Chapter 11: it cant be. . .

I walked into my room, it was cooler than normal. The window was open. I walked over and closed it, glancing around the room looked like it hadn't been lived in for a while. I shrugged and went to get dressed. I was fixing the belt on my jeans when I heard the door swing open. I yelped and walked out to see who it was. "Sorry…" Edward said, walking towards me. I smiled and walked back into the closet. "You're early. Just give me a second." I said, bending over to grab my purse and cell phone. I walked back out messing with my hair. I tossed on a headband and walked over to Edward. He stood up from the table and hugged me.

I laughed and kissed him, walking out the door. Jessica was waiting in the hallway. "Hey Jess, How are you this morning?" I said with a cheery smile. She smiled back at me, "I'm alright, hi Edward. Oh Bella, do you mind if I eat with you this morning?" she asked. I felt my face drop. "Oh, well I was planning on sitting with you again at.. Your table.. But um…" she held a hand up. "We could sit at my table, I don't mind. Edward, you can join us if you want…" she said, smiling too friendly at him. I scowled up at him and he smiled. "Well, we better get a move on it…" I said, twining my fingers with Edwards and walking with Jess to the elevator.

It was a quiet event in the elevator and then Michael Rady got on and conversation struck up fast. "Bella! Hey how are you this morning?" he asked, I laughed. "I'm doing fine. How are you?" he lifted one shoulder and then let it fall. I nodded, Jess looked from me to Michael and then to Edward. I just shook my head and walked off the elevator. "Are you sitting with us this morning, Edward?" I asked. He didn't answer so I kept calling his name, then shook his arm. I saw his lip pull back over his teeth and pulled his face to mine, "What's wrong?" I asked, worried. He grabbed my hands and removed them from his face, I felt my heart racing. He stared at me for a minute and then forced a smile, all emotion gone from his face. "Nothing. I'll see you later." he said. Then with a long, passionate kiss he squeezed my hands and let me go. Watching him walk away I felt myself blush and I looked down at the floor. "So, lets get breakfast…" I said and walked toward the line.

"So what's with Edward?" Jessica asked as we made our way back to the table. I shrugged, "I have no freaking clue. He was fine and then Michael got on the elevator and he flipped when we walked in here…" I sat down next to a girl named Angela. She was nice, she smiled up at me, "Hi." she said, I laughed and greeted her back. I picked around at my food, I was starving this morning. I ate and laughed with my new friends. Michael started talking to me again about some new music band he had heard of. He spoke animatedly about it and even tried to play out some of the cords. I laughed silently to myself and turned to Angela, "Does he usually try to act everything out just for entertainment purposes?" I asked, stifling a laugh. She laughed with me, "Um for the most part… sadly, yes. Yes, he does." I mouthed the word wow and turned back to my fruit salad and granola. It was pretty good. I finished it up and gulped down my orange juice.

The bell for our first block began, Jessica and I sat at the table for a few minutes as our table cleared. "I'm going to go catch up with Edward, meet you in class?" I said, standing and stretching. She nodded and headed out the door. I turned to walk to Edwards table, ditching my plate on my way. I sat down next to him and ran my hand across his cheek. "What's wrong?" I reached for his hand and he turned his head away from me. I sighed, "Edward, talk to me. What did I do wrong?" I saw him smile, and he stared at me through his peripheral vision. "Bella, love, you didn't do anything wrong. It was him. You… well you didn't hear the vile and disgusting things he was thinking…" he let his comment trail off. His eyes tightening and darkening. I rested my head against his shoulder. "Don't worry, my heart belongs to you…" I brought his face to mine and kissed him. He sighed against my lips and I pulled away. "I'll see you later. Cheer up." I stood up, resting my hand on his shoulder. He smiled his crooked smile at me and I walked away.

I was ten minutes late for class, my penalty, I had to sit out the class. It sucked, but I had had worse before. I sat and watched Jessica practice, and then I saw Michael. Had he been in this class the whole time? If not… when did he transfer in? I sat back against the wall and whipped out a book from another class. I heard the music stop and the room filled with mindless chatter. "Hey, Bella. How's it going?" I glared up at him, but he was smiling. "Fine." I answered curtly and turned away.

"Oh, I see. Well hey I'm sorry you were late. Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time with Cullen." he said, chuckling a little. I gaped at him, my mouth hanging wide open. "You can be so… heartless." I said, standing up and grabbing my bags. "Oh come on, you know I was just messing around." he said, reaching for my arm. I pulled it away. "Oh really? Funny how I didn't realize you were joking until you told me. That was very.." I was cut off. "Insensitive of you.. Jerk." Jessica finished, walking up behind me grabbing her bags. I smiled at her, "I can handle my own weight." I said laughing. She laughed with me and we walked away. "Yeesh, I'm sorry you guys. Forgive me?" We both turned to glare at him, but his childish features couldn't let you stay mad at him.

I walked out of the dance studio and into the cool spring weather. I was going to wait around for Edward, so I walked over to stand under a tree that was beginning to blossom. I sat on the ground, but before I could really sit down, Edward was wrapping his arms around me. "Bella…" he whispered and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Hey, are you feeling better?" I asked, trying to force a cheery tone. He smiled at my attempt and kissed my forehead. "Better, now that you're here." I smiled and hit his leg gently, although even that small gesture hurt my hand. My phone rang, I searched my bag for it and it was Mimi…

Bella: "Hey Mimi, how are you?"

Mimi: "Bella? I'm fine, how are you?"

Bella: "I'm alright, what's up?"

Mimi: "Well.. Are you busy right now? I have some.. I have something I need to tell you, but I want to be sure that you will be okay…" she let her statement trailed off. She sounded sad.

Bella: "Yeah, I'm alright. So what's up?"

Mimi: "Bella, Renee and Phil were in a car accident. We don't really know anything, but they are in the hospital. But please, don't freak, Bella…"

I let the phone slide out of my hand and drop onto the ground. I could hear Mimi still calling my name but I couldn't register anything. All I knew was that Renee and Phil were hurt and I wasn't there to help or anything. I pushed the horrific thoughts out of my head and put my head in my hands. "Edward, I… I need to go. I have to go…" I said, grabbing my phone, I told Mimi that I would be there soon and I hung up. I started to stand. "Bella, what are you talking about?" he grabbed my arm. I snatched it away from him.

"You don't understand I said -my voice caught, trying to fight back tears- My mom and her husband were in a car accident…" I couldn't finish, the tears came freely and unwelcome. They burned my cheeks and I tried to wipe them away, but they wouldn't stop. He took me in his arms. "Everything will be okay, I promise. Are you going to go back to New York?" he asked, pulling me back to look at my face. I nodded and buried my face in his shirt. "I have to, I can't… I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I wasn't there…" my sob broke off my sentence. I felt Edward tense and I looked up to see Jessica and Michael walking towards us. "Bella…-I felt Jessica's hand on my shoulder- are you okay?" I pulled away from Edward, wiping my eyes, "I will be, but I have to go back to New York for a while." I forced a smile for her. Michael stared confused and Edward pulled him away, talking to him. I sat down and explained it all to Jessica, "Tell Angela I said I'll miss her and I'll be back soon." I said as I stood up, and she hugged me. I walked over toward Edward and Michael, "I'm so sorry, Bella, are you going to be okay?" Michael asked, he looked so sincere it made my heart ache. I nodded, "Thanks. I'll be okay." I said as he reached out and hugged me as well. I smiled and pulled back. "I'll talk to you soon.." I said, as I grabbed Edward's hand and walked away.

"Bella, are you leaving right away?" he asked, looking down at me. I lifted one shoulder and let it fall. "I have no clue as to how I am going to get there or anything…" I said, feeling another sob coming on. He squeezed my hand gently while he toyed with my ring. I had forgotten that I still wore his engagement ring. "I could.. Well you know I could always come with you, and if you don't want me to… I can pay for everything you will need." he offered. I stopped in my tracks on the way to the counseling office. "Edward.. -I stared up at his face and then looked away- I don't know if I can let you do that. You'd miss school and I feel bad about taking your money-" he brushed his lips across mine. "Bella, if you were my wife, it would be your money as well. Please, let me help and as for school.. I've been to school so many times it wouldn't matter.. But I understand if you don't want me to go with you, I can always stay behind." he said, and I could see how much it hurt him to even think about letting me go to New York by myself. He was already worried about not being around me. I smiled and stretched up on my tippy toes to kiss him. "You have to be the sweetest guy -vampire- ever" I whispered, "And I'd love for you to go to New York with me. To meet Renee and everyone else, if you are sure you don't mind, I'd love for you to accompany me." I said, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

We walked off toward the office again, but I still felt twisting in my stomach about what I was about to do. Edward was rubbing soothing circles in the back of my hand when I stopped and faced him. "Are you sure? Because I don't want to push you into anything that you don't want to do…" I said, looking up into his eyes. He shrugged, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure I want to do this with you, as long as you are sure you want me to go." he said with in a strong, gentle voice. I smiled and continued walking. He held the door open for me and we walked in, still holding hands all the while. "Okay, here we go…" I said, walking to the counselors desk.

It was a long flight because we couldn't get a flight that went straight through, so we ended up making 3 stops. Edward was a great flying buddy because he was just calm and relaxing. Me on the other hand, I was a nervous wreck and I was constantly worrying. He held my hand and calmed me when I began to worry too much into Renee and Phil's situation. I fell asleep after a while and soon grew restless with the time passing so slowly. I jolted awake when I heard Edward whispering to me. "Mmmm?" I said, trying to open my eyes. He was looking me dead in my eyes. "What's wrong Edward?" I asked in an almost too loud whisper. He shook his head and put his finger to his lips. I nodded, "What's wrong?" I asked again, growing aggravated. But then I noticed his eyes were darker than normal. When was the last time he had went on a feeding trip? I thought to myself. "Oh, Edward. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean.. you have needs too…" I dropped my voice and put my hand to his cheek. Gently stroking the dark purple bruises underneath his eyes, I felt tears spring to my eyes. "We'll stop at the next city and cancel our flight for the next plane and just stay the night. You can feed and get better… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so care-" he kissed me, cutting off all communication. "Don't worry, I knew this would happen. I can take care of myself. You just worry about yourself and about Phil and Renee.." he kissed me again and I shook my head. "My plan is final. We stay at the next stop and you can do that and I'll rest." I put my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand.

I don't remember falling asleep, but a while later Edward was brushing my hair back from my face, "Wake up, beautiful. It's time to get off.. Come on." he shook me gently. I awoke and stared around disoriented for a minute and then got up and followed the others off of the plane. We asked the receptionist where a good hotel was, but she was too busy gawking at Edward and it was pissing me off. Short tempered as I am, I just glared at her and made a point of showing off my ring discretely. She finally backed off and helped us find a place to stay and then we went out to catch a cab.

The concierge at the hotel was very friendly, thank goodness it was a male. He helped us up to our room and carried our bags of luggage. I saw Edward hand him a big wad of money and then close the door, thanking him for his help. I shook my head and walked over to the bed. The room was huge and looked fit for celebrities. "When I said hotel, I didn't mean something that would cost you a crap load of money a night." I said, beginning to carry our bags further into the room. "Bella, money is not an issue with me, and besides, you deserve the best." he said with a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but smile back at him and I turned to look out the window. The view was amazing. Kansas had amazing views, and where we were, there was more farmland which made it look very relaxing. I sat down on the window seat and rested my head against the window. "Beautiful, isn't? I'd die to have scenery like this all the time…" Edward said absently, almost as if he were in another place right now. "I know, it's so relaxing and it just makes you want more out of life than just the busyness of the cities and living life in the fast lane." I added after a while. He smiled down at me and kissed me gently, nudging my chin up with his index finger.

I sighed against his chest, "You should go, I cant even begin to understand how hard this is for you.." I motioned to my neck. He stared down at me and his eyes darkened and I grasped at my throat playfully. He frowned, "Very funny, Bella.." his face darkened with anger and he stalked away. I called out after him but he didn't answer me. "Edward I was kidding.." I shouted, but he didn't notice me and he just kept walking, slamming the door behind him. I slumped down the wall onto the floor. "Great." I said aloud to myself.

I got up and thumbed through the phone book and found a pizza place that came highly recommended by the hotel staff and other people staying in the hotel themselves. I picked up the receiver and called them to place an order for a large pizza, pepperoni and extra cheese. I hung up and fell back on the bed, exhausted and aggravated that, on our first day so far, we had already had a little tiff with each other. I sat up, running my hands through my hair and walked into the bathroom, stripping my clothes off and shedding them out in the main room. I stepped in the bathroom and grabbed a robe. I walked back into the room letting the tub fill up with water. I heard a knock at the door and went to answer it -pizza guy of course- I paid him and closed the door behind me and walked back into the main room setting the box down and taking a slice. WOW! The pizza was to-die-for delicious. I finished off my second piece just as the tub was full to my likings. I walked in and shed the towel, stepping into the scorching water, my muscles cramped and then relaxed. I rested my head on the back of the tub and closed my eyes.

"Ah, this is nice…" I mumbled to myself and then I heard the door close to the hotel room. I jolted up and looked around and saw Edward standing in the doorway. I sank in the water, pulling a towel in with me and felt myself blush. "Do you mind closing the door?" I asked, not entirely wanting my voice to sound aggravated. He flinched back at my words and closed the door with a little more force than I think he meant. Tears sprang to my eyes as I got out the tub -the water swirling down the drain- and dressed quickly into a long t-shirt and walked out into the bedroom.

Edward lay on the bed, his hands resting behind his head. He looked at ease, but I felt like a total bitch for earlier. "Hey…" I said, sitting down next to him. He didn't seem to realize I was there so I shifted my weight and stared at him. "Edward… what's wrong with you? I mean I guess I deserve the silent treatment.. But why exactly are you giving it to me?" I asked, growing frustrated with the silence. He didn't answer me right away, he simply shifted a little on the bed. Throwing my hands up in exasperation, I got up and stalked over to my bags. I grabbed some clothes and changed, "Well if you're not going to talk to me, then I'm not going to sit around here -I grabbed my purse- I'll be back later." I said, walking towards the door. He got up and beat me there, "Where exactly are you going?" he asked, his voice straining to stay calm. "None-of-your-business." I said, mouthing each word precisely. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. Please, don't go.. It's dangerous out there and this city is too big.. And if you were to get into trouble I wouldn't know where to look and how." he said, looking intensely into my eyes. I shook my head, "Make up your mind, Edward. You've been doing this since we got here… and then I tried to apologize and you ignored me. I'm trying to give you your space and you don't want me to leave." I walked away from the door, shedding my jacket and then the rest of my clothes. I put my t-shirt back on and sat on the bed. Watching him with confusion in my eyes.

Edward paced the room for a few minutes and then stripped down to his boxers and climbed in the bed with me. I pulled him close to me and ran my fingers through his hair. "What's going on with you lately?" I asked, concern placating my voice. He shook his head and hugged himself closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him and just listened to his even breathing. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was asleep. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, Edward was still in my arms and the sun was barely beginning to light the sky. I cracked my eyes some more and glanced toward the clock, 6:30 a.m. Ugh. I sighed and sat up, but Edward didn't budge. I looked at him and he was still breathing, slow and deep. He looked so peaceful, but I'd never seen him like this. I got up slowly and went to the makeshift kitchenette area and started a pot of coffee. I then went into the bathroom and relieved myself and washed my face. I walked back out and Edward had rolled over but he was snoring lightly. I laughed to myself and poured a cup of coffee. I curled up next to him on the bed and flipped on the news, cutting the sound down.

I drank my coffee in silence for a while and then I heard Edward sigh. "Mmmm, Bella?" his voice was raspy, but still velvety soft. I touched his arm, "I'm here, how are you?" I asked, setting my cup down and resting my head on his shoulder. I kissed him lightly and he rolled onto his back and wrapped his arm around me. "What.. What happened?" he asked, sounding confused. I smiled to myself and then it faded, "You fell asleep last night, Edward. Don't you remember?" I asked, looking up into his face. "Sleep? Me? Wow, I don't remember, but it was so peaceful." he said smiling down at me. I leaned up to press a kiss to his cold lips. He hugged me tighter. I smiled and pulled away and grabbed my cup again. "Can I order some breakfast from room service?" I asked as I sat up and pulled the covers over my legs. He sat up as well and reached for the remote. "Sure, have whatever you like, love." he said flipping through the channels, yawning. I picked up the phone and dialed for the front desk to bring up a sunny-side up egg, bacon, and bagel breakfast with a small fruit salad. I hung up and laid back onto the bed.. Sighing and folding my arms across my chest.

"So, what was wrong last night?" I asked after a long moment. He sighed, "I don't really know. I was mad at you for having an attitude when I was coming to apologize and then when you tried to leave me… I just had to leave. I had to let my mind wander, so I thought that ignoring you for a little while would be best. And then you tried to comfort me, you took my role and.. Well it made my heart beat irregularly. I got a glimpse of how you must feel when I do that…" he finished, staring out the window. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and then I reached over and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and then there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." he whispered into my ear, his cool breath flowing through my hair, tingling my neck. He got up and grabbed a t-shirt. He walked to the door and let room service in.

I came up behind Edward and tipped the guy. Edward took my money out of his hand and switched it with hundred when he thought I wasn't looking. It pissed me off, but then it warmed my heart that he was willing to just give his money to those who needed it more. "Well, since my money is no good, I'll just be taking it back. . ." I said, as I snatched the money from his hand and ran from the doorway.

The food was amazing, worth five stars. I didn't finish it all, so I left it on the cart and stared out the window.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked me after a long silence. I shrugged and looked at him. He was sprawled across the bed, his hands behind his head. "Nothing really. I'm just enjoying the view here.. And the peace and quiet as well. Most of all -I got up and walked toward him- I'm enjoying this time with you. It's like spring break all over again and I love it. I love you. . ." I said as I crawled onto the bed with him. I curled up into his side, he wrapped an arm around my waist and we laid like that for a long time. Soon it was time to get ready, we didn't want to miss our flight.

"Do we have everything?" I asked as we made our way to the door of our hotel room. He nodded and grabbed the room key, holding the door open for me. I smiled up at him, "Alright, well I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm nervous. . ." I said, walking ahead of him. He grabbed my hand, "Don't be, everything will be alright. It will, you're probably just making it more complicated than it is." he finished, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, into the back of my hand. I smiled up at him and boarded the elevator.

We made our flight, with seconds to spare. I leaned back, sighing, and looked over at Edward, he was closing the shade to block the sunlight out. Today, he was dressed in dark colors, including gloves on his hands. He even went the full way to wear a hat that shaded his face and neck. I smiled and shook my head, "I don't understand why you came. It will be sunny in New York the whole time most likely and I don't want you to have to be cooped up inside all the time.." I said in a whisper. He shook his head and leaned closer, "Because I wanted to be with you. I want to be there for you, I want to help.." he said, pulling away and leaning his head back against the seat. I leaned my head against his shoulder and waited as the plane took off. "What if everything isn't okay? What if something has happened?" paranoid, I took my phone out to check for any messages. A white hand appeared and took it from me, placing it in a jacket pocket. "Edward.. Give me my phone." I said laughing. He shook his head and flashed me a crooked smile.