Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold Ch. 17
Disclaimer: Everything recognizable in this story belongs to the CW and Kripke. I'm just playing in their sandbox for a little while.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
Previously: "Sammy calm down, it's just dad." Dean stated as he tried to keep Sam from hurting himself. He watched as John backed away with a broken hearted look upon his face at the fear shining in Sam's eyes. He heard the heart monitor starting to wail and saw Jurgen come running into the room.
Seeing his young patient in obvious distress, Jurgen jogged over to the medical supply cabinet and pulled out a vial of clear liquid and a sterile syringe. Quickly returning to his patient, Jurgen snatched open the protective packaging and plunged the needle into the vial which held a sedative known as diazepam. Swabbing an area on Sammy's arm with an alcohol wipe, Jurgen pushed the needle into Sam's arm and depressed the plunger as Dean held his brother tight. While waiting for the sedative to kick in, he placed two of his fingers on Sam's wrist to keep track of his pulse.
"What the hell happened?" Jurgen questioned as he pulled off his stethoscope and placed the ends in his ears to listen to Sam's heart. He was happy to note that the sedative was taking effect as Sam's panic level had started receding and his heart rate was starting to return to a more normal rate of beats per minute.
"Damned if I know." John stated as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Sammy had started waking up and he just freaked when he saw me. He started pleading with me to leave him alone. It's like he thought…" John's face quickly began to become devoid of all color as a sudden realization hit him. "Oh gawd, he thought I was going to hurt him. He thought I was that bastard who tortured him for so long. " Feeling his legs becoming weak, John sat down in the chair beside Sammy's bed and placed his head into his hands, struggling to deal with the knowledge that his youngest was scared of him.
"Dad, Sammy was out of it from all the pain medication, he knows you wouldn't hurt him." Dean said trying to dispel his father's worry's. He could see just how much his dad had been hurt by Sammy's reaction to him.
"John, Sam's reaction isn't all that unusual after such a severe trauma. I'm sure you've seen cases of PSTD or post traumatic stress disorder from your days in the Marines. After everything he's been through, Sam was bound to suffer some after effects. You're going to have to give him the time and space he needs to get through this. I know it's hard, that you want to comfort him and let him know you're there for him, but you have to do what's best for your son." Jurgen informed the devastated father as he placed a comforting hand on John's shoulder.
"Damn it, this isn't fair, he's just a kid." John swore wishing he could raise Hank and torture him all over again. Glancing over towards his baby boy's bed, he saw that Sam was now in a drug induced slumber. Reaching out to card his fingers through Sammy's hair, he asked, "Why is it that everything always happens to you kiddo? Why can't you ever seem to catch a break?" Grasping Sam's wrist to avoid his injured hand, he gave it a very light squeeze before bending down to kiss his youngest lightly on the forehead.
Bobby and the others watched with concern as John's demeanor visibly crumpled at the way Sammy had reacted to him. They knew how long John had been waiting for Sammy to wake up so that he could hold him and tell him that everything would be alright. Bobby was about to say something to try and make things better when he heard Jurgen talk to John about Sammy possibly having PTSD. He hoped John was listening because a lot of what Jurgen was saying made sense to him.
Losing himself in his own thoughts, Bobby remembered quite a few hunters who had suffered from the disorder themselves after a particularly bad hunt. He knew the most they could do was to be there to support Sam if and when he needed their help. He hoped that taking Sammy back to his place when he got released from the clinic would give him a sense of security, a place where he didn't have to be afraid. Feeling a need to be close to the kid himself, Bobby walked over and stood near the foot of Sammy's bed to keep watch over the sleeping youngster.
Jurgen had checked Sammy's pulse one last time and was just about to leave the room when Dean put a hand on his arm to stop him. "Hey doc, how long do you think Sammy will have to stay here? I mean he doesn't like hospitals and he might feel more safe if he was in a familiar environment."
"Yes, you're probably right about that Dean. But Sammy needs at least another twenty four hours of observation and I won't release him until I can make sure he won't be suffering any more extreme panic attacks like the one he just had. Too many of those could be detrimental to his health with the shape that he is in right now." Jurgen answered.
"Okay, thanks doc." Dean stated as he returned his attention back to Sammy. He would do whatever it took to keep his brother calm so they could go to Bobby's place as soon as possible since he hated hospitals himself.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
A few hours later, Sam was beginning to exhibit signs of waking up once again as he started shifting restlessly on the bed. Not wanting to scare his youngest again, John stood up and walked over to the far side of the room and out of the line of Sammy's sight allowing Dean to take the lead in meeting Sammy's needs this time. Sitting on the edge of Sam's bed, Dean grasped his little brother's hand and squeezed it lightly avoiding the area where the I.V. lay.
"Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean asked as he used his other hand to brush away the stray bangs from Sammy's eyes.
"De'n" Sam questioned as he blinked his eyes trying to clear his cloudy vision.
"Yes, S'me tiger." How are you feeling?" Dean replied.
"Hurts." Sammy whispered with a grimace as he shifted in the bed once again trying to get comfortable.
"Hurts where Sammy?" Dean queried with concern evident in his voice. Sammy had already hurt enough to last him a life time and he couldn't stand knowing that his brother was in pain now.
"Ev'rywh'r" Sam answered with a little bit of a slur as a tear leaked from the side of his eyes.
"I'll buzz the doc and see if he can give you something for the pain kiddo." Dean said as he started to reach over for the call button on the side of Sammy's bed.
"No, don't" Sam whimpered as he began to tense up once again.
"Shhh, relax dude." Dean soothed as he reached out to rub his thumb soothingly up and down Sam's cheek. "I ain't going to let anything happen to you tiger, I'll be right here with you the whole time. You're hurting Sammy and you need something for the pain."
"Dean please." Sammy pleaded as he grasped his brother's hand to keep it from touching the button.
"Okay, tell you what kiddo, I'll ask the doc for some pain pills if you are up to swallowing them. That way he doesn't have to come into the room. You okay with that?"
"Ye-yeah" Sam answered with a tight smile unable to look Dean in the eyes. He hated that he was feeling so skittish right now, but he just couldn't seem to get a handle on his feelings just yet."
Reaching out and placing a hand under Sammy's chin, Dean gently lifted it so that his little brother would have to look at him. "Sammy, there's nothing to be embarrassed about kiddo. You've been through hell and have every right to be paranoid around other people. We're going to get you through this dude, together!. And when you're ready, Dad will be here to help too."
"Dean I didn't mean…"
Knowing exactly what Sam was apologizing for, Dean cut him off by saying, "S'okay Sammy, I promise. Dad's hurting, but he understands what you're going through and he's willing to keep his distance until you're ready to have him around. He and the others are over in the far corner and will stay there until you say it's okay for them to approach okay little man"
"M'not little." Sam said as petulantly as he could, showing a little of the old Sam coming through. He was a little bit antsy about them being in the same room, but he was grateful they were there for protection just in case.
"I know you're not tiger. You're shooting up like a weed, but I'm always going to be taller than you dude, like it or not." Dean said with a smirk eliciting a small smile from his brother.
"Jerk" Sam replied with a wry grin.
"Bitch" Dean retorted with his usual banter before going over towards the door to see if he couldn't get some pain medication for Sammy.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
Later that evening, Jurgen headed down the hallway to Sam's room to check on his injuries and change out the soiled bandages for some fresh ones. He knocked on the door before entering to warn the family, especially Sam that he would be coming in. He hoped that Sam would be relaxed since he had given Dean a pill for anxiety earlier with the pain meds knowing that he would soon have to re-evaluate his patient's injuries. Peeking his head around the door, he saw Dean and Sam talking while the others sat at a table in the far corner of the room carrying on their own conversation. "Dean, I need to check on Sam's injuries and change some of the dressings." Jurgen said before walking into the room.
Looking at his brother, Dean stated, "Sammy, this is something I can't do. You're gonna have to let Jurgen check you out but I'll be right here by your side the whole time. If you feel yourself getting agitated, just focus on me little brother."
John and the others held their breaths waiting to see if Sammy would agree to the physical exam. They knew this could be the first step in getting back the youngster they all knew and loved.
"Okay." Sam replied with a shaky voice. He watched as Jurgen walked into the room and began to lightly tremble at the thought of somebody he didn't know invading his personal space.
"S'okay kiddo, I'm right here." Dean said as he palmed Sammy's face and began talking to him about the things he wanted them to do as a family once Sammy got out of the hospital. He made sure Sammy stayed focused on him by talking about possibly seeing the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone Park one day. He could see Sam visibly relaxing as he kept him occupied while Jurgen went about his business. Jurgen had nearly finished his ministrations but knew that he had to warn the boys about what would happen next for the sake of Sam's sanity.
"Dean, I'm going to have to clean and apply more antibiotic ointment on the burns to his testicles." Jurgen informed the older brother while watching for his patient's reaction at the same time. He wasn't surprised to see the way Sam's face lost all color as he began to breath more rapidly.
"He's not ready for that doc." Dean said as he pulled Sammy up and held him against his chest hoping to calm him down before Sammy started hyperventilating or before a panic attack could set it.
"It has to be done Dean, he can't afford for an infection to set in." Jurgen explained with an apologetic look on his face.
"Dean, no, I ca-can't…"
"What if I do it Sammy? Will you let me clean the burns and apply the ointment?" Dean queried feeling a little anxious. He didn't envy the task of having to do it, but there wasn't nothing he wouldn't do for his little brother's health.
Taking a few stuttering breaths, Sammy whispered "Kay" before allowing a tear to slip down his pinkened cheeks at the thought of his brother doing so. Even with Dean doing it, he was terrified at the though of somebody touching him there.
Agreeing for Dean to administer the treatment, Jurgen gave Dean the supplies he needed and instructed him to be gentle but thorough about cleaning the area before leaving Dean to do the task.
Taking a deep breath to relax himself, Dean looked at his dad and the others. "Do you mind giving us some privacy so I take care of this?"
"No at all son." John replied as he and the others stood up to leave the room to get themselves a cup of coffee to give Dean the time he needed to take care of Sam's more intimate wounds.
"You ready kiddo?" Dean questioned giving Sammy the once over. If he though for a minute that Sam was going to freak, he would ask for his baby brother to be sedated making it easier on him.
"Yeah, I gu-guess" Sam whispered as he started chewing on his lower lip in nervousness.
Removing the blanket from Sam's lower half, Dean launched into another monologue as he worked hoping to keep Sammy from being too embarrassed by what he was doing. Finishing the job a few minutes later, he covered Sam back up to see silent tears running down his brother's face. "I'm sorry you had to go through that tiger, but everything's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Dean said as he sat on Sam's bed once again and slid in behind his baby brother, wrapping his arms around him in support. "Just sleep kiddo, I'll be here to keep away the nightmares."
TBC