Yay! The second chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or 101 Tips On Getting Girls (if that book even exists.)

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"Okay, let's read the first chapter." Naruto said, opening the book to a bookmarked page. The chapter title read,' 1: The Female's Minds.'

"'Not every male knows how the female's mind works. To better understand the way of the women, it is important to remember this golden rule: NEVER, under any circumstances, tell her that she is wrong. Women like to think that they are correct in all situations, and will do anything to prove males wrong.'" Naruto looked up at Sasuke, and smirked.

"Guess this means you can't challenge Sakura anymore, teme." Sasuke's reply was to death glare at Naruto. It wasn't his fault that he had bad luck with women! The fact that the only girl he actually had conversations with was his mom didn't prove anything! It was all Itachi's fault! Damn you, Itachi!!!

While mentally cursing Itachi to the deepest layer of hell, Sasuke curtly nodded at Naruto to keep reading.

"Okay, where was I…Here it is! 'If you are ever in a position like this, then simply soothe the female, and admit that you are wrong. This will calm her down, but also confuse her a bit as to why you suddenly proclaimed her right. So, to distract her, merely ask her out on a date, or pull out red roses to declare your love for her." Naruto snorted,"' Declare your love for her?' What self-respecting man does that?" (A/N: Ah, Naruto, Naruto. You still have so much to learn about love.)

"Troublesome, but if that makes a woman quiet down, I just might try that." Shikamaru muttered, still staring up at the sky. He sighed, and thought,' Not much clouds today…'

"Good, because Ino talks waaaaay too much." Naruto nodded, and turned to Neji.

"So are you gonna try this on Tenten?"

"Hn. Tenten doesn't talk that much. At least, not as much as that Yamanaka." he said, still in his meditating position. Ever since Naruto had arrived with the accursed book, he had felt a major headache coming on.

"Okay, then let's read the next chapter!" Naruto flipped the pages, stopping when he saw the large title,' 2: How to Charm a Female.'

"' Women love compliments. They love it when you compliment their looks, their outfits, their skills, anything! Whenever you meet up with a female, and she looks at you expectantly, always tell her that her outfit looks good on her. Praise everything that she is uncertain about, and this will put you in her good books for sure.'" Neji had a thoughtful look on his face.

"I could use that one. Tenten's always saying how no boys will ever like her." Naruto grinned, and said," Great! Now only me and teme have to find some tips." He flipped to the next chapter.

"' Chapter 3: How to Impress a Female. This chapter talks to you about any methods you could use to amaze your love interest. Find something that astounds her, and attempt to do that something even better. This will make an impression on the female and possible get her even more attracted to you than before." Naruto thought for a minute before exclaiming," Hey, I can impress Hinata with all of my cool fighting moves! That will get her to like me even more!" Neji glowered at Naruto, threatening," Don't do anything that you will regret later." Naruto grinned mockingly, and looked at Sasuke.

"Yo, teme, you don't have anything yet, do you?"

"I will when you start reading that book again, dobe." Sasuke scowled.

"Okay, okay, no need to get your knickers in a knot." Naruto snickered, and dodged the fist that was aimed for his face. He turned over the pages, looking for the next chapter.

"' Chapter 4: How to Gain a Female's Favor. In this section, you will learn tips on how to achieve a female's favor. By doing errands for her, she will gradually start to depend on you, so you must always be there to assist her." Naruto closed the book, and said," Well, I think we all know what Sasuke has to do to gain Sakura's favor." He laughed, trying to imagine the Uchiha running around, doing Sakura's work for her, while the pink-haired medic-nin relaxed on a chair, sipping a cold drink. He couldn't. Well, he could see Sakura lounging around, chilling while she ordered Sasuke around, but Naruto couldn't really imagine the duck-haired bastard doing her bidding.

"Okay, so now that we all have our own methods, we'll try them out tomorrow, then meet the day after that to hear the results." Naruto planned a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hn."

"Troublesome…"

"Who the hell made you boss, dobe?"

"I'm the one who brought the book, so stop whining, teme!"

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L.M.H: I somehow feel like I'm betraying my fellow female friends by giving these guys the tips... T_T

Remember, if you have any pickup lines, lame or not, I can use, please tell me! ^-^