AN - Hey, Thanks for everyone reading this. Hope you are enjoying it. :)
So sorry, my last post I have come to realize was a repost of the last chapter oops. Thanks to the anon that let me know. :)
If the change had been gradual Yang might not have questioned it as strongly. Had it happened over time she might think it a natural development in their relationship. If Blake hadn't gone from affectionate to distant in a matter of days Yang probably wouldn't have found herself nervously standing outside Blake's apartment. She'd been pacing the hallway for more than ten minutes trying to decide if she should knock and confront Blake on her change of attitude, or if she should just ignore it, go home, and hope Blake was back to normal in a few more days.
In a few days; that wouldn't work.
In a few days time Blake would not be here. She would be miles away, in Menagerie, visiting her parents for spring break. If she didn't confront Blake now, it would have to wait over a week. By then, who knows where they would stand. If Blake was second guessing their relationship Yang wanted to at least have a chance to comfort her concerns before she was too far away for her to reach.
Gathering her courage she finally knocked on the door. It wasn't long before it swung open and a petite red-head came into view.
"Yeah?" Her voice was shrill and grated on Yang's eardrums.
"Is Blake home?"
"Who's asking?"
"Me," she answered, getting fed up. "Now is she here or not?"
"Jenna, who is it?" Blake's familiar voice carried from the other side of the door.
"Some girl is asking for you." Jenna looked her up and down. "She won't give her name. It's kinda creepy. Should I shut the door on her?"
Blake came into view over Jenna's shoulder.
"Yang? What are you doing here?" She stepped in front of her roommate. With one more glance at Yang, Jenna returned to the interior of the apartment.
"Can't a girl come see her girlfriend before she leaves for a week?" Yang teased, smile returning in Blake's comforting presence.
"Of course she can," she returned the smile. "I just thought we said our goodbyes already."
"That was two days ago. You didn't think I wouldn't come by for a proper goodbye, did you?" Trepidation returned as Yang's fears were confirmed. Blake would have left without saying goodbye if Yang hadn't shown up at her door. "Can we talk?"
"Oh!" She sounded surprised. "If you'd like." She glanced over her shoulder debating if the apartment was safe with Jenna home.
"We can go for a walk." Yang suggested. "I know you're probably busy packing so I won't take up much of your time."
Blake nodded, grabbed her keys and led Yang out of the building. She automatically turned right, continuing on down the street as if in habit, heading towards the park. They walked quietly side by side. The silence lasted until they found an empty bench in the park overlooking the pond. The ducks and geese that recently returned from the south swam circles around each other.
Yang wished she could read Blake's mind. What she wouldn't give to know what was going on in there. The longer the silence prevailed the more distraught Yang became. Knowing this couldn't continue Yang decided to be the one to break the uneasy quiet between them.
"Is everything okay?"
"Of course. Why do you ask?" Surprise evident in her voice.
"You've been quiet, is all."
"I was waiting for you to speak." Blake's words turned prickly. "You asked to talk. I assumed you had something on your mind and I was just letting you gather your thoughts."
"No, not today. Well… yeah today. But also yesterday and the day before. It's been longer than a week." Yang failed to explain.
"I don't understand."
"I just…" she started second guessing herself. It was becoming apparent Blake didn't see any change in their relationship. Maybe Yang was just panicking because this was the longest and farthest Blake would be away from her since they started dating. "No, I couldn't have imagined-"
"Yang, you aren't making any sense."
She took a moment to catch her thoughts; something she should have done on their way to the park like Blake had assumed.
"We used to talk all day, everyday. We used to make sure if we couldn't see each other one day we would at least find the time to call." Her eyes implored Blake to understand. She didn't know how much longer her words would last. She'd never been good at portraying her emotions through words, but no actions could properly portray what was going on in her head. "Then… it just seemed to abruptly change. A week ago you just started taking longer to answer my texts, you didn't seem to mind us not seeing each other every day. Nor did you mind when we hardly spoke at all yesterday or that the two days before. You'll be gone for a week and we never spent anytime just being together. And yesterday you never answered when I phoned and you never called back."
"Yan-"
"And it's been completely obvious that distance doesn't bother you. Maybe you haven't seen it like I have. Maybe it doesn't matter to you like it matters to me, but finding out you weren't even going to say goodbye to me before leaving…" Yang tore her eyes away as she choked on the words. She despised weakness. She hated feeling inadequate, but that's what this situation made her feel. "It hurt to realize you could walk away so easily from me."
"That's completely untrue."
"Is it?" Her voice rose, more angry with the tears gathering behind her eyes than with Blake.
"You're mad."
"I'm upset. I want to know what changed. I want to know what's going on in your head." Yang looked away, defeated. "Maybe that's just never going to happen."
The quiet pervaded and Yang tried to focus on the leaves stirring in the spring breeze or the far off screams and laughter of small children. Anything to distract her from the agonizing stiffness developing between them.
"I'm sorry."
After two days of not laying eyes on her, now Yang couldn't bring herself to look at Blake. What was she sorry for? For distancing herself? For how it made her feel? Or was she sorry because she didn't feel the same way? Maybe Blake just didn't miss her the way she missed Blake. Was that such a horrible thing? It wasn't the first time Yang developed stronger feelings for someone. It was just the first time she thought she wouldn't have to worry about that.
"For what?" Yang finally spat, not able to stand the unknown anymore.
"For not being what you need. I understand I can be a lot and if it's getting to be too much…" It was Blake's turn to avert her eyes, becoming overly fixated on a single daffodil swaying in the grass at her feet. "I'd understand if you don't want to see me anymore."
"Why would you say that?" Yang started to panic. This was the last thing she wanted to come from their talk. "I never said I wanted to break up."
"You don't?"
"No! But now I'm starting to think you do." Yang stood and stepped away from the bench, giving her the distance she was in need of.
"I don't-"
"Then why suggest it?" Yang accused further. "Why say it if it's not what you want?"
The splashes from the pond drew her eye. The waterfowl quacked and spread their wings at one another before dipping below the water's surface. Their tail feathers turned skyward.
She felt Blake's presence as she joined her.
"Yang, look at me please." Blake's voice was soft. Yang wasn't surprised when she obeyed. There was no way she would deny Blake anything, even if it hurt to do so. "I'm so sorry if I made you feel like you weren't important to me. That is the last thing I want." She gripped Yang's hand tightly with both of hers, as if she thought Yang might pull away. It scared her to a point she wasn't sure she wanted to hear Blake's next words. "I have noticed. I've pulled away the past week. You're right."
Blake's mouth hung and her bottom lip started trembling. She tried two or three times to continue but couldnt seem to form the correct words. Yang tightened her own hold, wrapping her fingers more securely around Blake's smaller ones. The act seemed to strengthen Blake's resolve.
"I pulled back, not to cause you pain, but to make myself stronger."
"What do you mean?" Yang asked. "Do I make you feel weak or-"
"No!" She exclaimed. "The opposite really."
"Then…" Yang tried to make sense of Blake's words but failed. "I really don't understand."
"I… I've been relying on you lately. So I thought if I maybe put some space, just a l-" Frustrated she tried to pull away but Yang held her tight. Something told her Blake needed this connection as much as she did. "I am stronger with you, Yang. I'm more confident and more at ease whenever you're around. I sit in my room and I wait for your texts or calls and each time my phone rings or buzzes my heart skips a beat. Each time I lay eyes on you I get these…" she laughed and it was such an unexpected change in her behaviour that it jolted Yang. "It's so cliche to talk about butterflies in your stomach. It could ruin a perfectly good book for me and maybe that's because I'd never felt it before. Maybe I thought it wasn't real. But that's the easiest way to describe the feeling I get whenever you're around."
"Isn't that a good thing. Aren't those good feelings?"
"They are. But by relying on you to make me happy, or to make me feel strong or…Because I'm not as happy without you it just felt, logically to me, like I was becoming weak. I've always been independent, Yang. I've always been on my own and relied on no one but myself."
"I know." Yang smiled softly, well aware of the loneliness of Blake's past. "But you don't have to do any of this on your own anymore. If you just let me in."
"It's hard. Yang, I want to be able to fix this -to fix me- but it's easier for me to withdraw into myself. It's a habit, or self preservation or something. I don't know. It hurt to distance myself from you and I was prepared for that. But I never thought of how it would affect you and for that I'm so sorry. I can't promise I won't fall back to it again but I can promise I'll try to do better moving forward."
"That's all I can ask. I just didn't know if I'd done something wrong or if you were having second thoughts about us."
"You have been amazing and the last thing I want to do is to lose you."
"You won't." Yang leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to Blake's waiting lips. "I'm going to miss you this week."
"I'll miss you too." Blake responded, connecting their lips for longer. When they pulled back both wore wide grins.
"Let's head back." Interlocking their fingers Yang guided them out of the park. "You still need to pack and to get a good rest. You have to be up early tomorrow."
"Always looking out for me."
"Always." Yang responded resolutely.
When they arrived at her apartment Blake reached to unlock the door but Yang invaded her space, pressing her up against the door. She leaned in but hesitated just before their lips met. Blake growled at her teasing and tilted her head to make up the distance. What started off as sweet pecks in between shared smiles soon turned more intense. Remembering this would be the last time she'd see Blake for a week had her pressing forward to reduce the space between them. Blake moaned into her mouth as their bodies pressed closer.
The noise sobered Yang. She realized this was not the time nor the place to get into that. She left one last lingering kiss on Blake's lips before she stepped back. The sight of Blake with her eyes half closed and mouth parted, as if expecting Yang's lips to return any moment did something to Yang. Internally she struggled, relying on her confidence to strengthen her resolve.
"Give Rosco a hug for me okay? I miss the little guy."
"You'll miss me too, right?"
"More than a little. But not as much as Rosco."
"I see where I stand in this relationship."
Blake was still laughing as the door closed behind her. Yang glanced once more at the closed door before turning to retreat.
The only thing going through her mind was just how much she would miss Blake. And the thought of how easily she was falling for her wouldn't leave her alone. It wouldn't be long before she found herself head-over-heels in love with the girl. But unlike with previous relationships she found herself running towards the feeling rather than from it.
Holding the door she let Blake enter first. As always, Yang received a grateful smile in return for her chivalry. Yang followed, intent to remain close. They'd been separated for far too long in her mind and she yearned to make up for lost time.
"You find a table and I'll get our order?" Yang asked rocking back and forth, heel to toe. Why the hell was she nervous?
"Sounds good to me." Blake scanned the establishment for an empty table and Yang watched on knowing she'd be looking for one out of the way of most patrons. When Blake's eyes returned to find Yang's feet still cemented to the floor she chuckled. At least she found her antsy behaviour more endearing than annoying. "You going to actually place the order or should I do that too?"
"Oh, right." Yang quickly stepped past her. "No. No, I'll get our order. You just continue scrutinizing every table. Hopefully you find a suitable one by the time I get back."
"That's rude." Blake deadpanned.
Yang spun on her heel, surprised at Blake's affronted appearance. It was a joke. She hadn't meant it in a negative light. She actually thought Blake's over analyzation on certain things adorable.
"I'm s-"
The corner of Blake's mouth twitched catching Yang's attention. It was only then that she noticed the sparkle in her amber eyes. Blake was toying with her!
"You're so easy!" Blake broke character seeing the realization take over Yang's features. "You are totally off your game Xiao Long."
"You will pay for this," she said with narrowed eyes.
Rolling her eyes, Blake moved to step around her heading for a table that must have checked the majority of her personal requirements. Yang's arm shot out to block her way.
Her brow raised as she turned her perplexed gaze on Yang. She couldn't help herself anymore. Blake had been very sly and playful since Yang picked her up. She might play up her exasperation whenever Bratty Blake showed herself but honestly she fell even more in love with Blake in these moments. Who else could keep her on her toes like this. It amazed her how in the first few months of their acquaintance she had pegged Blake as a quiet, shy bookworm. The reality was quite the opposite. Actually, that was a lie. Blake could be shy. She could be quiet. She was most definitely a bookworm, but those things were just a small portion of who she was. It astonished her with how much she knew about Blake that the other was still able to surprise her. Blake was still able to throw curveballs at her.
And maybe that's why that magnetism never went away. Yang was happy to find that the pull she'd felt in the beginning of their friendship never once faded.
Her patience wore down as Yang continued to stare at her unmoving. When her mouth opened to form a question Yang made her move. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Blake's right cheek, barely skimming the corner of her mouth.
"Oh!" Blake exclaimed, eyes widening in surprise and delight.
Yang left her standing dumbstruck just inside the entrance and made her way to the counter. They'd been here so many times in the past it was useless asking if Blake wanted to try something new. Once that girl decided on something she liked that was it. There wasn't anyway anyone could change her mind.
Order in hand she made her way to the table Blake selected against the far back wall.
"Strawberry and Lime milkshake for milady." Yang set the cold glass on the table by Blake's elbow before falling into the booth across from her.
"Why thank you…" the last word trailed with an air of slyness which caught her attention. "My peasant." Blake finished with a wide smile.
Yang's jaw dropped, but Blake seemed not to care. She pulled the frosted glass gift Yang brought her closer and took a sip. She moaned as the flavours hit her tongue.
Yang wasn't about to let the comment go though.
"Peasant? Really?"
Blake nodded resolutely.
"But, a peasant? That's so mean."
"Hey, the world was built off the hard labour of peasants." Blake explained. "Besides, if you are going to be my chauffeur, call me milady, hold doors open for me and bring me food and drinks, -basically be at my beck and call- all I'm saying is if the shoe fits."
"Brat."
"What was that?" Blake questioned. "You were kind of mumbling."
"I called you a Brat with a capital B."
"So much for milady, huh? Too bad. I think I could have gotten used to that one."
Yang rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her raspberry shake. She watched as Blake sucked back a good portion of her glass.
"You should slow down with that," she warned.
"Why? Afraid I'm going to get fat?" She queried as she took another large sip, challenging Yang with a glare.
"Hardly." Yang responded shaking her head. "That kind of thing doesn't matter to me."
Blake took one more sip before pushing her half empty glass to the side. She smiled softly at Yang, her teasing mien disappearing at her words. A drop of cream clung to her bottom lip and it took all Yang's willpower not to lean over the table to lick it clean.
A twitch at the corner of Blake's eye was Yang's first clue something was wrong. The hiss that escaped through Blakes gritted teeth was the next.
"What's the matter?" Yang leaned forward, reaching her hand to take a hold of Blake's elbow in support.
"Brain freeze," Blake wheezed and Yang could feel her knee jump under the table as it brushed against her own.
"And this is what I was warning you about." Yang tsked. The next moan to leave Blake's lips was not one of pleasure and it nearly broke her heart. "Oh, Blake." Yang hated to see her in pain, even if it was only due to ice cream. Even if the pain was self inflicted and totally preventable if she'd just taken her advice. Yang pushed her glass out of the way to get better access as she placed her palm along the side of Blake's neck. "Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth and breathe through your nose." Pressing her index and middle finger she drew a small line into the hairline at the back of Blake's neck. She continued until Blake's knee stopped tapping her own.
"Thanks," Blake voiced meekly. "Guess it's my own fault for being a brat again, huh?"
Yang released her hold to the back of Blake's neck and traced her fingers along her jaw in their retreat. She took this moment to take in the other's beauty. She still felt like some sort of stalker when she stared too long, but sometimes she just couldn't help herself. Her fingers dipped to cup Blake's chin and Yang allowed her thumb to trace the length of Blakes bottom lip. Blake must have been short on breath after the brain freeze; if the gasp she took in was any indication.
Releasing Blake completely she brought her thumb to her own lips. Humming as her tongue flicked out to taste the drop she'd collected from Blake's lips.
"I can see why you like that flavour so much." Yang smiled as Blake tucked her chin in, staring down at her hands in embarrassment. "And you have nothing to apologize for."
Blake scoffed.
"I'm serious. I love your bratty side, even if it seems to be the bane of my existence some days. You keep me guessing and I wouldn't trade it for the world, okay?"
Nodding her head, Blake picked up her glass to bring the straw to her lips. Yang raised her brow quizzically.
"Don't worry," she said taking a small sip. "I will be careful. I do not want a repeat of that."
"Can I have a taste?" Yang asked, staring at what was left in her glass.
"Didn't you already get one?" Her teasing smirk returned, but she pushed the glass towards Yang in silent acquiescence.
"I wouldn't mind a repeat." Yang shot her own teasing smirk across the table.
Blake roared in laughter. "There's the Yang I know and love. Where have you been hiding?"
"I was just silently enjoying your company." Yang said quietly. Honestly.
She took a sip, letting the flavours swirl around her tongue before swallowing. She approved. It was definitely a good combination. Blake's countenance turned serious as Yang passed the drink back.
"Blake?"
"I missed you," she almost whispered. "Is that weird?"
"Why would that be weird?" Her hand tightened around Blake's elbow, silently encouraging her.
"I've not been gone a full week, but I missed you so much." Blake looked like she was upset with herself over the confession. She wouldn't look Yang in the eye no matter how far Yang dipped her head to try and catch sight of their beautiful amber tones. "I've never missed anyone like that before. I-" Her eyes darted to anyone in earshot, anyone but Yang. "Is that wrong?"
"Is what wrong?" Yang wasn't sure if she meant missing her or not missing others in the same way.
"Missing you. Like that."
"Does it feel wrong?"
Yang could feel her heart hammering in her throat. She swallowed to force a blockage down that didn't exist. Anxiety over Blake's next answer creeped up on her causing her nerves to turn jittery. Why was she taking so long to answer?
"No." Blake finally responded and Yang was able to breathe once more. "That's the thing. It doesn't feel wrong at all."
"I missed you so fucking much" Yang laughed. "Ruby kicked me out twice this week because I was annoying her with how much I spoke about you."
"Seriously?" Skepticism apparent in her tone.
"Ask Ruby yourself. She came up with this whole theory that since I couldn't see you I quadrupled the amount I'd say your name to fool myself into thinking you weren't really gone." Yang's laughter died. "So if it's wrong to feel this way we can be wrong together."
"I like that."
"Good, that's settled." Blake moved to grasp Yang's hand in her own, squeezing it firmly three times. "Just," Yang squeezed back three times, "don't ever go away again."
Blake smiled at her childish wish. "I can't promise that." Yang pouted. "But I can say you are more than welcome to join me next time."
"You mean…" Yang trailed off as the blood drained from her face.
"Yup. My dad is particularly eager to meet you."
Prompts for this chapter were Frail and Frozen
-JJ