Chapter 7: Forever changing. . .

"Wait…" I said breathlessly, looking up into his eyes. They were cautious and fear was hidden deep inside. "What is it?" he asked in a ragged voice. "I… I think we should wait. I mean this is… this is amazing, but we don't have to rush things…" I kissed him again. He nodded and rolled from over top of me. I pulled a blanket up over me and sat there. "Wow…" I said and he nodded in agreement. "Waiting is a good thing. I'd hate for something bad to happen…" I nudged him in his rib but I heard my knuckle crack at the gesture. I mouthed my pain silently. He laughed and pulled me down to his side. I could still faintly hear my heart pitter pattering out of whack inside my chest. "Your heart sounds like a humming bird's wings…" Edward said smiling. I ran my hands through his beautiful, bronze hair. "It's an off day when someone doesn't tell me my heart sounds like a humming bird" I said, my voice full of humiliation.

He traced my jaw line from my ear all the way to my chin and back up. I smiled at him and he lowered his face to my level and kissed me sweetly. Alice walked in and I jumped under the covers. Edward laughed at me, "Haven't you heard of knocking?" Alice smiled and twirled to the side of the bed where I was. "Bella?" she asked, lifting the covers. I snatched them back down and popped my head out "Yes…" she laughed, "What are you doing under the covers?" I saw Edward laugh. I cut my eyes at him, "Um.. Nothing. So what are you up to?" I asked with a shaky voice. She laughed with me, although I'm pretty sure she was laughing at me. Edward reached down and kissed me gently, I felt my heart began to speed and my cheeks burned with the heat of the blush.

"I just came to see if you guys were alright, well I know you are, but for the sake of everyone else. They seem to not believe me…" she said with a frown. "Well, we are just find. Now if you don't mind, we would like our privacy…" Edward said in overly polite voice. She laughed a shrilling laugh and ran out of the door. I sat with my mouth open, amazed because she looked so ghostly when she ran. I closed it and Edward pressed his cool, hard lips to mine again. There was so much passion in the kiss, I would have been ashamed if Alice was still here. "So, where were we?" he said smiling. I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to his chest. "I don't remember, but being with you has me tired… will you sing to me?" I asked after a few moments. He nodded, seeming pleased with my willingness. He hummed my lullaby and a bunch of unfamiliar, yet still just as comforting.

I soon fell into the comforts of drowsiness and succumbed to my imagination as it took me on a wild ride throughout the night and into the late morning.

I awoke to Edward staring down at me. His face was peaceful and serene. I smiled up at him and rolled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed. "Good morning…" he said, I smiled and kissed him. "How long have you been awake?" he sighed, "Bella, I haven't gone to sleep." I heard myself gasp, "No wonder you have those deep, dark circles under your eyes." I said with disapproval. He shook his head, "Bella… the circles aren't because of a lack of sleep. I'm a vampire -he winced- and I don't… well I cannot sleep… at all. The circles are because, I do need blood to survive, not human blood of course, but we Cullen's survive only off of animal blood. We call ourselves "vegetarians" And since I have been around you so much, well your blood… it is very appetizing to me and its hard. But you see, when the circles get too big, we must hunt, otherwise people will know that we are… different." I nodded and looked out the window. "Wow, the suns out today!" I nearly jumped off the bed. He laughed, "I tell you about the circles under my eyes and how I feed, and you are more worried about the sun being outside?" he said raising an eyebrow. I glowered at him, "No, but it caught me by surprise. I was thinking we could hang outside today and you could tell me more about yourself and your family." I watched his face and it went from peaceful all the way to regretful in a matter of seconds.

"Or… -I paused and swallowed- we could just hang out around your house… or if you don't want me-" I said and he grew angry. "Bella, don't be absurd! Of course I want you around. Without you, the day is as boring as the night. You are my life, now." he said, his voice growing more gentle as he saw the fear in my eyes.. And probably on my face as well. I sighed and got up from the bed. My legs were stiff, I stretched and groaned as I felt all of my joints pop and readjust. I smiled back at him and he laid there closing his eyes. "Bella… -he paused- Get dressed, quickly, please. I want to show you something, well try to show you at least." he sat up smiling and walked out of the room. As he left, Alice came in quickly behind him. She had some clothes in her arms. None of it looked too extravagant, but not necessarily my taste. "Here, put these on… hurry up a little will ya?" she added with a smile.

Jeans and a lacy blouse. Not totally me, but it was comfortable at least, so I couldn't complain. "Thanks Alice, but I could have worn the clothes I wore yesterday… I feel bad about having to wear your clothes…" she cut me the death stare. "Bella, don't be stupid. I love designing clothes and you are the perfect person for it." she said, walking up to my side and taking my hand. We walked downstairs and into the dimly lit living room. The sun had disappeared behind the thick clouds of Forks, Washington. I smiled when I saw Edward sitting on the couch next to Jasper, the game was on and my face fell. Guys plus sports game equal bad outcomes. But to my surprise Edward stood and motioned for me to come to him. I walked slowly across the room and he grabbed my hands in his and led me into the kitchen.

"So what would you like for breakfast, love?" he asked in a deadly seductive tone. I sat down and pretended to think. I wasn't much of a breakfast person, but for him I would do anything. "What do you have?" he put his hand under his chin and leaned against the counter behind him. "Cereal. Pancakes. Eggs and bacon. Toast. Yogurt…" he said, his list seeming to never end. I smiled at him, "Cereal?" I asked, "What kind?" he asked turning to face me again, "Surprise me." It was a matter of seconds before a bowl of honey nut cheerios were in front of me with a pitcher of milk and a glass of orange juice. "Err… thanks." I muttered. He simply smiled and came around to sit next to me. I felt self conscious as he watched me finish my cereal. He let me clean my dishes this time, and then I returned to sit next to him

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I stared off, following his gaze out the window. "Hmm… well I was going to take you to this special place, but I don't know if the weather will hold or let up…" he grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face. His skin was colder than usual, I shivered at the touch. "What's wrong Edward?" I asked in a whisper. Just then I saw Alice walk around the corner, her face mirroring Edward's. I shook his arm, but he didn't budge. "Someone… tell me what's wrong!?" I asked again, more hysterically. Then Alice shook her head and smiled, "Nothing. Don't worry about it Bella…" and she went hopping off into the other room, calling Jasper's name. I stared after Alice and then I remembered Edward was standing next to me. I turned to look back at him but he was no longer there. I stormed out of the kitchen and found Esme sitting on the couch, I walked over to her. "Hi. Have you seen…" I let the sentence drop off into the silence of the house. She stared up at me with what looked like tears in her eyes. I sat down immediately and took her hand in mine. "What's wrong? Why is everyone freaking out?" I asked, looking in her eyes I saw the same fear and confusion that Alice and Edward had had in theirs.

Carlisle walked into the room then, he had a bright and friendly aura that surrounded him. "Ah, Bella. How are you this morning? Hope everything is alright…" he stared down at Esme for a moment and then back up at me. "Edward and Alice and Jasper had something they needed to take care of… something came up that couldn't wait. I'm afraid you'll have to stay here, that is, if you don't mind?" he asked, gesturing for Esme to stand up and then he took her into his arms. I saw his lips moving but heard nothing. I felt a little calmer, and replied, "If you don't mind… I would love to stay. You're home is so… beautiful and peaceful." They smiled at me and nodded. They left me in the living room and I just sat and stared out the window for a while, then bored soon of that. I made my way up to Edward's bedroom and sat on his bed. He had an amazing view, and on the dresser, the candles from the night before were still there. I smiled to myself and laid back on the pillows. I couldn't believe my life right now.

I had the most amazing boyfriend, who, was also a vampire and thirsted for my blood constantly. Thinking about him gave me a pang of fear in my stomach that twisted and stabbed like little icy knives lodged inside of me. I sat up, I didn't want to think about him right now. I didn't know what was going on, but from the looks that Carlisle and Esme shared, it wasn't good. I got up and roamed his room. He had so much in here. I saw a guitar and I picked it up. I never knew he played, but then again I didn't know he played the piano either. I took it back to his bed and strummed some chords gently. It was already tuned, I grabbed some paper and a pencil, but when I had it, there were notes. I slowly strummed away the chords that were written and it was so sweet. I began to scribble words down, not really knowing where or why these words came, but I felt like I had to write them down or I would lose them forever. I wrote for what seemed like hours and played around with the chords until they matched what I wanted. The finished product brought tears to my eyes…

Love of my life, My soul mate

You're my best friend

Part of me like breathing

Now half of me is left

I don't know anything at all

Who am I to say you love me

I don't know anything at all

& who am I to say you need me

Color me blue, I'm lost in you

Don't know why I'm still waiting

Many moons have come & gone

Don't know why I'm still searching

I began to sing it out loud not realizing I had an audience. Edward walked over to the bed and sat down near me. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. He took my face between his hands and kissed me softly. I smiled, "It's rude to listen in on people and not tell them you're there." he just smiled, "Well technically I'm entitled to do so because it is my room…" I kissed him again and got up to put the guitar away. He sat there and I felt his eyes burning through me. I turned around and he was right there behind me. I hadn't realized he had turned the stereo on. A slow, romantic melody was playing in the background. He grabbed me around my waist and began to twirl me slowly around his room. "Bella, I love you and I know its wrong and that I shouldn't, but I cant help it. You've had me at hello, and forever is what I want with you." he bent his head down and kissed me fervently. I sighed and looked into his eyes -golden honey- and touched his cheek gently, "I love you too. And I don't think that I could live without you, Edward, you are my everything. I want forever with you too." I kissed him again and he pushed me towards the bed, managing to kick the door closed in the process. I sighed when I felt the bed underneath my body. He got up and lit two bedside candles and joined me again.

I sighed and touched his face. He caught my hand and brought it to his face, kissing my hand… my fingers, lingering as I watched him. He took his time. He didn't seem to be in any hurry. He kissed my cheeks next and I closed my eyes, focusing on his lips as the brushed my skin -so soft and gentle like a butterfly's wing- as they made their way to my now eager lips. I moaned softly into his ear as he pulled his weight overtop of me. We gazed into each others eyes for what seems like eternity, and yet, I didn't want it to end even though my body wanted other things. He started to undo my shirt and succeeded very fast, tossing it to the floor. I kissed him again and watched as he took his shirt off and tossed it over the side along with mine. He leaned down and started kissing me, more passionately and savage like than ever before. I crushed myself closer to him, I felt like I couldn't get close enough. His breathing was coming shorter and shorter, matching mine. I smiled up into his eyes as the rest of our clothes fell onto the floor.

I forgot how to breathe and Edward laughed softly. His laugh was so beautiful, animal like, yet so delicate and beautiful. He leant down and I exhaled deeply as he kissed my neck and made his way down to my collar bone and all the way around to the other side. I ran my hands up his chest and that's when…

It was so amazing. The whole world was tipped upside down for me. Heave and hell had nothing on this. All these sensations were new to me and I never wanted it to stop. Our breathing was shallow and he covered me in sweet kisses. I clutched myself closer to him, calling out his name in passion filled cries. He silenced me every once in a while with a kiss or two to my lips and went back to my body. He was so amazing, I couldn't breathe and when he looked me in the eyes, I could tell he felt the same way. I let out a whimper and him a soft groan. He held me close and I kissed him. We stayed like that for a while before he moved from on top of me to lay beside me. I cuddled up to his chest, it was nice and cool. It felt good against my searing skin. I remember talking for a while, but I felt so good and I was so tired.

I woke to the sound of the floor creaking. I sat up, it was still dark outside, but I could see the figure walking across the room back to the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you…" Edward said climbing back into bed. I cuddled closer to him, "Don't worry, you didn't wake me." I said kissing his chest gently. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I put my hand on his chest, the candles were still lit and that's when I saw it. It sparkled on my ring finger. I shot upright and snapped on the desk lamp, I sat there with my jaw hanging open, glancing from the ring back to Edward. "WHAT IS THIS?!" I exclaimed turning to face him.