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I didn't need to ask what I had become because there it was before me

I didn't need to ask what I had become, because there it was before me. I could scarcely remember the gentle prods of the immortal beside me but I knew what he was. And the woman…she haunted me. If I had not known before…before this happened, I would have been terrified.

There was no point in even saying it aloud to myself. I knew what I was and didn't need to say it. And they would know I knew and we would carry on. But yet I felt as if I didn't belong.

Rummaging through the piles of papers I had found the document. As to what I was for, that was uncertain. But as to what I was to become, that was clear. I had skimmed through the first part of the page.

Name: Lilly Kennedy Vespa

Age: 19

DOB: 10/13/84

Sector: 7 Building: D

ID: 21139

I didn't want to read about my odd allergies that pertained to the sun and various heat radiations. I flipped through my file, listening intently for the sounds of footsteps. I came to a page that held notes about me. It was written in a hand much unlike anything I had ever seen, something that would have been from another century.

Notes: Under the protection of the Volterra. Strength unparalleled. Has had a lengthy case of depression and catatonia. Family traits: Eyes turn purple with time. Hair color of bark. Skin that of ivory. Position with family has been hereby severed as of 1/29/00 due to the command of her withdrawal. Has been placed in Sector 7 for physical reasons.

The footsteps came then.

I shoved the thoughts from my mind so I could sit up without collapsing again. I couldn't think about what had happened back there…back in Seattle. The only important thing was to thank them and leave them…whoever they were.

My vision became clear again as I let myself down from the table. Standing was a strenuous task but I was able to move my legs without impossibility. The blood on my shirt was disgusting to look at and I was quite positive I had been in my clothes for a few days. What I needed was a shower.

The room was empty from what I could tell and smelled faintly of wood polish. I glanced about but could not find one speck of dust. I even slid my finger down the table and held it up in the light. Nothing. I snorted to myself in agitation. I then noticed how hungry I was. If that was what they called it.

That was when I also noticed the figure watching me in the back of the room. The black haired goddess that haunted me. Someone had called her by her name earlier…Alice was it?

"I'm glad you're conscious." The haunting angel flitted over to me with a smile splashed on her lips. "We were getting worried." She enveloped me in a hug and to my surprise I accepted it. I hugged her back because I needed that hug more than anyone could possibly realize.

"Alice." It was a statement of recognition, not a question.

She appeared to relax a little. "It's good to hear you speaking normally, and not in a scream."

I blushed. Or at least I think I did. "Sorry."

"Please don't. We've all been there." There was a pause. "Come. Everyone is going to want to see that you are with us now."

She took my arm and together we walked out into the hallway and onward to what appeared to be the living room. There was a widescreen TV that looked as if it had never been used, along with a stereo that was playing classical music. But in this room were people who had saved me, and as I looked to each one of them I found peace. They were all welcoming, inviting. Except for one beautiful blonde who eyed me, probably thinking me an intruder. But at this sighting, I didn't want to leave. It was an unexplainable attachment that I felt always existed. I had always, somehow, known about this world and I knew that I belonged here, with them. I received a hesitant hug from one named Emmet who, to me, seemed like a giant bear. From the one named Jasper I received nothing. He eyed the blood on my shirt with an irrevocable intoxication. All he could do was stare at it. Alice comforted him with her eyes and for some reason I knew it was because the blood on my shirt was from my human life. Like…like he had one drink to many and couldn't dare to be around another because it would unlock something forbidden.

From Esme came a kiss on the cheek, and the same from the blonde model of an antique painting, Carlisle. Rosalie gave me a curt nod as was to be expected. And from the one named Edward I received a scan of the eyes. He was studying me, making me a bit uncomfortable but at last he hugged me. An unearthly silence settled in for a moment until Alice jumped in.

"I believe Rosalie and I shall get her cleaned up before we go on our hunting trip."

"We're going to need a lot more than just soap." Rosalie grumbled as she glowered at me.

I bit my lip in a human way as they led me up the stairs and into a grand bathroom that I believed to be larger than my parent's bedroom. Into a shower I went and came out fresh. They had handed me soaps and lotions to get myself cleansed.

Alice smiled at me, and behind Rosalie's indifferent demeanor I knew she wanted me there for some inconclusive reason. Alice gave me one of her shirts that were form fitting much to my distaste, but I took it out of respect. She handed me pants and shoes. We were exactly the same size in everything. We even looked the same. Or was that me just flattering myself? I wasn't even remotely like her. I didn't even qualify for comparison to Rosalie. Her beauty was strength I would never posses. I thanked Alice for the clothes. Rosalie flipped her blonde hair in a sigh. I thanked her as well.

"There is not point in thanking us. How else would we get you out of those ridiculous clothes if you didn't have anything else to wear?" Flick of the hair.

My eyebrow rose. She certainly was a cold one but then again, weren't we all cold?

The hunger came at me again like an infectious disease. This time it made me wince and pulled a gasp from my lungs.

"Just a little longer, Lilly." Alice comforted me, patting my arm.

Down the stairs, out the door, and into a jeep we crammed. Rosalie and Emmet were conversing on an upcoming wedding they were planning—for themselves. Alice and Jasper were arguing over something indecisive. Edward and I were silent except for the distant hum of the car.

"Lilly Cullen." I whispered on my lips, trying out the speed at which I could say it. Emmet had made it so easy when he was arguing over what type of flower he wanted that I fancied a try of it myself. Edward looked at me with his gold flecked eyes. I stared back.

The jeep skidded to a halt and out I went with the people who had adopted me. Esme took my hand, leading me away from the others. "Each of them has their own preferences, but you and I shall hunt together."

I felt safe with her. In a cloudless dream it was. Further into the woods, which had suddenly come to my attention, we traveled. How had we gotten here? I mean, there were woods surrounding the white house but it had only taken ten minutes, if that.

"Any questions?" Esme's voice was a crisp bell of a beacon for me to follow.

"Yes. I have plenty of them."

"Good! Let's hear it." She smiled brightly at the prospects of me asking her questions like a child. Was it that? Was it she found me to be a child? I guessed in some aspects I was.

I took a breath and looked at her from under my lashes. "How did we come about? Are we truly…sons and daughters of the devil?"

She seemed indifferent as Rosalie had been only half an hour before. But upon her lips she bore a smirk. "Edward asked me the same question years ago. The best answer I can give is what I gave him. What do you think we are? You are young and new to this world, but I have a feeling you've dwelled on this before."

I nodded, the memories coming back. I would not allow them to take control or I would slip into a silence. I had to answer her question…but how? That was the difficult part. What were we, really? Had we been some evil demon that possessed a body? Or had we come from the punishment of God himself? I was almost certain there was a God. Or, if there wasn't, I had to at least believe to save myself from damning myself even further. "I'm not quite sure." I finally answered. She nodded once in understanding. The answer had pleased her and seemed to bring me more respect in her eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but I couldn't ask any more questions.

"Ask me." It was an order. "You will never have another time like the present to learn."

"How did you all—"

"Not that question. They will tell you in due time, but I cannot."

I hadn't even known that she would know I would ask how she came to be but I was assuming things way too quickly to be natural. "Okay…" I blinked to clear my head of those damned memories of my own mother and continued onward. "Is there anything important I should know?"

She smirked at me and took my arm. "Our whole lives are important. For instance, the reason why we live in such a dark and suicidal place is because our skin is quite sensitive to light. We are prisms to the human eye if touched by it." She paused. "We can't cry either, which is quite upsetting because I'm sure we all could use a good sob." Down a hill we ventured until we came to a small clearing. I wondered if she had done this with all her children but then again I was close to assuming. "We never sleep and if we could I am sure none of us would complain."

No sleep. No tears. No sun. Life was depressing. "What do we feed on? Surely not humans, though it sounds enticingly splendid at the moment." Had I really said that?

"I'm sure it does. Usually fledglings are a bit rushed in their feeding process and need as much blood as they can get within their first few hours but you are different."

"Is it because of my strength?"

Esme paused, her back facing me, and her arms at her sides. "I suppose it is."

"Then what do we feed on?"

"Animals."

"That would explain the woods." I mumbled.

"Precisely." She turned to me, another warm smile on her face. I thought of my mother, and how kind she had once been before her surgery. The kindness that she had was located inside her heart that had been taken from her. In its place was a cold woman who rarely spoke to me and hated me for what I was. A disappointment.

I must have recoiled from her because she had stepped closer to me and swept me into a hug only a real mother could give. "You are one of us now. They cannot hurt you…"

I held her tighter. If only she knew…if only she knew…

A rustling sound came to my left, my head snapping to the source of the noise with such a ferociousness that could snap a neck. Esme urged me on, letting me use my carnal instincts. I allowed my steps to be light as feathers, to be as swift as a ball, feigning my ears for any sudden movements. I caught the animal, to my surprise a mountain lion, and wrestled it to the ground. I couldn't do this! And yet there I was, holding it down without using any strength at all and tearing into its neck. The growls that tore from it grew fainter with each gulp of my suck. I was such a beast. A monster. Was this what we did to humans, ripping open the flesh (of course there was no fur on a human with a few exceptions to the men) to drink from their fountains of blood? This was murder. This was morbid.

This was unlike any other pleasure of the flesh.

I blushed to myself, wondering again if I could, and drained the animal. Esme tapped me up just before the heart gave out; it's pounding ceasing in my ear.

"Is this what I am to do for the rest of my existence?" I whispered in disbelief.

Her face had molded into a serene sadness that she only seemed to exuberate from her natural beauty. She leaned down next to me caring not for her dress that would be dirtied by the mulch. "I'm sorry that you weren't given the choice. We all understand it's not the easiest thing to get used to. But you have us."

"Why? Why did you save me? Why didn't you leave me out to die or to learn for myself? I don't belong with you…I have never really belonged."

She shushed me and drew me into a sitting position. "We saved you because Alice saw you in her visions. You are more significant that you realize, but more about that when the time comes. Just know," she had taken my hand and pressed it firmly in hers, "that you were wanted by Alice and by this family. We had decided it before making the venture out to Seattle to retrieve you. And beside the point, Carlisle is quite curious as to why Aro wants you so badly."

The name sent a ring in my ears and a shiver down my spine. Aro. I could not connect the reason for why it sent me a vibrant shiver, but there was something about the name that could not go unnoticed.

I snapped back to the present. "But why?"

She shook her head with motherly patience. "You still do not see. You were a missing link that we needed to fill. Not just for our own selfish reasons, but because Edward needs you."

"Edward?" Oh yes, the bronze haired man of a woman's dream. "He has brothers and sisters and doesn't need me."

"Brothers and sisters who are married and cannot be separated. He is lonely…in desperate need of a friend. School brings little satisfaction for him and the people…it doesn't help that he can read their minds."

I soaked this in and let it simmer in my mind. There were no real valid reasons for wanting me and yet they did. So be it. I would allow myself this happiness. "What are your reasons?"

Her smile was sad, a lost hope that could never be retrieved. "You remind me of a child I once knew." I was going to ask her more, but she silenced me from speaking. "Come, you need more as you are young."

Together we walked further finding a peaceful solace in our walk. "What are Alice's reasons?"

She hesitated, listening for things I could not hear. Minutes dragged. Was there some secret meaning to why Alice wanted me? At last she answered. "She wants a sister who is kind."

She had been listening for Rosalie's footsteps to make sure that what she said could not be heard by her daughter. "Jasper's?"

"Whatever Alice wants, he wants."

I was satisfied at this. After a lengthy time of feeding and much to my overwhelmed dismay of it, we headed back to the jeep. Everyone had already assembled and was speaking to one another, their words carried away on the winds. Into the circle I joined them and for a while we talked.

"You all attend school?" I had asked when they were deciding whether or not to bring me to their high school.

"And you will too. They all just entered Forks High School and it's not too late to enroll you as well." Esme gave a flawless smile.

"It is something to do rather than be inside." Emmet said, his eyes never leaving the passing forest outside.

"But how can you—"

"With great difficulty." Jasper had replied then with a look of strain on his handsome face. It must have been a great deal of pain for him to walk around, mingling with all of those beating hearts. I supposed I would never have to know because I would never feed on them. But…what would that be like? Observing but not tasting. Alice's hand was on my shoulder. "You shall be fine."

I wondered if she had seen anything about my future but I couldn't ask as we all piled into the jeep and they struck up a different conversation. "We're close to the border, Carlisle." Emmet's voice was a bit on the worried side.

"Border?"

Edward turned to me, his expression in befuddlement until it smoothed out into a crisp mask of explanation. "The Quileute's set a few rules for us a while ago. We aren't allowed to bite a human and we must stay off of their land."

"What would they do to us?"

His crooked smirk appeared and I wondered how no one could deny him anything. The moment I thought that, the crooked smile deepened. "They turn into werewolves."

I was not in the least surprised. Vampires needed an enemy other than themselves. Mortal Enemies. "That's not too hard to believe."

"Simple rules, really, if you don't have a problem with hunting animals."

The way he said "hunting" sent chills through me. "Do our kind," I paused finding the idiocy in my question instantly, "hunt?" Of course we hunted. It was plain for any mortal to think of, so why wouldn't we?

He nodded. "We can track quite easily…as long as we have the scent memorized."

"Or, if you're an odd one like Edward, you can just read their thoughts." Alice laughed to herself.

"Or, if you have the freak potential of seeing the future, you can find out where they're hiding." Edward bit back, holding his laugh in.

Alice scowled but her face brightened. "I can't predict the future when I want to. It comes and goes…unlike you who can read without thinking about it." They glared at each other before Alice turned back around and whispered to Jasper about something that I blocked out. I had been laughing at Edward, finding Alice to be quite amusing. Edward shot me a look of playful banter.

I snuggled down into the seat and quieted my laughter. "Sorry."