CHAPTER 3-SABOTAGE: PART II
"Hey, I'm not perfect and neither are you so quit looking at me like I'm some weirdo. If you saw my stepbrother, you'd be all over his ass, too!" –Isabella Marie Swan
Bella
Like I said, maybe Edward was playing when he said all of those things to me before he got into his car and drove off to his new life. But from the way he'd always made fun of my body and what we did in his room, I took it to heart. That, and the fact that he hadn't come back home since he left. There was no doubt in my mind he had found me attractive enough to kiss and touch. Yet what I had wasn't desirable for him to have sexual intercourse with me. I wanted to be adequate, to have enough for Edward.
My Grandma Keller was a religious freak, always dragging me to church with her every time I visited. She once told me that God always listens to us when we're talking to him.
"He may not answer right away, Bella, but he always hears you. The world is a big place and He has a lot of important people and things He has to get to first. You just have to wait your turn to receive what you're asking for."
Well, HE needed to hurry up because I've been waiting for quite some time and I had yet to get my new knockers.
God,
It's me again, Bella. I know you're listening because Dad got the TiVo again and I can record America's Next Top Model for Ali when she comes over and Family Guy throughout the week. Thanks for that by the way. Now let's move on to the matter at hand. My mosquito bites aren't growing fast enough. I need them because I really don't want to get into another round of 'itty bitty titty' jokes with Edward when he comes home. I need some leverage to fight back…and to get him to do me. So when you're done with the other important shit you have to do, could you drop 'em off to me a.s.a.p?
Okay, thanks
Bella
P.S. Sorry for cussing. Disregard that word. Stick to the rest of it.
Six months. Six long months I've been asking Your Holiness to help me out and what do I get?
Nothing.
I looked at my naked self in the mirror after showering and all I saw was the same old skinny Bella with small nubs that resembled deflating balloons. I prayed hard and made deals with God to do stuff for a set of plump jugs.
I helped out more around the house. I stopped asking my dad for money, instead accepting Mike Newton's offer to work at his family's camping supply store. I made straight A's and B's in school. My dad and Elizabeth even pitched in and bought me a car the same color as Edward's Volvo. But God must not have gotten my memo yet because my fun bags were still missing.
How long was this puberty thing supposed to take? I'd be eighteen in a couple of years and if I didn't get anything before then, I might very well be stuck with this body and my brother would never have the resolve to touch me again. I didn't want to look like this forever.
Going into my room, I quickly dressed for Ali and Rose's arrival. They were taking me out shopping for new clothes and shoes. Alice agreed to help me with a workout plan and Rose opted to teach me how to walk in heels. So far, all the shoes I owned had less than a three inch heel. It was about time I kicked it up a notch and learn how to strut in some pumps like a real woman.
When I heard the sound of the doorbell, I took off running down the stairs but I tripped halfway and fell down the rest of the stairs. Upon hitting the bottom, Elizabeth—who I now refer to as Mama Beth— came running from the kitchen to see what the entire ruckus was about.
When she saw me on the floor, she bent down to help me stand. "Isabella, my goodness, child! Are you trying to kill yourself?"
"Sorry, Mama Beth. I was just going to get the door." I said, rubbing the bump forming on my head.
"Well, try to be more careful, will you? I'll have to take out another insurance policy on you if you keep this up."
I scampered to the door and opened it for Rose and Ali. I pushed out of the door before they could get a chance to start in on me.
"Gross! What happened to you?" Rose asked, reaching to poke my bump with her finger.
I slapped her hand away. "Nothing, just a small accident. Come on, let's go."
When we arrived at the first store, I told them that I didn't want to spend too much money on clothes and shoes.
"There's no such thing as too much, Bella," Alice responded.
"I'm serious, Ali. I don't make enough for a fucking shopping spree," I said.
"Don't you have an American Express card?" Rose jumped in. "A black one at that?"
"Yes, but I can't use that."
"Why not?" Alice asked. "That's what it's for! Don't be such a prude, Bella. It's not like we're going to have you buy the mall! We're only going to grab a few things for you and that's it. We won't be in here for long."
"You promise?"
Alice used her index finger to make a cross on her chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die promise."
Death didn't come to get Alice, but I definitely had an impulse to kill her tiny ass by the time we were done. Never in my life have I ever spent seven hours driving around going in and out of stores trying on and purchasing shit. It was ludicrous!
"Bella, you have got to try this on, it will look perfect on you!" Alice would shout to me every time we hit a new store.
"This will go good with the new body you're going to have," Rose said, throwing me things to try on.
"This is too big, Rose." I replied.
"Didn't you fucking hear me say new body? "
By the time we headed back to Rose's house, I had more shopping bags than the actual stores. At least I didn't spend much because the girls voluntarily chipped in when I declined to spend any more money. I hoped Charlie wouldn't bitch too much about the bill. I knew Mama Beth wouldn't; she thought I was the most selfless person. Rose agreed to hide some of my new wardrobe in her closet for me.
Back at Rose's house, Alice and she utilized their time struggling to help me walk in heels that would more than likely wound up breaking my ankles. After bruising myself for the thirtieth time, I'd had enough of high heels.
"This shit's not working guys! I can't get a handle on these heels for nothing!"
Rosalie threw up her hands. "Bella, they're four-inch heels. How can you not walk in them?"
"Screw this. I'm going home." I whined.
A week after that, Rose called me on the phone, blabbing "I've got an idea, one I think will fix your walking problem. Get your ass over here sissy, pronto!"
Rose swung open the door with her boyfriend, Emmett, behind her when I arrived at her house. Grabbing me by the arm, she led me up to her bedroom. I immediately noticed that everything that used to occupy her room—the bed frame, the bed, the dressers, etc. — was missing. All that was left in there were the pair of heels that had been kicking my ass and…thumbtacks.
What the hell?
Concern settled into my chest. "Rose, what is this? Where's your stuff?"
"In the guest room. Emmett helped me get it out of here for preparation."
"Preparation for what?"
"For helping your clumsy, stiff ass, that's what. Take those off and put these on."
I pulled my feet out of my sneakers and snapped on the death traps. "Ok, now what?"
"See the path I've made on the floor?" she pointed to the path between the thumbtacks.
I nodded.
"You have to try to walk it without falling over." Rose simply stated, as if she didn't know exactly who she was talking to.
"But you know I can't do that!" I protested.
"You see the tacks, bitch? You better or else your ass in going to be stinging!"
Very carefully, I walked the path with my legs wobbling in the heels. Halfway through it, I lost my balance, stepping directly on the heel of the shoe and fell…right on the tacks. The little needles were stabbing everywhere into my skin; my arms, my legs, my...
"OOOOOW!" I screeched. "Fucking cocksucker motherfucker! I HAVE TACKS IN MY ASS!"
"Oh shit! Are okay?"Rose asked. Emmett doubled over in amusement.
"No, I'm not fucking okay, Rose! What the hell kind of idea is this?"
"It's the kind that says don't fall again or you're going to give acupuncture a run for its money! Now get up and try again!"
Was this bitch serious?
"Fuck no, I'm not doing that again!"
"Yes, you are! You asked for my assistance so I'm helping you. Now get up."
Rose helped me get the tacks out of my skin after assisting me up from the floor. Emmett was standing with his arms crossed and tears falling from his eyes as he waited for the next clumsy Bella incident. I glared at him with the evil eye.
"My bad, Bells, but if you were in my shoes…" He said, shaking with laughter. "Then again, I think you need to be in my shoes."
"Can it, Emmett!" Rose barked at him.
Emmett covered his mouth with his hand trying to hold in the hilarity.
"Ok. Can you manage not to fall on your ass again?" Rose asked me.
Building up courage I answered, "I think so."
I tried walking down the path again and almost made it to the end, but I slipped. This time I caught myself before I fell. I heard Emmett snicker again.
I gave him the finger. "Fuck off, Emmett!"
"It's not my fault you can't walk a straight line!"
"You know what," I stomped over to him in fury. "I've had it with you laughing at me. You try walking your bulky ass in heels and see where it gets you!"
"Guess what?"
"What, you ass?"
"You didn't fall this time!"
The frown on my face disappeared. I looked back at Rose and she gave me the thumbs up. Emmett was right; I didn't fall or slip once. It looked like angsty Bella was more balanced and controlled.
"If Emmett keeps being a dick, this just might work." I said.
"See, Rose," he grinned, "I'm not so useless after all."
After spending a few hours switching heels, struggling to walk, and Emmett's asinine behavior, I packed up my shoes and called it an evening, promising Rosalie that I would practice my newfound struts and poses at home. Day after day, I practiced in various heels ranging from four to six inches. After a few months, I had the whole strutting it like a runway model walk down.
Next in line: The Workout Plan.
The thing is, I wanted to add a few pounds to my skinny frame and turn my body into a voluptuous work of art. Alice had a complete schedule made out for her and Rose to follow. It worked for them, as their bodies were flawless. I ached for her to create one that would work for me as well. For weight gain, Alice suggested foods with high protein such as chicken breasts, eggs, tuna, yogurt, peanut butter, and milk, etc.
"Boneless chicken breasts are better. Salmon is good for the skin. Oooh, and nuts!" She said.
"Nuts?"
"Yes. Peanuts, cashews, stuff like that. My trainer, Pablo, knows everything! I can't wait for you to meet him! He even has his own workout tapes, but we'll get to that once we have you on an ample workout regimen."
So Alice took me to the small gym where we were to meet up with her trainer, Pablo. When we walked through the door Ali runs up to an average height lean man. His hair is as black and spiky as Alice's except the tips are frosted blond. I was flabbergasted by the way he was dressed. Pablo, a man who looked to be in his early thirties, was wearing a white and black leopard print leotard with black cut off jean shorts and lime green tights. Alice hugged him before introducing us. Still shocked by his attire, I said nothing and chose to shake his hand instead.
"So you're the one Alice has been talking about? No wonder she's been jabbering on about you. Honey, look at you; you're a twig! Do you eat?"
Excuse me fag hag? Look who's talking! You look like a cross between a broke down Backstreet Boy, Richard Simmons, and a crackhead. Christ, Ali what the heck did you get me into?
"Though, you're not totally useless," he tapped his fingers against his cheek as he looked me up and down. I'd never felt so on display and exposed. "Don't you worry about a thing. I'll have this little body whipped into shape in a matter of weeks."
Never judge a book by its cover. That day, Pablo worked the hell out of me. He may have looked weird as shit but the man knew how to work a gal into a stupor. While I was sweating my ass off, Alice worked out side by side with this Pablo character like it was a piece of cake. After running me into the ground, Pablo told Alice to bring me back the following day.
"This one has drive, Alice. I may be able to save her from herself."
Asshole.
But Pablo did save me from myself—my previous self that is. My arms and legs had a sense of definition to them. Not enough to look like beefcake, but just enough to give off feminine pride. I now had an ass thanks to those booty exercises Pablo had shown me. The muscles in my stomach were now toned. The new wardrobe I had hugged my new body in an appeasing way, thanks to the extra pounds I gained.
The boys in school began noticing the change in my appearance in a positive way. Between classes, I would find notes in my locker with their numbers on them asking me to call them so they could take me out. At the end of the school day, I would find random guys who never paid any attention to me standing by my car waiting for me.
Doors were now being held open for me instead of being shut in my face. The boldest of them would be sitting in their cars in my driveway before I got home. I couldn't say it didn't boost my confidence because it did. I loved the attention I received for my appearance. Even Mama Beth complimented me for coming out of my shell. Though Charlie wasn't that thrilled about it. I'd done everything I set out to do and the results were phenomenal.
Well, almost everything.
My breasts were still M.I.A. God still hadn't gotten back to me. I was growing impatient. I needed those love puppies special delivered overnight on a UPS Express freight train and dropped off at my bedroom door. So I said another prayer to let Him know that I meant serious business. I wanted my jigglers bad!
Hey Almighty One,
It's me again. Isabella Marie Swan. As in Charlie Swan's kid in Forks, Washington. It's on the left side of the United States map, right between British Columbia and Oregon, remember? Of course You remember it; You made it. Look…um, I've been waiting forever for those baby feeders I asked You to send me a while back. I know You've got a shitload on Your hands right now with little things like war, crime, starving children in Africa, and Maury Povich revealing babies' daddies results. Nevertheless, do You think You could put all that on hold and send me what I asked for? I told You I need them for when Edward comes home. I kept my part of the bargain, so now it's time for You to keep Yours.
Sincerely Speaking,
Me
Edward and I sent emails to each other back and forth. He called home every now and then when he said he had the chance. He'd send gifts for the family on holidays. He even bought me an iPhone for my sixteenth birthday to replace the small Nano I carried around. Edward had stored some tunes of his on it for me. When I put the earphones in and pressed play, his voice spoke through the speakers with a message.
"This is for the little brat who has no taste in good music. Just thought I'd leave you some of the classics. Can't have you illiterate in every aspect of your life now, can I? Anyway, Happy Birthday to you and I'll see you soon."
The next thing I heard was Classical music. Everything about that day came rushing back to me full force. At night, I would go into his room, lie in his bed, and listen to it to put me to sleep. I haven't even downloaded any of my music on it yet.
It's been well over a year and he still hadn't come back to Forks. I wondered what is what that kept him away for so long. Maybe he was serious and wouldn't come back until I physically matured. Life wasn't the same without him and I needed him to come back to me so we could finish where we left off that day in his bedroom. However, as much as I wanted him to come home, I didn't want him to see me until everything about me was to his liking.
One particular night, I caught him online and requested to chat with him. He answered back.
BMS: what the hell is up with the new name?
DickUDownDazzler: its 4 the ladies. u like?
BMS: no, it makes u look desperate…and gay.
DickUDownDazzler: says the suicidal virgin.
BMS: haha how do u know i'm still a virgin? i could be getting it left and right.
DickUDownDazzler: lol u make me laugh. what r u doing up so late?
BMS: it's like ten o clock! and u really need to change ur name. it makes u look like an anxious fuck who can't get laid.
DickUDownDazzler: u know what ur initials stand for?
BMS: don't even start that shit again
DickUDownDazzler: Bowel Movement Symptoms
BMS: ew, that's just nasty
DickUDownDazzler: Butt Mud Strainer
BMS: stop
DickUDownDazzler: Booty Munching Sauce
BMS: fuck u
DickUDownDazzler: i crax myself up
BMS: do u always have to be such a dick?
DickUDownDazzler: how about this...Beautiful Morning Star
BMS: when r u coming home
DickUDownDazzler: soon
BMS: u said that before
DickUDownDazzler: u got those milk shakers yet
BMS: i'm serious.
DickUDownDazzler: me 2. I want to see some sweater meat.
BMS: Will you call?
…
BMS: Edward?
…
BMS: EDWARD!
That fucking shitstick! He always did this to me.
BMS: EDDIE!
The house phone rang. I picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"
"Don't call me Eddie."
"You would call just for that."
"You miss me yet?"
"No…when are you coming home?"
He laughed. "I knew you did. It's not thad simple to just pick up and leave, Bella. I'm very busy. I've got a place to tend to…work…school. I have responsibilities here."
"All excuses. You can visit. And how come you haven't invited me out to see where you live?"
"I will."
"When?"
"Soon I said."
"Edward, you always say that and then you never do—"
"Jesus, Bella, can't we just talk on the damn phone without you pestering me about coming home or here? Quit bugging me about it already!"
"Oh go fuck yourself!" I screamed, slamming down the receiver.
This happened quite often the longer he stayed away. We'd chat, he'd call, I'd get mad at him for leaving me here alone, and then hang up in his face. He would call right back swearing up a storm because I'd hung up on him. Then we'd get to fighting over the dumbest shit two siblings could rival about.
Sometimes it lasted minutes, other times hours. I only acted that way because I missed him so much. The childish behavior couldn't be avoided on my part. I was irate that he was holding himself hostage from me. How dare he stay away all this time after what hemade happen between us! This was his fault!
He confirmed it for me. Edward wasn't coming home until I did what he told me to do.
These fucking tits needed to hurry up and grow!
So how does one speed up the puberty process?
"Might as well get your cherry popped while you're at it..."
His words rang in my head and right then it clicked.
SEX!
Sex is supposed to change the body, right? If I have sex, my nubs should grow then. Genius! Why didn't I think of this before? My body wouldn't cooperate on its own so I had to take the necessary steps to get it there. If God wasn't going to help me, I would have to take matters into my own hands.
I needed to have sex.
Okay, Holy Power. I've waited for You long enough. It's time to do things my way.
I know I said I was going to wait until I loved someone before I had sex but I already knew the person I wanted to have sex with. That person was my big brother, Edward. True, it's supposed be forbidden to think of him in that way but I didn't care. It wasn't like we shared the same blood type, so it couldn't be that prohibited.
Okay. All I needed now was to find a sucker I could trust enough to let fuck me. Yet, who could be the right person for the job? I ran down a list of guys' names that I thought were cute enough to participate with me in doing the dirty deed. Opening up my Forks year book, I could only shake my head at the choices.
Not Mike Newton. He'd tell everybody in the damn school and Jessica Stanley was smitten over him. I couldn't do that to her regardless of the fact that I didn't care for her. Not Tyler Crowley because he already had a loony on his back. For whatever unknown reason, Lauren Mallory already hated my guts. I didn't want to add insult to injury or have any unnecessary drama.
Eric Yor—never mind. I don't even know why I let myself think about that one.
David Cambridge— Ugh, too hairy.
Lionel Harris— heard he has stalker tendencies.
Christopher Willie—Ali says to never trust a guy whose last name is also a first name.
Keith Rice— heavy suspicions that he's in the closet, like way in the back of it.
I kept flipping through the book page after page but I couldn't find one guy I wanted to fuck without thinking up something negative about him. I shut the yearbook and heaved it across the room. Shoot. There's nobody at that fucking school who would be right for me! I'd have to go outside the perimeters to find him. Only. I didn't know anyone else outside of Forks.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
Yes, you really do.
No, I really don't. Quit screwing around.
You're about as clueless as a deer caught in headlights. Think back. You lied about being with him, almost got him killed because of it? Hello? Damn, do I still have to spell everything out for you?
Jacob Black?
Yes, Jacob Black.
I hadn't seen Jacob in forever, not since he stopped bugging me and started dating that girl named Leah Clearwater. From what my dad says, Jacob still lives in La Push. He got himself a job at an Auto Shop fixing cars and restoring old ones in his spare time. Jacob's eighteen, the same age as Edward when we were in his room that day.
Edward may not have been for doing the underage but I hoped that Jacob didn't have that same mentality. I was sixteen now and we were closer in age than Edward. I hoped he wasn't still with Leah and still had the hots for me. If he was, then…then she was going to have to move her ass on and get a new guy. I was all for the one she was with.
Getting into my car, I started the engine and drove to La Push. I didn't know the area that well but La Push wasn't too big so I should be able to find the auto shop where Jacob worked. Turns out it wasn't difficult at all, seeing as he was the one that owned the place.
His last name was on the sign above it in big red letters that read Black Auto Repair Shop. The big question was how to get him to talk to me. I couldn't go in there and say, 'Hey Jake, long time, no see! I know it's been a while but would you mind dumping your girlfriend and take on fucking me? We don't have to be together; I just really need to get my cherry popped so my brother can finally come home'.
My car was used but it was in good condition. There were no problems with it, as Charlie had it checked recently. I was pretty sure that Jake was the one who checked it.
Poke a hole in the gas line.
Huh?
[sighs] Poke-a-hole-in-the-gas-line.
There's nothing in the car I can do that with.
Listen, fucker. You have the knife that guy gave to you when you booked it. Take the GODDAMN knife and poke a fucking hole in the gas line. For crying out loud, Bella, think! This is what we do!
That's right; I still had the knife that guy Paul had given me. I'd put it in the pocket of the driver's side door after the time some assholes in Port Angeles were following me around. Pulling the knife from its case, I gripped it in my hand and stepped out of the car. Looking around to make sure nobody was watching me, I stooped to my knees and crept 007-like toward the passenger side where the gas tank was. Locating the gas line, I used the knife to poke a hole in it but the line was too thick and I couldn't get through it without cutting the whole gas line.
Cut it.
I am not cutting the gas line. I need my car!
You want Edward to come home, don't you?
Yes, but—
Then stop fucking around and cut the line.
Hacking at the gas line, I cut into it with the blade until it slashed through halfway. Then the damn gas spilled out, leaking all over my turtleneck. I smelled like a damn Shells station.
"Ugh!"
There was no way to change my clothing so I just had to suck up at looking like a damn fool in front of Jacob. I got back in the car and drove into Jacob's auto shop frantically honking my horn. One of the Quileute boys held out his hands to stop me. I brought the car to a halt.
"Bella, what's the matter?" the boy with the deep voice spoke.
I looked at the incredibly tall statue who stopped me from ramming into the shop and realized that it was Jacob. Jacob looked different from the last time I remembered him. Before, he was five feet-eleven inches tall and incredibly frail with long hair. This Jacob looked to be six feet-Goliath inches tall and hulking. His long hair was no more as he sported a short haircut close to his scalp. The top half of his work uniform was tied around his waist. The black beater shirt he wore hugged his large muscles.
He gawked at me with his chestnut brown eyes. My eyes locked onto his face and I was dazed. Jacob Black had improved, turning himself into an incredibly handsome man.
I could not move. My hands clinched the steering wheel in an attempt to keep myself from reaching out to touch him. He said something but I didn't hear it because I was too busy being mesmerized by the way his lips moved as he talked. Jacob waved his hand in front of my face, breaking me out of my trance.
"I'm sorry, what?" I repeatedly blinked back into focus.
"I said you smell like gas. What happened?"
"Leak. The gas…there's a leak…over there," I said, pointing to wherever.
Jacob smiled knowing that I had just checked him out and then headed to where the leak was. Looking under the car, I heard him yell back at me, "Your gas line's been cut!"
"Oh my god, are you serious?" I quickly removed the knife from the floor of the car and tossed it back into the pocket of my door. Then I stepped out of the car and walked over to stand by him.
"Yes. How did that happen?"
Feigning shock, I replied, "I have no idea. When I looked under the car, I saw it leaking and drove here right away. My dad told me to come to you if I had a problem with my car."
"Why didn't you have him drive you? That was dangerous driving here with your gas spilling out this bad."
"That's why I drove in here like I did."
"Well, you're going to need a ride home because I won't be able to get this done tonight."
"Do you mind taking me home?" I fluttered my eyelashes like Alice did when she was flirting with a guy.
"I can, but you'll have to wait until I close up in another hour."
"That's fine," I said a little hastily. "I can wait."
That's exactly what I did. I spent that whole hour watching Jacob work on the engine of another car. His muscles would flex as he twisted his tools to fix the problem under the hood. The sweat glistened over his mocha complexioned skin. I tried to keep my tongue in my mouth from drooling at the sight of him. How did he drastically become such a buff piece of meat? I wondered if he was just as big in his jeans as he was on the outside.
Once he locked up the shop, he led me to his pick-up truck, which had some major adjustments done to it since I last saw it.
"Wow, did you fix it up like this?" I asked.
He smiled at his baby. "Yeah. I fixed the engine, replaced the old bench, repainted the exterior, and added a new sound system."
"Nice."
"Wait until you hear it."
Jacob helped me inside the truck, his hands lifting me by my hips. His body temperature had always been warmer than the average person and feeling his hot hands on me heated up my insides.
"You been working out, Bella?" he asked as he closes the cab door.
"A little bit. Here and there." I sarcastically responded.
"You look good." Jacob's eyes quickly scanned my body before he walked to the driver's side of the truck. Once in the cab, he didn't even buckle his seat belt as he started the engine. The truck purred to life now, whereas it used to cough roughly when coming to a start. Buck Cherry blasted through the new sound system. I smiled widely at him.
"Kick ass, aint it?" Jacob bragged before he pulling off.
During the drive home, I decided to get into Jacob's business. I needed to know where he stood with this Leah girl before I began scheming.
"So. I hear you have a girlfriend now," I said.
He looked genuinely shocked. "Who told you that?"
"My dad said you're dating that girl, Leah."
"What?" he sounded flabbergasted by what I'd said. "I'm not dating Leah! I've never dated Leah, she's like a sister to me."
"Hmm. I wonder why he would say that."
"Charlie probably thinks that because he occasionally sees her in the car with me. We go to community college together so I take her to and from school but we've never dated. She has a fiancé."
"Oh." I replied, thinking how extremely off Charlie was with their dating story.
The car became silent for a few seconds and then Jacob asked. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you inquiring about my status?"
I shrugged and said, "Just curious. We haven't spoken in a while."
Jacob chuckled replying, "You could have asked a more standard question other than whether I had a girlfriend or not."
"I just said it, Jacob. It's like any other question in the world. It wasn't even a question; it was a statement."
"Okay."
I didn't miss the smirk on his face when he focused back on the road. I stared at Jacob's profile and suddenly it was déjà vu all over again. It was the same way I used to stare at Edward while he drove. Watching his fingers drum the steering wheel, I compared the differences between the two men.
Edward drives an manual. Jacob drives a automatic, like me. Edward would never just turn on the radio when we were in the car. He was an uptight driver who sped down the streets like a maniac, while Jacob's composure was more relaxed and he kept close to the speed limits. I entertained the thought of being with Jacob the way I wanted to be with Edward.
I could tell Jacob's chest muscles were as solid through his shirt as his exposed bicep muscles. Was Jacob as gentle as Edward or was he as rough as he appeared? Were his lips soft and his kisses sweet like Edward's? Did he kiss the French way, too? Was his dick big like Edward's or did the steroids he took shrink his package? Jacob had grown into a fine-looking man but could I let him touch me the way Edward had?
I pictured how Jacob looked working in the auto shop. He may not have been Edward but he was the closest to being as attractive as my brother. If he still liked me the same way he did last year, maybe he'd be willing to sleep with me.
"Has anyone ever told you how rude it is to stare at people?" Jacob broke the silence.
When I didn't say anything, Jacob turned his full face toward me in the darkness and that's when I knew. Jacob was the one whom I would have sex with.
Too swiftly, I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into Jacob's lap. He swerved before putting a stop to the car.
"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked in a panicky voice.
"Making up for lost time," I answered. Then I pushed my lips onto Jacob's. He tried to pull back at first. I put both my arms around his neck and held him in place.
Oh no. You're not getting away that easy.
After several seconds Jacob stopped fighting and wrapped his heated arms around my petite frame, pulling me closer to him. He wasted no time shoving his tongue into my mouth. I kissed him back with just that much force.
So he does French kiss.
His hands slid down to my ass, gripping it with intensity and power. Jacob's kisses were different from Edward's. They didn't give off that energy I felt with my brother but my body reacted to him.
When I reached between us to pull up his shirt, Jacob stopped the kiss and prevented my arms from pulling his shirt any further. I immediately began to feel rejected. Again.
"Bella, what is this? Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what? Don't you want me anymore?"
"Hell yeah I want you! You feel that, don't you?" He moved his lower half under me and I felt his erection pressing into me.
"So why did you stop me?" I angrily asked.
"Because I want to know why you're doing this now, after all this time."
Why can't he just shut up and do me already?
"Isn't it obvious? I like you, Jacob. Truthfully, I think I've always liked you."
"Liked me so much to turn me down every time I asked you out?"
"If Edward would have found out I had a crush on you, he would have killed you. I was trying to keep you safe."
"So what happened after he left?" Jacob asked. "Why didn't you say anything then?"
"I told you. I heard you had a girlfriend, so I thought that you didn't want me anymore."
"So you're ready to do this now, give me a chance at being your boyfriend? I can take you out on dates?"
Boyfriend? Heeeeell no.
But I needed him to be my sex toy. If I had to go on a couple of dates to convince him to have sex with me, then I had to go with the flow.
I kissed Jacob again, much slower. When he started to lose himself in the kiss, I pulled back from him.
"Does that answer your question?"
That's how my relationship with Jacob Black started.
We didn't do more than kissing that night. Jacob said that he respected me too much to have sex with me in his truck. For three months, Jacob and I strictly dated. With Jacob, I could be myself. No pretending, no silly fights, no sabotaging him to give me attention. I tried dressing up for him a couple of times but he said he liked me better the way I used to be.
He'd take me on movie and dinner dates two times a week, as it was all that Charlie allowed. One day out of the week, he would have dinner with us. On the weekends, I'd hang out with him at his auto shop or at his house on the Res. He once took me to a carnival in Port Angeles where he succeeded in winning me the biggest stuffed animals, replacing the ones I used to have back in Phoenix. We just hung out together and had fun.
Yet we still hadn't had sex, the main reason I was doing this whole thing.
It's not like I didn't try. But I made the mistake of telling him that I was a virgin and Jacob just wouldn't go any further than kissing and touching. He was beginning to piss me off.
"But I want to, Jacob." I said while we were sitting in his truck after a dinner date.
Jacob shook his head. "Bella, I don't know if I can do that just yet."
"Why not?"
"Don't you want to wait a little longer? We've barely been together three months!"
"I'm ready now and have been for a very long time. I don't need a specific time line to have sex, Jacob!"
"Why do you want to have sex so bad, Bella? I'm trying to be a gentleman about this and all you do is get mad at me and throw tantrums."
He was taking my virginity too seriously. It was time to throw in my acting game.
"This is important to me. Being with you makes it important to me! The way I feel about you? Nobody has ever made me feel this way. I don't want to know if another person ever could. So when you ask me why I want it so badly, it's because you make me want you in that way. That is why I want to have sex."
And of course he went into a smiling frenzy because I'd just given him the compliment of his life. Some of it was true. Jacob did make me feel special when we were together. He made me feel like nothing or no one else mattered. I didn't feel strongly about him as I did about Edward but it was enough to make me actually want to have sex with him. I just hope I'd said enough to change his mind.
He sighed and responded. "How does Saturday night sound?"
Holy bejesus, it worked!
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I think I've kept my hands off of you long enough."
That night I wanted to look seductive for Jacob. I wore a thin strap red satin dress that stopped mid-thigh and red four-inch heel pumps. I loosened my hair from the ponytail I normally sported and let the long waves flow down my back.
In the bathroom, I tried to prepare my face for my 'date' with Jacob. Sitting the contents on the counter top, I went down the list of make-up and made an attempt to get my face ready like Rose had shown me. It should have been easy because my attire was pretty simple. I shouldn't have had a difficult time applying it, right?
Wrong.
Things didn't work out as planned. First, I rubbed too much blush on my cheeks. I took the eye shadow and spread it all over my eyelids but it was caked on. While brushing the mascara over my eyelashes, I accidentally poked myself in my eye and it burned like shit.
"Dammit!"
Mama Beth walked past the bathroom and saw me holding my eye. "Isabella, what in the name of God are you doing? Why does your face look like that?"
She just made me feel more like crap by pointing out how much of a bad job I had done. The heat flamed my cheeks and I could feel my face turning crimson by the second. I threw the stupid make-up down on the floor and started crying in aggravation.
"I can't do anything right," I sobbed.
"Oh, Bella." Elizabeth grabbed my face towel and began wiping off the damage I'd done to my face. "I remember having this same problem when I was your age and going on my first date."
Yeah, when was that, like fifty years ago?
Once she fixed my mistakes, she started reapplying the make-up on my face and continued telling me her story.
"His name was Felix Matthews and he was in the twelfth grade. When he asked me to the winter ball, I was psyched! I ran home and told my mother I had my first date and that I needed her to make me a new dress. We didn't have much money back then. My mother earned whatever extra she could sewing clothes and selling them from home or making house deliveries. With the little money she had saved, she went out and bought everything I needed for the ball. My father was not happy about it but my mother told him to shut his pie hole and that I had to start dating some time.
"Anyway, she made me this fantastic black and white knee-length dress that looked absolutely ravishing! That night Felix called me and told me that he would be picking me up in an hour. In the middle of helping me get ready, my mother got a house call and had to go fix a few stitches in a dress for a customer whose toddler ripped a hole in it. She told me she would be right back. Fifteen minutes before I was supposed to leave, my mother still hadn't made it home. I panicked because I needed to get my face ready for the date before Felix got there.
"So I took it upon myself to fix my own makeup. Bella, I looked atrocious!" She laughed.
"I only had minutes left and I thought I would never be ready when Felix got there. I was crying and throwing a fit when my father stormed into my room demanding what the hell was my problem. Upon seeing the issue, he demanded I stop crying and to get that crap off my face. When I went back into my room, my father sat on the bed and gave me instructions on what to do."
Then she mimicked her father's voice, quoting him. " 'Not too much blush, Elizabeth….Now just rub some of that gook on your eyelashes…ah ah, gently….Okay, now spread the lipstick on your lips like butter….notthatmuch…..now dab your lips on the tissue…..there ya go….now that's how my girl's suppose to look!'
When I asked my father how he knew what to do, he just replied that 'You learn new things being married to a woman for twenty years and you're forced to sit and watch her actions.' By the time my mother came back, Felix was already there and we were leaving out the door. She made us stay an extra ten minutes to take some pictures with the new camera she bought while she was out.
"So, that's the story of how I learned how to use this stuff. My dear old father is the one who had shown me how to apply make-up and I've been using his technique almost every day for twenty-eight years. Not bad for an old man, don't you think?"
Mama Beth turned my face toward the mirror to see the results. I was speechless at what I saw. I had no idea I could look like…like that.
Damn, your dad is The Man!
"Let's just say that's how I caught Edward Sr.'s attention. The poor man wouldn't stop following me around; it was pitiful. He must have asked me out about a hundred times but I kept saying no. I didn't want to date a rich boy. When a man like that already has everything he could ever want out of life, what else could he yearn for?
I didn't want him to use me and throw me away just so he could move on to the next pretty poor girl he saw. That didn't stop Edward Sr. from coming to my workplace at the local eatery to have dinner and hassle me. He got my attention when he insisted on walking me home one night after I refused his car ride. There were a set of train tracks near my apartment. Believe me when I tell you, Edward Sr. laid his ass on those tracks and told me he wouldn't move until I said I'd go out with him.
"So I tell him, 'Fine, get yourself hit like the fool that you are!' and I stormed off. Halfway up the block, I heard the train's horn blaring. Looking back, I saw that Edward still hadn't moved and wasn't planning on doing so. He lay there with his eyes closed and looked prepared to die. I ran back over to him and yelled at him to get up. He refused to move. 'Not until say yes, my darling Elizabeth! If you won't go out with me, I don't have the will to live.'
I agreed just so I could save his life and the rest is history."
"Wow, thanks, Mama Beth."
"No problem, baby. Have fun on your date."
Turning about-face, she left.
I spotted Jacob's truck in the driveway as I pulled up to his house. The lights in the house were off. When I got to the porch and knocked on the door, he didn't answer.
Where the hell is he?
I turned the doorknob and the door opened. Entering the house and closing the door behind me, I caught a whiff of a delicious aroma in the air that smelled similar to mushroom ravioli.
Walking into the kitchen, I watched as Jacob lit two candles on the table. There were two plates filled with my favorite dish and a bottle of wine set on the countertop. Jacob looked up at me and gave me a wide smile. He came up to me, kissed my lips, and guided me to the table.
"I can't cook so I ordered the food," he said as he pulled out my chair for me.
"It looks fantastic." I told him. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome." Jacob grabbed the wine, popped the cork and poured it into my wine glass. "It's sparkling cider. I can't feed you alcohol because of your age."
I giggled. "Sparkling cider is fine."
After pouring himself a glass, Jacob sat across from me at the table and we began our meal. The silence at the table while we're eating became very awkward. Jacob kept clearing his throat like he wanted to say something but, every time I met his eyes, he didn't say a word. After the fourth time he cleared his throat, I asked him what was on his mind.
"Look," he started. "Before this happens, I just want you to know something."
Oh God. Please don't let him say that he loves me.
"Okay," I cautiously said.
"I know that I should have told you this, as it has been the main reason I've been holding myself back…"
"What is it, Jacob? Just say it."
"See, the thing is…" he paused and then sighed.
When he didn't go on right away, I coaxed him to finish."The thing is?"
"I've never done that before, so…you and I have the same title when it comes to sexual inexperience."
Good God in China! You've got to be kidding me!
"Oh."I couldn't even pretend not to be baffled by his admission.
"That doesn't mean that I didn't want to before; it's just that I don't exactly know what I'm doing, either."
"Okay." I was at a loss for words.
"So do you still want to? I mean, I'll try to do my best to please you."
Again, are you fucking kidding me? Out of all the guys to pick, you pick a fucking virgin?
Hey, you picked him first!
Nuh-uh. I'm not taking the wrap for this one. I just presented you with another option. It's not my fault. You're the one who's so damn picky!
Jacob looked saddened that I hadn't answered right away. He must have thought I didn't want him because of what he revealed to me. I slid back my chair from the table and went to sit on his lap.
"Of course I still want to."
His head popped up and his eyes were full of surprise. "You do?"
"Yes! I just thought that you've done this before because…well because you're good-looking. And you're a guy. But that doesn't change anything. I still want us to have sex. Hell, we didn't even have to have dinner!"
"We didn't?"
"Hell, no! We don't have to eat at all."
"So we can just skip this part right now and get to the loving?"
I nodded.
Jacob didn't think twice as he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. Laying me on the bed, Jacob climbed on top of me and we kissed. His hot hands were all over me! After a minute, I felt faint from the extra weight he'd been putting on me and I told him to stop.
"Oh, I'm sorry." He said.
"No, it's okay," I panted. "You're kind of heavy is all."
"I'll try not to do that again," he responded before kissing me again.
Instead of laying directly on me, Jacob put his upper weight onto his elbows so I could breathe. Slowly his lips worked their way down to my neck. I moaned at the feeling, something I'd never done with Edward.
"Does that feel good?" he asked.
I nodded and said, "Yes, keep going."
He did and his hands made their way to the straps of my dress. "Can I?"
Again, I nodded. He leaned up a bit to pull down the straps of my dress, unveiling my not so there breasts.
"You're amazing," he told me.
Then Jacob's lips found nubs. He engulfed my full breast into his hot mouth and the sensation was fantastic. I couldn't keep still and he paused for fear that he'd hurt me.
I protested, "No, don't stop, keep going!"
I grabbed his face and basically molded him to my chest. He didn't seem to mind because he grasped my nipple between his teeth and bit down gently.
"Oh my god, that feels so good…."
Jacob then started to suck on my full breast again and one statement from a conversation Alice and I had earlier in the week came back to me.
"You want your boobs to grow? Just let him suck on them. That's how I got mine."
So I demanded him to suck harder on my breast.
"That won't hurt you?" he asked, his face full of worry.
Ugh, why is he asking so many questions?
"No, I'll be fine."
He shrugged and then proceeded to suck harder and…Ow! That hurts damnit! But I didn't tell him to stop because I needed my breast to grow. I bit my lip, enduring the pain as long as I possibly could until I'd had enough on my right breast and demanded him to switch.
It may be painful now but in the end, they'll both win.
Yeah, well they better. I'm not doing this for nothing.
When Jacob finished sucking the skin off my chest, he pulled the rest of my dress down until I was only in my underwear.
"You are so fucking beautiful," he whispered softly. "I can't wait to see what you feel like."
Jacob stood to strip himself of his shirt and slacks. The erection he had made a tent of his boxers and I saw that he wasn't as small I predicted the steroids would make him.
That's because he's not taking steroids, you idiot. Look at him; he's all man!
Jacob's solid chest looked like was made of steel. He wasn't as bulky as Emmett because of his height. He was beautiful, maybe even up to par with Edward.
But he's not Edward.
No, he's not Edward.
Jacob and his pitched tent climbed back into bed and on top of me. I grabbed his face, pulling him back to mine for another intense kiss. I'd come to adore the way Jacob kissed me. His passion shown through each kiss he'd ever given me. Add to the extra heat of his body as he grinded against me and I was fully turned on by him.
He reached between us to rub my core through my thin red underwear.
"You're very hot down there," he spoke in a low voice.
"Is that a good thing?" I asked.
"That's an incredibly good thing."
Jacob sat up to pull my underwear from my body. He hadn't done it in the slow way Edward had. He instead discarded them very quickly and tossed them to the side. Jacob stared between my legs for a long while. I started to truly wonder if something was wrong with me. First it was Edward running away from it. Now Jacob was staring at it all funny. I had never shaved down there before so maybe it was the hair on my snatch that was grossing him out.
Only he wasn't looking at it disgustingly. If I really had to give a word to what he was doing, I'd say that he was…ogling it?
Jacob's ogling my pussy!
"Jacob?"
"Huh?"
Damn, he's in a trance!
"Are we ever going to get around to doing it?"
He looked into my eyes apologetically, peering back and forth between my face and my pussy.
"I'm sorry," he conveyed. "It's just, I've never seen one before! Not in real life that is. I've only seen them in X-rated movies."
"Does it look okay?" I closed my eyes not knowing what to expect.
"Does it look okay? It looks fucking perfect!"
I opened my eyes and watched Jacob's hand inch toward my core. I didn't know what to do so I lay very still with my arms at my side. His rough fingers rubbed between my folds and he moaned. I jumped at the sensation as his finger made contact with my clit. When he saw that, he touched it again. My response was the same. Jacob rubbed that spot constantly until I was shaking so much I couldn't control it.
The next thing I knew, I was seeing floating stars and bright colors as I clamped my eyes shut and experienced my first orgasm. It lasted for over a minute because he was still rubbing me in that spot. When I finally came down and opened my eyes, Jacob was out of his boxers and stark naked before me.
"Bella, that was unbelievable watching you cum like that. Utterly incredible!"
As he rambled on about my orgasm, I stared at his penis. I couldn't really tell if Jacob was bigger than Edward but his penis certainly did look different. Edward's circumcised whereas Jacob isn't. I believed that Edward's penis is longer and Jacob's is a tad bit wider.
Jacob towered over me and kissed me as his fingers worked my sensitive area. I could hear the oozing of my femininity against his fingers as he caressed me. He slipped a finger inside of me and I paused during the kiss.
"Does that hurt?" he asked when he noticed my stiff posture.
I shook my head. Looking down between us, I observed Jacob's hand as he fingered me. The feeling was dissimilar to anything I had ever felt but I didn't necessarily dislike it. When he pushed another finger inside me, it became uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I didn't stop him. I would have to get used to the palpation since he'd be sticking his dick into me soon.
Adding another finger, Jacob pushed his fingers into me further and something inside me felt like it snapped akin to an elastic rubber band. The lower part of my body clamped down on his fingers as that was first my initial reaction. Jacob's fingers pulled back and pushed into me again, making the stinging of the snap escalate and I painfully yelped.
"Oh shit," Jacob said, pulling his fingers out of me. I looked down immediately to see blood covering them.
Yuck, I'm bleeding! Why am I bleeding?
As if he heard what I was thinking, Jacob stated, "I think I broke it."
I panicked in terror. "Oh My God! What did you do?"
Oh no! He's broken my vagina…he fucking broke it! I knew I shouldn't have trusted him. Now how am I supposed to get Edward? There has to be a place where I can fix it, a pussy repair shop of some sort!
"I broke your cherry, Bella. I didn't know I could do that by hand."
Blood is similar to the dye of cherry juice. Oooh. That's what the phrase means? Huh, I never would have thought it. Silly me.
"I didn't know that, either." I pushed myself up on my forearms and stared at the small stain on the sheet.
Jacob grabbed a folded towel lying on his dresser to wipe the blood from his fingers and me.
"So, that's it? I'm not a virgin anymore?" I asked.
"I guess so."
"That's so stupid! We haven't even done it yet!"
What the hell's the purpose of having sex when cherries break so easily? Had I known that, I would have done it at home myself!
"We can still do it, Bella. You're still a virgin on the inside. It'll still feel the same because I haven't gone in you."
"So we're supposed to do it all the way?" I asked.
"Yes, if you still want to."
If what he said was true, then I was only half a virgin. We had to do it the rest of the way in order for it to count.
"Okay. Let's do it." I said.
Jacob searched through his pants pocket until he found a condom. The little packet read Lifestyles. The wrapping is plastic, not like the foiled ones Edward used. It didn't even read the word Magnum, which I knew meant large, so Jacob couldn't have been as big as Edward after all.
Jacob rolled the balloon-like material over his penis. It didn't look comfy. Still, he seemed okay with how odd the material looked on him so I assumed it fit to his approval.
Positioning himself between my legs, Jacob rubbed himself around my entrance. The damn thing felt so big down there and I wasn't sure if it would be able to penetrate me.
As he began pushing himself against me, I stopped him.
Jacob's facial expression switched between excitement and disturbance when he asked, "What's wrong? Do you want to stop?"
"Can you do it fast?"
"Won't it hurt more that way?"
"No. I mean, a friend of mine told me that fast is better."
That's what Edward said. Edward is always right about stuff like this.
Jacob seemed unsure of my request. "I don't think I can do it that way. You might bleed again. How about I go slowly and if you don't like it, I'll just push right in?"
No, I want you to do it the way I tell you to, damnit!
Only I couldn't say that rudely because it might piss him off and he wouldn't want to do it anymore.
"Fine, have it your way," I responded.
"Are you sure you're okay with this, Bella? It just seems like you're in a rush to get it over with."
Is this kid for real? Come on already; let's get the ball rolling, homie!
"Yes, I'm sure."
He looked at me for reassurance first before going for the kill. It felt like everything was going fine until the moisture from my body made the head of his cock slide into uncharted territory.
"Ouch! Wrong hole!" I slapped his arm. "Jesus, that fucking hurts! Get it out!"
"Sorry, sorry. You're just so wet down there and it's making me slide everywhere."
"Try it again and this time, get it in the right hole?"
After nudging me several times, Jacob finally found my entrance and thrust a portion of his penis inside me. At first it didn't hurt but as he pushed more of himself in me, I started to feel the burn and it became very irritating.
I held my breath and shut my eyes until his pelvis met mine.
"I'm in." Jacob looked excited that he'd now gotten a chance to stick his dick inside something other than a lubricated fist.
Yeah, I feel that, Sarge. Now get to it, get to it.
"Are you okay?"
OH. MY. GOD. THE QUESTIONS!
I didn't answer him. Instead, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me, holding on for dear life. Jacob rocked back and forth slowly inside me and the ache was more excruciating than I ever anticipated.
Going slow certainly wasn't the right way to do this.
"You can go faster if you want," I said. "I really don't like it like this."
"Okay, faster it is."
When Jacob sped up, the pain didn't consequently subside but it was bearable. Minutes later, he was panting like a dog and his sweat was dripping all over me.
Grooooosss.
"Oh god, oh God, oh GOD!" Jacob chanted.
Then, just like that, he was shuddering and howling into my neck. Several seconds later he went limp and collapsed on top of me.
That's it? That was sex?
After I got Jacob to roll off of me, I didn't even wait for him to cuddle with me. I hopped my ass out of bed and got dressed in record time.
"Bella, what the hell?"
"I gotta go."
"So that's it then? You're just going to up and leave immediately after we've made love?"
Made love. Ha! What we did was anything but.
"I uh…I just remembered that my dad asked me to do something for him. If he gets home and I haven't done it, he's going to flip out!"
I'd hoped that sounded serious but he didn't look like he was buying my excuse. That was too bad. I had to get out of there.
"That's fucked up, Bella, really fucked up. I thought you were finally beginning to like me."
How is it that I'm the one who lost my virginity in pain and he's the one who needs comfort?
"Jake, don't be like that. I do like you, a lot."
Please believe me. Pleeease believe me.
"Yeah, I can tell by the way you instantaneously threw on all your shit."
I gasped out, "You think I used you for sex?"
I mean, I did but what guy in his right mind complains about that?
"Didn't you?"
"No! Jake, you popped my cherry. That means I trusted youenough to be the first guy I ever let inside my body. Why would I do that if I was using you for sex?"
Although, that is what I actually did.
He still wasn't buying my shit.
Alright, I don't have time for this. I've got things to do.
"Look, I have to get home before my dad does. Call you later?"
"Whatever."
When I got home, I ran upstairs and into my room. Quickly undressing, I went to the bathroom and stared at my naked body.
What the hell?
I thought sex was supposed to make me look and feel different. Older. Mature. What I saw in the mirror was still the same old me. Nothing enhanced. All I earned was a few hickeys on my neck and blood in my undies.
This sex thing was some tricky bullshit. So how many times am I going to have to do this until I look like NOT me? Obviously once wasn't enough.
Damn.
Now I would have to call Jacob and apologize to him. If I could convince him to forgive me then maybe he'd fuck me again. Even though sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be, I needed him to do this. If I didn't look different after the second time, we'd have to do it over and over again until I started seeing some improvements.
I found out getting Jacob to forgive me wasn't as easy as I'd thought. For the first few days, he wouldn't answer or return my calls. Finally deciding that I waited long enough for him to get back to me, I drove to Jacob's job to confront him.
"Why haven't you been answering my calls?" I yelled at him as I slammed my car door.
Without skipping a beat he yelled back, "Because you ran out on me during the most eventful moment of my life, that's why!"
"I told you I had to do something for my dad!"
"You lied. I called the house and spoke to Charlie about that 'thing' you had to do. He didn't even know what I was talking about!"
Busted. Shit. Hey Connie, a little help here, please?
What's up...oh, you finally got us caught in some shit, didn't you?
I don't have time for that! I'm out here looking really dense right now.
Where would you be without me? Just stay calm and repeat after me: Okay I lied, but that was only because I freaked out.
"Okay, I lied."
Jacob looked livid.
Finish it.
"But that was only because I freaked out."
"Freaked out about what, Bella?"
I don't know, I just did.
That's so not going to work.
Alright, have it your way. I'm outta here….
No, wait! Ok, ok.
"I don't know. I just did."
"Bella, you made me feel like a complete moron after you left like that. You had me undermining my self-confidence. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you!"
Dammit, Connie, I told you that shit wouldn't work.
Trust me, will ya? Tell him: I apologize for my behavior and it will never happen again. Then add your own little twist to it. I can't believe you're losing your swagger!
"I apologize for my behavior and it will never happen again. Everything just happened so fast and I didn't know what to say or do afterward. I was scared, so I took off on you and went straight home, crying myself to sleep."
His hard expression softened. "You did?"
Oh, you're good.
"Yes. That's why I've been trying to call you to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. Please don't be mad at me."
I walked over to Jacob and wrapped my arms around his huge structure, burying my face into his solid chest. Not being able to deny me any longer, Jacob embraced me.
And I only thought Edward fell for this kind of crap!
"That is exactly why I wanted to make sure you were ready." Jacob said, kissing the top of my head.
Yes, we're back in there like swimwear.
"I know that now," I replied while gazing up to meet his eyes, "and I'm beyond prepared now that I know what to expect. We should try again."
And again we did try. Over and over and over. I can't recall how many times Jacob and I had sex. The drenching perspiration immensely decreased. Jacob was getting much better with practice. What started out as five minute intervals gradually increased to ten, and steadily increased to twenty. Nowadays, Jacob could stretch his sex skills up to thirty minutes a round.
I also progressed in the bedroom. Instead of sitting motionless under Jacob during sex, I started to interact with his movements. I would roll my hips under him and we'd move together in a harmonized rhythm. I learned to get myself off more by caressing my clitoris while doing the deed.
I influenced Jacob into trying new positions. We'd do it sideways, doggie-style, and with me on top, which has become my favorite position. We were fucking like two sex addicts with a coke habit.
Then came the conditions of oral sex.
I loved oral sex…when it was performed on me. When Jacob volunteered to put his mouth in the place his dick went, I freely let him try it out. When his face and tongue would be buried so deep in my pussy, there were moments where I thought he'd literally drown in my wetness. But Jacob said that he'd bask in the essence of me any time. I had no objection to stopping him.
Me performing oral sex on him?
Nonexistent.
The truth was I'd already given Jacob one virgin piece of me. I'd only given it to him because of my brother's suggestion before he'd left for school. I simply didn't feel that my oral talent belonged to Jacob.
Every part of my mind, spirit, my recently used body, and my mouth belonged to Edward. Whenever he decided to get the shit stick out of his ass and come home, I would make sure he knew it.
Somewhere between making Jacob suck my breasts regularly and all the premarital sex I was having, God had finally answered my prayers. One day while putting on one of my bras, I immediately noticed that my breasts filled it to the max, spilling over the 30B cup.
Calling Rose and Ali over, I asked to them to help me figure out the correct measurements for new bras. Both were completely astounded by my new growth.
Rose started on me first. "Hot damn, Bella! How much sex are you and Jake having?"
"A lot!"
"You're not pregnant, are you?" Alice broke in, the concern evident in her voice.
"No, I'm not pregnant! I'm on birth control and we use condoms every time. Are you saying that I'm fat?"
"No, not at all! It's just that you're so curvy in all the right spots."
"I am?"
"You don't see it? Your hips have spread and your tits are really tits now! You have to be at least a C-cup; I can tell by just looking at you." Alice groped my breast in her hands.
"Hey, stop that!" I swatted her fondling hands away.
"Damn, girl. Jacob screwed you over in a literal fashion." Rose replied.
After using the measuring tape to correct my cup size, I found that Alice was right. I went from a baby 30B to an average 34C cup in a little over a year.
My knockers finally arrived!
YAAAAAY!
It must have been coincidence when I checked my email weeks later in October and saw I had a message from Edward.
Hey Loser!
Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to get in touch with you since September! What the fuck is up with that? You better not be ditching me for some half-assed shithead you call a boyfriend. Anyway, mom's threatening to make a road trip to Seattle and drag me home by my ear and I will not have her ruining the rep I built here. Get your ass in gear and your jokes equipped. Come Thanksgiving, Big Brother's heading home!
Edward
P.S. How are those oven mitts coming along? :)
To say I was happy about Edward coming home would be the understatement of a lifetime.
Try Elated. Jubilant. Euphoric. Exhilarated. Pretty much, any word that stood for a plain word such as 'happy' would describe the joy I felt when reading that email.
Counting down the last days until Edward came home, I found myself asking questions about the brother I hadn't seen in two years.
Did he miss me like I missed him? Did he ever think about that day in his room? Does he look different or still the same? Did he have a mustache, a beard, or both? Does he still twitch his nose like that genie from Bewitch? What if he gained weight and had gotten fat? Did he have a girlfriend? If so, is he bringing her here to meet us?
He better not bring her here to meet us. I'll kill that bitch!
I hadn't broken things off with Jacob yet. We hadn't seen much of each other in the past month since he was back in school for the new semester and working overtime running the auto shop. Business usually picked up for him around this time of year and car service doubled due to Forks' rough winter weather.
I wondered what Edward would think if he found out about Jacob and I officially romping in the sheets. It pissed him off royally when I fibbed about it the last time he was here. Would he really kill Jake this time around if Edward knew the things he did to me?
Probably so.
I came to the conclusion that I needed to break it off with Jacob.
It's the day before Edward is suppose to arrive and I've asked Jacob to meet me at my house this afternoon so we could 'talk'.
I've been lying on my bed trying to come up with a decent way to break things off with Jacob when Mama Beth calls me down to the kitchen. Before I turn toward the direction of the kitchen, I see a flash of headlights in the driveway. Thinking it was Charlie arriving home early, I head straight into the kitchen. Mama Beth just hung up the telephone and she looks like she is suppressing a smile.
"Yes, Mama Beth?"
She eyes my outfit and says, "Don't you look appropriate."
I look down at the blue tube mini dress and the three-inch black heels I'm wearing. "Thanks."
"Could you get the door for me? There should be a package arriving soon."
"There was a car coming up the driveway just a minute ago."
"Oh, that must be it! Could you get it and bring it directly to me? I've waited a very long time for it to get here."
"Okay. Be right back."
I head to the front door and open it, expecting to see a delivery man holding out a package. There is no delivery man. Instead, I spot a man wearing a dark red and gray jacket and dark blue jeans. A black skull cap hangs loosely on his head. He walks up to my car, peeking into the interior. I'm so focused on him that I don't even notice the make of car he's driving.
I peer on as he walks to the back of my car and looks at the plates. Then he lets out a hearty laugh, one I recognize all too well and haven't heard in person in over two years.
My heart constricts in my chest and my body stirs.
It's him.
My Edward.
I'd done so much to prepare for this moment. I dedicated every waking hour to become what he desired me to be from the time he left. The pain I suffered through during my transformation no longer mattered. It was all worth it in order to get back the presence of the man that had me from the second he opened the doors I'm now standing beside. It is time to show Edward what I've done for him.
"Edward?"
My fingers cross, anticipating his approval.
When I yell his name, he turns around. The moment he does, he's stuck. The look on his face is more than enough confirmation to deem my current upgrade satisfactory.
"Oh My God, It Is you!"
Edward stands there in his Godly glory looking just as magnificent as I remembered him. He looks mature. His once clean shaven face now held stubble. The reddish brown strands peeking from the sides of his gray skull cap are shorter in length, signifying that he cut his hair. Those green eyes still captivate me as they bore into mine.
Look, Edward. Look at what I've done for you.
Now, it's time for the kicker, something he would never expect me to accomplish. I take off down the stairs and run full blast forward to him, my feet not missing a beat. His mouth drops wide at the fact that I haven't tripped and cracked my head open.
Didn't know I could do that did you, Eddie boy?
My arms envelop Edward. His chest feels much broader than it used to be. Taking a deep breath, I sniff in his clean scent and immediately want to lose myself in him. We are in the same position today as we were the day he left, only this time I'm not crying.
"Bella," is all his deep voice could muster up.
The poor man can't even form an articulate sentence; he's so taken aback by me.
I smile into his chest.
There is no way in hell he can ignore all of this anymore. He told me that if I was older and had a bigger rack then things between us could have progressed that day in his room. Well I'm both now, with a little extra thrown in to seal the deal. All I need now is for Edward to keep going the next time we're tangled up into each other.
From the twitch that I just felt in his pants, I highly doubt that that will be a problem.
Gotcha, bitch.