Chapter 2

Sheppard woke in a cold sweat and it took several seconds for his confused mind to realise he was in the relative comfort and safety of his quarters on Atlantis. He closed his eyes again, trying to focus his thoughts, but it was useless. Two faces, wraith and human, still formed a disturbing kaleidoscope in his mind.

Most of the blankets had already been kicked off during his troubled sleep so he just rolled over, put his feet on the cool tiled floor and sat up on the side of his rumpled bed. He rubbed his hands down his face. These dreams, these nightmares had got to stop. It had been a couple of days since that brief but difficult conversation with Teyla in the mess hall and since then, despite the smiles he had flashed at her in response to her anxious looks, absolutely nothing had changed. No, wait, that was not quite right, things had changed – they had actually got worse.

Glancing at his watch he saw there were still several hours of darkness left and knew, that without some distraction, he had seen the last sleep for the night. Throwing on only the minimal amount of clothing needed to walk the corridors of the city without offending any other nocturnal wanderers, he headed out towards the mess hall. He might find some company there, not that he was feeling particularly talkative, but at the very least there would be some coffee brewing.

As he walked through the deserted corridors, he remebered that Atlantis always seemed different at night. It purred like a contented cat, a sound that Sheppard found both comforting and confronting. Comforting because it represented the technology that gave the city its best protection against the wraith; confronting because it was a constant reminder that he was in the Pegasus galaxy, light years away from earth and all that was familiar to him. Or was it confronting because he had now spent so many years here, he felt more comfortable than in his native environment? It was an interesting conundrum and while he knew he was not in a position to think about it logically, it at least provided a temporary diversion from the Todd and Kolya problem.

Passing the control room he decided to call in. It was not necessary, but since he was awake, his military mind could not resist just checking to see if anything was happening. It was highly unlikely at this hour but he was looking for something, no matter how minor, to occupy his mind. Two of the technicians were playing cards and while he momentarily considered joining them he had to admit luck was not running his way at the moment. He had not played for a couple of months since he had lost money to Ronan while trying to teach the Satedan a particular version of poker that he used to play with his old Air Force buddies.

The head technician looked up as Sheppard wandered in. "Morning Colonel, anything I can do for you?"

The other two just kept playing cards.

"Nope, thanks, just passing through and thought I'd see if anything's goin' on." Sheppard glanced over at the bank of monitors, half hoping to hear that some problem had just come up that would demand his full attention. "Er, nothing unusual's come up I suppose?"

"No sir, pretty much business as usual. A couple of hive ships that are also just passing through..."

Sheppard looked more closely at one of the consoles that monitored the hives, their positions clearly marked as pulsating red dots, and idly wondered if one of them was Todd's. "Hmmm, how 'bout the teams we've got off-world?"

"They've all made their scheduled check-ins sir and seem to managing okay."

"Right, yeah, okay." Sheppard nodded his head. "No reason why they wouldn't be I suppose. But if anything does come up, I'll be in the mess hall."

Running his hand lightly across one of the many control panels, Sheppard gave the technician a quick nod and headed off back down the wide bank of steps leading from the control room down to the gate. He stopped momentarily to look at the large ring before continuing on his way to the mess hall.

The head technician turned to his two companions. "Anything about that seem strange to you guys?" They both looked up and shook their heads but their supervisor realised they had not heard a word of his conversation with the Colonel. Still, he thought it was decidedly odd, strange enough in fact to mention in the activity log.

-o-o-o-o-

The mess hall was empty but some over-brewed coffee sat stewing on the counter. Taking one look, Sheppard decided to grab a fruit juice out of the cooler cabinet, noting that it was the last one of his favourite kind, and headed out to the balcony to get some fresh air.

A strong breeze had been blowing during the day but it had subsided and while there was a slight chill noticeable in the night air, it was not enough to make standing outside too unpleasant. The only sound was the rhythmic sound of the waves breaking against the city while the soft light of a full moon cast its eerie presence over everything as far as the eye could see. It was a clear night as so often happened on this world when the moon was full and Sheppard felt drawn towards the peace and tranquillity. This was as good a place as any for a man to do some serious thinking, certainly better than tossing around in bed, waiting for sleep that he knew would only bring yet another nightmare.

He opened the juice and took a series of long gulps, ignoring the momentary ache as the icy cold liquid hit the roof of his mouth. Putting the bottle down on the railing beside him, Sheppard leaned over to look down to the sea far below. This was one of the places he thought he would never see again when he was Kolya's prisoner, and it was one of the first places he had come to after the rescue. Starting to relax, he quickly became oblivious to the world around him, even though thoughts about his current problem continued their domination of his mind.

-o-o-o-o-

Since taking command of Atlantis, Colonel Sam Carter's final job for the day had been to read the latest entries on the activity log to make sure she was up to date with what was happening around the city. Tonight she was late getting round to this chore, late enough to read the entry about John Sheppard's visit to the control room. Leaning back in her chair after reading and re-reading the head technician's final entry – "0200 hours - Colonel Sheppard passed through on his way to the mess hall to see if anything was happening and check on the off-world teams" – Sam reluctantly admitted it was a good job she had not turned in earlier.

Closing her eyes, she suddenly felt very tired. She had come to like and respect Sheppard and had become increasingly concerned about the inner turmoil he had been trying so hard to conceal. The discussion, or perhaps confrontation, she must have with her second in command had to come sooner or later and this seemed the ideal opportunity to approach him with a degree of privacy that would not be possible during the day.

But it was difficult on so many levels. While she could not afford to have the leader of the Atlantis expedition's most experienced team operating below maximum efficiency, a personal element was involved here too. Someone had to get him to finally face up to the need to take action though, despite his reluctance to even admit that anything was wrong, and the job seemed to fall squarely into the responsibilities of a commanding officer and a friend. Sam stood up, yawned and stretched. She was pretty sure he would not yet have returned to his quarters, so grabbing her jacket, she headed off to the mess hall.

x-X-00-X-x

The second in command watched his commander with a growing sense of relief. As yet unaware of what had happened on the isolated world below, this wily old wraith was keeping his thoughts too well guarded, he did know that the commander's mood had improved significantly. They remained in orbit and he was still awaiting some definite directions about their immediate course of action or their next destination. But at least the commander had lost the air of distraction that had been dominating and controlling his mood.

=Take us back into our alliance's territory.=

The second sighed. Not the orders he wanted to hear but it was better than staying here courting danger from the alliance that claimed this world. He was quickly learning that sometimes all one could do was wait.

-o-o-o-o-

Todd knew his second was patiently awaiting more strategic instructions but other than moving them back into their own territory, he was in no hurry. Now that he had decided on a course of action, he had to turn his mind to tracking down this human quarry and the hive was not going anywhere until he had some concrete plans in place to achieve this end.

The limited conversations he had heard between Kolya and Sheppard's friends on Atlantis indicated that the Genii was a renegade from his own people. So the first job was to find out if this was still the case and then find out as much as he could about Kolya's current location. The only way he could get this information was by using the hive's network of human spies. That select band of worshippers who travelled the galaxy in various guises, as travellers, traders, whatever best fitted the situation, collecting intelligence and information. But the galaxy was a big place and while he knew his own operatives were very effective they could only cover so much ground. If he wanted this job completed quickly he would also need the spies of at least one other hive.

This was where things would become more difficult. Todd sighed deeply, nothing ever seemed to be easy amid the atmosphere of distrust created by this civil war. Distrust that even stretched its tentacles into their own alliance. If word of a meeting with another hive became common knowledge in the alliance, he ran the risk of arousing suspicions and speculation he was hatching plans to take control. If that was not enough, the situation was further complicated by the fact that he was unable to reveal the full details of why he wanted to find this human. He had hidden the memories of his imprisonment by the Genii deep in his mind, well out of the reach of even the most powerful queen or commander, a situation he was not going to change, even in the name of ultimate revenge.

Before that time of torture and despair he had held a position of significant power and prestige as one of the oldest, most experienced wraith commanders. To admit he had not only allowed himself to be captured by humans but had also been imprisoned and tortured like some caged animal would have irretrievably tainted his reputation and destroyed any chance of ever recovering that position. So he had carefully reinvented his past to tell a story of time spent wandering the galaxy, using the human's stargates, in an endless journey to find a world where he could reconnect with his wraith brothers. Of course, the story had its flaws but he had only been tested a couple of times and both times it had stood up to scrutiny.

Walking over to a large screen, he nimbly keyed in commands that brought up a map showing the location of the seven hives that were part of this alliance. He chuckled softly. So all he had to do was arrange a clandestine meeting with another hive and persuade its commander to hand over access to his network of spies without giving away too much information about why they were needed. Certainly such a course of action posed a challenge, but one he felt more than adequate to meet.

He slowly scanned the screen, weighing up the strengths and weaknesses of his fellow commanders and the spies who were loyal to them, before finally determining which hive best fitted his needs. Moving to a bank of monitors, he transmitted a message requesting a meeting. Wraith commanders responded badly to being given orders by any but their queen and only the lead commander of an alliance would ever presume to demand a meeting with other commanders. Todd had once held that power but now he could only ask and hope that his request was accepted.

He turned to the second in command. =Take us out of orbit and head to the outer reaches of this quadrant.=

x-X-00-X-x

"I thought I'd probably find you here."

The voice was muffled and difficult to recognise against the sound of the sea. Sheppard jumped, hitting his elbow on the rail and sending his juice tumbling to oblivion over the edge as he swung around quickly to see who had joined him.

"Sorry, I couldn't see any way to let you know I was here that wouldn't startle you." Carter walked out from the shadows with a rather sheepish look on her face.

"Oh well, it's okay, you ... er ... I was just getting a little fresh air before turning in again," Sheppard stated, smiling half-heartedly before turning back to the sea.

Carter smiled right back. His response said it all. He knew exactly why she had suddenly appeared here in the middle of the night. "I know that's not true John."

Sheppard's body stiffened slightly at the challenge in her words, exactly the response she wanted. A hint of anger was barely detectable in his voice, but Sam knew it was there. "You've been talking to Teyla, or rather she's been talking to you. Now why doesn't that surprise me?"

"John, don't blame to Teyla, she's just concerned about you," she paused and moved closer to the railings. "We're all concerned about you."

"There's no need to be, I'm just having a few restless nights. No drama, no need for people to talk about me behind my back, I'm fine."

Carter finally moved to stand next to him and placed her hands on the railing, her gaze drawn to the ghostly expanse of the ocean visible to the horizon.

"Have you ever spoken to Todd about what happened between you?"

Sheppard cast a quick glance in her direction. "You've been taking lessons from Teyla too, no beating around the bush here..." his hand made a slicing motion through the air. "Just cut straight to the point." Again he laughed half-heartedly but his response was quite emphatic. "No, I haven't spoken to Todd. I haven't figured out yet, when's the right time to ask a life sucking alien who's fed on you to a point of near death, then turned around and given it all back, how he feels about the whole little adventure or whether it's causing him any sleepless nights!"

Ignoring his sarcasm, Sam was determined not to give up that easily. "Well, perhaps you should try. I know it wouldn't be easy but he must have his own memories of the Genii and they can't be very good ones. Maybe you can help each other."

"Colonel Sam Carter – galactic traveller and consulting psychiatrist to humans and wraith. I'm just not sure how well your clientele will get on together in the waiting room."

"John..."

Sheppard folded his arms across his chest defensively. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for ... look, I know you're trying to help but this isn't really about Todd. Sure, he's played a starring role in my nightmares, I'm pretty sure he's not the main problem."

"Are you really that sure?" Sam challenged.

Sheppard continued to stare out to sea for several minutes before finally answering. "Well, maybe it is a little," he sighed as the truth became difficult to deny. "Yeah, okay, I'll admit being fed on isn't something I'd recommend or would ever want to go through again but I've got things sorted with him."

While she did not really believe this, Sam knew it was a start to at least have Sheppard talking. "Are you sure about that? Because from where I'm standing it seems that there are a number of issues here that are inextricably linked. What's really bothering you about this John – the fact that you were captured by the Genii, the fact that you were fed on by a Wraith, the fact that Kolya escaped?

Sheppard nibbled his bottom lip thoughtfully then took a deep breath. "Okay, if you really want me to talk about this then you'd better be ready to do more than just walk away like Teyla did in the mess hall. You want to know what really bothered me, the thing that's stuck in my craw, the thing that's still eating away at me. It's the fact that one so called 'civilised' human, a soldier, could use a wraith to torture another military officer. It's just not how things are done. You know as well as I do that the basis of military discipline is respect and recognition that even when you're dealing with enemies there are certain lines that can't be crossed and what Kolya did well and truly crossed the line that says there's no place for torture."

"John, the humans in this galaxy are different, they have different standards, different values, they've had to develop their moral and ethical codes under the constant threat of an enemy against which they've had no protection and no way of defending themselves. We can't begin to understand what that's been like and we can't expect them to think the same way as we do about many things." Carter knew Sheppard would find this explanation difficult to accept but it had to be said anyway.

"Different ethics? Different values?" Sheppard looked confused. "Are you trying to argue some kind of defence for him?"

"No, John, far from it." Carter turned to look at him and shook her head emphatically, she just wanted him to put things in a broader perspective but obviously this approach was not going to work. "I'm just saying that things, behaviours, attitudes that we consider barbaric and unacceptable might be viewed differently here. I'm not say that makes them right but in many cases it doesn't make them wrong either, just different. I understand what you're saying and you're right, Kolya crossed a line that's unacceptable in any galaxy. I think I'd feel pretty much the same as you do if our positions were reversed."

"Kolya broke every single rule that's guided my life in the military – what he did is just wrong, it's wrong in the Milky Way and it's wrong in the Pegasus Galaxy." Sheppard's anger had reached a point of critical momentum and he finally turned to face Sam. "And you know what, this won't be settled, it won't be over, until that son of a bitch is dealt with – either dead, preferably, or left to spend the rest of his miserable life rotting in a prison cell. So what I really want is revenge, retribution, pay back, call it what you want."

Carter nodded her head but did not reply. She knew he had more to say and was prepared to give him the few minutes he needed to steady his emotions again.

When he eventually spoke again, his voice had taken on an edge of calmness. "But it's difficult, like I said to Teyla, I don't really know how to deal with this. We can't allocate resources to search the galaxy for a fugitive who doesn't want to be found, especially not just to satisfy my need for revenge. We both know the IOA would have a field day if we did. Besides this is my personal demon, I need to deal with it myself."

Carter nodded. "No, we probably can't allocate resources to search but that doesn't mean we have to just sit here and do nothing. Look, we haven't been in contact with the Genii for several months, why don't you set up a meeting, you know, just a "touching base to see how things are going" sort of thing. Then you can use it to find out what they know about Kolya's whereabouts. Ladon Radim can't be sleeping too comfortably with his rival still at large and must be using Genii intelligence and agents to keep tabs on him or at least trying to."

Carter deliberately ignored the comment about needing to do this on his own, she knew as well as he did that his team would never let that happen but now was not the time to bring that up.

Sheppard finally glanced back at Carter and nodded his head. "Yeah, I should've thought of that. I'll get on to it in the morning."

x-X-00-X-x

The hives sat above an uninhabited planet in a solar system on the outer edge of the galaxy. It was a large red world that orbited too close to its sun to support any kind of life and the amount of time the hives could spend there was limited. However, the proximity to the sun provided some limited shielding from detection by other hives plus none would think to search this world for one orbiting hive let alone two.

As he went down to meet his guest, Todd was confident he had picked his prospective ally well. By agreeing to come across to this hive, the commander had shown a significant level of trust and Todd felt sure he would agree to a proposal that would not place his own hive in danger.

The commander climbed out of his shuttle and straightened his long leather coat. He was shorter than Todd, as were most wraith, but he was solidly built and his experience showed in the strong, confident way he carried himself. This was not some timid, inexperienced commander who would agree to Todd's proposal without questioning the implications for his own hive. Both bow their heads as an acknowledgement of the other's position, neither served a queen so theoretically they were of equal rank in the alliance. But the visitor was neither as old nor as experienced as his host and demonstrated this fact by keeping his head inclined just long enough to allow Todd to lift his and see this gesture of respect.

They walked out of the dart bay and through the long, winding corridors in a silence that was not broken until they reached the place Todd had allocated for the meeting. A long, narrow room off the commander's quarters used primarily for meetings that needed to be conducted with a degree of privacy. A large table and several chairs dominated the room while its walls shone with a myriad of vibrant shades of red and orange.

The two commanders sat down opposite each other. Some tension swirled between them but it was based on uncertainty rather than distrust so Todd initiated the telepathic link and came straight to the point.

=I have asked you here to discuss a proposal.=

=I suspected as much but could not imagine what would be so important you would risk raising suspicion by arranging a meeting without the knowledge of the primary commander.=

The commander's gaze was neutral but Todd had expected such a question.

=This matter is of no importance to the alliance as a whole and I doubt very much that you would involve that one in something that did not warrant his concern.=

It was a leading question to test the visitor's views about the primary and his response, a quick smile and nod of agreement, did not disappoint. =No, I believe I would do exactly as you have done.=

Todd nodded back. =Besides, this meeting will not last long enough to raise suspicions.=

This was exactly what the visitor had hoped to hear and a vague glimpse of relief momentarily flashed across his face as Todd continued.

=Some time ago I had an encounter with a human that almost cost me my life.= While Todd unconsciously flexed his feeding hand in anticipation, he decided to take a less personal, more collective approach to his reason for wanting to find Kolya. =The time has come to show him that he cannot deal with wraith in such a way and expect to escape retribution. I seek only the help of your human spies to track down the location of the world on which this vermin is hiding, nothing more.=

=Why is finding this human so important to you?=

Todd shrugged his shoulders. =I do not think that any human should believe he can freely challenge the supremacy of wraith without expecting to be punished. I have no doubt he will have bragged to other humans about our encounter and they need to be shown the folly in such behaviour.=

=Then why did you not deal with him at the time? Why leave it until now?=

These were valid questions that Todd knew had to be answered to the other's satisfaction before any agreement would be reached but he still found them irritating. He uttered a low growl before responding verbally rather than telepathically.

"As I said, it almost cost me my life. This human was not alone and I must admit it was only through luck that I survived. I have waited until now because ... I have been involved in other things." The tone of Todd's voice indicated he was not prepared to elaborate on this statement.

A grimace broke across the visitor's face. It was widely known that this one's dealings with the humans of Atlantis had benefitted wraith so perhaps this was an opportunity to find out more about this link. Todd noticed the expression and the thoughts behind it and decided he had done enough explaining to justify his request for assistance.

So he reverted to telepathic communication.=But what happened before is not important now. My own spies are more than capable of handling this job but it is something I wish to finish quickly which is why I am asking for your help to also gather information about this human.=

The commander realised he was not going to get anything more out of this wily old wraith and looked down at his long, clawed hands for several minutes, weighing up the proposal.

Finally he nodded in agreement. =I agree, I will allow my spies to do this on your behalf and I will send two of my best agents to get instructions. But we both know this help you seek carries risks – if any of them comes to harm I will expect a replacement of equal value.=

This time Todd smiled and nodded in agreement. =Naturally, I would expect nothing less myself.=