Here's Chapter Three, which is so far my favorite for the dialogue near the end. ALSO, I'm in MAJOR need of help on the next chapter. See me at the bottom after you're done reading.

I do not own D. Gray-Man.


It was a glorious pink-hued Friday along the coasts of Unreality. A peculiar redhead bent down over the tidal pool, and gazed into it with wide eyes and a gleeful smile. "Oh, how pretty! It's always fun to see the rocking horses out again!" Sure enough, an orange rocking horse was swimming back and forth in the little hole. It squeaked every time it made a complete movement, and obviously could have used a little bit of oil.

"Yes, it is," Clarence answered her with joy. "Do you think we'll see the water balloons again, too?"

She nodded. "It does seem likely." Maria-Mandy then stood upright and dusted off her skirts. "But, now we should be off! There's all kinds of things that we can be doing today!!" She clapped her hands. Unreality was swallowed up by Reality in an instant, like an insect being eaten by a fish.

They stood on a cold, gloomy beach. It was starting to drizzle and there were disturbing clouds hovering in the distance. The darkness was swirling and whiling with malice.

Maria-Mandy beamed. "Oh! It's so windy! Perhaps we'll see the monkeys flying around today!!"

The hat was quiet, maybe just thinking. "Don't monkeys generally live in warmer climates, Miss Demi?"

"Sure they do. But it's so windy today, that they might just have to come, right? Monkeys love to fly!!" She tipped Clarence off of her head and reached down inside of him. This time, her entire head sunk down below him before she found the item she was looking for. Slowly, Maria-Mandy pulled out an umbrella.

It was in surprisingly good condition, considering it had been stuck down in a hat for goodness-knows-how-long. It was gray, much like her gloves, and a bit pointy around the edges where the wires were sticking out.

Maria-Mandy pulled Clarence back into place with a bit extra muscle, to be sure he wouldn't fall off somehow. "Are you ready to fly?"

"Fly?! In this weather?! Miss Demi, you must be joking!!"

"Not at all," she grinned. "How else are we going to find the monkeys? Besides that, there's no way the rabbits can follow! It's a perfect plan, really."

"B-but there's a storm over there! And that umbrella is made of metal! Do you know what happens when lightning and metal meet each other!? They get quite cross, you know!"

She nodded, but clearly wasn't really paying attention. "They'll have to make nice, then," she stated bluntly as she opened up the umbrella.

The wind scooped the duo up. They whizzed through the sky.

The gust pulled them this way. It pulled them that way. Maria-Mandy giggled with delight every time she was tossed upside-down or suddenly backwards. She was having great fun. Clarence, though he was only a hat, was starting to feel ill.

"Do you any monkeys yet?!" Maria-Mandy hollered to Clarence. "Maybe you should start making chimp noises!"

"N-no! Please, make it stop!!"

"What?! That didn't sound like a monkey-call to me!!"

Clarence swallowed in worry. Sometimes the hat wondered how he got into the mess that was Maria-Mandy's life. When he had decided to follow her, flying in a storm via umbrella wasn't on his list of concerns.

It was funny how fast he updated that list.

"Wahoooo~!" Maria-Mandy stuck her feet straight back, making them fly around even faster. One hand was holding the umbrella's handle, while the other was occupied with keeping Clarence in place. "Isn't this great?!"

"Y-yes! It i-is, Miss Demi!" He tucked his wings in, worried he might get separated otherwise. "But how do we land?!"

"We don't!" She laughed maniacally at feeling the hat's panic. "Not until I see a monkey!!"

Clarence was sure that they would be up there forever. He was fairly certain that they were never going to see a monkey, either. After all, Miss Demi had neglected to get the monkey-whistle before taking off. Without that, they would probably be off eating fruit or playing ping-pong somewhere.

But like a mysterious light of hope in the darkness, a shadow rose out in the storm. At first, the hat couldn't believe it. But as he focused more and more, the figure was apparent. "Miss Demi! I see one! I see a monkey!!"

"REALLY?! Where is it?!" She spun around and scanned the clouds. "By golly! It is!" She ripped the Umbrella into another direction, forcing it into a path towards the creature.

The little monkey thrashed and squealed in terror. It was held tightly in the arms of a mechanical monster. No matter how hard it bit down into the skin of the Akuma, or how frantically it wiggled, it wasn't going to be released. The demon, with its glowing eyes focused on the captive and an iron smile full of sinister satisfaction, tightened his grip. The fuzzy, helpless little being coughed and let out on last, pathetic scream.

The Akuma's head sailed right off its oddly-shaped shoulders.

The monkey felt his kidnapper weaken. He spun around and looked behind. A red-headed girl was holding her top hat like a cannon while sitting side-saddle on the pole of a gray umbrella.

"Excellent shot, Clarence," she said, nodding to her hat. The little bat wings that had been sewn in the back of the apparel waved rapidly, pulling them along side the quickly crumbling body of the mechanical monster. She stuck out one hand, watching the monkey hesitate as he quickly started dropping towards the ocean along with the Akuma's corpse. "Come on now," the odd girl coaxed. "We'll get you down, nice and safe."

The animal was confident that the situation he'd be in with the abnormal hero would be far, far better than the one he had just come out of. He gripped tight to her hand, and scurried up to her shoulder where he got a firm grip around her neck.

She made a choking noise. "Woah there, little guy. I need that for breathing." She tossed her top hat back on and grabbed the Umbrella's pole. It lengthened in sections, growing to nearly twice the girl's height. She flipped it right-side-up, one foot stationed in the handle's hook and one arm grasping the pole. The rest of her dangled out happily as they started to sink downward.

"You know, little monkey, umbrellas are also called 'parachutes'. Or was it 'parasols'? Ah, no matter. They do the same job, after all." She shook the hair out of her eyes with a free hand, and then went back to holding the winged hat on her head. "My name is Maria-Mandy, and this is my good friend, Clarence." She tipped her hat a bit in greeting. "What's your name, my furry friend?"

The monkey cooed nervously.

"Lau Shimin? An excellent name!" She looked around down below. The sand was coming into view and the ride was getting easier. "Now, little friend, where should I put you down?"

He made a concerned little noise.

"… No kidding? Here? Dear me, that is a problem, isn't it?" Maria-Mandy swallowed hard, and heard Clarence do the same. "Don't worry. I'll try to clear this up."

She closed the umbrella.

The trio plummeted from the sky, Lau Shimin screaming all the way. The girl's red hair rose like fire. The hat didn't even bother trying to slow the impact.

Thud.

Maria-Mandy's feet touched down easily on the sand, as if she'd fallen a few feet instead of a few-hundred feet. Two figures turned around to see the girl clad in blue. One, a blonde woman with a scar across her face, eyed the monkey with a churning stomach. It was easy to see in the animal's eyes that she was his person. He reached a frightened paw in her direction.

The other, a man in a top hat, though very different from Clarence, gave her an utterly baffled look. His skin was dark, and his features matched. But his eyes, his bright, yellow, chilling eyes pierced the gloomy darkness. "Who are you?!"

Maria-Mandy crossed her arms, the umbrella falling point-first into the sand where it stuck tight. "Sir Noah, I hardly think my identity is of your concern."

He glowered, fingers tightening into a fist on one side. "You're right. I'll just have to kill you and save the trouble of…" He trailed off. Maria-Mandy's cold glare into his forehead was unnerving.

He could see the golden flecks in her green eyes. "You…" he whispered inwardly.

She pointed a very condemning finger at him. "Be gone, scum. I don't have the time to deal with you today."

He sneered. "A child would dare tell me to step away. Do you even know who I am, little girl?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Yes sir, I do. You are in my way. Be gone. Off with you. Shoo!"

"I will teach you to respect me, fool," he jeered. The Noah man closed in quickly and jabbed at her with a tensed hand. It sailed through her chest. She gasped. His arm had gone right through her, and she hadn't felt a thing.

Not waiting to see his master start bleeding, Clarence dive-bombed the Noah, swallowing his head.

The Noah cried out in agony. His skin burned where Clarence had touched him. His hand came right back through Maria-Mandy's body, not so much as a dent left where it had entered. The girl gabbed her hat off of the stranger and held tight to his wings. Clarence seemed almost like he really was a cannon, being held in such a serious way.

"I told you to leave, nasty Noah! Be gone, and tell the rabbits that they shall not triumph this day!!" He slinked backwards, scowling at the blood that was dripping from his forehead, and then shot a nasty leer in her direction.

"I don't have the patience for this right now. Next time we meet, you won't be so lucky." In the shadow of a passing cloud, he had vanished.

The blonde woman approached slowly, unsure. Lau Shimin leapt off of Maria-Mandy's shoulder. He gave his master a big hug, not daring to let go for even a moment. She scratched his head, still looking at the younger female.

"Who are you?" She looked down at the redhead.

The girl tipped her hat. "I'm Miss Maria Mandolin Sharyn Belmont-Gayle, Ma'am." Unfortunately for Maria-Mandy, her fingers were shaking and nervous. She dropped Clarence. With a surprised scream, the girl darted to retrieve her hat. "Oh dear! Are you alright?!" "Am I alright?! He stuck his hand through you! Are you alright, Miss Demi?!"

"I'm absolutely fine! You didn't pick up any of his nasty Noah brain-germs did you?!"

"Of course not! Everybody knows that Noahs don't have cooties! That's only human boys!"

"… Really?"

The woman felt a sweat drop developing on he forehead. "Well, Miss Maria, what in the world were you doing out in this weather? And how did you find Lau Shimin?"

"Me? Oh, well I was looking for flying monkeys out there. That little guy just happened to be the first I found," she said, indicating the little primate cuddling the woman.

She growled. "It's very rude to lie to your elders, young lady."

"What?! But, I'm not lying! And besides, I'm your elder. I turned one-hundred-and-twenty-six last month!"

The blond was about fed up with the rubbish from the younger girl's mouth. "Young Lady, I should report you to your Head Officer! Not only are you being horribly rude, but you were foolish enough to try to take on a Noah!"

Maria-Mandy pocked a lip. "Head Officer? Ma'am, I hate to be the one to tell you, but I fly solo."

"Ridiculous! You report to Komui, right? Miss Maria, you are going to be in a lot of trouble when we get back to Headquarters."

The hat-wearer slapped her forehead. "I'm not an Exorcist!"

"You… aren't?"

"No! I just like to kick the occasional Akuma around! That's all!"

The woman was sure now that the kid was just spinning yarns. But, if it meant the girl would be forced to shut up and respect her, she was willing to play for a few minutes. "Alright, listen up. I am General Klaud Nyne. As General, I'm ordering you to come to Headquarters with me to become an exorcist."

Maria-Mandy waved her hands rapidly. "Sorry, Ma'am, but this Demigod isn't interested in the offer." She grabbed the umbrella from the sand. "It was a pleasure to meet you, though. Maybe some other day, General Nyne, I'll have the time to visit the Dark Order?"

Maria-Mandy clapped her hands and vanished into nothing.

The female general blinked a few times and felt doubt towards her own sanity for a moment. "Did you see that?" she asked the monkey.

Lau Shimin shrugged.

The next chapter is still in its developing stages. I know that Kanda's going to be involved and then... nothing. Sorry. GIVE ME A HAND!!

How should Kanda meet up with the insane OC, and what do you think should happen.

Seriously people, press that button and save me.

ALSO, Axiom Bitter-Sweet users will be happy to know that I'm going to be working on that for the next few days, so you can expect an update in the near future.

PRESS THAT BUTTON!!