This was bad.

This was so very, very bad.

Hermione, she told herself sternly, get it together.

And then she realised she couldn't do that because her life was over.

Forever.

Hermione paced up and down frantically, trying to think of a way to solve this now very difficult problem.

Because it posed quite a few questions that wouldn't exactly be easy to answer.

For example; what the hell are you going to do now?

No sense in getting hysterical. Try to think rationally. Calmly and rationally.

I want to calmly put my hands around Draco Malfoy's neck and squeeze it until all rational thought leaves my mind.

No, no. Not that.

Calm. Must remain calm.

Until I have finished killing Malfoy and have gotten away with it.

No, seriously, stop, this is not calm!

No-one will ever know.

Rational, rational!

What reason would I have to kill him?

Yes, yes, what reason at all? No, no need to kill him…

Nope, no motive they could ever think of.

Oh, apart from the fact that we so obviously hate each others guts.

Oh, and the revenge thing.

Oh, and the fact that he has ruined my life.

No, stop that!

She slapped herself mentally and sat down on the side of her bed.

This was definitely not working out as she had planned.

It was meant to be; badda bing, badda boom, over and done with, Malfoy humiliated, Hermione feeling better about everything and able to get on with her life.

He wasn't meant to do anything back!

Suddenly a voice floated up the stairs, sporadically interrupted by a low mumbling sound, apparently someone else trying to speak.

Well, can it float if the person is screaming furiously?

So, no, it more…bounced off the walls and echoed in her ears.

Obviously Ginny.

"Hermione!

I need to talk to Hermione!

And I don't care what you bloody well think you great snotrag!

Oh, go shove a toilet brush up your arse!

NO, get out of my way!

I will not remain calm, I will not turn around and get out, and I will not… GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!

Don't ever touch me again, you hear?

Or I will personally experiment with the theory that you cannot make an arse for a hat.

And YOU will be the subject.

You'd better get out of the way!

Seriously, you know how that arse hat screws with your hair!"

"...worried?" she heard Malfoy say disjointedly, as he was being much quieter.

"Oh, sod off Malfoy!

Don't make me hit you again!

These school shoes can kill if thrown at your temple, and I'm not a bloody bad shot, especially when I'm as pissed off as I am.
SO, GET OUT OF MY WAY!

THANKYOU!

For the love of…"

Her voice had grown steadily louder as she proceeded up the stairs, being followed by Malfoy, who was, typically, trying to wind her up.

And typically, it was working very well.

Ginny stomped into the room, a very sour look on her face.

Hermione caught a glimpse of Malfoy, grinning widely and obviously enjoying the scene, before Ginny slammed the door in his face and she heard a loud squeal of pain.

"My nose! My beautiful, perfectly straight, lovely, gorgeous nose! Oh, Merlin, why do you taunt me so?!"

Hermione started laughing, but stopped at the look on Ginny's face.

"Come to yell at me?" she asked, lying down on the bed so that she was facing away from her friend.

She heard Ginny sigh and felt herself dip sideways ever so slightly as Ginny sat down.

Hermione found herself desperately hoping that she wasn't still angry.

"No. I just want to know…Merlin, Hermione… WHY?"

"Oh for the love of…"

Hermione sat up quickly, startling Ginny, who ended up sprawled on the floor.

Hermione ignored the glare Ginny was sending her and gave as good a glare as she got.

Ginny lowered her eyes at length, and sat on the edge of the bed, twisting her hands in her lap.

Hermione's voice just seemed to get louder.

"Honestly Ginny, I thought you of all people might actually think! How could you actually believe that I would feel something, let alone do anything for that jerk? I thought you might see past thebullshit, but really!"

She ignored the small gasp Ginny gave when she cursed, and shook her head, looking away in frustration.

Ginny shuffled closer to Hermione on the bed and tentatively put a hand on her shoulder.

"I just thought…"

"Yeah? Well, you thought wrong." Hermione bit back, shrugging Ginny's hand away.

Ginny looked hurt and Hermione moaned, putting her head in her hands.

"This is exactly what he wants." She mumbled, looking up.

Ginny looked confused.

"What who wants? What does he want?"

"Malfoy." Said Hermione, scrunching up her nose as though a bad smell had entered the room when she had said his name.

"Oh. What does he want?"

"For us to get into a fight. Honestly, it's just like him. See, he doesn't just like to humiliate me, he likes to make sure I don't have any friends either!"

She laughed sardonically, and glanced at Ginny, who was looking mystified.

"Oh, you can't be serious! You still don't get it do you?"

Ginny shook her head, looking apologetic.

"Ok, look. This has all been because of the revenge, see? I get my revenge on him, I get more revenge on him, and then…he gets revenge on me. Which wasn't meant to happen, let me tell you. It just wasn't mean to happen…"

Hermione sighed and lay back on the bed, her hands behind her head.

Ginny lay down next to her and let out a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry Hermione…can you explain it all to me please? I still don't get it exactly…I mean, what about the message? I don't really see how it all ties in with him getting revenge because there isn't much he could have done and oh Merlin I can't believe it took me so long to get it! Wow, I really can be quite slow, eh?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned so that she was facing Ginny.

"Yup…Honestly, I never could believe you were related to Ron, but now I can see it. Ron's really thick when it comes to…" She sighed despite herself.

"…well, anything involving a brain. And you are really rather dense when it comes to…er…"

She winced apologetically.

"..Well, a lot of things. To do with emotions and…Really, just tell me to stop talking! I did not need to continue that train of thought."

Ginny shrugged it off and continued as though their conversation had not been interrupted by explanations and insults.

"Okay Hermione, what we need to do is get revenge on him now."

"But Gin, that's just illogical. Honestly, if I keep this up, we'll be revenging ourselves until we're ancient! If I start this, it'll become, just…this massive thing, and you know how stubborn I am, and, well, I know how stubborn Malfoy is."

She stopped talking suddenly and exclaimed, "Seriously, he's as stubborn as a donkey!"

Ginny laughed. "More like stubborn as an ass!"

"Uh, Gin, a donkey is an ass." Hermione replied, looking worried.

"Quiet you. And I knew that. But ass sounds funnier."

"Uh. Huh." She stopped herself from raising both eyebrows and continued.

"Well. It doesn't matter, because either way, he's as stubborn as I am."

Ginny raised an eyebrow and Hermione shook her head, wrinkling her nose.

"Anyway, I don't know…I feel as though I shouldn't really, because…well, none of it has actually worked yet, has it? Ron and Harry are mad at me, I bet no-one will believe me when I tell them that Malfoy was the one who wrote the message, even though an idiot could work out that I would never…ugh."

She shuddered at the thought and Ginny patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Well, personally, I think you will enjoy it. And, trust me, I'm never wrong."

"Oh?" Hermione raised an eyebrow and said derisively, "This coming from the girl who took two straight hours trying to convince Harry that she only had five brothers, before he had to write down the names…"

"Oh, shut up! Ancient history!"

Hermione muttered something impertinent which Ginny chose to ignore.

"You just think about it. I reckon it'll help."

Hermione sighed.

"Thanks Gin. It didn't help much, but, whatever. To be honest, I would get revenge on him if I thought it might help, but I don't think it will."

Ginny rolled her eyes and they lapsed into a comfortable silence which was broken a few minutes later by an unfamiliar voice.

"Would you two start kissing already!?"

Hermione and Ginny sat bolt upright as the frustrated voice came from the other side of the wall.

"Or, I dunno, at least have a sweaty pillow fight in your little silk nighties or something!"

Another voice, lower than the first, interrupted, an angry lilt to it.

Hermione ran over to the door and wrenched it open, finding herself face-to-face with none other than Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini.

Her face twisted furiously at the insolent looks they were both giving her.

She knew Malfoy's voice, and knew it hadn't been him who had spoken first, logically, this left Blaise.

For some reason this made her even angrier.

Illogical, really.

"Were you listening to us?!" she shrieked, her eyes only on Malfoy, although this was, again, illogical.

Blaise stepped backwards, looking slightly alarmed, but Malfoy stayed where he was, his face unruffled.

"Yup." He said coolly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his robes and leaning nonchalantly against the wall.

Hermione felt rage bubbling underneath the surface of her skin and wondered when it would explode.

He smirked at her furious expression and she glared.

Right! She thought, and reached out to slap him, but he bought a hand up swiftly and quickly seized her wrist.

She struggled against his grip, but his fingers were immovable.

"Uh uh. Such a temper."

He leaned towards her and she shrank back instinctively.

"Now. Where were we? My excuse? Ah, yes. Why were we listening to you? Spying on the enemy, as someone once so beautifully put it. Other excuses needed? Well now, do you honestly think I look like someone who cares?"

He smirked and Hermione's fingers twitched, wondering if he would notice her hand in her pocket before she could reach her wand.

He saw the movement however, and grasped her other hand tightly, holding her fingers in a bone crunching grip.

She glared at him and managed to spit through gritted teeth, "let go of me, you disgusting animal."

He narrowed his eyes at her but his grip on her hands did not loosen.

If anything, it tightened.

"Now Granger, is that any way to behave? You should know by now, dear, that to speak to those above you in that manner would be…disastrous. Don't do anything you might regret."

Hermione seethed under his gaze and spat, "The only thing I regret is not having my hands free, so that I can inflict some serious damage upon you."

Malfoy laughed derisively and she snapped.

Without thinking about the consequences, she swiftly bought her knee up into his groin, leaving him to gasp in pain as he released her hands abruptly.

She spun quickly on her heel, and walked back into her room, slamming it behind her.