Disclaimer: I have beseeched

And was quailed

I have entreated

To no avail

I will fight

Only to fail

gaining Twilight

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream—Or Not

After I was done with my victim—a middle aged woman with dark hair this time—I washed my bloodied hands and face in the water before me. As I washed I stared with sick fascination at the blood as it made swirling patterns in water before being diluted. After I was finished, some instinct told me to hide the woman's body. Which, I decided as I analyzed this urge, made sense if I didn't want to be discovered. After all, I couldn't very well remain inconspicuous if I were to leave a trail of blood-drained bodies behind me.

Knowing what I had to do and knowing how to do it were two completely different things, however. As a result I ended up staring at the body for much longer than I would have liked as I tried to come up with an appropriate way to dispose of it. Staring at the woman for so long caused the soul-crushing guilt I had experienced earlier to bubble up but I suppressed it quickly until I was back to the cold state I had put myself in. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I had two options. One; I put the body in the lake after adding several more lacerations so her family could eventually find it and assume that she had gotten attacked by an animal and the water washed away all of her blood. Or two; I simply bury the body deep into the woods where no one could ever find her. My cold, calculative exterior encouraged me to go with this path as it was easier and decreased the chance of exposure, while my compassionate, human side wanted to give the woman's family some peace. These two sides battled until one emerged victorious.

I scooped up the body into my newly strengthened arms and dashed into the forest.

* * *

After I had finished the task, it dawned on me that in all vampire stories I had read vampires were immortal. I now had the eternity I had so often dreamed about and no clue what to do with it. If I was human I would like to spend it learning everything about anything, but I couldn't walk into a university when I would attack any human that was unfortunate to cross my path. Without that activity, forever was bound to get fatally boring. I smirked at myself for the irony of that statement. At the present, I had no way of knowing even if I could be killed except for possibly pure sunlight.

Getting back to the matter at hand, I tried to plan what I would do with my new life but came up blank. My human memories were of little to no help as they were so few and dim. For example: I knew almost everything academic, like calculus, but had no idea how or when I had acquired such skills. Trying to plan that far into the future was mentally exhausting, so I settled with the present and near future. I figured it was a good idea to test out as many of the myths I could that without endangering myself. I wasn't about to walk into sunlight anytime soon, especially without knowing the consequences. Unfortunately, most of my questions were on what was dangerous to me so I had very few that I could test out safely.

Having significantly narrowed down the myths to test, I quickly chose to see if could sleep as long as I was somewhere dark and enclosed. I was still too human to go digging up coffins for me to use but I thought a small cave or tunnel would suffice.

Not knowing how to find either of these things and having nothing better to do I wandered, testing all of my enhanced senses as I did so. Aside from improved senses and possible indestructibility, I found that my strength was also very great, along with my speed. I utilized these traits to climb a tree to get a closer look at a hawk's nest I had glimpsed between the branches. I managed to jump to the branch nearest the ground (which was still about thirty feet up) and caught it in my hands intending to pull myself up from there. To my dismay, I used a bit too much force in pulling myself up from my hanging position accidentally ripped the branch from the trunk and ended up hurtling back toward the earth. Too shocked to let go of the branch and land in a crouch as instinct told me to do, I crashed into the ground still holding the branch in an undignified tangle of limbs, hair, pine needles, bark, and tree sap.

As I'd more than half expected, I suffered no damage from the fall apart from the additional tears to my clothes. I sighed then attempted to scale the tree again, more to prove to myself that I could do it than to see the nest, and succeeded with no mishaps.

The nest held my attention only briefly as the chicks were still too young to have feathers, and the translucent skin of the baby birds disgusted me. However, the view from such a height was spectacular. The entire expanse of the forest was laid out before me in an almost never-ending, never-broken sea of green. Small lakes and ponds dotted the verdant carpet and lo! I could see the exact thing I needed to perform my next experiment; caves.

Or rather, an abandoned (at least I hoped it was for human's sake) granite quarry. The mine had burrowed deep into the earth at the foot of a small mountain, and looked as though it would be perfect for my needs. I briefly debated whether to get down from my perch and wend my way through the trees to get to my destination or to merely jump from treetop to treetop. I greatly favored the second option as it sounded more fun and I would be able to keep my great view of the night sky and not have to worry about losing sight of my goal.

Decision made, I leapt off my branch onto one on a nearby tree at the same height. I repeated this process for a while, slipping occasionally, until I grew bored of doing the same thing over and over. I realized with the repetition that the less I thought about my actions, the more accurate my motions were and the fewer mistakes I made. Armed with that knowledge, I stopped analyzing move so much and just thought about what I wanted to do then did it. Soon I was doing flips, blind leaps, backward jumps, and even pirouettes between the trees. The tricks I was doing were enough to make an Olympic gymnast cry with envy though they slowed me down some. Of course, I didn't really care about lost time as I was quickly running out of ways to spend it already and I still had a literal forever to go! Still, by the time I reached the quarry the sky was already starting to lighten with the first light of dawn not dimmed by any clouds. I hurriedly sped into the darkness of the tunnels, momentarily worrying about seeing in such blackness until I realized that I had no trouble at all. I knew I had no discomfort yesterday in the light of dawn but that could easily be passed off for me being so new so I didn't want to risk being caught by sunlight of any sort.

Walking farther into the tunnel, I thought about how it really had only been yesterday that I had awoken as a vampire. Only yesterday that I had committed two murders. Only yesterday that I realized that the world I lived in was not as I thought it to be.

As I pondered this, I found what I had unknowingly sought. A ledge in the wall of the tunnel that still housed the various tools needed in the mining profession. I quickly swept off the items and lay down on the alcove. The ceiling was only about a foot away from my nose but I still managed to find the position comfortable. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander in hopes of drifting off to sleep.

At first I thought my problem was that I simply wasn't tired yet and if I just let my mind wander then eventually I would get bored and succumb to slumber. I tried this tactic for a lengthy if indeterminate amount of time as I thought of lighter, more inconsequential subjects such as my appearance. Did I have fangs? I quickly checked by running my tongue over my teeth but my canines felt normal length. I supposed that they might be retractable as in the movie Blade. Was I inhumanly beautiful like some stories said vampires were, or would I be monstrously grotesque? I wondered idly how I was supposed to know what I looked like when I didn't cast a reflection but decided I would just ask someone.

'That is,' I thought morosely, 'if I can keep from killing them.' Depressed by this thought, I played a game that seemed fairly familiar to me even if I didn't know why. The game was simple, come up with as many complaints as possible with as little time in between each as you can. I began with obvious, legitimate complaints like, 'I'm a murderer but it's not my fault' and 'I have to murder for the rest of my life unless I commit suicide', but quickly descended into petty matters such as 'I have to live for eternity with nothing to do and no one to spend it with unless I kill myself which I won't as I am too much of a coward', ' I can't possibly keep my hair looking right without a reflection' and 'I'm going to get dirty living in the woods'. Eventually complaints became so ridiculous, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. The game had served more purposes than the original objective to waste time. I was able to vent out my discontent and it pulled me out of my black mood.

With my lightened spirits and troubling matters cleared from my mind, I expected sleep to find me quickly. So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, my thirst, which had been growing in intensity for the last few hours, shortened my patience to the extent that I gave up on sleep and went to check if it was dark enough for me to go hunting.

To my surprise, I quickly found my way out of the cavern I had been in with no mishaps. I cautiously approached the edge to determine how much more time I had to waste before the sun went down. To my pleasure and dismay it was twilight. Pleasure because it wouldn't be more that twenty minutes before I could safely leave my lair, and dismay because it would be over fifteen minutes before I could slake my thirst. Petulantly, I sat cross-legged on the floor to wait for the estimated time to end despite the fact I was perfectly comfortable standing. The position reminded me of my obscure memories of meditation. I didn't have any memories of actually doing it, but the supposed results of it were something I could use right now; control of the mind and subsequent serenity.

Without any further delay I proceeded to empty my brain of thought and simply be. Not something easily accomplished by an obsessive worrier such as I. As soon as I would cease to think, I ruin it by saying 'hey, I'm doing it!' or some such thing to myself and have to start over. I continued this until I got bored and opened my eyes. Through them, I found that it was quite dark enough for me to find my next meal.

And so, I slipped into the night to begin my first hunt.

AN: 2,014 words excluding AN and disclaimer. Sorry about the wait, don't have any excuses except for the fact that I'm at checkpoint A, know where checkpoint B is, but have no idea how to get there.

Please review even if you only write a word or two. Just assure me that I have readers!

Requests: tell me when you think this story should be based. I told one reviewer that it was post-BD but I'm not sure that its really best for this story and the conflicts I have planned.

Also, as you may or may not have noticed, I have not as of yet mentioned my character's name. This is because she doesn't have one, so please send me some recommendations. I'd like the name to be unique and possibly based on night, shadows, darkness…you get the idea.