Disclaimer: Naruto is not owned by me
A/N:
Teardrops from the sky, a hand reaches out from the dark, and I FOLLOW.
Mayo-Chin presents:
Clock Work Mirrors
Chapter Two: The Greatest Fear.
It takes a total of 24 steps from the classroom door to your desk and 26 to reach mine. The scratches and stubs of the chalk fade into the back of my mind in the classrooms, you are not here, and there is no point in trying anymore. The ticking of the clock only reminds me of the time lost with you. The time I can never get back. Are you waiting for me? Are you somewhere close, wanting time to go back? There is no point in looking forward, never a reason to look at the chalkboard. If I do, I see only the girl, the one that is you, the angel that came back and is waiting for me. The girl turns around and catches my eye. Her gaze is sad, understanding but never pity. She is you, waiting for me.
4 months into your flight from this world, Ino slaps me and Hinata cries. They say I need to move on, that I'm obsessed with you, that that girl, Tenten isn't you. I'm not obsessed, I simply love you. Tenten, that girl, is you, and that is a fact, my eyes do not deceive me. And I won't move on, not when you are so close, so close to my grasp. Naruto sides with Hinata (and Ino), they are dating after all. He challenged me to get to know the 'new' you. But, it's okay if I refuse right? I already know you, why must I meet you again?
Her name is Tenten, first year, and an orphan. It takes me two weeks to get use to the fact that in order to gain you back; I must make friends with her. She's quiet and only uses her gaze to dictate her words. We have never heard her speak. I wonder if she speaks, would she have your melodic voice? Her name is Tenten, and in the 5th month since her arrival, she has our group entrapped with her eyes.
It takes another month before I can fully consider her a friend. One afternoon was spent with just us two passing the break. The others are too busy celebrating their anniversaries to care about us. I miss the times where we will leave them, to celebrate our own love. Silence passes over us and hangs like a cloud. When I turned to look at her, her gaze spoke volumes. It is then, in the 5 months I've known her can I trust her. I spill my thoughts to her about you, about us, about how I just can't live without you. She looked at me, smiled and nodded. She understood what no one else could. She understood us. We spend more afternoons sitting on the rooftop, me talking and she listening. I wonder if she ever feels tired of listening. When I ask, she shakes her head and smiles with her eyes. More secrets are spilled.
Sometimes, I have a morbid fear that she is taking over your place in my heart. Sometimes I fear that I have spilled too many secrets and thoughts about us that she would get annoyed and leave me, just like you. She has become precious to me, my own secret keeper, but she will never replace you. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I feel that I am betraying you, giving up those memories of us to another person to share. I feel that when I finally find you and reach you, you will slip further away. Sometimes, when I bring flowers to your grave, I want to cry, but I hold them in, until I am with her, spilling the fairytales of me and you. Am I betraying you to her?
She disappears one day with no warning, no sign, just like you. Maybe the new you got sick of me, too tired of listening to the past. Ino is quiet, not even Shikamaru can open her up. When I finally raise my voice, something I haven't done for the 6 months you were gone, all their heads snap towards me. Where is she, where is Tenten, that is what I asked. There are more tales to be spilled about you and me. There are only two people willing to listen, one has flown, and the other has vanished. It is Neji that speaks up. His face draws to a grim and tells me bluntly, Tenten is in the hospital. Ino cuts him off there.
Tenten has disappeared for a month, never once have I visited her in the hospital. I fear that if I see her, I will start crying, thinking it was you lying in her spot. My mind is churning, all these memories build up in my head and there is no one to listen. It is not until Shikamaru catches me in the hallways and drags me into his car. Neji and Naruto both are already in it, waiting for the two of us. They say we are going on a little road trip, and when I ask about school, they scoff, asking when did I actually care. I can only shut my mouth and stifle a laugh. They are truly the best friends one can ask for.
They had taken me past meadows and valleys, river banks and forests, everywhere where you and I, us and them have touched upon, made memories with. Each stop, one of them will turn to me and asked me if I remembered. How could I not, when every thought of mine is plagued with you? Our final stop is at the hospital, the very same one where I had awoken to, the very same one where I woke up, knowing you can never come back to me. It is Neji's pushing, Narutos pulling and Shikamaru's groaning that gets me through that door. Neji leaves to talk to a receptionist, and I throw a quick questioning glance to Shikamaru. Why am I here, what memories but your official parting can I relive here?
2 hours later I stepped out of that building. We had visited her, Tenten. She looked so much like you, only with brown hair. Pale and unmoving, hair scattered around her head like a halo. In my mind, she is you, the angel that has returned, she is the sleeping princess awaiting her prince. She was in an accident, saving a boy from getting killed by traffic, sacrificed herself for him. She is you, the relentless angel that gave and gave and never took. It is not until we are sitting in Neji's and Hinata's apartment, silent and unmoving. Ino is the one who tells us the story, but it is Hinata that gives us an ultimate reason. 7 months since her appearance, one month of friendship, I wake up knowing that her gazes represented the voice she did not have. Tenten Long was mute.
For nights I thought about our secret sharing, namely me sharing my thoughts of you and her listening to them. I found myself wondering about what she thought, what were her dreams, what did she love. Perhaps I am falling for the new you, all over again. You were always a puzzle to me, fascinating and attention grabbing. She is too, but she seems more challenging, a mysterious puzzle, with many different stories. I snap open my eyes. Maybe this is the first time it may have dawned upon me. What if, she's not you? What if this attachment I have to her because of you breaks if I realize that she isn't you? What if you had already gone, and willingly left me behind? I'm scared.
And it dawns to me that she might not be you. Don't you leave me too, Tenten.
-Sasuke Uchiha