Jem: -cricket- -cricket- I'M BACK! –cricket- Yeah I bet everyone thought I died and there's no more Kami-ness. It's been two months since I put chapter two up, hasn't it? Well it's real weird how I actually ended up writing again. I went on vacation at a dude ranch for a whole week (just got back this Sunday) and I was without the internet and computer the whole entire time! So when I got home I was like, "Hmm. I feel like writing in my Ouran fic." So hey! Here is it!
Chapter Three
"Good bye my princess." Tamaki bowed and kissed his last customer of the day's hand. The girl squealed and left the room giddy.
The twins sat down on a couch and sighed, "Finally the day's over. Today felt longer than usual."
Tamaki crouched down on the floor in front of their couch and whispered, "That's because your house guest was staring at my daughter the whole time! I'm telling you she's onto my daughter. Daddy doesn't approve, nuh-uh"
Haruhi walked past the group with a tray full of teacups and rolled her eyes as she overheard them. "Tamaki-senpai, you must have only been watching what Kami was doing for a little while. She's dead asleep on the window seat and has been for the past half hour."
Hikaru and Kaoru both looked at the window seat the second Haruhi said Kami was there and grinned very evil smiles. They both were still mad about the door incident that morning and telling their fangirls about how Kami was staying with them didn't go exactly as they planned, so just a small prank wouldn't hurt. They stood up and walked over to Hunny with their evil grins still on their face. "Hunny-senpai, can we have a piece of cake?"
Hunny's eyes grew wide and appeared to shine, "Hika-chan and Kao-chan want to eat cake with me?"
The twins shook their heads and pointed at Kami, still smiling at Hunny. "We're gonna wake up the blueberry."
Suddenly Hikaru and Kaoru each felt an arm go around their shoulder and looked at each other, then down, to see the top of a bright orange head.
"Hikaru and Kaoru both want to eat with you Hunny. How about you get them a cake each, okay?" Kami asked with blank look. She forced the two into chairs, with a chair between them, and then sat down in the free chair.
The blonde grinned from ear to ear and grabbed two (blue) cakes from the cart next to him. "Here you go! Hika-chan! Kao-chan!" He set down the cakes in front of the twins and then looked at Kami. "Does Kami-chan want some cake?"
Kami shook her head and placed Usa-chan on the center of the table, "I'm gonna have some of the twins, if there's any left." Her blank look disappeared and she looked at Hikaru, then Kaoru. "Join the blueberry club." She said with a grin.
The two quickly started to get up and run away, but not soon enough because as they started to move Kami grabbed a handful of hair on the back of their heads and smashed their faces into the cakes.
Hikaru was the first to lift his head and he glared at Kami. "I don't think your blue enough yet." He grabbed his caked and started to smash it in Kami's face, but she slipped out of her chair and crawled under the table, laughing, as instead the cake went flying onto the back of Kaoru's head.
Kaoru lifted his head and glared at Hikaru. "Oh sure miss and aim at me." He grabbed his cake and sent it flying at his brother, but Hikaru ducked and the cake went flying through the room, right into Tamaki's face.
Tamaki pulled the cake off his face and looked over at the twins. "Why are you throwing cakes at me you hooligans?! Die!" He chucked the cake at the two, right as the unfortunate Haruhi walked past Hikaru, who was in the line of fire. "Sorry Haruhi!" He yelled as he grabbed her by the shoulders and used her as a shield. She squeaked in surprise and was hit in the face with the cake. Hikaru dropped her on the ground and ran to Kaoru's side.
"How dare you use my daughter as a shield! This is war!" Tamaki ran over to Hunny's cake cart and chucked another cake at the twins.
Hunny grabbed Usa-chan and ducked as the war started. Suddenly he felt someone grab his ankle and he was dragged under the table. He started to yell, but a hand covered his mouth and a high voice whispered, "Shh. They forgot I started everything. Stoic-Quiet-Guy(1) is over by Glasses-Freak(2) and looks worried about you. Let's get out of the war zone." The hand left his mouth and Hunny turned around to face Kami, he had even forgotten she was there. He nodded and started to crawl out from under the table, but Kami pulled him back. "Wait we gotta save Normal-Dudette." She whispered as she pointed at Haruhi, who was sitting of the floor, where she was dropped after being whacked in the face with the cake. She was wiping the cake off her face, without much luck since most of the jelly filling from the middle was stuck on her. "If she keeps sittn' there she's gonna be used as a shield again."
Hunny nodded and since he was so used to everyone in the club calling Haruhi a she after hosting (and he had no idea what a dudette(3) was) it didn't really register in his head that Kami had called Haruhi a she.
Kami peeked her head slowly out from under the table, looked around to make sure it was safe, and dragged Haruhi under the table. Haruhi also started to yell in surprise, but, just like Hunny, her mouth was quickly covered by Kami's hand. "Me 'n Hunny are saving yah. We're gonna make a dash to Stoic-Quiet-Guy and Glasses-Freak to get out of the war zone."
Haruhi smiled one of her 'natural' smiles at Kami. "Thank you. I thought I was going to be stuck being used as Hikaru's shield again." She blinked then asked (using her natural knife), "But Kami weren't you one that started everything?"
The orange girl grinned a Cheshire cat grin and shrugged. "Indirectly yes, but the twins started it, they were the ones planning on cake-ing me in the face. Oh, but that doesn't matter. What matters right now is getting safe. You guys just follow me. I'm good at going unseen. Super Spy."
Kami poked her head out from under the table and did a quick summersault over to a couch next to the table and watched the cake fight for a second then signaled the other two to follow. Haruhi and Hunny crawled over next to Kami and looked at her for the next move. She nodded to them and army crawled(4) across the room to two couches with a coffee table between them, only a couple yards away from Kyoya and Mori. She looked behind her and watched Hunny and Haruhi crawl over as well. Once the two were behind her she waved her hand in a sweeping motion. "Hunny make a dash over to Stoic-Quiet-Guy and Normal-Dudette you make a dash over to the two once Hunny makes in safe. I'll cover you two. This is still war zone men! Even if we aren't the direct targets there are always stray missiles! Stay on alert!" Kami started giggling and quickly covered her mouth. She nodded at Hunny to start running.
Tamaki and the Twins were preoccupied with each other and only stray cakes went flying anywhere near the blonde. He made it safe to Mori and Haurhi dashed over to the safe zone. Kami watched the two make it then glanced at the trio fighting. "General Kami is going in," She muttered to herself as she dashed over to the safe zone.
Of course if everything in life were easy life would be boring, just as Kami started to dash the twins realized to culprit of the cake fight was missing. They stopped throwing at Tamaki and glanced at each other.
"Milord." They said together. "Kami was the one that started everything. Shouldn't we be throwing the cakes at her?"
Tamaki stopped in mid-throw and stared at the twins. "The American Orange-Berry(5) started everything? She's the reason my daughter was hit in the face with the cake?"
"Well indirectly yes." The twins shrugged and Kaoru noticed Kami dashing in the corner of his eye. "HIKARU!" He yelled. "Fire away!" He pointed at Kami and chucked the cake in his hand at her, as did Hikaru.
Kami screeched and ducked under the cakes. "Nyeeeh!" She yelled sticking out her tongue. "You can't get me!" The 'American Orange-Berry' ran the last stretch of the room and jumped up next to Kyoya as stuck her thumb on her nose and wiggled her fingers. "Bleggghh!"
The twins frowned and both picked up a cake. They threw it at Kami, completely forgetting that Kyoya was right next to her. Kami squeaked and jumped behind Kyoya at the last second, and it was Kyoya who was caked in the face with two cakes.
Everything in the room went dead silent and everyone froze where they stood. Kyoya very slowly wiped the icing and cake off his face. "Haruhi. Twenty customers have been added to your debt." He calmly took his glasses off and wiped the off on a cloth.
Haruhi's jaw dropped and she stared at Kyoya. "How does that work?"
Tamaki ran over to Kyoya and shook him by the shoulder. "Mom how could you! Our daughter isn't the culprit! It's those ruffians over there!" The blonde yelled pointing at the twins.
Hikaru and Kaoru pointed at themselves with innocent looks. "Us? It's not our fault! Kami started everything!"
Kami stuck her tongue out at the twins and said, "It was the twins fault. They were the ones who were planning on cake-ing me in the face in the first place! I was just protecting myself!"
Kyoya pushed Tamaki off him and place his glasses back on his head. "If Haruhi had never pointed out that Kami was sleeping none off this would have happened. So it all leads back to Haruhi."
Tamaki frowned and hugged Haruhi. "So then it's the American Orange-Berry's fault for being asleep!"
Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose and they reflected light so they sparkled. "Kami is safe for now because she is going to keep our secret and give me all of the pictures she has taken."
Once again everyone in the room froze, that is except for Kami who started backing out to the door.
"Kami-chan knows? Since when?" Hunny, who was sitting on Mori's shoulder, asked as he hugged Usa-chan with his eyes wide. "She's going to keep it right?
"Hikaru! Kaoru! I thought you said Americans were stupid idiots!" Tamaki whirled around to look at the twins.
Hikaru and Kaoru shrugged and said nonchalantly, "The stereotype doesn't apply to Kami apparently. But does it really matter that she knows now? She would have figured it out sooner or later since she's tagging along with us."
Kyoya looked over at Kami, completely ignoring the other's chatter, and held out his hand. "Pictures."
Kami glared at Kyoya and pulled a very small camera out of her pocket. "How the hell did you know I was taking pictures anyways?" She placed the camera in his hand and cocked her head to the side. "Hey how'd you know I knew Normal-Dudette was a girl?"
"You just confirmed my suspicions. I figured you would be the type to catch on quickly. I do background checks very thoroughly." He looked over the camera, which was digital, and started looking at the pictures. "Just because I wear glasses does not mean I am blind and like I said I do background check very thoroughly." He looked over at the group discussing about Kami knowing about Haruhi and then back at Kami. He handed her a piece of paper and on the outside it said, 'Open at home.'
Kami stared Kyoya then shrugged. She stuffed the note in her pocket and looked over at the group. "What are they so worked up about anyways?"
Tamaki was in his Corner of Doom; the twins were saying something to him that was making him even more upset, Hunny and Mori, well actually just Hunny was talking to Haruhi and seemed to be comforting her, who didn't look like she cared at all.
"Tamaki does not enjoy people learning about Haruhi's secret." Kyoya said as he started scribbling things down in his notebook.
"Hey can I have my camera back?" Kami asked as she looked up at the evil lord.
Kyoya didn't take his attention off his notebook and simply said, "Note."
Kami rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, "stupid Glasses-Freak," as she walked over to the twins, who seemed to be doing the most interesting thing at the moment.
"Just think Milord-"
"Haruhi will have a female friend to hang out with."
"Her inner female will awaken."
Hikaru and Kaoru were snickering, finding everything very humorous.
Tamaki looked over his shoulder at the two with a frown. "No! The American Orange-Berry will be a bad influence for my daughter! All we know is that the American Orange-Berry is really a guy!"
The twins looked at each other with a smirk and both said bluntly, "Well with her jugs it would be kinda difficult-"
"Hikaru! Kaoru! How could you talk like that with my daughter in the room?"
Kami walked up behind the twins and pulled them both into a headlock. "How could you talk like that with his daughter in the room you two? Hell I wanna know why you're even talking like that with me in the room. Pervs."
The twins grinned and twisted around so they were looking up and Kami and said, on the verge on cracking up, "Well right now we have a pretty good view."
Kami quickly let go of their heads and the twins dropped to the ground. The second the sound of their heads clunking to the ground rung Kami stepped on their faces. "How's the view of the gum on the bottom of my shoes? Great view, no?"
"See what I mean!" Tamaki said as he backed up into his corner. "The American Orange-Berry is bad influence for my daughter!"
Haruhi came up to the group and smiled at Kami. "Well I actually don't mind Kami. She isn't letting the twins step all over her."
"Living in New York you gotta learn some things about taking care of yourself. I prefer to take the more effective path." She stepped off the twins and then held out her hands to help the two up. "I've met worse pervs though."
Hikaru pushed Kami's hand away and got up by himself, but Kaoru accepted the offer and she help him up. Kaoru smiled and said to Hikaru, "The score is in her favor isn't it Hikaru?"
Hikaru brushed himself off then grinned as well. "It is isn't it?"
They each seemed to pull a hat out of thin air and placed it on his head. "Kami, want to make a deal? If you can guess which one is Hikaru the score stays the way it is, but if you guess wrong the score is flipped and we get your count and you get ours."
Kami blinked and stared at them with a blank look. "Count of what?" She said finally.
"Of how many times one of us has caught the other off guard, played a prank on them, or just said something that we decide to add into the count." They said simultaneously. Then Hikaru said, "Our count is four(6)." Kaoru then said right after Hikaru finished, "And your count is five(7)."
Kami tilted her head and smirked. "What the hell? That sounds like something preschoolers would do."
Haruhi raised an eyebrow and looked over at Kami. "I would think you would be the type of person to enjoy doing that."
The orange girl smirk turned into a smile that went from ear to ear and she giggled. "Oh I love keeping score over petty things like that! The immaturity of it all is great! Okay you guys lets raise the stakes. Whoever looses gets the lower score and for every time they can't complete a prank of theirs (and it should be pretty obvious when a prank either backfires or isn't done right) the pranker looses a point and the point goes to the one who was going to be pranked, but whoever wins still gets points for attempted pranks." She held out her hands to be shook and asked, "Deal?"
The twins matched Kami's smile and shook her hands. "You're on." The two pulled their hats lower so it would be impossible to see their part and started walking around Kami in a circle. "Well which one is Hikaru, Kami?"
The stopped spinning around Kami and rested their elbows on her shoulders. "Ready to loose?" The one on her left asked. "We have already won anyways. You shouldn't have raised the stakes." Their grin seemed to grow larger as Kami looked back and forth between the two.
Kami ducked out from under them and said. "Kaoru left. Hikaru right. I win."
The twins grinned even bigger and laughed. "Eeeeeh. You L-O-S-E!"
Kami laughed as well. "Eeeeeeh. You L-O-S-E. The part in your hair isn't the only thing different about you two." She waved her finger in their faces and shook her head saying, "Tsk, tsk tsk. Don't try to cheat you pumpkin eaters."
The twins laughed and glanced at Haruhi, who was laughing, "She got you guys. You lost."
Hikaru scowled and plopped down on a couch, with Kaoru right behind him. "We lost Kaoru. Can you believe it? The American Orange-Berry keeps beating us at our own games."
"Makes her all the more interesting." Kaoru said with a shrug. "She'd be a fun new toy."
Hikaru smiled and looked over at Kami, who was talking to Hunny (probably about some type of animal), and nodded. "This year has gotten a lot less boring."
--
That evening at the Hitachiin Mansion…….
After dinner Kami went up to her room, shut her door and locked it. "Finally." She sighed to herself.
Ever since Kyoya had given her the note, that she had yet to read, she had been dieing to open it. Only she never got a chance when she got home because the twins, for some odd reason, kept bugging her nonstop about helping them with their English homework. She finally gave in and helped them, though they barely needed any help, but she did make them help her with all of her homework in exchange, reading Japanese was so much harder than speaking it. Doing the homework took up the whole rest of the afternoon until dinner and dinner took forever since the twin's mom seemed to have a galaxy of things to talk about.
Kami sat down at her desk, which was surround by unpacked boxes of her stuff, and woke up her computer. She opened up AIM and set up a Webcam chat with Coco. A picture of a cosplayer as Sephiroth(8) popped up instead of Coco's empty room and Kami laughed. "Looks like Coco is in a Sephiroth obsession again. I wonder why she paused the camera to this picture instead of herself." The orange girl laughed and added to herself, "She is obsessed with herself more than anything else."
Kami pulled the note out of her pocket and started to open when she noticed the Sephiroth smile. She set the note down on her desk and stared at the computer with her jaw wide open. Then the Sephiroth started to laugh! Kami screamed at the top of her lungs, jumped over to her bed, and hid under the covers. "Oh my gawd! Sephiroth has come back from the final level to kill me! Spare me Sephiroth! Spare me! I only wanted to complete the game!"
Kami could hear that the Sephiroth was laughing, but suddenly stopped when her door opened (obviously her lock didn't work very well).
"Kami what are you screaming about?"
"Are you afraid to sleep alone or something?"
The twins walked over to Kami's bed and pulled back her covers. "But only Haruhi could share a bed with us so don't think we'll offer."
"Why would I want to sleep you two freaks? I'd scream in fright when I woke up because it'd be like I slept in the waiting room for people getting plastic surgery(9)!" Kami jumped off her bed, grabbing Kaoru's arms in the process and holding him in front of her. "But that doesn't matter." She pushed Kaoru forward as she walked towards her computer. "What matters is that Sephiroth came back from the final level to get revenge on me."
Kaoru looked at the 'picture' of the Sephiroth and raised an eyebrow. "It looks like a normal picture to me."
Hikaru walked over to the computer as well and then suddenly jumped back as he noticed that the Sephiroth blinked. "That's not a picture."
Suddenly that Sephiroth squealed and started yelling, in a very girly voice, "Kyaaa! Oh mi gawd! Pretty boys! Pretty boys! Kami you lucky duck! I want to live with twin hotties!" Right after the girl said 'hotties' she screamed a very loud high-pitched scream out of pure pleasure.
Both Hikaru and Kaoru jumped back a couple feet and stared at the screen. "What the?" They said with their jaws just as low as Kami's had been.
Kami's reaction was a bit different than the twins though. "Coco?" She said sounding completely amazed. "Holy Canoles! What an amazing cosplay! You had me completely fooled!"
"Oh I know I did Kami! I couldn't miss the opportunity! Me 'n Zaire are going to a convention today so I decided to try to talk to you before we left. Don't you love my wig? Oh Kami I've missed you! I want to hug you so bad!" Coco pulled off the silver wig and long, wavy, blonde hair came tumbling out. "And me 'n Zaire have to come visit you sometime soon! Kyaaaaa KAMI! I want to huggle you to death right now!"
The twins looked at each other and almost burst out laughing. They remembered the conversation on Kami's laptop and how Coco had made fun of Kami about being an otaku; the girl had no right to talk.
"I've missed you too Coco! But hey, school is tomorrow, well today for you, are you skipping again? Wait why do I ask of course you are. So what con are you going to-"
Kami's side of the conversation was suddenly cut off at the sound of someone banging on a door and yelling, "Coco! You better open this door up right now! Let me talk to my Kami-chan! Kami-chan! I love you! Coco! Let me talk to Kami! I'll break down your door!"
Right after the voice coming from the webcam said it was breaking the door another voice came through the speaker and it was yelling, "Oh no you won't unless you want to be grounded! Go, get Zaire! Let your sister talk to her friend in peace! Shoo! Sorry about Zaire, honey. He ran off the second I mentioned you were talking to Kami. Hi Kami dear! Hope our having fun in Japan!"
Kami laughed and shook her head. "Your family is lively as ever Coco."
Coco didn't say anything and just sat there staring at Kami looking like she was expecting the orange girl to do something.
"What?" Kami asked and when she was replied with another blank look it hit her. "Oh. Hikaru! Kaoru! Get 'yer asses over here." She stood up, grabbed the note from her desk, and walked over to the twins. "Time to practice your English." She said with a mischievous smile as she pushed them over to her computer and sat them down in front of it. "Coco, this is Hikaru and Kaoru. Talk with them for a bit. I'm gonna go get a snack." Kami bent down and whispered in the twin's ear, "This is another point for me." She left the room, laughing.
Hikaru and Kaoru looked at each other then Coco, who seemed to be shining. "Just the three of us." She said with a huge grin. "Tell me everything about yourselves! Starting now! Now! N-O-W!"
--
Kami sat on the kitchen bar with her legs swinging back and forth munching on a cookie. On her lap was the note Kyoya gave her that she had just finished reading and she was very much so looking forward for the next day. The note read:
Kami-chan,
I perform my background checks very thoroughly, emphasis on the very. I have a proposition associated with your past interest in photography. Meet me in the 3rd Music room before school. Do make sure Hikaru and Kaoru do not know we are meeting, I guarantee my offer will go down the drain if they know.
Kyoya
Vice President of the Ouran High School Host Club
End of Chapter Three
(1) Stoic-Quiet-Guy: Just in case someone can't put two and two together Stoic-Quiet-Guy is Mori
(2) Glasses-Freak: Same as above only for the extreme idiots (It's Kyoya by the way)
(3) Hunny not know what a dudette is: Well I'm figuring that even though most Japanese do learn English and Hunny and them all being rich and highly educated they are probably pretty fluent in English, but no teacher is going to teach their students English slang so I say Hunny doesn't know what a dudette is
(4) Army crawled: Just in case someone needs a better description XP Army crawling is when you lay down on your stomach and use your forearms, elbow, knees, and feet to move around real low on the ground
(5) The American Orange-Berry: Just in case someone forgot Kami's outfit I'll explain. Tamaki is calling Kami an Orange-Berry because her hair is bright neon orange and her whole outfit is completely blue, hence Orange-Berry
(6) Twin's score as 4: .1. Tricking Kami into going from window to window in the car .2. Sending the fangirl over to Kami .3. The jugs comment (because they wanted more points) .4. The nice view comment before they were stepped on (always because the wanted a high score)
(7) Kami's score as 5: .1. Sending the twins flying into the wall at the airport .2. The naked woman prank .3. Opening the door as they were about to break it open .4. Cake-ing them in the face .5. Stepping on them
(8) Sephiroth: Just in case there are peeps reading that are deprived enough to not know who Sephiroth is I have this here. Sephiroth is the big baddie in FFVII and you kill him at the end of the game, but he does come back through Kadaj in FFVIIAC
(9) "I'd scream in fright when I woke up because it'd be like I slept in the waiting room for people getting plastic surgery(9)!": Kami is indicating that ugly people get plastic surgery and that they are ugly (Which is so not true!)
Jem: What's real amazing is that with out my junk this chapter is 4132 words long and 8 pages! 0.o I wonder if anyone has noticed that my chapters are getting longer and longer each time… Well if someone did I'm doing that on purpose. XD My goal is to make each chapter close to 1000 words longer than the last. Go me!
Thank to bloody kyoko, MagykGurl, Lindsay-chan(It'd be pretty hard for Kami to be a host after being a girl for her first day wouldn't it?), LittleAngel22493(I hope you didn't loose another life, you know me being gone for two months and all. XD and Death Note is an anime about a psychopath killer with shinigami in it and a real keyooot detective (L FANGIRL ALL THE WAY!) It's pretty good), Jackie Rodgers(Kami isn't getting jiggy with anyone just yet ;D), and Orochimaru's Ojou-san for your reviews!
P.S. Total Reviews: 24 Total Hits: 1673 Total c2s: 3(OMFG!) Total Favs: 13(.) Total Alerts: 22 Time Finished and Uploaded: 12:55
Love you all! Please review!!