"Dad you look like the walking dead let me drive so you can sleep on the way home"
"Bells your only 16 I will drive us home it's not that long of a drive I can survive" he said unintentionally rhyming his words
"Dad I have my permit, I can drive, and you're in the car" I pleaded with him
"No end of discussion Bells" he snapped
"Fine" I huffed I couldn't really hold it against him he has been letting me drive every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday practicing my skills.
Halfway home I started to doze off. I didn't think I was this tired but apparently spending the whole day with Jake tired me out. At least Alice wasn't dragging me around a mall making me try on 20 million different outfits.
A couple minutes into my sleep I felt my head hit up against the window. What the hell
"Dad" I groaned his name only to realize that the bright light shining in my eyes were not a good thing Oh My God
"Dad, Dad wake up" I screamed to him he jumped and jerked the wheel I braced myself for impact this was going to hurt. Charlie predicted the path of the car and jerked his wheel a hard right we were barreling at 65mph towards a tree.
I woke up in a daze to darkness, the smell of rust and salt, and the smell of gasoline this is not good. I turned my head from side to side I noticed Charlie was not responding
"Dad" I grumbled out my voice felt really scratchy. I was started to be overwhelmed by the smell of blood god I hate blood. To keep myself from passing out I started breathing through my mouth and out through my nose. Breath in Breath out calm yourself Bella
"Bella" I heard Charlie say
"Dad are you okay? Stay with me Dad"
"I think we've been in an accident Dad I need to get help." I said feeling my tears starting to build up.
"I'm sorry Bells I should've listened to you."
"It's okay Dad really I need you to stay with me" I said pleading with god to keep my Dad alive
"I love ya Bells" Charlie said the end of his sentence fading out
"Dad DAD" I started sobbing
"EDWARD help me EDWARD" I started screaming
"Bella"
"Bella" said the soothing voice of an angel
"Bella" he said once again and I was snapped out of my terrible dream
"Edward it was so terrible I remember everything" I said sobbing into his shirt
"It's okay love" Edward said wrapping his arms around me making me feel better in an instant
"I told him Edward, I told him that I would drive so he could sleep on the way home" crying harder than ever clinging onto his shirt for dear life I was drowning and I felt like I couldn't be saved
"He wouldn't listen he called me silly Edward he said he could make it" still crying Edward was running his fingers through my hair and kissing my head trying to sooth me and make me feel better
"I told him that he looked like the walking dead and that I could drive I had a permit and he was in the car but he wouldn't listen to me" sobbing and crying I probably looked like a blubbering idiot but Edward didn't seem to care he kept whispering soothing words telling me that everything would be alright
" I remember falling asleep in the car and then all the loud noises and my head hitting the window" I said cringing as I relived the pain of my head cracking off the window of the cruiser he seemed to feel my cringing and tightened his grip on me
"I yelled at Charlie to wake up but it was just too fast and then the tree all the pain I could smell the blood it was rusty and salty and I just wanted to be sick" I said
"I tried to get help there really fast Charlie was dying and I couldn't do anything" I said which started a new round of tears
"He said he loved me I told him to hold on and that I loved him too I tried to get him to wake up but he wouldn't"
"Bella you did everything that you could in that moment" Edward said in a firm tone
"This is not your fault Bella love" he said hugging me tighter willing me to believe him
"But I feel like it is why did I get to live when he had to die" I said quieting my sobs to a low whimpering into his soaked shirt
"I miss him so much Edward so much that it hurts" I said looking into his honey colored eyes
"Bella everything happens for a reason and I like to think that this brought us together I mean you lost Charlie but you gained me the love of your life and I like to think of myself like that and you're the love of my life" he said kissing the top of my head and moving his way down to kiss my tear stained lips
"Mmmmm taste like Bella" he said chuckling at his use of words I turned my lips up into a soft small smile
"Are you okay love?" Edward asked after our kiss was finished no matter how short lived it was his worry always shone through in everything he did I was like a breakable china doll to him
"Yes Edward I will be okay thanks to you the love of my life" he smiled his all famous crooked smile and kissed me over and over again
"I've heard you say that you love me but hearing you say that I'm the love of your life just makes my eternity seem that much better" smiling even wider I hugged him closer to my body and started running my hand through his bronze locks enjoying the feel of his silky smooth hair he laid his head right on my heart and sighed in contentment
"Your heartbeat keeps me here I love it and could probably tell your heart beat out of everybody it soothes me" he said tenderly as he stroked my arm in tiny circles
"Well I'm glad I could do that for you really its not hard work" I said he started laughing at my attempted humor
"Funny" he said
"I thought it was" I said pouting he didn't like my attempt at humor I bit my lip trying to convey that he hurt my feelings but the only thing he did was take my bottom lip into his mouth sucking gently on it
"mmmm" I moaned writhing against him deepening our kiss further I licked his lips and in turn causing him to groan into my mouth it turned me on so much I felt the wetness pool in between my legs I was so wet and sexually frustrated I was a virgin for fuck sake but I could still be frustrated getting close to the brink only to be denied because he wanted to stay in control I whimpered at the thought of going another night feeling like this I was the one in control now and I had to stop this because otherwise he was going too
"Stop" I said with all that I had I didn't want to stop but why let him know that
"What did I hurt you oh my god Bella are you okay I'm so sorry" he said rushing out all of his words apologizing for pretty much nothing
"No you didn't hurt me" I said frustrated with him why does he always think he's doing something wrong
"What's wrong love" he said genuinely concerned for my well being but if that was the case he would shut up and do me already
"You that's what's wrong Edward YOU, always have to be in control never testing me not doing what I want, I want you Edward that's what I want all of you, no pieces or parts being held back" I said angry tears rolling down my face yelling near the end of my tirade
"That's not fair Bella you know that I want to too" he spat out at me raising his voice slightly
"Do I?" I spat back at him mad at him for denying me rejecting me
"Bella I want you so badly why don't you understand that?" he said lowering his voice begging for me to believe him to believe what he was saying to me
"Well let's see every time we get close to anything remotely resembling sex you back off and run away to go hunting because you 'think you're going to lose your control I know you Edward and I don't think you would lose control with me" I said yelling at him again and the other vampires in the house could probably hear my rant
"Bella" he said warningly
"Don't Bella me Edward I know your scared shitless and so am I but at least I'm willing to attempt it because I love you and want to be with you, you won't even consider trying" I said tears still rolling down my face my defeated posture made its way towards the door
"Bella where are you going in the middle of the night"
"Alice she'll understand maybe in that time you can think through all your stupid control issues that you think you have" I said still angry and upset with him I looked up at him before I closed our bedroom door he looked so broken unresolved issues floating past his eyes I wanted to go back to him and tell him that everything would be okay but maybe just maybe If I took charge he would come to his senses and realize that he can do this with me maybe he just doesn't want me like I want him I just didn't know anymore I want Edward so badly all of him he is always holding back the one part that I want. I just want him to share himself with me and vise a versa I would be sharing myself entirely to him I would do that for Edward why would he do that for me
"Bella" the sound of Alice's voice cut through my foggy mind in the time I had been thinking I had made my way to Alice's room I reached up and hugged her she had her own scent sweet very sweet just like her
"It's going to be okay Bella" she said leading me to her bed and sitting down with me keeping me in her embrace and letting go as I asked her questions about my future and Edward
"How do you know that Alice what if he doesn't want me like I want him" It was too far past me to be embarrassed right now I just needed a girl and Alice was the one
"Bella you forget I see the future and I see you guys it will happen believe me Bella and you'll be just like us too"
"What you mean I'm going to be a vampire like you guys" I said becoming a little happier then I would be Edwards equal
Alice got the blank expression on her face that always says "I'm having a vision" look so I knew she was having a vision
"NO" I heard it thunderously roared from the direction of Edward's room apparently Alice hadn't told Edward that I would be a vampire and he didn't like that very much I then heard a bunch of crashing and then complete silence
"Damnit Edward now I have to get you new furniture" Alice said but I had a feeling Edward couldn't hear her he was long gone hunting or something to cool his attitude down a bit.
"Am I that bad that Edward doesn't want to be with me to be a vampire like him" I said as new tears formed and started rolling down my face apparently I was so horrible he didn't want me to be like him to be his equal
"Bella can you stay here in my room for the night I need to go pound some sense into Edwards thick skull okay"
"Yea that's fine you can do more physical damage than I can" I said laughing at the thought of me actually hurting Edward
"Alice I know he's been a real jerk but for me can you go easy on him" I asked a sad smile plastered on my face
"Yea Bella I'll try, that's all I can promise you" she said the same sad smile plastered on my face was now plastered on hers too
"WE will be back in the morning so try and sleep you're going to need it for tomorrow night" she said emphasizing the WE in the whole thing
"Wait tomorrow night what's then?" I asked
"You're going to seduce Edward silly I thought you would remember that" like it was the most obvious thing in the world
"No no no no no Alice I can't do that after today" I said panicking at how close it was
"Bella you can and you will I have trust in you and I definitely have the trust in Edward that you can pull this off remember I can see the future." She said tapping her fingers on her temples I decided right then and there I would do it because I wanted it so badly and maybe that sounded selfish but I didn't care because I needed Edward I just hoped he needed me just as much
"Okay Alice shoo I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to pull this off" I said laughing I could do this I had to be confident enough in myself to pull it off
"Bella you don't need beauty sleep your beautiful enough as it is" Alice said with sincerity in her words I just smiled at her and then I rolled my eyes at her laying my head down on her pillow I yawned Alice took the covers and put them over me I drifted into a dreamless state hoping that Edward would just come to his senses