon double murder."

Jack smirked thinking of the long nights Harper had in front of her. Some of the best times of his life were long nights in the office. "And so it begins… See ya… sometime."

Harper heard him chuckled just before the receiver clicked dead. Over the last couple of months Jack's generally dry demeanor had began to give way to a more wicked, cheeky sense of humor. Harper knew it was her influence and she took great pride in it.

In this insance, like most, Jack was right. By the time Friday rolled around Harper hadn't seen him for more than an hour or so a day. The voir dire on the Gordon case had lasted most of both Wednesday and Thursday. So far she enjoyed working with Tracy. Harper liked that she was a competent, smart, and headstrong woman without being a complete ball buster. So much of the time women are either push-over's or complete shrews. Neither of which seemed a viable option to Harper.

Harper sat in Tracy office up to her elbows in witness depositions, grand jury testimonies, and case law. She and Kibre had been plugging away non-stop to get ready for court Monday afternoon. Her blackberry buzzed with a text.

Lunch? J.

Her stomach grumbled as if it was suddenly aware of the time. All of her lunches since Tuesday had been working lunches, she wondered how Tracy might feel about her skipping out for an hour or so.

"Everything alright?" Tracy asked as she peaked over a file folder.

"Yeah," Harper glanced at her phone again. "You wouldn't mind if I got out of here for an hour, would you?"

"No, go ahead. You deserve a break. Go out, get some fresh air."

Harper quickly returned Jack's text. "Thanks, can I bring you anything back?"

"Nah, I'll grab something soon."

_____

Harper met Jack at Milo's Bistro. He was seated at a small table for two on the patio reading that morning's paper. Her step quickened when she caught sight of him. Even though she slept next to him every night she felt like she hadn't seen him in days.

"Don't I know you?" she asked looking at him skeptically.

He put down the paper and scowled at her. "Hmmm… you look an awful lot like a woman I used to know, but she abandoned me for her work. Would you like a grilled chicken club sandwich? I happen to have an extra one coming." He half stood and motioned to the chair opposite him.

Harper took a step closer to him, "I'd like that." She leaned in a kissed him softly on the cheek as they both chuckled at their silliness. They sat and chatted about their mornings and their cases while they waited their food to come.

"Harper?"

Harper's breath caught in her throat at the sound of a voice she hadn't heard in a very long time. When she turned around the person standing there was no surprise to her. "Charlie. Oh my God, hi." She was sure all of the blood had left her face leaving it as white as a sheet. She stood as Charlie walked to the table.

"I thought that was you," he chuckled nervously. "It's been awhile. How have you been?" He reached to give her a hug which she instinctively received.

It seemed strange to her how foreign his arms felt when they had once been such a refuge. "I'm good. You?" Harper was taken aback by her emotions or lack there of rather. While the meeting was surprising and somewhat awkward she felt nothing for him. Even after all they'd been through, she looked at him and truly felt nothing.

"I'm good, still at Koening, a partner. Things are good." Charlie glanced at the still seated Jack. "Last I heard you were clerking up in Delaware County. That must have been, what, six years ago?"

Jack, while taking the scene in, tried not to listen too intently. The man, who's name he learned was Charlie, was probably a couple of years shy of forty, average build with wavy brown hair. The slight awkwardness between he and Harper made it obvious to him that they had once been a couple. He suddenly felt very much an outsider. This stranger knew things about Harper he didn't. He never knew Harper had clerked in Delaware County, what else did he not know?

"Seven, seven years. I'm with the Manhattan DA's office now." She noticed Charlie glance at Jack for a second time. "Charlie this is-"

"Jack McCoy." Charlie interrupted. Jack stood and they shook hands, "I recognize you from the papers. Joe Chappell seems to be running a tough campaign." Jack nodded. "If it's any consolation you've got my family's vote." Charlie smiled a friendly grin.

"Well, thank you very much."

"Charlie, we'd better get going?" A pretty redhead with two children in tow came and stood next to him. She flashed a friendly smile at Harper and Jack.

"Yeah, honey, this is Harper, from college and Jack McCoy. This is my wife Stephanie."

They all exchanged hellos quickly. The look of recognition that swept over Stephanie's face sicken Harper. She obviously knew who Harper was, probably the entire drama of it all.

Jack noticed Charlie's discomfort grow when his family appeared. It wasn't a shifty or dishonest discomfort. It was more apologetic than anything else. Harper seemed to be working hard to ignore it.

"And who are you?" Harper said as she tickled the chubby leg of the child in Stephanie's arms. If she had to guess Harper would have said she was about 18 months.

Stephanie immediately brightened as only a mother could. "This little one," she said as she lightly jostled the cherub-faced baby girl in her arms, "is Caitlyn." Caitlyn smiled and layed her head on her mother's shoulder. "And this is Max." Her hand mussed the hair of the 3 year old hiding behind her leg. Harper bent down and spoke to him. He eyed her cautiously. He had his mother's red hair, but Charlie's waves.

Jack watched Harper fuss over the children. His heart sank. She always beamed when children were around. Earlier in the week when the photo of Kelly Gaffney's twins began circulating around the office she'd practically cooed. His heart sank because he knew it was something she was giving up by being with him. They'd never actually discussed it, but that ship had sailed for him a long time ago.

"They're gorgeous," she said to both Charlie and Stephanie.

"Thanks." Charlie smiled uncomfortably. "Well, we should get going. It was good seeing you. And nice meeting you Jack. Good luck to you."

"Thank you." Jack grinned and took his seat at the table.

"It was nice meeting you, Stephanie," she said as she shook Stephanie's manicured hand. "Bye, Charlie. Take care."

Harper joined Jack back at the table and resumed eating her lunch. Though she attempted to hid it, the fact that her mind was elsewhere was obvious. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Cute kids." Jack finally commented.

"Yeah, did you see the cheeks on that Caitlyn?" Harper sighed. "So adorable. And Max, Charlie couldn't deny him if he wanted to."

"Harper," Jack's tone turned serious. "I know now probably isn't the best time to talk about this, but it's been weighing on my mind lately." He pushed his empty plate away and rested his elbows on the table. Harper began to feel uneasy at the turn the conversation had taken. "I worry that your wasting opportunities for certain things by being with me." He reached across the small table and took her hand.

"Certain things?" Her brow furrowed. She really didn't want to have this conversation here.

"A family. A normal life. You'll never have that with me."

He seemed so sad. Harper had the urge to hug him. The fact that he even concerned about such things spoke volumes about the kind of man Jack McCoy was. Harper shook her head, "Jack…"

"I'm serious, Harper. These are things you should consider."

Harper's eyes began to moisten. She took his hand in both of hers and sighed deeply. "I love you, Jack. And I love that your concerned about this, but I haven't really seen you in almost three days. Can't we do this another time?"

What she really wanted to was to crawl into Jack's lap, let him wrap his arms around her, and hold her tightly. She wanted to tell him all about Charlie and their relationship, how it had ended badly, and how it had changed her and everything she had ever thought she wanted. She promised herself she'd have this conversation with him. Unlike the other men she'd dated since Charlie, she wanted him to know. He was important enough to tell.