Thanks "Vilofied, Joreyna and superdani152003, and Talia.Toadette" for all of your kind reviews. You are VAMPTASTIC as nomoremarbles puts it. Check her out on Youtube she is amazing. onto further and amazing news...

TODAY IS TWILIGHT DAY. Why? Why is it twilight today? I'LL TELL YOU WHY. Because today, i swear to baby jesus and all his wonderful blessings, that twilight was stalking me. it's not just obsession here people. It's freaking ridiculous how attentive I am to everything twilight. So, to start off my day, I'm sitting in the library for my Ap US History (no LAPUSH this time, sorry) test and the proctor is telling us how to fill in the letters. "H as in Henry. Z as in Zebra. Bla bla bla." And then, out of no where "E as in Edward." Not good when you have your closest Twilight fanatic friend sitting right next to u. We kind of flipped out. Then, she was calling more letters. Not two minutes later "R as in Robert." Ok, not something to flip about? WRONG. In an hour it's break and Pannn ( long story but thats her nicky) and I are flipping through TIME magazine and pointing out people that could be "Emily" or "Charlie" or "Jacob" and we turn to this page and wham there's this picture of a pale looking person, like a vamp. We read the title. "Next J.K. Rowling?" Next headline "Stephenie Meyer bla bla vamptastic bla bla fricken amazing bla bla..." We tweeked. We were about to cry. Why? Because that is completly unexpected. It doesn't end there my friends, it just doesn't end.

So I'm on my way home with my pop and he opens the garage and there, in my garage, is a S60 Volvo in plain sight. I stared. I glared. I might have even drooled. Ok, so it was black and not silver, but HELLO? R u kidding me with this? Ok, sure it was my neighbors and my dad was only polishing it but still. Why, baby jesus, must you torment me with things I can't have. So, on the way to pick up some baby things with my mother, guess what song comes on? Starlight by Muse. What the fresh hell is going on? So, I'm singing along to it and SHAZAM! Along comes Mr. Volvo in silver form and I twitched. Mum was staring at me like a freak. Pull into VG parking lot and KABLAM! The same Volvo that is in the movie was right there. I almost wet myself. I seriously was about to urinate. (Ok not really cuz thats kinda gross.)

So, today is TWILIGHT DAY for me because about every three hours there is something twilight. Oh, and guess what random song just started to play on iTunes. Yep. You guessed it. Claire de Lune. Someone shoot me.

No, don't because then I wouldn't be able to read BD or see the movie. I think I'll just get some Zzzz's then. Night night.

TOMORROW I GET MY COPY OF THE HOST! Has anyone read it yet? Did you like it?

Heath and I stood on the front steps of my house, glaring at each other.

Before I could turn towards the door and leave him in the darkness, he spoke. "Either you're afraid of commitment, or you have something you're hiding from me."

"Don't do this Heath. Don't get mad because I wouldn't kiss you."

"That's not the point!" He was more flared up than I could have ever imagined. His face was red and his hands were shaking in anger. I wanted to place my chilled hands on his face to calm him down, but he would only take that the wrong way.

"Then what is?"

"The point is that we match, you and me. It's like a magnetic force and you're resisting."

"You're too persistent."

"No, I'm perfectly normal. You're the one with problems. You are possibly the coldest woman anyone could have ever asked for."

Now I was becoming more ticked with the seconds that passed between us. "I am not! Just to you because you won't bugger off!"

"Is that what you want? For me to leave you alone?"

I sighed. This tension was only going to make things worse. "Heath, I want us to be friends and if you can't deal with that, then there is no use in trying."

His anger dropped suddenly and he was now staring at the stars with a fixed fascination. "You aren't dating anyone and neither am I. You could give this a chance quite easily. But, since you aren't, that gives me a reason to believe that there is someone else."

I didn't say anything. Who would believe me being in love with a man named "Corpus"? I had to give him a different name…one that wasn't so odd and outdated.

"Yes, there is."

"You could have just said that in the first place." He was quite for a moment, listening to the breeze that fluttered through the trees and tossed my hair to the right. "What's his name?"

I had the name ready as he said it. "Aiden." That wasn't much better than Corpus but it was a significant difference in eras.

"He doesn't go to our school."

"No."

"Lives in the city?"

"No."

"State?"

"No."

"Country."

"No."

"Does he even exist?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "You're not lying, that's for sure. But that is just weird."

"Oh, really? Well, I don't see you with your soul mate so you shouldn't even talk."

He laughed then, a deep throated laugh of pure human angst, something I would never have again. "Of course not, she won't have me."

I shook my head and turned to go. His feeble attempt to hold onto me was sad, really. "Go home, Heath."

"Don't worry, I will. I leave for Italy in two days."

That caught my attention at once. "What?" I was now facing him, fear emanating through my pores.

"My parents asked if I wanted to be an exchange student early."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He stared down into my eyes as if he wanted to brush the hair from my face. He didn't, thank god. I don't think I could stand containing my guilt if he did that. I would be guiltier than Edward was about stealing away Bella's life. Which, by the way, was completely stupid and I was going to have to duff him up a bit for it. "Because I wanted to see if this was going to go anywhere. But now that I see it's a waste of time, I'm going."

I was the one to grab onto him this time, careful not to crush his arms. "Listen to me, Heath. You can't go there. Don't go to them. Don't go to Volterra."

"Why, so you can keep me in suffering all summer? No thanks."

Now was the time to dazzle him, as Bella called it. I let the full force of my eyes hit him and he wasn't breathing as I spoke to him. "You can not go to Italy. Stay away from there."

He didn't utter a sound as my fingers tightened. His thoughts were racing but his facial expression didn't change. "I have to." He spoke at long last, but not the words I wanted to hear.

It took me a moment to realize he was rushing towards his car. Heath's face was pale, like mine, and it was then that I realized how frightened he was. Not because of my strength or the nature of my eyes, but because even I knew that going to Italy was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

In the guiltiest of manners, I stumbled into the house. They all had been listening to my conversation and now I was to pay for it, though I had no idea why. I couldn't bring my eyes to theirs as my hands slapped to my face. I wanted to cry. I just fed Heath to the vampires, metaphorically speaking. I could have, should have, would have stopped him had I the selflessness of my family.

"How could you do that, Lilly?" It was Esme's voice that first came to my ears. "He's going to be changed and no one will be there to comfort him."

"He will have his family." I grumbled to myself more than to them, but they still heard.

"He hates his family, if you haven't noticed."

"I have."

"Yet, if he were to have you around, to guide him, then this change would make it easier for him."

Why did they care so much?

"Because you would want the same." That time Edward's voice was audible over the din.

I nodded, but was still going to be stubborn. "He's to persistent, cocky, pompous and—"

"Not corpus."

The tensions that would have existed in a normal family were absent due to Jasper's calming signals he was sending us. I refused to answer though as Edward probably already knew the truth and was telling Carlisle.

Carlisle was watching me with an unfathomable expression. "That's very selfish, Lilly."

"I'm sorry I cannot be as selfless as you all are." I'd had enough of this conversation.

Upstairs I went, ignoring every stare and glare I received, knowing all too well that they were right and I was wrong.

Summer. It was tedious at this time of year and I was awfully bored. I had ceased to paint, finding my creativity run dry because all I wanted to paint was one person. Yet I knew what torment that would bring me and Alice would just take it away anyways. I understood that it was for my own good, to keep me from going mad and leaving them at the earliest convenience, but it still ticked me off that they would stop me from even thinking of him.

"I swear I'm becoming a homosexual with all of the NC-17 thoughts racing through your head!" Edward had yelled at me one morning while the whole house was just rising from their silent reminiscing.

"Then stay out of my head!" I yelled back as I threw a pillow at him.

My thoughts were not NC-17, but rather a simple, chaste kiss of love and devotion that every man should give his wife. But it was the repetition of that thought that bothered Edward.

Without my awareness, I began to think back upon the life I once had. I had never really had the time to think about it, or to hate my family as it was. But, now that time was ever more present in my life, the thoughts tumbled over. There were plenty of things I hadn't thought about in two years and it was time to think about them. I had the time and so I was going to.

Just not while Edward was listening.

"I'm curious." Was his only answer when I caught him tuning into "my mind" signal. It didn't help that Bella wanted to know as well, she was just afraid to ask.

"It's too personal."

"We won't ask questions. Just tell us."

"I can only tell you about my human existence, nothing more."

"Works for us."

I wondered for a brief moment why Edward wanted to know so bad when I realized that he had always been curious. He had just never found the right time to ask me or possibly he was afraid of the consequences of asking such a question. I led them over to my couch, letting Bella get comfortable in Edward's lap before beginning. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't as Bella's blood was distracting me. What fresh hell? That never happened before.

"What is it?" Edward was suddenly alert, glancing from me to Bella with concern.

I reached behind me and grabbed a box of chocolates that I had bought for examination earlier in the week. (Eating food and then throwing it up later had caught my dubious fascination and I was curious as to the variations of the dirt tasting chocolates since Prom.) I handed them to her and without a word she began to eat them.

Concentration was back on task and I was ready to begin. "My mother is not really my mother. She is my adoptive mother."

"I believe you mentioned it once or twice."

"Yes, well I can't remember."

"Which is odd because you should; seeing as you can recall glimpses from 1554."

"I am two seconds away from beating you over the head with a chair."

He stifled his laugh and so did Bella. Why was I the source of entertainment all of a sudden? Shouldn't I hate them right now?

"Carry on. I promise not to interrupt."

I glowered for only a second before carrying on as he wished. "Where to begin? Oh yes, before I do, please do not think me a whiner because of my crap childhood. As I said before, I was a mistake. Not in the usual 'Oops, we got pregnant' sense. More of the 'Let's adopt because I want to retain my slim figure'. It's probably more common in this era, but I now believe it wasn't just a trend Gloria went through. It was her own selfish nature, her own selfishness that made her adopt me. Why adopt me? That is the one thing I cannot figure out about her character. I wasn't a pretty child nor am I pretty like Rosalie is now. You see, Gloria was a model, and what a success she was. But, the only thing that could have led her to a plain thing like me was because I offered a normal and stable life. George was the first step. The perfect husband to her perfect little life. I was the next, but her figure was of the utmost importance. I can still see her today, that small waist and powerful legs that push off the ground with little knowledge of gravity.

George was a man of good qualities but distant, reserved, cold. I remember quite well how he would only watch me do things and never question my train of action. But, enough of them. Onto my childhood."

Bella took a bite of chocolate and sighed in satisfaction. Could it be that I found her weakness? Chocolate? "Do you like chocolate, Bells?"

"No, I like listening to you speak."

Not surprising in the least. Plain Bella and her indecipherable fascinations. "Oh, well then I shall carry on. I was a disappointment as I grew up. I wasn't one for bows or flower dresses. I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to wear jeans and t-shirts, even coming so close as cutting all of my hair off." At this, Bella crinkled her nose. "I never did, as you can tell." I took a hold of my hair and ran my fingers through, all the way down to the very ends where they slightly curled. "I took ballet and failed at it. I took beauty school courses and failed at that. The one thing that I was excellent at was etiquette and I can see that that makes sense because of what I am. What I truly am."

"What are you?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "A reincarnation of an ancient lady from the city of Bartelona."

Bella looked as if she didn't believe me. No one believed me. But that was the many pleasures of having time on one's hands because then they can remember exactly where they put the evidence. "Moving on. It wasn't until High School that I realized my parents despise for me. I was aggressive, anxious to destroy and impossible to contain in one spot. My childhood vigor was marked by incalculable inquisition of my own strength. I showed it to you Edward and I also described some of my high school years. It wasn't until the Institution that I learned to control it."

"What was the Institution exactly?" Edward was now serious, his eyes watching my every fidget.

I flicked my hair back. This was going to be a tough one to answer. "It was — a government funded medical program for those of — unique abilities." He nodded but I was almost positive he wasn't going to speak, so I went on. "I hated my parents for what they did…and my poor sister."

Bella and Edward's eyebrows both rose in shock. "Sister?"

"Yes. Gloria finally decided she wanted one of her own in the natural way. I was eleven when she had this decision and completely aware of her motives behind it. She wanted something to claim as her own, something that wasn't messed up. Don't get me wrong, I was cared for as much as a human could be. Fed, clothed in nice brands, and had a room to myself. I didn't ask for anything and they didn't ask for anything back. It was a mutual contract…until they sent me away. The incidents were attracting far too much attention." I small smirk played on my lips and I must have looked positively evil. "After my 'death', I didn't think about them and so that is why I am going to pay them a little visit."

Edward was clenching his fists by the time I revealed this little decision of mine. He wasn't mad that I was leaving, rather mad at the thought of me making a quick one so that he couldn't hear it in my thoughts. Neither could Alice for that matter but I was sure the whole world of vampires knew by now.

"You're 'death'? A visit?"

"I was purposefully killed but by whose command I know not of. And yes, a little visit to retrieve a few items that I am missing."

"Like? We have given you everything you would want."

"You cannot give me what I once had, Edward. I cherish my human existence because I can remember it the most. Though as impecunious as it was, it is still a memory worth keeping."

He said nothing at this.

And so, with my boredom and extreme agitation, I packed my bags and loaded up my BMW. Esme and Alice were blocking my way at the front door and Rosalie was already taking apart the engine as I forced through them with the strength I had never used on them.

"I'm coming back, I promise. There are just some things I need to see before I push them aside and never think of them again."

"Like what?" Esme cried, taking my hand with her begging. "You don't have to do anything! You can stay here, with us and just be happy!"

"I am happy, Esme. I just have to check up on something."

She didn't respond.

"At least stay within the country." Alice grumbled to me. Rosalie looked at me and then began to assemble my car once again.

"I will stay within the state. Better? Edward will explain."

They both nodded and I, without any hesitation, hopped into my car and drove off down south. Little to their knowledge or to Edward's, I kept what happened at the Institution a secret because what happened there was something I couldn't let them see or read or hear. If they knew that I had killed someone—I wouldn't want them to think of me as a killer. I wasn't a killer. It was an accident. Besides, they sent me on the mission and it wasn't my fault if he wanted to shoot me though authorized otherwise. Alas, I shoved it from my thoughts once again and sighed heavily, my life beginning to weigh down upon my shoulders.

My house was more suburban and lovely than I had remembered it. The white picket fence, the porch with Colonial columns, the red roses and ivy that grew along the walls and the purple shutters on each window, and the lacy curtains that my adoptive mother had loved so much.

Kira was playing in the front yard with a girl from across the street, her brown hair flapping in the wind as they chased each other. That was what I had wanted to see. She was nine now and more than capable of comprehending my "death". As I watched from my tinted windows, I heard her giggle and that sound rang in my ears with a tender longing.

George and Gloria appeared then and from what I could tell, she was pregnant. Out with the old, in with the new…or so they say. George's hair was graying, but he was still as handsome as the day they unwillingly adopted me. Gloria looked like the perfect mother as she brushed off Kira's dress. They were happy. The perfect family.

And then Kira's eyes went upward towards my car and stared at it for quite some time as if she could see through the windows. Maybe if she stared hard enough, she would see me and know that it was all a lie. That I didn't die. I was still alive and would forever be alive.

"What is it, honey?" Gloria asked just before her eyes came up to the car window.

But I was already speeding off into the oncoming night.

I rented a hotel room outside of town where no one knew my face. I would happen upon an old classmate once in a while and thank god that they didn't recognize me. However, I couldn't hold in my laughter as I found that most of them were married with children, balding and fat. It had only been two years and already they were on the road to old age.

But, other than those small sightings, I would people watch and often it would be my own family. I watched them quietly as they went shopping together, eating together, laughing together as a family should. But at night, when everyone else was snoring, I observed the erythematic inhales and exhales of her breath keeping me by her side for hours. I could watch her forever, that spoiled little thing. For weeks I did this, promising myself that I would come back to her when the time was ready. I supposed, in a creepy way, that I was stalking my sister. But I admitted to myself that it was somewhat fun, and I would continue doing so when she grew older. The last night I watched her sleep, I remembered something that I had periodically forgotten. I stood and went down the hall, holding in my breaths as I looked at it.

My door still contained random sketches that I had drawn during my hours of boredom. The whole door was covered in them, all of various shapes and sizes and each one depicting something different. I pushed open the door and stepped inside, marveling at how depressed I was as a teen. My room was plain, but there were posters and pictures with random drawing everywhere. My black shelves held all of my small knickknacks and favorite books. I picked up my copy of Wicked Lovely and scanned through the pages. I plopped it into my bag and continued my search for the object of my desire. This room was alien to me now, not anything like how I was at that moment.

I searched for a good hour, which was ages for a mythological creature, before I found it underneath my bed surrounded by dust bunnies. I don't remember why I put it there or why I stopped wearing it, but there it was.

Lifting the box's lid sat my ancient diamond ring that I had always worn before I went to the Institute. My parents thought I had lost it, but I knew better.

I dug out the silver chain and dangled the ring before me. Then, as if there were no people within the house, I began to silently weep to myself. No tears came, but I was crying. Whoever gave me this ring, whether it was Corpus or my real parents, must have loved me. There was someone in this world that knew me as I had been in ancient times past, was in human existence, and in this new life. I missed that person and I wanted them to hold me so badly. I was a brave little soldier, always handling my new life with dignity, but I was extremely lonely.

There was a noise within the house, footsteps and whispers, but before George and Gloria could reach my room I was already heading back to Forks wearing the diamond ring about my neck.

A/N: Has anyone read Wicked Lovely? It is one of my fav series now. Nothing beats Twilight but, hello? Who doesn't love faeries? Don't answer that if you don't.