A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. Thanks to mccoylover for the supportive urging!! I REALLY wouldn't have gotten this done without you! I'll try not to take so long for the next chapter! :-)

Chapter 4

Jack McCoy stepped out of the elevator onto the 7th floor of One Hogan Place. He'd just returned from yet another meeting with his campaign manager, Martin McAlester. As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to enjoy this politics game. It could be exhausting at times, but it really wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. As he walked down the hall toward his office his interest was peaked by a joyful commotion coming from the direction of Tracy Kibre's office.

Jack turned the corner to find Tracy, Harper, Kelly Gaffney, and ADAs Rachel Perry and Lisa Boley gathered in Kibre's office. Rachael and Tracy each held a small bundle in their arms. He was beginning to think those babies were haunting him. He strolled to the doorway and gently rapped on the door frame.

"So are these the famous Salazar twins everyone keeps talking about?"

Everyone said their 'hellos' as Jack enter the room. Harper's heart did a little dance, per usual. Jack stopped and peered at the cooing baby in Rachael's arms, dressed in the obligatory pink. He couldn't help but smile.

"That's Teague," Kelly said proudly as she approached her boss. "And Tracy has Javier."

Jack glanced across the room at the blue bundle in Tracy's arms. It never ceased to amaze him how all women, even one as liberated as Tracy Kibre, suddenly turned to mush in the company of babies.

"Congratulations," Jack rested his hand on Kelly shoulder and smiled warmly. "Are you getting much sleep?"

Kelly smiled. "Much is a relative term," she chuckled. "But it's not too bad."

"OK, who's next?" Rachael asked. "Lisa and I are due in Part 46 in a few minutes."

Harper scooted across the room quickly. "Don't even think about giving that baby to anyone but me." A smile spread across her face as Rachael placed Teague into Harper's eager arms.

Jack watched her smile down and the child. Her eyes twinkled with delight when she yawned and let out a little whimper. She lifted Teague and planted light kisses on her temple. He watched as she closed her eyes and took in the baby's scent. He'd never seen her look more beautiful.

Harper's heart strings tugged. There was nothing more wonderful than the smell of a baby. She could never tire of it. When she opened her eyes she noticed Jack's observation. She smiled sheepishly at him. Hoping he didn't read too much into her doting.

"I heard you guys were here." DA Investigator Hector Salazar came into the office. He stopped at Harper and bent down to kiss his daughter. She reluctantly handed the baby over to him. He cradled her in his arms at the same time realizing Jack was in the room. "Mr. McCoy," he reached to shake his hand.

"It's a beautiful family you've got here, Hector."

"Thank you, sir. I'm very lucky." Hector walked over and kissed both Kelly and Javier.

As they chatted Javier became fussy in Tracy's arms. She immediately became uneasy. "OK," she said as she held him away from her body, "I don't do crying babies."

Harper laughed and eagerly accepted the irritable baby. She held him to her shoulder with her hand behind his head and began to gently bounce. He quickly ceased his whimpering.

"You're good at that." Kelly said with a surprise.

"Yeah, the bounce will get 'em every time. Comes from years of babysitting."

"Well you're a natural. You should definitely have children. It would be a shame to waste such innate talent."

Harper just smiled quietly.

Jack, never one to waste an opportunity, saw an opening. "Kelly's right. Don't you want children?" He smiled casually. No one in the room could have possibly known the hidden context of the query.

Harper blushed, shocked at Jack's brazenness. "I, uh… I would like nothing more than to have a house full." She paused, breathing in the aroma of the boy in her arms. "But, that's not going to happen for me." She looked at him intently, "It's OK, though. You take what life gives you and you appreciate it."

Jack just nodded. Part of his heart ached for her, at the same time part of it overflowed with affection.

That evening for the first time in over a month Harper was out of the office before 8 o'clock. After almost a full day of testimony in the Gordon trial Judge Reynolds called an early recess. Since they'd been prepared for a full afternoon of testimony there wasn't much to do once she and Tracy had gone back to the office, allowing her to leave at a decent hour.

She stopped at the market on her way to Jack's. She hadn't cooked dinner in several weeks and was glad to finally get back in the kitchen. She knew she owed him a conversation. Something he'd so stealthily pointed out in Tracy's office that morning. So she set out making them a nice dinner to cushion what she hoped would be a quick conversation.

The aroma of food cooking hit Jack the second he opened the door. He'd always loved coming home to the smell of food. Something that began in childhood he supposed. He put down he his briefcase and shed his coat and suit jacket before seeking out the pleasant fragrance's source. When he turned the corner he couldn't help but smile. There leaned over the counter of the kitchen's island was Harper. She had an apron on over her black slacks and black mock turtle ensemble, her hair was pulled into a loose bun, her black rimmed glasses sat atop her nose that was buried in the latest Nora Roberts novel. She was oblivious so he cleared his throat to alert her of his arrival.

"Finally…" She said as she laid her book down on the counter. She winked his way as her barefeet glided across to the fridge and pulled out two marinating steaks. "These'll be done in about 10 minutes."

As she placed the raw steaks onto the broiling pan Jack moved in behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. "You don't have to wear that silly apron, you know." He lightly kissed her neck just below her ear, catching a whiff of her perfume. The green and white polka dot apron, a bibbed throwback reminiscent of Donna Reed, was a present he'd bought her a couple of months ago. He'd intended it as more of a joke really. It had even came with a matching hair snug.

"Stop it." She turned to face him. "You know, I love this apron. It's very functional and besides," she smiled wickedly at him, "I think it's kinda sexy. Don't you?"

He smiled her favorite smile and nodded silently before bending down and kissing her fully on the lips. She broke their embrace and smiled up at him, lightly stroking his face. "Go change. It'll be ready by the time you are." She swatted his backside before she turned her attention back to their dinner.

By the time Jack returned their food was plated and he had a cold beer waiting on him at the table. They ate in relative silence, simply enjoying the other's presence. Lately these nights were few and far between.

Harper got up to clear the dishes. Jack stopped her insisting she let him. They split the difference: he washed, she'd rinse. They moved through the kitchen in an easy fashion as if they'd been doing it for a number of years.

Jack was in awe of Harper. She was a walking contradiction to him. He'd dated post-Women's Lib women for the majority of his life. And they were, of course, everything that description entailed. Harper was different. She possessed those independent qualities one would expect any 34 year old woman to have, but she also possessed some more archaic qualities one wouldn't expect. He could tell she found it very gratifying to not only cook for him, but to make his plate and clean up afterwards. At times she practically doted on him. She, obviously, wanted children, 'a house full' to be exact. He attributed it, in part, to her southern upbringing. It was perplexing. It was such a juxtaposition to the Harper he saw in the courtroom.

"So," she started as she rinsed the suds from their dinner plates. "You think you're so clever, Jack McCoy."

Jack chuckled. He was surprised it took her this long to bring it up. "Who? Me?"

"Yeah, you." She smiled sideways at him. "'Kelly's right. Don't you want children?'" she mocked.

Jack shrugged. "Sometimes it's hard to get a straight answer out of you."

"So you figure if you corner me among others…."

"Worked didn't it." He smiled and emptied the dishwater from the sink. "You said it yourself, Harper. You want children. A house full. Are you really willing to sacrifice that?" His look and tone turned serious. "The truth is, I worry about you." He sighed.

"Worry about me? Whatever for?" She furrowed her brow, totally unaware of his course of thought. She faced Jack, leaning against the kitchen island with her arms across her chest.

"I'm 63 years old, Harper. At best I've got, what, fifteen maybe twenty years left? If I'm lucky."

Harper's stomach began to knot. She didn't like the thought of Jack not being around. "What's your point?'

He could see her growing anxiety, so he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Twenty years. That's a long time, right? Longer than any of my marriages." He smiled and sensed her relaxing against his body. "Say you give up your opportunity to have any children. And after twenty amazing years together I die." Jack paused, obviously struggling with what came next. "You'll be alone. There won't be any children or grandchildren. It will too late for you start over. I don't want you to regret that."

He held her tightly. She felt his sincerity in every word. "Jack…." Her hand ran down his cheek and rested on his chest. "There's no need to worry about me." He looked at her stubbornly. She felt the need to break the seriousness. "Besides," she pushed away from his captivating arms, "by that time I'll be in my mid-50's. I'll just get a twenty-something boyfriend." She turned and winked, "I'll be fine."

"Harper…" Jack said exasperatedly as he followed her into the next room. "This isn't a joke! We need to talk about this."

"Forgive me, but I don't want to talk about you dying!"

"It'll happen! Hopefully not anytime soon, but…"

"It's a moot point, Jack."

"It's not moot! I will die and you will be alone!"

"Obviously." This time she was the one with the exasperated tone. She exhaled loudly. "Not the dying bit. The children bit."

"That's not moot either. You're giving up an chance at a something you want, something you desperately want. And don't deny that you want children badly. I've seen you with them. You shine brighter than a 100-watt bulb! As much as I love you, you shouldn't give up something you want that badly for me!"

"I'm not!"

"Harper, if you don't-"

"I can't have children Jack!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. They stung, even now. "So you see… it is moot. I will never have children regardless of you." Harper sank onto the couch, afraid to look at Jack. She knew he'd have that look that people always had when they found out. Pity. Remorse. Shock.

Jack felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He'd been so wrapped up his point, he hadn't actually been hearing hers. Children weren't in her future, the children argument was moot, she wasn't giving up children for him. If he had listened he would have actually heard her. He sat down in the chair across from her. "Harper, I…."

She smiled. Her eyes were wet with tears that didn't fall. "Do you remember that day at Milo's? My friend Charlie?" Jack nodded. She sat there in silence collecting her thoughts. "We started dating my freshman year. Charlie was a senior, an accounting major. We were… inseparable."

Jack leaned back in his chair, watching Harper. Her face was a mixture of emotion as she remembered things he could only assume were bittersweet.

"We got married the summer before I started law school." She smiled at Jack's surprise. "We had quite the ten-year plan. I'd finish law school, join a law firm, and make partner by the time I was 35. He was going to work his way up at Koening, make all the right connections, and then open his own accounting firm. We were going to have two and half children and a dog and it was going to be very Norman Rockwell." She smiled trying to make light of the situation.

"So what happened?"

She sighed. "My second year of law school I got sick." Jack's questioning looked turned to one of concern. "I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian disease. I'm fine." Harper felt her eyes moisten, she hated telling this story. "But, I can't have children. We talked about our options. The doctor said I had maybe a 30% chance with infertility treatments, but I didn't want to take the chance of being one of those women giving birth to seven children." She laughed. "Needless to say, our marriage went south very quickly. It was over not long after our second anniversary."

Jack moved to the sofa next to Harper and took her hands into his. Their warmth coaxing her to continue. "I was a bit of a mess after the divorce. I took some time off from school, needed to figure things out. I ran away, really."

"Everybody needs to run away sometimes." He smiled warmly. "You were going through a great deal."

She looked at him earnestly. "I went to Honduras…." Jack's eyes widened. "For two years."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle out loud. "Well, at least when you do something, you commit to doing it right."

Harper tried in vain to stifle her laughs. She loved the comfort Jack brought her. "I joined The Peace Corps. It was an amazing experience. I learned so much, about life, about myself. I realized that even though I wouldn't have some of the things I'd always wanted, that didn't mean I wouldn't be ever be happy. I just need to make a new plan." She smiled at his loving face.

"You are full of surprises, Harper Van Meter." He pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the forehead.

She turned to look him in the eye. She could never decide, but right now, his eyes were her favorite part about him. They were so penetrating and at times more expressive than words could ever be.

"I love you, Jack. And there is no way I could every regret living a life with you."