Love's Misconstruities
Chapter 17
It was a three-day journey to Suna but Hinata didn't bother pacing herself. Her heart raced but still she pushed on, unable to get there fast enough. Every hour dragged on for what seemed like an eternity. The only way she was able to keep somewhat focused was by practicing what to say when she saw the object of her affection.
She wondered what he would look like, act like…what he would think of her… Would he even accept her apology? What if her feelings were one-sided? Perhaps he was involved with someone else. The thought pained her, but she knew that just because he wasn't with Sakura like she had thought didn't mean he was still single. She was afraid of those possibilities, but she knew that she would never be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try.
'I will set things straight between us. I have to.'
When she reached the giant canyon entrance it was already nightfall of the second day of her trip, putting her half a day ahead of schedule. Upon identifying herself and stating her purpose, she was allowed entrance. By the time she'd made the long journey through the canyon, once she was inside the outskirts of the village, she was met by a young genin.
"You're here to deliver a message from Konoha?" she asked.
"Hai," Hinata replied breathily, eyeing the girl. There was something familiar about her, Hinata thought.
"I can take it," the sand-nin informed, extending a hand.
"Oh, uh… I need to make sure it's delivered to the Kazekage."
"I'll make sure he gets it," the Suna kunoichi assured.
Hinata unconsciously clutched the small pouch which contained the scroll. "No, uh…" she began, but stopped as she finally remembered where she knew this girl from. "You were a student of Gaara-san's, weren't you?"
"Uh….yes. I was his first student at the Academy."
"Your name is Matsuri-san, isn't it? You were kidnapped several years ago."
"…Yeah… How did you know that?"
"I was one of the Konoha reinforcements sent to help on that mission. My name is Hyuuga Hinata."
"Hyuuga Hinata…" the younger girl repeated.
"I…I was once a student of Gaara-san's as well. …I… I'd really like to deliver this personally, Matsuri-san. Onegaishimasu…" she requested, bowing demurely.
"Hinata-san…" Matsuri repeated once more before her eyes grew wide. "Gaara-sama's student from Konoha! Yes, he mentioned you once."
"He did?" Hinata eagerly replied. "Wh-What did he say?"
"Mm…well, Gaara-sama isn't one for long speeches usually, but this was one of the rare times when he actually said more than a few words. If I recall, I believe it was when I told him how proud I was that I had been his first student. He told me that I wasn't exactly his first student…that he'd briefly trained someone else - you - in Konoha. He said that everyone had strength inside of them, but sometimes it just takes someone special to help bring it out and make them realize it. He said he was grateful that he'd had the opportunity to draw it out of you and me."
"He…he really said all that?"
"Well, not word for word, but…something like that."
Hinata felt a familiar heat in her cheeks.
Matsuri seemed deep in thought for a moment before she broke out into a smile. "Since Gaara-sama's return, he's actually been able to sleep through the night so you'll have to wait until morning to deliver the message. I'll take you to one of the guest's quarters."
"H-hai! Arigatou gozaimasu!"
By the time they'd gotten her set up it was quite late, but while she should have been exhausted, Hinata found herself wide awake. She was far too nervous to even think about dozing off, but she did at least try.
The next morning, despite lack of sleep, Hinata was up early and ready to go. She psyched herself up before she left, but as she headed toward the Kazekage's office, she found that her bravery seeped out of her with every step she took. Her legs began to turn to jelly yet still managed to be heavy as lead at the same time. Her stomach seemed to have a swarm of Shino's kikaichuu bugs in it and her head felt ready to float off her neck. She was ready to pass out and she knew it, but she fought it with all her might, finally making her way to his office, scroll clutched tightly in her sweaty hands. The door was wide open and, after a moment, she worked up the courage to poke her head inside.
"P-p-pardon me!" she squeaked. She was both relieved and disappointed to see the room empty. She breathed a sigh of relief and disappointment and turned around, pressing her back to the wall outside the door…only to look up and see two groggy green eyes staring at her from down the hall.
'Ugh… It figures that the first time I oversleep I'd have someone waiting outside…my… Wait. Those clothes, that posture…those eyes… It can't be…'
"G-G-G-G-Gaara-san…" the girl sputtered before collapsing.
The boy, still stunned, watched as she slid limply against the wall to the floor. It took him yet another moment to finally go to her. Hesitantly, he scooped her limp body into his arms and took her to the hospital.
Hinata's eyes slowly opened. It took her a moment to realize that the ceiling above was not a familiar one. Alarmed, she sat up, her heart racing.
"Finally awake, are we?" an older-looking woman called from across the small room where she was tidying up a spare bed.
"Uh, h-hai!... ...Excuse me… Where am I?"
The woman stared at her for a brief second before politely smiling and making her way toward her patient's bed. "You poor thing. You must've been so exhausted. You slept all morning! It's no wonder you're confused," she prattled on. "This is the Suna hospital."
"How… How did I end up here?"
"Kazekage-sama brought you in himself. Said you collapsed right outside his office, of all places!"
Hinata felt her entire face redden as the memory returned. "Gaara-san…" she fondly whispered. "Excuse me, but do you know where the Kazekage would be? I have to deliver a-…!" the girl stopped, gasping and looking around the room frantically.
"What is it, child? Are you in pain?"
"No! The scroll- I had a scroll when I-"
"Oh, that?" the homely nurse chuckled. "You had one clasped tightly in your hand when you were brought in here. Kazekage-sama took it since it was addressed to him."
"He did?!"
"You were delivering it to him, were you not?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then your mission was successful! Once you're feeling better, you can start on your way home," she cheerfully declared.
Hinata felt her heart sink. 'I came all the way here. All this way, and I blew my chance. All I could do was faint! I haven't changed at all…' she internally berated herself. On the outside, she asked, "Did…did the Kazekage… Did he say anything…?"
"Hm? About what?"
"When he…brought me… Did he say anything?"
"No, not particularly. Probably wouldn't have said anything at all had I not asked him what happened to you. He always was a quiet one." Hinata's features sagged as any hope she'd had began to vanish. "But," the older woman began again, salvaging a shred. "He did stare at you for a long while before he left."
"Eh?"
"Yes… Quite intensely, if I might say so. Quite peculiar for him," she noted, deep in contemplation. Hinata began to have hope again but the nurse soon smiled again and shrugged. "He almost seemed angry, but I can't image what you would've done. Probably something in that scroll you delivered."
'The scroll was regarding the Chuunin Exams… There's no reason that could make him angry. No… No, he's upset with me. …It would make sense, after all. He has every right to be… I did greatly insult him during the exams the last time we met. Perhaps… Perhaps I should just return home?' The very thought brought tears to her eyes. 'No, I will not cry anymore! I…I hate being this weak. I hate it!'
"He said that everyone had strength inside them, but sometimes it just takes someone special to help them realize it. …he was grateful that he'd had the opportunity to draw it out of you…"
"Don't be ashamed to look others in the eye. You are strong. Never forget that."
"I won't go back on my words. That is also my way of the ninja!"
The words of Matsuri, Gaara, and even her own rang through her head suddenly, forcing her tears away.
'That's right… I can be stronger than this… Gaara-san and Naruto-kun both showed me that long ago. I can't give up yet… I have to make things right. I can't leave until I've completed my mission,' she resolved. "Arigatou, obaa-san!" she said, springing from the bed and dashing off, leaving the stunned old woman behind.
"Oh, uh, you're welcome... What a strange child..."
Hinata spent the rest of the afternoon frantically searching the large foreign city as she tried to locate her target…who was proving to be quite the difficult person to find, even with her Byakugan. The city was far too busy a place to pinpoint one particular person so she'd have to look the old fashioned way. But he wasn't at his office, nor the Academy, nor anywhere else she would imagine the head of a village might be. Indeed, he was a busy man as she discovered upon beginning to ask around. As soon as she'd found someone who said they'd seen him somewhere not long ago, by the time she arrived where they'd said, he'd have already left and was long gone. After an hour or so more of this, she found the desert heat beginning to effect her. Removing her coat, she stopped inside a small restaurant for a quick dinner and a chance to cool off. As it happened, she was finally in the right place at the right time. Hinata was finishing up her meal when a young shinobi brushed past her. The kunoichi rushed up to the counter as if it were a matter of great urgency.
"Sumimasen!" she shouted, and Hinata couldn't help but watch.
"Yeah, yeah…what's the problem?" a short middle-aged man called as he came out from the kitchen.
"Please, I need a rush order, Izuma-san!"
"What? I'm busy here. You expect me to drop everything just 'cause you're in a hurry?"
"It's not for me, it's for Kazekage-sama. He'd like 'his usual.' He said you'd know what he meant."
"The Kazekage, huh? You know, I never expected him to risk his life like that for the village. Not that kid. Heh. Sure surprised me. Ah, if it's for him I'll get right on it."
"Thank you!"
"Yeah, yeah… Least I could do," the man acknowledged, turning his back and disappearing into the kitchen.
"Matsuri-san?" Hinata called to the anxious girl as she waited.
"Hinata-san, hey! How are you? Did you deliver that scroll yet?"
"Uh…well, yes…I suppose."
"Did you get to talk long with Gaara-sama?"
"Eh? Uh…no, not at all."
"Really? Hm…well, he has been busy today. Hey, maybe that's why he's in a bad mood! He didn't get to talk to you earlier!"
"No, I don't think-"
"I know! I'm going to be taking him his dinner after this. Why don't you come with me? He's in a council meeting right now but he said he would be done shortly. I'm sure he'll cheer up once he sees you...and once he gets food in his belly."
"Eh…uh…" Hinata was nervous but realized that this could be her big chance. "Yes, please. Thank you, Matsuri-san."
"Don't mention it!"
When the order was ready the two girls hurried over to the conference room where the council was just adjourning their meeting. Gaara was the first to exit and Matsuri was quick to catch him at the door, bag of take-out in hand.
"Gaara-sama, here you go. It should still be hot. Make sure to eat it soon. Oh, and the chef sends his regards."
"Thank you, Matsuri," came his simple reply. He turned toward her to take it, and as he did he noticed another familiar face lurking further down the hall. He stopped suddenly, hand half-way extended toward his food as he took in the sight. True, he had seen her only hours before, but she'd had her coat on then. Indeed, her hair wasn't the only thing that had grown since the last time he'd seen her.
Catching the look on her leader's face, Matsuri grinned and said, "I'll leave you two to catch up on things," as she handed her awe-struck leader his food and dashed off.
Another councilman exited then, accidentally bumping into Gaara.
"Oh, excuse me, Kazekage-sama," he apologized, bowing and continuing on.
This snapped Gaara back into reality, however, and a frown replaced the surprise on his face. 'She's doing that on purpose, isn't she? Trying to bait me, just like all the other girls… How foolish. She's just like the rest of them…'
"G-Gaara-san," Hinata finally stuttered, still maintaining her distance. "I…I'm sorry…for the trouble I caused you earlier. It…it's just that…I was… I've just been…" Hinata paused, searching for the right words, her blush readily turning darker. Still, she pressed forward, giving it her best and forced herself to look him in the eye. "I...I missed you…Gaara…"
His eyes grew wide with surprise but were quickly replaced with anger. "I am Sunagakure's Kazekage. You have no right to address me so informally," he declared. "You came to deliver that scroll, did you not?" Hinata, having been rendered speechless, merely nodded her head, her eyes wide with shock. "Then your business here is done. Return to Konoha immediately. You are no longer welcome here."
His words may as well have been daggers, for they pierced her heart all the same. He glared at her a second longer, then turned to leave, hoping the crowd of his peers who stood staring would soon do the same.
'He…he couldn't have really meant that… I know he's upset, but that wasn't the Gaara that I know. Maybe… Maybe he's acting that way because those other people are around. That must be it, right? …It…It has to be. I won't give up yet! …I just can't…'