I'd just woke up to the sound of cheesy Christmas music playing through the house and groaned, unlike the days when I was younger and I'd be up at the start of dawn running down stairs down the hall to wake my parents up so I could go and get my presents, but like last year it wasn't the same without my mum. I rolled onto my side and out of my bed grabbed Troy's Wildcat jacket and snuck out of onto my balcony feeling the cold Christmas wind on my face I took a deep breath.
"Merry Christmas Taylor" I whispered to myself before climbing down my balcony and running to my car, I sped out of the drive and sped down the road that led to the cemetery. I looked at my watch, it was almost nine in the morning a few hours later than I'd hoped. Hopefully the cemetery was still empty.
I pulled up near the entrance and pulled Troy's jacket closer to me, the wind was seeping through my pajamas bottoms, and yep it wasn't my smartest idea not to change into at least a pair of jeans before I left. I quickly walked towards her grave, near the middle left of the cemetery, there she was 'Joanna Faye Mckessie, loving wife and mother 1967 to 2008'. I smiled and knelt onto my knees, another bad idea the ground was still wet from last night and so the water went straight through my pajamas.
"Hey mama" I giggled as tears went down my face "I did what always told me not to, I sat down in wet grass mama" I wiped the tears away furiously but more still fell
"So merry Christmas mama" I choked "What does it look like in heaven, I know I ask every time but I just keep wishing you would somehow tell me you know?" I smiled through my tears "I know I haven't visited as often as I used to but I'm in college now all the way in California at Stanford mama so you know it makes it hard to come see you, but I'm still thinking of you, every day, every minute and second" I paused I think it's time I told my mother about Troy
"I met a boy mama, well I met him about a year and a half ago but I couldn't tell you, I just felt so bad I hadn't turned eighteen yet so it felt like I was doing something wrong because I loved him nearly as much as I loved you, I'm sorry mama but you probably already knew from up there in heaven right. I don't know why I didn't just tell you. Maybe one day you'll meet him and see that he's perfect. He's got these blue eyes, ones that can see through me, he saw through me on the first day we met, no one but you can do that not even Daddy sometimes. Then he has this smile even though he smirks most of the time, which is kind of sexy but if he knew that he's head would explode. He's a lil on the arrogant side of life you see. But Mama you would love him, he'd charm you the same way he done charmed me and Grandma Gina, Maybe next time I visit I'll bring him, Merry Christmas Mama" I stopped on my little rant about Troy and started wiping any dirt off her stone, I didn't have any flowers, shops weren't open at nine o'clock on Christmas morning around here so I just made sure her grave looked as tidy as it could. I stayed there for a little while until my wet trousers got too cold for me to handle when I got up to turn and leave the graveyard.
Troy was right when he said it did get easier, because it did these days I didn't completely break down like I used to whenever I came to visit the graveyard, sure the tears were still there but I'd finally accepted and let go of the anger in my heart. I could finally move on, I decided to phone Troy because I hadn't given him his Christmas present yet and I knew he was going to love what I'd got him.
"Merry Christmas Baby" He yawned into the phone as I giggled, he like most people was still in bed
"Merry Christmas boo, did I wake you?" I asked settling into my car
"Kinda but it don't matter, I can hear my Dad and Grandparent down stairs"
"Okay well before you go say hi, I want to come drop off your Christmas present" I said as I started up the car
"Okay… wait are you driving while talking to me?" concerning oozing out of his voice,
"not yet…" I started
"Taylorrr" He moaned, I could tell he was wide awake now
"okay okay, just meet me at the top of your street in ten minutes" I smiled
"Okay okay but this better be worth it" He moaned
"Oh but I'm always worth" I laughed as I hung up before he got a chance to smart comment me back, I had to have the last word once in a while. I threw my phone on the passenger seat and drove up to meet him, I loved this time of year when the streets were silent and empty, I felt bad for ruining the perfection with the sound of my car. I parked up and waited I was a couple of minutes early and Troy was never late and like he'd said he was there two minutes later in a pair of sweats and his winter coat. He'd walked; I guess he didn't want to disturb the peace either; I leaned over and opened the passenger seat for him to climb in.
"Merry Christmas baby" I smiled leaning over to kiss him softly on his lips "Does your Dad know you're gone?" I asked stroking his cheek
"No I snuck out… so where my goodies at baby?" He smirked
"And you called me a baby last night" I replied rolling my eyes as I leaned backwards to get the bag from the back seat
"It's not wrapped that's why I didn't give it to you last night" handing him the bag nervously
"That's okay baby, I can't wait to see what's inside" He smirked looking at me and wiggling his eyebrows
"Well look inside!" I hurried him as he took a peek in the bag and looked slightly confused I smirked expecting this reaction
"Look on the back" I urged as he nodded and pulled out the Lakers jersey in the bag, I got it signed by the whole L.A. Lakers squad a couple of weeks ago
"what the… Taylor… How?" I watched on as he stuttered and sat satisfied
"Kobe dropped into the café I work, you know where I got my new job in town a month back and I happened to be the one who served him, we hit it off and he asked me to tutor his little sister for this exam when he found out I was a genius in the science department, I agreed and mentioned I have this amazing boyfriend whose was a huge fan of the team and he agreed to sign this shirt for you. So I met up with him and he had and he'd even got the whole squad to sign it too, oh look at the bottom of the bag there's more" I smirked knowing this was going to make him go crazy
"Two season tickets for courtside seats!" He screamed as I laughed
"Shhh, you'll wake whole neighborhood! Yeah he threw those in when his sister aced the exam" I shrugged like it was nothing, I didn't want him to know I freaked out more than he was when I saw the gifts or when I got to serve Kobe.
"Oh my Gosh Taylor! Thank you so much, I just don't know what to say… I knew I should have applied for a job where you work" He smirked as I shook my head. He leaned over and kissed me softly over and over again.
"So where were you this morning, your all wet" He asked as he looked at my muddy trousers
"I went to say happy Christmas to my mother and I forgot it had rained over night… I told her about you, said next time I'd bring you with me so I could introduce you" I smiled, I never talked about my mother with Troy, after that time at the cliff I'd change the subject everytime he brought it up. He was very open about his mum to me, but then again he'd had almost nine years to get used to it, I was still trying to figure out how to cope with my loss.
"Really?" He asked seriously
"Yeah, I thought it was about time right?" I smirked as he nodded agreeing with me
"Yeah, I thought I was going to have to wait until we get married for that to happen" He smirked leaning over and leaning his forehead on mine "Thank you for that Tay, I know how hard it must have been"
"I just needed to do it for us, you know I know how you've been stepping on egg shells when it comes to that topic, and sometimes you might have to but I'm ready to let you into every part of my life" I smiled
"thank you Tay, it means a lot to me" he smiled before kissing me forehead
That was our Christmas, in my car with wet clothes and each other for comfort, we both had to leave because we knew it wouldn't take long for our families to realize we weren't sleeping in. I gave him a ride home and drove home myself; I was freezing and needed to get out of those wet pajamas quickly before I caught a cold.
Christmas went pretty much the same way it did every year, we went to church in the morning, and we opened the gifts straight after church once my grandparents on my mother's side had arrived in the afternoon. As usual my mum's mother had knitted me a scarf, I smile and said thank you knowing it was going to go on the heap at the bottom of my closet, it would make the usual trip out of the closet on our annual trips to visit her in New York and go straight back on top of the heap along with all the scarves she'd knitted the pervious Christmases. I received a new blackberry from my Dads parents, the hilarious thing was it was the downgrade from my current blackberry, but of course I'd use it for a month before swapping it back with my own one and then take it out every time I saw them. My father gave me a $1000 check because he didn't know what to buy me seeing as he gotten me a car just over seven months earlier. I finally got to Troy's gift, still in the bag he'd put it in, I smiled as I nervously pulled out one of two packages. I knew my family was watching on expectedly.
I pulled out the first neatly wrapped present, a box smaller in size than the one in the still in the bag. I delicately untapped each of the corners that he'd tapped down, making sure I didn't ruin the wrapping paper. I gently opened the wrapping paper that covered the box and there lay a black velvet box, slightly larger than an ordinary jewelry box. I smiled and slowly opened it finding a white pearl necklace, the one I'd seen in `Tiffanys' jewelry store when Troy and I had gone shopping in L.A. but at the time neither of us could afford it or thought we ever would. I'd fallen in love with it and promised myself one day I'd buy one just like it if not the very same one, one day.
"He remembered" I whispered and smiled, I went on to open the larger box in the same manner and there lay another black box, just larger in size and not velvet. I wondered what lay underneath, I slowly opened in up and there it was. My very own pair of retro headphone, you know the one that look like speakers on your ear, only mine were purple. I smirked, only he would know that I wanted these so bad but I'd never expected them in purple, my favorite color. Troy had them in black and he'd refused to let me touch them saying they didn't make them like his anymore and he couldn't risk my clumsy hands accidently breaking them. I'd cussed him for weeks on end about those head phones, but now I had my very own pair.
'Only you xxx' read the text I sent him as soon as I got a moment to myself that night, in between all the family games and opening of presents
'Who else ;)x' was his reply knowing exactly what I meant, he'd got me Christmas presents that meant only we would ever know their true meaning because to everyone else it was an expensive pearl necklace and a pair of purple headphones, to me it showed he cared about what I wanted and wasn't some clueless boyfriend who would get me perfume because he didn't know what to get me. I loved the way he liked keeping our relationship strictly between us even with simple things like presents.