FAITH IN HUMANITY
ONLY HUMAN

21st February 2002:

Emma Marko awoke at midnight to the sound of someone sobbing. Such a thing hadn't happened to her since Penny had been five years old, so it was with a wary heart that she crossed the landing to her daughter's bedroom.

"Penny?" she whispered. "Sweetheart?"

No answer, just a sniffle. Emma pushed the door open and hurried to her daughter's bedside. Penny was sitting up in bed, tears dripping down her face.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I dreamt about Daddy," Penny sniffed. She wiped her nose with the corner of her blanket, something Emma had often told her off for. "He was..." She started crying again. Emma sat down next to her, nervous. Dreams about 'Daddy' could never be a good thing.

"What was it, Penny?"

"He had a gun," she sobbed.

"Really," Emma said, her heart sinking.

"He shot someone," Penny said. She stared up at her mother with desperate eyes. "Only once. That doesn't normally kill someone, does it, Mommy? Only once."

Emma sighed, and hugged her daughter tight. "No, sweetheart. Sometimes one shot won't kill you." She held her close for half a minute or so, before she finally loosened her grip. "You get some rest, Penny."

"Mommy?" Penny whispered.

"Yeah?"

"It felt like it was my fault."

Emma stared in horror, and shook her head viciously. "It wasn't! Oh, honey, how could it be?"

"Don't know," Penny said. She drew her blankets up around her. "Mommy, where is Daddy? Right now."

"I don't know, love. I never know."

"Can we call him?"

"No," Emma said. She closed her eyes for a second, and then forced them open again. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. No."

"Okay," Penny said uncertainly. "He didn't shoot anyone, right, Mommy? Not really."

Oh God, I wouldn't bet on it. "No, sweetheart. He didn't."

"Good," Penny said, although still rather uncertainly. She buried herself under the blankets. "Mommy, is it time to take my pills now?"

"No, love. Not till morning."

"Good," she said. "Tell me the go-to-sleep rhyme, Mommy."

Emma smiled, a little. She still felt faintly worried. She took her daughter's hand, and waved it from side to side as she spoke. "See a Penny, pick it up, and all day long, you'll have good luck."

"Thank you, Mommy."

Emma kissed her forehead, switched off the bedroom light, and went downstairs again. She turned on the television, watched the news for almost two hours, until she finally saw the news she dreaded. Carjacking. Gun. They hadn't caught all the people involved yet, but she knew in the back of her mind.

Eventually she just sat on the sofa, her head in her hands. And then she finally went back upstairs, and sat down next to her daughter's bed.

"You sleep," she whispered. "He did do it." She leaned against the wall, drawing her knees up to her chest. "Don't think about your daddy, sweetheart. He's half his way to being a monster, now. And he's staying far away from you. He's not capable of...caring, or anything. Not that I had much in the first place, but...I've got no faith in him, anymore."