Disclaimer: I own Lichen and all faeries except Queen Clairion. Oh, and Professor Thatcher is mine, since I have no clue who is the Muggle Studies teacher; as well as Lucinda Thatcher. Unfortunately, so is Larry Hawke. The rest belong to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Lichen is back and is taking up an offer. Thus comes the next story.

(Let's just say, Lichen wasn't listening when he was told not to talk to strangers.)

CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D

Story 9

Lichen takes a bribe.

"I cannot believe you let me take you here," Snape snarled as he opened his pocket. The pocket was already turning sparkly and Lichen had only been in there for a few minutes. "You could compromise your entire world by accompanying me."

"But they have CANDY!" Lichen squeaked happily, jumping up and down, causing another glitter explosion. The silver specks poofed out of his pocket and cascaded onto his robes. "I LOVE candy!"

"Well, you will just have to wait and see if I can get you to Honeydukes without being noticed," Snape replied. "I cannot jeopardize my position because of your need for sugary confections. Besides, I need to watch the children."

Upon closing his pocket, Severus realized he was being watched.

Professor Mark Thatcher was the most Muggle-looking wizard on the face of the planet. He nearly had to be forced into his robes every dinner and taught his classes in button-down shirts and upon occasion, jeans of all things. He had the world's most unwizardly ties, which included one with rubber-duckies, one with a vacuum cleaner and one with a bunch of toasters that would whisper to you when you passed him by. Thatcher was wearing one such tie now, this one decorated with a series of light bulbs that lit up the moment something magical approached them. Snape hated him more than Lupin, Potter, and Black altogether.

"You okay Professor?" Mark managed to say, walking up to his colleague. "I thought I heard you talking to yourself."

"It was probably those stupid toasters on your tie," Snape snapped. "They're completely and utterly inappropriate."

"It's our day off Severus," Thatcher replied, keeping up with Snape's long strides. The two men were exact opposites, yet they stood at approximately the same height. Thatcher was one of the few teachers who could look Snape straight in the eye, and that irritated and scared him as well. "Why don't you just enjoy it for once? Come on; let's go get a FireWhiskey or something."

"If you are attempting to ask me on a date, I will kill you right now. I don't care how many students see. They will probably thank me for it."

"Of course not Sev!" Thatcher said, slapping him on the back. "I'm married, remember to my lovely wife Lucinda, remember?"

How could Severus forget? Thatcher's wedding had been as Muggle as it could possibly be. It wasn't even the wedding he hated as much as the fact Thatcher had made him a member of the wedding party. He had looked ridiculous in a Muggle suit, and would never live it down. Still, it was nice to be considered someone's friend once in a while. It was even better when that person did not leave your robes sparkly.

"I shall take your offer into consideration," was Snape's simple reply as he glanced down at his pocket. "I do however have some errands to attend to."

"I'll meet you at the Hog's Head then!" Mark smiled, nearly skipping off to the tavern through a group of kids; his tie flapping in the wind. "Have a good day Professor Snape."

Snape stalked off, pushing past more students and pretending to be invisible. If anyone heard him actually being decent to Thatcher of all people, he would be ruined. He entered a deserted alleyway between two buildings and let Lichen out.

"You…you said…" Lichen managed to stammer as he flew out of Snape's pocket. "You said you'd kill him!"

"It's only a figure of speech Lichen," Snape explained, trying to comfort the fairy. But it was too late; Lichen was crying once again. "I wasn't going to kill Thatcher."

"Are you going to try and kill me?" Lichen said his eyes wide with terror. "Are you going to do it since I'm nice to you?"

"Don't be stupid Lichen," Snape sneered at the faerie. "I wouldn't kill you."

"No, you're the one who's stupid!" Lichen yelled, as he flew away into the village. "You make everyone who's nice to you go away! Well, I'm going away too!"

With that, Lichen disappeared, leaving a shower of faerie tears behind instead of sparkles.

CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D

"He's so prickly!" Lichen sobbed into a leaf handkerchief as he flutter between Honeydukes and another shop. "I'll never get the thorns out of him…NEVER!"

"There there little faerie," came the reassuring voice of another male wizard behind him. "You shouldn't get so worked up about things like that; some people can't help but be mean."

"Who are you?" Lichen said, tucking his handkerchief away and allowing his glow to brighten. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Let's just say I'm a collector," the man smiled; his teeth straight and white. He was neatly groomed and appeared far less intimidating than Severus. "I collect different types of candy."

"CANDY!" Lichen beamed, as the man took out a Pumpkin Pasty. "I LOVE CANDY!"

"I thought you would," the man said as Lichen began to scarf down the treat. "All faeries love candy; it's in their nature. Being extremely stupid is also one of their more desirable traits."

Before Lichen knew it, he was clasped between the man's two hands. He struggled to get free, but faeries are not very good when they are in a confined space. Any passing student would just think Larry Hawke had caught a rat.

Hawke smiled as he shoved the faerie in his zippered pocket. He was a fine specimen; a fine one indeed. An upper-class faerie was always good, they made the best ingredients. This stupid sprite would make his potions customers very happy.

"Hello Hawke," came a soft voice that Larry recognized immediately. It was one of his prized customers; not everyone served Hogwarts' Potions Master. He would be very pleased to know that faerie wings would be well-stocked.

"Salutations Professor Snape," Hawke replied, tipping his ever-present fedora at the wizard. "What brings you here?"

"I could ask the same of you," Severus said. "I have students to supervise. What are you doing?"

"Browsing," Hawke said non-chalantly. "Have to get the wife a birthday present, you know."

"Have you gotten her anything yet?" Snape raised an eyebrow as he flicked his eyes towards the man's pocket. "Something she would enjoy?"

"You know my Debbie's a very picky woman," Hawke smiled. With brown hair and robes, he rather resembled the bird of prey. "But maybe I'll get lucky."

"You are lucky Laurence," Snape sneered, jabbing a finger at his sparkly pocket. "You're lucky I'm not going to report you to the Ministry for faerie-hunting out of season. Now let that faerie out at once before I make sure you never work again!"

Hawke's eyes grew wide as the surly teacher made him release the faerie. Lichen flew out in a shower of sparkles, covering the collector with glitter from head to toe. Snape watched in amusement as Hawke ran off, trying desperately to get the glitter out of his hair. When the man was a decent distance away, he burst into laughter.

"Is there really a faerie-hunting season?" Lichen asked, a worried look on his face. "Should I warn my parents?"

"I made all that up," Snape smiled as the faerie sat on his shoulder. "And the fool actually believed me!"

"Good," Lichen said, his past woes forgotten. "He was more prickly than a nettle."

"Oh, I got you this," Snape said, taking out a package of Every-Flavor Beans. He had shrunk it so that it was Lichen-sized. "I hope you enjoy them. However, you will have to eat them in my pocket for the time being. I have a…friend to meet."

And with Lichen in his pocket munching away happily on his candy, Snape stalked off towards the Hog's Head to meet Mark Thatcher for a drink.

CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D CANDY:D

Hope you enjoyed it and please review!