Chapter 3:

"What lies beneath will resurface. . ."

I was sort of in a rush to get upstairs. I wanted to call Angel and Mimi to dish about my new roommate, who had to be THE best roommate anyone could ask for. I began to grab bags out the trunk. I took over half, leaving a few for Alice, but she was on her cell phone. I threw an apologetic glance her way -she waved at me and mouthed for me to go- I smiled again and began walking back to the building. It was drastically cooler in the building compared to the outdoor weather. I shivered and then a cold hand was grasping at bags in my hand. I looked up more startled than anything. "Bella -his voice was so beautiful- Let me help you." he said with a smile. I smiled back and let him grab a few. "So what are you doing, stalking me?" I joked halfheartedly and he laughed with me, "You wish… -he paused, chuckling to himself- But no, I was actually waiting down here, Alice told me to me you here." I grimaced, "I see… Well I'm perfectly capable of walking to my room by myself-" he put a cool finger to my lips, "Please Bella, Just let me help. I promise I won't bother you again… If that's what you want and everything" his lips pulled up at the corner -such a beautiful smile- I felt rude staring so I forced my eyes away. "If you want, I'm sorry you had to do this. I know it's the last thing you want to do… you probably have a girlfriend… a life and the last thing you want to do is spend it helping me. I'm sorry about intruding-" he cut me off -yeesh what was with him- immediately talking so that I couldn't pick up where I left off. "Bella, you're absurd. I would love nothing more than to hang out with you, but you seem to be appalled by my behavior towards you so I understand-" I cut him off then -ha ha- and began, "I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, I just thought you might have other important things to do, but, if you want to… we can."

He smiled his crooked smile and stepped off the elevator. "Well then, how's about tonight? We could watch a movie or something. It's supposed to storm pretty bad so we might want to stay in doors." I just nodded and dug around in my pocket for my key -aha- I opened the door and let him in ahead of me. I immediately felt ashamed at how unorganized our room was, but then again, I didn't really care. "Nice literature he said." I glanced up and he was looking at my book collection. "Yeah, thanks. What kind are you into?" he smiled crookedly at me again -stopping my heart, scattering my mind- and replied, "The same as you, with some exceptions. Kind of high levels for reading isn't it? I mean most students don't read stuff this good." I smiled back and excused myself to the bathroom. I brushed through my hair and washed my face. I really wanted to soak again… but now wasn't the time. The phone rang and I bolted out the door. "Hello?" I asked almost breathless. Edward sat down and stared off into space; he picked up a book and started to read. "One sec Angel -I covered the mouth piece- This is going to be a while, I'll meet up with you later. Sorry" he smiled and put the book back. "Works for me, I'll see you at dinner -he walked up to me and stroked my face slowly, of course I blushed- bye." he walked out and closed the door. I sighed as soon as I heard it click. "Hello? Yes, Sorry about that. I had to get rid of some company."

Angel: Hun, who was it? Dish, I want all the details.

Bella: Oh Angel, I absolutely love it here - I sat down on my bed- My roommate is the BEST and I'm friends with her siblings. They seem nice enough. But she has this brother…

Angel: Oh I'm sorry, is he being nice? I hope so, lord knows you need a break… -she paused- … and a new man -he laughed-.

Bella: Oh it's completely the opposite. He's absolutely gorgeous! And he is so sweet and nice and… And… -I couldn't form complete sentences so I just laughed-

Angel and I talked for about fifteen more minutes and I heard Collins moving around. "Well, I will call you back later… after my date -I said laughing- Yes, yes I will tell you everything that happens. I love you too. Miss you all; send my love to everyone, kisses hon. Bye". I hung the phone up and lay back on my bed. Today had been exhausting but I was keyed up and couldn't wait until I saw Edward's face again. As much as I knew that he was out of my league, I still couldn't help hoping. I got up and in that moment Alice came bumbling in -as graceful as a ballerina- "Oh, Bella! You should let me do your hair and makeup for dinner tonight. I'll let you dress yourself… If you want that is" she said with a sigh that hid more than just pure generosity. "Alice thanks. I'd appreciate that a lot, but I was wondering if you could pick out my outfit tonight. I want something casual though." she beamed from ear to ear and jumped up and down screaming, then threw herself into my arms as she hugged me.

Rap, Rap, Rap

Three knocks came at the door then. Alice went to get it. There, in all her beautiful blonde glory, stood Rosalie. "Rose, I thought you would never get here." Alice said laughing and letting Rosalie into the room. "Like I would miss this, Tell me what to do and I'm on it" Alice thought for a minute and then pushed me into the closet again. "Here, you start on Bella's hair -she pulled and twisted my hair the way she wanted it- and then I'll pick out the outfit, and then I'll need your help with her makeup" Rosalie nodded and got to work. I sighed, both aggravated and content. Aggravated because I was playing the roll as Princess Barbie with two painfully gorgeous girls and content because I had an unofficial date with the mysterious and beautiful Edward Cullen. I laughed silently to myself.

"Okay -Rosalie said- How do you like your hair?" she said smiling -satisfied I assumed- and twirling me in the chair to face the mirror. "Wow-" I sat there, my mouth hanging open like an idiot once again "Oh my goodness, Rosalie, This is amazing! I love it! Oh thanks so much…" I smiled at her in the mirror. "And Alice, wow, I-I look like a total babe" I said laughing. They both joined in, I was quickly ashamed of my laugh because theirs was like a chorus of bells that no one could resist listening to. "Well thanks Bella, But really, you're just a total babe, believe it or not". They both laughed and we heard someone knocking at the door. "Hurry Bella, get dressed. I'll get the door and stall. Then we will meet you both down at the dinning hall." and with that they both laughed with smiled one last goodbye.

I got dressed in a hurried-trance like state. So nervous that I didn't know my left from my right. Finally I was dressed, I smoothed my collar out on the brilliant blue blouse I wore and smoothed my pants out and double checked my flats. Perfect I thought to myself. I smiled, practicing facial expressions in the mirror, and then I decided I had wasted enough time in front of the vanity and I cracked the door and walked out. Edward stood there, dressed casually but still snazzy, he smiled at me. "Wow, Bella you look beautiful. Shall we?" he motioned for me to take his arm; I blushed and took it walking out in front of him to the elevator.

It felt awkward standing in the elevator with him; I hadn't the slightest clue as to what to say to him. But he broke the silence, "Bella, Calm down. It will be alright. If you don't want to hang out later… Just tell me, okay?" his crooked smile appeared and I smiled back, "No, I'm alright and I don't mind. I'm just thinking why on earth you would want to hang out with me…" I laughed a shaky laugh and glanced up at him. His face was confused. But then we were at the main floor, we stepped out and walked down to the dining hall. He paid for my food - against my better judgment- and led me to a table. It wasn't our usual table; it was secluded in a quiet dim corner with a lamp on the table as the only light source. I sat with an impish smile and he sat as well. He smiled again -god, I loved that smile- I smiled back and folded my napkin across my lap. "This is nice, very… private." I said with another smile. "Well, I thought it was only best and that… maybe we could use some privacy. I have something to tell you - he paused- but I don't know how or what to expect from you. You aren't like other girls I've met, and it scares me a little." I watched as he followed my process with the napkin, "I'm not sure what you mean, I mean… I know I'm different, but… you're scared? Why? I promise I won't hurt you -" I stopped mid sentence. I thought of a time back in New York, with Mike… I quickly banned that thought from my mind. I hated to think about him on perfect nights like these.

Edward caught up on my mood and asked the inevitable, "What are you thinking, Bella?" I saw the curiosity burning in his topaz colored eyes, and I blurted out the truth. "I was thinking about an ex-boyfriend, something you said reminded me of him. I'm sorry." I felt like an imbecile for spilling my mind like that, but something told me I really wanted no secrets between us. "Oh, I see. Well what about him? Why are you so private about your other life before here… -he paused- I mean I notice how you wince in pain sometimes when people question you about your previous friends and lifestyle…? Why is that?" I felt the tears trail down my cheeks, I couldn't do this. Not here, not now, not with this gorgeous boy sitting across from me. "Would you understand what I meant if I said a secret was better left untold?" confusion crossed his face but he nodded, "If that's what you want, although I am curious. But case closed no more questions. How do you like the new school?"

I smiled and we chatted happily on lighter subjects after that. We talked about our favorite colors, books, gem stones, seasons, and movies. But the night was fading away and getting into the early hours. I stood up reluctantly and he smiled. "I had a great evening tonight, thanks for joining me" he walked around the table and grabbed my hand -it was ice cold, just like Alice's and alarmingly smooth- I brushed it off as nothing and walked with him. We reached my door and stood there. I studied his face and he looked like he was debating with himself. I gave him a few moments. "Well, we should do this again sometime soon." I sighed, "Yes, we should. I had a really great time tonight" he pulled my hand up still held inside his and brushed my cheek, "Why don't we watch movies tonight at my room?" he asked in almost a whisper. I thought it over, "I'd like that, as long as… your brothers or roommate are okay with It." he chuckled silently -it was adorable- and brought my hand up on his shoulder. I left it there, "Don't worry about them, silly Bella." I watched him carefully as he lowered his face, the moment growing more and more intense. My heart sped and felt myself blushing -how pitiful, he hadn't even kissed me yet- and then, with the slightest touch -as light as a feather- his lips met mine. It was amazing; the feeling couldn't even be described. I kissed him with more intensity, and he pulled me closer -he was laughing, he was laughing! - And continued to kiss me… I was panting when he finally pulled back, his breath coming as fast as mine. I smiled at him and turned and went inside. I shut the door behind me and sighed as I slid to the floor. I was happy, hyper, and oh so very content.

"OH MY GOSH! Bella, you're back! How was it? How was it?" Alice was flinging herself onto the floor next to me sitting directly in front of me her beautiful face resting on my knees. I smiled at her and just shook my head. "It… was… amazing" I finally let the words escape my lips. "I think that was the best time I've had in a long time." I smiled and closed my eyes. I caught a glance at the digital clock on the nightstand and jumped up. Alice was a step ahead of me -how that happened, I have no clue- and she was asking me what was wrong.

I flung my bags and stuff around looking for my medicine bag. "I found it." Alice called and tossed it to me. I realized how late it actually was and I crawled up on my bed and started to cry. I could feel the makeup running down my face but I didn't care, I couldn't. I was screwed and I had no one here for emotional support. I could always call Angel -as soon as I thought that, I felt dumb and stashed it away- I could call Mimi, she would be getting off of work…

I picked up the phone and ran into the bathroom. I turned on the shower -low and buzzing- and sat in the bathtub, as far away from the door as possible.

Mimi: "Hello?"

Bella: "Mimi, it's me, Bella. I need your help. I skipped my AZT today and I don't know what to do." I heard her gasp and then there was some sort of whistling noise -was she running- then I heard Angel's name being called.

Mimi: "Bella, are you still there?"

Bella: "Yes, please… Please don't tell Angel, I cannot bear to disappoint her…"

Angel: "Hon, don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. Just listen to what I tell you. I'm going to need you to go take your medicine. And I'll call around and see what I can do about your blood. I know you took that cocaine with you, now toss it down the sink and I want to hear the water running. Please, Bella… all of it. We don't want to have another close call, now do we?"

Bella: -I felt the tears running down my cheeks- "N-no -I stumbled over the words and did what Angel told me- Okay, it's all gone. I swear to you, it is."

Angel: "Good, now I'm not at home right now, but as soon as I get there I will look that up for you and I will call you when its morning, ok hon."

Bella: "I don't know how to thank you, but please… Keep this between you and Mimi, I can't have the others worrying about me as well… "I sat down on the tub's edge again and started to cry again.

Angel: "Hon. Don't cry, it'll be alright, I promise, but you know… you know you need a confidant there because I can't always be there to make sure that you are okay…"

Bella: "I cant, not now… Another time… soon. I mean I just had the best night of my life, and now this." I started to sob again.

Angel: "WHAT?!?!"

Bella: "I went out on this date, with my roommate's brother -Edward Cullen I thought to myself- and it was THE best night of my life. And after he walked me to my dorm room again, he kissed me, and I'm pretty sure he won't want anything to do with me once…-"

Angel: "Child, don't worry about that. If that boy is worth your time… -No, she's fine, don't worry about anything- sorry, everyone was worried, but I'll keep it low. Remember what I said, tell someone. I love you and I will talk to you sooner than later. Night."

I hung up the phone with Angel and I felt a little better. Tomorrow morning I would go down to the dance studio and stretch it out some to relieve this stress before Angel called back again. But for the time being, I needed a hot shower. I ran the water again and stepped inside. The water felt amazing and the familiar scent of my favorite strawberry shampoo sent me into a familiar comfortable place. A place where I was normal, like everyone else, I didn't have to worry about anything and I could just dance the days and nights away and paint everything that happened within those days. Soon, I felt as though the shower was pointless because I was working myself up again by letting my mind wander. I felt dumb but I couldn't help it. I went to the sink and took some painkillers; all of a sudden I had a terrible headache.

I walked out into the room dressed in the new pajamas that Alice and I had bought today - a camisole top (bright pink) with matching pants that had blue pinstripes- it looked amazing on me, and they were extremely comfortable. I walked over and sat on my bed, crying spells always exhausted me. "Alice?" I asked, in almost a whisper. She put the book she was reading down, "Yes, Bella?" I watched her face, looking for any kind of distress in her features, there was nothing and so I continued, "We're like best friends right? I mean I could tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me… right?" she looked confused and moved over to my bed. "Bella, what's wrong?" I sighed and figured I might as well get over it, "Alice I -I sighed again and then continued- I'm HIV+." there, I finally said it. She looked at me, understanding crossed her face and then her cold arms were wrapped around my body -she was hugging me- "I'm so sorry, Bella. How are you doing? I swear, I will be the best friend you could have asked for, I won't ever leave your side." I smiled, I couldn't help it. I like Alice a lot and I wanted nothing more from her, than for her to not reject me like I thought she would. I looked up her and continued, "I also am a recovering cocaine addict -I whispered, looking down at my ankle messing with my anklet- and the reason why I don't talk about my past is because I lost one of my friends, and it was hard. He killed himself you know? It was the hardest time of my life, that's why I started doing drugs… it was a long night and I was so "high" that I forgot to be careful… And two years later, here I am. I should have been honest with you before, but … it's really hard to talk about you know. You probably hate me." I sighed and looked up at her face and it looked like she was crying, but there were no tears, just choking sounds - I stared curiously- and then I hugged her back and we sat there for the longest and cried. I told her about Mike Newton and how much I cared and missed him. She just listened and comforted me when I needed it.