A/N: Wow, three months. Really? I am so sorry. School, sorority, my internship and my second job completely consumed me. I'm a terrible, unfaithful writer. Please don't break up with me. :) Also, to squash any potential misconceptions: I have zero problem with slash pairings or homosexual couplings (In fact, I am very supportive of that right). The girls are simply in shock and disbelief, typical human reactions to things we aren't familiar with. Don't look into this as a means of pushing a certain agenda or a belief system on you. It's merely an entertaining story :)

Chapter 4: Aether Unsheathed

The second hand on Samus' wall clock ticked ominously, each passing moment a resounding boom across the otherwise deathly mute room.

The three women stared at the computer, eyes wide and mouths agape.

After an excruciatingly long silence, Samus leaned back and exhaled like she had been holding her breath for a very long time.

"Wow."

"What did we just read?!" Peach whispered.

Zelda backtracked to the middle of the story.

"I think it's pretty clear," she said.

"''I cannot thank you enough for your assistance here,' said Marth, nudging the body of the last of Medeus' minions. 'On behalf of my kingdom, you have our eternal gratitude.'

Ike nodded solemnly but couldn't help staring as the prince removed his tunic to tend to his wounds. The prince had a slender and well-defined torso, evidence of his youth and athleticism. He couldn't explain the fire that burned within him when he studied Marth's sweat-beaded face and intense blue eyes.

'Would you like help dressing those?' Ike said suddenly, indicating the various minor gashes across Marth's midsection and arms.'"

Zelda closed her eyes and turned away from the computer, "We all know where it goes from there."

"Yes," said Samus, looking over the princess' shoulder and at the screen. "Clearly, the act of bandaging Marth's battle wounds leads to an 'embrace in the throes of passion, years of pent-up desire finally unleashed. Prince and warrior become one.' Of course, in retrospect, I suppose the homoerotic subtext was implied all along with the mushy writing and the incredible detail the author goes into concerning the men's body type, facial features, and yearning emotions. We should have seen it coming with the desperate looks they kept throwing each other and all of the 'blade' references."

She laughed, but the humor fell dead on the princesses, who both looked concerned. Zelda turned back to the computer and quickly clicked back to the main page, as if to eradicate the memory of the story. Another awkward silence filled the room.

"Do you...do you suppose this could be true?" Peach said quietly.

"Oh, come on, Peach," said Samus, rolling her eyes. "It's just a fan-fabricated story. Take it for what it is."

"I don't know, Sam," Zelda said. "There are a LOT of 'IkexMarth' pairings on this site, now that I am looking harder. They wouldn't be this popular if the idea didn't have some root in truth..."

"This is absurd!" Samus exclaimed. "We didn't think anything of the other stories with Peach and Captain Falcon or Kirby and Jigglypuff! You two are overreacting."

"It doesn't hurt to find out," Peach said, then beamed in excitement. "We could do some undercover research!"

"Let's see what other couples are popular," Zelda said. "This could be the start of quite an investigation!"

"You two are off your rockers," Samus mumbled, but couldn't help being intrigued at the prospect of a secret mission. She also remembered how eager Ike was to claim Marth on the day of their match.

After a few hours, the trio had compiled a list of the popular pairings found in FanFiction-dom. Their goal was to tackle one at a time, trying to secretly and stealthily gather enough evidence to declare the pairing fact or fiction.

"Who should we go for first?" Samus asked.

"Well, MetaKnight has a match against me tomorrow," said Peach. "I can try to corner him afterwards. Meanwhile, you and Zelda can sit next to Jigglypuff during the fight and see if you can get anything from her."

"This seems so wrong, but it feels so, so right!" Zelda squealed.

"Quit quoting 'Aether Unleashed,'" Samus muttered.