O.O.S: Well, obviously, I made some of you angry with the last chapter. I am sorry, it had to be done. :] Thanks again for reading, you all are amazing of course. Please continue reading and reviewing.
P.S. This next chapter is a little confusing with time. Both pints of view pretty take place right after the last two but then both jump to one month and 2 weeks before the first chapter.
I hope I didn't completely confuse you…
:P
If you do have questions, please ask.
I really don't bite.
:]
B.I.S:
Disclaimer: No, I do not own anything created by J.K. Rowling. And yes, I am running out of cute and witty things to say in the disclaimer. Oh and I do not own Tom Cruise or his movies, nor do I want to. Little bastard… We get it Tom! You love Katie! God…:P
Rating: I suppose M. But for language.
Stolen
Chapter 11:
Intelligence and Cowardice
Three months earlier...
Hermione's P.O.V:
I am not afraid of many things.
My intelligence has always helped me to withstand even the most terrible of things.
Powerful wizards.
Dark magic.
Dangerous places.
But in the area of emotions, it was… useless.
Nothing in my knowledge could fight against something as strong as my own feelings.
I was a fool for never trying to learn about my emotions.
I was a fool for falling so deeply for something that I couldn't have.
Someone I couldn't have…
I was a fool, so I was given the short end of the stick.
I couldn't deal with this kind of pain.
I was ill-equipped.
Something that was challenging for me to accept.
So I didn't…
I forgot.
Numbness was all I felt.
Nothing was real.
I felt… Nothing.
A month and two weeks earlier…
"Mione?"
I didn't want to wake up from my numbness. My day dreams were much easier than the real world.
"Hermione!" Katie Bell snapped her fingers in my face.
"Huh?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
I came back to the real world. Bradshaw's Bridal was my location. Standing in the dressing room with Katie Bell. We were trying on our freshly tailored bridesmaid dresses for Angelina and Oliver's wedding. It had to be one of the fastest put together weddings I had ever been apart of, but hey, that's magic for you.
"Oh… I guess not… I am sorry." I shook my head in effort to awake my dead mind. I began to wonder how long she had been talking to me while I was half asleep putting on the dress.
"I said, Angelina said that we have to be at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow at 5."
"Oh right…" I smoothed down the golden dress I was wearing with my hands, seeing it fit nicely to my body. At least in my perilous thoughts had not effected my ability to pull off a Bride Maid's dress. It was a charming cut. A wide, low neck cut with inch wide straps and a red ribbon just bellow the waist line about on the hips. It clung tight and flowed down to the floor elegantly.
They wanted a Gryffindor color scheme since just about every alumni attending used to be part of the house. Everything was red and gold. Literally everything.
I hadn't wanted to be such a big part of this, but Angelina had insisted.
As much as I wanted to remain antisocial, this was unavoidable.
I couldn't deal with something so cavalier like a wedding…
It seemed like too many people to deal with.
Well, more like… Too many people having to deal with me.
I wasn't sure how most people still dealt with me then, especially Katie. I was a wreck for lack of a better word. I literally felt… Nothing. And she was nearly with me at all times.
She had filled the position as my best girl friend.
Ginny just was a little too hard to accept at the time…
"Are you sure you are alright?"
I was sure she asked this question everyday.
"For the hundredth time, yes." I sighed turning her around to zip up her dress.
I wanted her to drop it like she usually did, but that day she was pressing further and further.
"'Mione… You know you have been acting… Differently… Since Harry-." Katie looked into the mirror trying to see my face behind her, but I didn't allow her. I didn't want her to see the grimace on my lips.
A stab to the heart and a twist of the knife.
She didn't know that just the mention of his name killed me.
"Since he left." she changed her word use…
I guess she did know.
"I don't know what you are talking about…"
"Oh come on Hermione. Don't give me this shit."
Her eyes held strong as she glared at me through the mirror.
"Katie, please… Do we have to do this here?"
"Yes. We do. Because every other time I have tried to talk about this you don't listen! At work, you walk away, on the phone, you say you have another call and everywhere else you say you have to meet Ron somewhere. It's time that you accept what is going on here Hermione!"
Katie never acted like this.
I also guess that she was starting to not be able to stand me.
I couldn't blame her.
"Do you not remember what you told me a month ago?" she demanded.
I remembered… Of course I remembered.
I had told her I was in love with-… Him.
"And I told you to tell him, didn't I?"
I was speechless. She was controlling my mouth while I was trying to control the burning sensation in my stomach. The pain was nearly impossible to deal with. The pain I had ignored.
"But then, a few days later he was gone and Ron came back and I was foolish enough to believe that you had just been going through a phase with Harry."
She didn't hold back on the name now.
Turning around, she starred directly at me, causing me to feel small and meek.
Completely defenseless.
My intelligence was useless here.
"I can see it now Hermione… You are living-… Well, you are living a God damn lie."
"What do you mean?"
"Being with Ron will not make your feelings for Harry go away! Whoever told you that that ever works is playing a mean trick on you. Besides, it's not fair to Ron…" She softened her tone as she placed her hands on my shoulders. "He's head over heals in love with you 'Mione… You're letting him believe a lie. This is bigger than just you."
"This isn't your problem Katie." I sneered turning away from her.
When we left Bradshaw's, I didn't speak another word. Everything she has said was correct. Taking my arm, Katie pulled me next to her to walk with me.
"I'm sorry I was so forward Hermione…" she said with a sigh. "I just want my friend back so bad. This girl isn't her."
I didn't want to give into this, but it was ridiculously hard.
"Katie…" I turned towards her.
I didn't want to deal with these emotions.
I couldn't.
I was being weak, and I hated myself for it.
I hated myself for a lot of things.
"I am fine without Harry."
The deep wounds burned in protest at the mention of his name. I don't think it had slipped from my lips for over a month until then.
"It was just a phase. I just miss my friend. He was a big part of my life and it's just weird without him here…"
She didn't look convinced.
"I saw more than you think Hermione…"
"I know I did some foolish things… I was just hurt by Ron and Harry was the closest thing to fall back on. It was stupid."
I couldn't believe my composure.
When did I learn how to lie?
I guess a month before when I became prefect at doing to myself.
"So you can tell me right now that you are not in love with Harry Potter?"
"Yes…"
Taking in a deep breath I continued, feeling my heart denigrate in my chest.
"I am not in love with Harry Potter."
Katie Bell starred into my eyes with pure disbelief, but I knew she wasn't going to fight anymore.
"Ok." She nodded. "Well... Did you hear that Hannah Abbott and Neville have been seeing each other since we broke up? And he's bringing her along to the wedding? Disgusting isn't it?"
She changed the subject with pure ease.
I believe we both knew it wasn't worth it.
It just… It wasn't worth it anymore.
He wasn't coming back…
I began to let him go day by day.
Even if it felt like the end of me.
My intelligence was beginning to become, useful…
Three months earlier…
Harry's P.O.V:
My bravery was something that I was known for.
Harry Potter, the boy who lived!
Harry Potter, the boy who defeated the most powerful dark wizard in the world!
Noble titles I didn't deserve for my actions were far from brave.
I was, Harry Potter, the boy who could not face the truth.
Harry Potter, the boy who was running away.
I was running away from my desires to do what was right.
If only I could have convinced myself that full heartedly…
I had to leave.
"Potter! Grab the Port Key! There isn't much time!"
I still had time to change my mind…
Glancing down to the wooden ladle being grasped by a group of my fellow Aurors I found the familiar face of Kingsley Shacklebolt, the Minister of Magic. I had sighed up for an expedition to search America for stray Death Eaters on a whim. No, it wasn't on a whim… I had longed for anything to get me away and this was too perfect of an opportunity. It was a small mission that required me to leave London and travel across the Atlantic Ocean to New York City. I would live in the large foreign city and go on small missions twice a week to find possible escaped Death Eaters in hiding.
I would be gone for up to two months, if I was lucky…
A new city, a new country.
It was almost too much for me to really grasp.
But I was desperate for an escape.
"Potter!" Kingsley urged.
In a snap of a finger I grabbed a hold of the ladle and the world around me began spinning.
I am a fucking coward.
End of story.
One month and two weeks earlier…
The good thing about New York was it was a city that never slept, meaning I rarely had to do so either.
Any down time I obtained was too much to handle.
It allowed my mind to wander…
Which was the last thing I needed… More time to think about her.
The first month had gone by quickly.
I had breezed by day by day. Which wasn't hard to do with my room mate.
The Ministry had obtained me a place to stay, and the 'Muggle' job of working in a flower shop with an undercover wizard by the name of Tony Puccini. He worked as an Auror of sorts for the American Ministry of Magic. It seemed strange to think that wizards really were all over right under everyone's noses.
Tony was a nice guy. He was in his early 20's(not much older than me), fit and full of energy. He was a good looking guy, and what I would assume women to think 'very attractive' for his eyes were a nice shade of brown and his hair a deep brown that seemed a little red sometimes. The man constantly had a pleased grin on his face from the moment he met me. I figured out the reason the moment we first spoke.
"The infamous Potter boy is it?" he had said, shaking my hand with a strong grasp. "You're like the fucking wizard version of Tom Cruise kid."
"Who's Tom Cruise?" I asked.
"You gotta be shittin' me."
That night I watched two movies, 'Top Gun' and 'Mission Impossible'.
American's seemed to live by the world of celebrities.
I had to admit, I was glad that London was my true home…
The people were a little intense.
Though, the girls… The girls were nice.
Tony took me out almost every night we weren't working with the other male Aurors that were part of the team to go 'Babe Hunting' he called it. I am not sure how many times I told him I was with Ginny, but no matter the number of times, he still insisted introducing me to girl after girl after girl.
Meeting them all was far from not ok.
Many of them were, well, bloody gorgeous.
But, none of them compared to, her…
Not a fucking single one.
Living with Tony was almost like an adventure everyday. Above the small flower shop that was passed down to him through his family for decades was his home, or, our home. It was a nice loft sort of thing with three bedrooms, a large kitchen and living room and a secret room where he experimented with photography. Though, this was not the bewitched kind, this was the normal kind. Tony was quite the artist. Weird to believe because he was usually fucking around, but he did have a serious side to him. We got along so well, he had offered for me to permanently stay with him a few times. Part of me just couldn't completely commit. After a while, I almost saw myself being able to stay there with Tony Puccini forever. That was until I received an, unexpected, invitation in a golden envelope with a crimson stamp of a broom as the seal.
The instant I touched it, the letter opened itself, rose before me into the air and began to speak.
"Mr. Harry Potter. You are cordially invited to be a part of the Wood-Johnson wedding the night of November 17th. Mr. Oliver Wood requests you to be apart of his honorable men in the joining of him and Miss Angelina on this sacred night. Please respond promptly to this message for there is not much time left! Thank you and have a wonderful evening.
P.S. You are allowed to bring a guest of your choice."
As soon as it had opened, the letter burst into flames and was nothing but dust.
Angelina and Oliver? Married? It wont last… I thought with a snort. Anyone who would go to that is-…
Instantly I saw her in my thoughts.
"Wedding huh?" Tony called to him from the other side of the kitchen.
"Yeah." I replied, looking over the counter towards him, unable to make her face disappear.
"Well, you gonna go or what? You've been 'requested' to be a part of it. That's pretty high priority my friend." Tony began crossing across from the fridge to me.
"Ha." I snorted, not daring to look at Tony.
I had been so careful.
I hadn't had to see her for a month and a half.
I knew what this would mean if I went…
I knew what could happen…
"You aren't just gonna split out on your buddy's wedding are ya?" Tony smirked at me from behind the counter. "I mean, I'm never going to tie myself down but you shouldn't put a man down when they're giving up their manhood. This guys needs ya more than you think."
"Yeah. I guess you're right. I just-…" It was brewing underneath my skin and I could not control my words. "I really shouldn't go."
"What do ya mean?"
It was bubbling over dangerously.
The feelings I had run from.
The possible danger I was hiding from.
Cowardice at its best.
"Dude?" Tony leaned closer to me. "You want to let me in on the secret you have with yourself?" he had been joking a little, but seeing my face his smile disappeared. "That serious huh?"
"Ugh…"
I couldn't hide anymore.
I wasn't going to be able to stay forever. I had to face the truth soon enough.
"Let's just say… There is someone there that would benefit from not seeing me." I murmured slowly looking up at him.
"It's a girl, isn't it?"
I grimaced thinking about her.
"Oh… She's more than a girl. What's her name… Minnie?"
"It's Ginny…"
"Your girlfriend then? The one that sends owls to from time to time?"
If only it were that easy.
"Wow, if the 'boy who lived' doesn't think he's good enough for a chick, there isn't any hope for the rest of us." he breathed out shaking his head.
"It's not about her."
I was surprised I had admitted it.
"Oh… Another girl?" Tony asked cautiously, arching his eyebrow at me.
I nodded, grimacing once more.
"So, let me get this straight… You have a girlfriend and-…?"
"A best friend."
"Right. Well?"
"I'm in love with her."
It stung all over to finally say it out loud.
"Ohhh. Shit. What's her name?"
"Hermione Granger."
I was taken back that I had actually said her name.
"Hermione, huh? Well, why don't you just tell her and dump the other girl? Love is hard to deny."
He had no idea how hard…
"It's not that easy… She's with my best mate."
"Ohhh! Shit!"
"Yeah."
"You've got a problem then." Tony left the counter and walked back over to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of American beer and returned to set one in front of me. "You need one of these kid."
"You're telling me… And thanks."
"So, what are we planning on doing then?" Tony asked, snapping his fingers sending the bottle caps off the beers in seconds.
American wizards were granted a quirk for their magical use, not a wand. Tony's was, apparently, a snap. I would have been more interested in his little quirk if I hadn't heard his word choice.
"We?" I questioned, looking up at him in confusion.
"Yeah we! I'm obviously not going to let you go there by yourself. That's like sending a friend to the freaking lions den man." he explained with his eyes wide and convincing. "And, not that I was… Eavesdropping or anything, but I do believe it said you were allowed to bring a, guest." he elbowed me then pointed to himself. "Besides, the girls at weddings are too good to describe! And to top it off they're British girls."
He really did now how to look on the bright side of every situation…
I unfortunately, was not as skilled in this department.
"Tony, mate, I don't know…" I hung my head in shame. "I really shouldn't-"
"Harry… Listen." He interrupted me putting a hand on my shoulder. "I may not be the advocate for love or anything, but I have been where you are… And I know I don't have to tell you it sucks major cock. But dude, I know you are dying to see her. To see if she is at least ok without you. It will hurt, but it's only gunna get better from here. It can't get any worse, right?"
"I guess not."
This pain couldn't get worse…
It had to be impossible.
"And who the fuck knows dude… Maybe she's been thinking of you too. Did it ever occur to you that you don't always have to do things for other people, hero boy?" Tony smirked at me before taking a sip of his beer.
I never really had thought about that before…
"Ok." I said. "Let's go."
"That's what I am talking about!" Tony beamed sliding his hand in mine and bumping my fist. (It was another American thing I had adapted to.)
"We'll leave tonight! There's a Port Key leaving at 11. You still have your flat, right?" Tony continued on with the plans as I slipped into my thoughts.
That was it.
I was giving up on all I had built up.
All I had worked for. I just couldn't stay away…
So, I was going to London.
I was done with being a coward.
Tony was right, I didn't always have to do things for other people…
It was my turn.
I couldn't give up on her.
I just, couldn't…
O.O.S: HA! Longest chapter yet! Sorry for the delay! Thanks for much for reading! REVIEW DAMN IT!!! :]