Love's Misconstruities
Chapter 21
The evening breeze was beginning to turn into the colder chill of night, but Hinata did not feel it. She could barely even taste her dinner as she sat at Ichiraku picking at her noodle dish, completely lost in thought.
'I knew that this might happen, after all… And even if he didn't throw me out…even if he did agree to my marrying Gaara…I would have left anyway, so…why should this bother me? I've never wanted to be his successor… I just… I just…wanted him to…to…accept me…to be proud of me…' she admitted to herself, biting her lip in effort not to start crying. It had taken long enough to stop the last time and she refused to start again, especially now that she was in public. 'But that was a lofty goal, wasn't it?'
"Hey, if it isn't Hinata!"
'I could never be the daughter that he wanted…'
"...Oy, Hinata…"
'I'm weak and pathetic and-'
"Hinata?" So startled was she at the hand suddenly touching her shoulder that she fell from her stool with a shriek, taking her bowl of ramen with her. "Hinata! …ehh… Are you okay?"
"N-N-Naruto-kun!" she acknowledged to the concerned boy kneeling beside her.
"Are you okay?" he repeated. "You're not burnt, are you?" asked the boy, gesturing to Hinata's ramen-covered jacket and pants with his left hand. His right, Hinata noticed, was heavily bandaged and in a sling.
"Oh, Naruto-kun, you're injured!"
"Oh, eh, this? Ha! This is nothing. You should've seen the other guy," Naruto snickered. "So you're okay then? No burns or anything?" he repeated, turning the attention back to her.
"Eh? Uh…n-no… It was…already getting cold…" she explained half-heartedly as she sat up and began to pick off the stringy noodles from her attire. 'Great…now I have to go back home and get some clean-' She paused mid-motion as she realized that such an option was no longer open to her. Her gaze dropped as she sat helpless on the floor. She didn't notice the shopkeeper and the blonde exchanging looks of concern and whispering a few words to each other…her mind was locked away in self-pity. The only thing that brought her attention back to the here-and-now was Naruto taking her hand in his. The young girl abruptly looked up, shocked at the physical contact, but strangely enough, a blush didn't even grace her cheeks. Naruto grinned at her as he stood and gently tugged at her arm, urging her to do the same. She did so, but dropped her gaze once again.
"Uh…if you'd like, I'll buy you another bowl," the boy offered.
Hinata forced a weak smile, but declined the offer. "It's okay…I'm not hungry. I… I have to go somewhere anyway…"
"What, right now? Where?"
"To, uh…get changed," she lied, her voice trembling as she turned to leave. "Thank you for the offer, Naruto-kun. You're...really...too kind. Now, if you'll excuse me," she said, bowing and beginning to walk past him. Feeling that she was losing her battle against her tears, she lowered her head, but not quickly enough to hide it.
"Wait, Hinata," But she didn't. Instead, she quickened her pace, maneuvering aimlessly through the thinning crowds of the village until, at last, she found herself alone in a darkened dead-end ally where she finally allowed herself to collapse against a brick wall as she wept once again.
'Why… Why can't I be stronger? Why can't I stop these outbursts? I even made a fool of myself in front of Naruto-kun…'
"Um….you know…" came a voice from above her. Hinata jumped once again as she looked up through blurred vision at the blonde boy who stood sideways on the building above her. "I know it's none of my business and all, but…if whatever's bothering you is bad enough that you'd forget to pay for your ramen, then…maybe you should talk to someone about it."
"Oh, no! I have to-"
"It's okay, it's okay. I took care of it. But you owe me a bowl next time, okay?"
Hinata wiped the tears from her face before slowly nodding. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Naruto-kun… I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you."
Naruto jumped from the wall and landed crouched before his kunoichi comrade, staring at her intently as if trying to figure out what to make of her. Hinata shied away from his gaze, finally resorting to burying her head against her knees which she had pulled up to her chest. "Hm…you've always been weird, Hinata…but not like this. What's wrong? Has someone been bullying you? No, that can't be… Heh, you'd kick their ass. Hm…then…did you get in a fight with your teammates? Did that creepy Shino guy say something bad to you?" She shook her head slowly, sniffling. "Did Kiba do something?" Again, she shook her head. "…hm…Neji, then?"
"No, Neji-nii-san has nothing to do with this."
"Ah, then it's romantic problems, huh?" he guessed, finally earning him a startled gaze. "Bingo. Wanna talk about it?"
"It wouldn't change anything," the girl despaired.
"No, but… Eh…well, who is this guy, anyway?"
"It doesn't matter."
"What doesn't matter?" Naruto said, slowly trying to coax the truth out of her.
"…It's okay, nothing happened between us."
"So then why are you upset? Isn't it because of him?"
"It's not his fault."
"Whose?"
"Gaar-" Hinata abruptly stopped mid-word as she realized she'd fallen into his trap.
"Gaar…?" Naruto repeated, urging her to continue. Hinata only looked away. "Gaar…something, huh?" he said once again. "'Ru?' 'Ri?' 'Gaa-ri?' No? 'Ra?' 'Gaa-ra-something,' then? Wait…'Gaara'… …EHH?! Gaara?! Sunagakure's Kazekage? That Gaara?!" When Hinata didn't dispute it, Naruto laughed heartily. "Really?! Ha ha, that's great!! He never told me that!... Eh, then again, he doesn't really say a whole lot to anyone… He's like you when it comes to that." Hinata had tried to shrink as far into the wall as was humanly possible. Her former crush was the last person that she'd imagined discussing these kinds of problems with. "So, what's up? If he's not the problem, then…"
"Naruto-kun…it's okay, really," she reassured, wiping at her drying tears.
"Alright, alright, I understand," he relinquished, finally standing and giving her some space. Offering her his hand once more he said, "Well, why don't you go home and get changed then. It won't do you any good to be wearing wet clothes all night." Hinata, who had begun to reach for his hand, halted mid-motion at his statement. Her eyes once again glossed over as her lip twitched. "Eh? What? Did I say something wrong?"
"…Gomen… Gomen, Naruto-kun…"
"Don't apologize. Just tell me what I said wrong so I can fix it."
"It's nothing you can fix," she sobbed.
At this, Naruto was stumped. He felt uncomfortable as hell standing above the distraught girl, feeling as helpless as she. But it would be wrong to leave her here like this and he knew it. Deciding to make himself more comfortable, he took a seat beside the girl and waited since it was the only thing he could do.
"…I…I can't go home…" came the smallest of whispers after several long silent minutes.
"Huh?"
"…I told my father of my intentions to marry Gaara and he disowned me."
"M-marry?! Whoa…so it's that serious, huh? Oh, eh, but...shouldn't your father be happy for you? I mean, you're his daughter, right?"
"He had planned on me wedding someone else - within the clan…not from another village."
"Huh? Oh…yeah, you Hyuugas are weird like that, aren't you," Naruto recalled. "So…you don't have another change of clothes? Or a place to sleep tonight?" he asked, focusing on the problems which he at least had a chance of helping with. The young girl shook her head. "Then come on. You can stay at my place tonight. You can wash your clothes there. I've got some extra ones you can wear until yours are dry, okay?"
"Eh?! N-Naruto-kun, no, I...I couldn't-"
"It's okay, it's okay! I promise, nothing funny! I'd never dishonor Gaara's future wife! You're my friend, and Gaara is too so it's my duty to help. Now come on, you'll catch a cold if you stay out here any longer," he finished, grabbing her hand and pulling her along.
It had been a long night, and by the time they'd gotten Hinata changed, washed her clothes, and hung them out to dry, they were both quite ready for sleep. But before they did, Hinata just had to get something off her chest.
'If I don't say this now, I never will…and he deserves to know. I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to tell him again,' she resolved. "Naruto-kun… For tonight, I give you my thanks," she declared, bowing.
"Oh, eh…really, it's no problem. No need to be so formal, Hinata. We're friends, after all."
To this, Hinata managed a small smile. "You've always done so much for me, Naruto-kun…"
"Eh?" Naruto questioned as he finished making up his bed and threw a few spare blankets on the floor next to it. "Oy, everything is a pain with only one good arm," he muttered under his breath.
"You may not know this, but I used to look up to you a lot… I still do, I suppose." Naruto turned to face his guest, a confused expression coating his face. He watched as she fidgeted with her hands and seemed to refuse to look anywhere near him, but still, she pressed on. "You were always so strong…so adamant about following your way of the ninja. You have a goal that you are pursuing and you won't let anyone stand in your way or tell you that you can't do it."
"Hinata,-"
"I, on the other hand, was always told that my fate had been decided from the moment I was conceived. I tried to go along with it but it wasn't what I wanted. It still isn't." Hinata paused as a sad grin lifted the corners of her lips. "Even if I did want it, I could never become the person that my family needs me to be. But I did try… I tried so hard for all of these years to become stronger, to not let my family, my team, or Konoha down… I was able to do that partly because of you, Naruto-kun," she explained, tears beginning to fall down her pale cheeks. "Seeing you rise from being worst in our class to what you are today…seeing your determination and strength…it gave me hope. I really admire you, Naruto-kun."
"Hinata…?"
"And, so, I just wanted to thank you. I'm sorry, I've just…wanted to say those things to you for so long… I'm sorry to have troubled you."
The blonde watched the shorter girl before him, utterly baffled. She wiped at her eyes using the cuffs of his old jacket which she wore. He'd given it to her for modesty's sake. His spare pants had fit her well enough, though they were too long and a bit tight in the hips. The shirt, which fit him just fine, had definitely not been designed with a woman's bust in mind. When he'd first seen her after she'd changed, he'd caught himself staring at the shapely woman she'd become. But Naruto, determined not to wind up as perverted as his teachers, had dug through his closet until he found his old and tattered orange jacket. Though it wasn't much, Hinata took it and thanked him, tenderly putting it on as if this worn relic from his past were the most precious of garments she had ever worn.
"I know it sounds strange, but if you hadn't gotten drunk a few years ago and created all your clones that terrorized the village…I never would have gotten to know Gaara. So, I should thank you for that as well."
"Uh…yeah…"
Hinata finally worked up the courage to look at him and almost chuckled at what she saw, but she managed to confine her laughter into a small grin. "The way you're looking at me… You must think that I'm crazy."
"Well… I always thought you were a strange one, Hinata," he admitted, a smile growing on his own lips as well. "But people like you don't deserve to be so sad. I guess I'm glad if I was able to help you become stronger, and even meet Gaara…though I wouldn't go as far as thanking me for trashing the village…" he added in a quieter voice before speaking up again. "But, you know? That just proves what a great guy Gaara is! Did you know that he paid back all the tabs that my clones ran up that night? Whew! When I got the bill from Oba-san I almost passed out! He really saved me there!" he chuckled. "You know, I'm really glad that he was able to wind up with someone as nice as you. He had such a crappy life before…he really deserves some happiness. It's really awesome. Everything's finally coming together for him. I'm really glad," Naruto admitted as he knelt down to straighten the blankets some more. Though Hinata could hear the sincerity in his voice, she also recognized the faint tinge of envy.
"And someday, the same will happen for you," she declared with confidence, earning her Naruto's attention again. "I know it's your dream to become Hokage…and if you keep going down this path that you're on, I just know that it'll come true eventually, Naruto-kun. And…as for Sakura-chan…" she added, noticing that Naruto's eyes widened at the mention of the medic's name. "I can only hope that she'll realize that while you both chase after Sasuke-san, it's you that is by her side…that it's you who is always, and always has been, there for her. She's a lucky girl to be loved by you. I think that someday she'll understand that."
"Hinata… I, um…" Naruto began, fiddling again with the blankets. "…Thanks."
The rest of the night had been uneventful. After Hinata had volunteered to help the struggling boy straighten the make-shift futon, he had insisted that she sleep in his bed for the night while he took to the floor. After some pointless arguing, Naruto finally convinced her that it was okay and he didn't mind. Soon after, the two fell fast asleep. The next morning Hinata's clothes were still a bit damp, but it was tolerable and she changed back into them, thanking Naruto once again before taking her leave. Naruto then decided to write a short letter and took it to be sent before carrying on with his day.
"Yes, Hinata, what is it?" Tsunade asked upon the girl's entrance into her office.
"I, uh…I wanted to request…um…" the girl stumbled, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted.
"Does this have something to do with the talk we had about a week ago?" the impatient Hokage asked.
"Uh…hai."
"Are you trying to request permission to leave Konoha and go to Sunagakure?"
"…Hai…"
"Permission denied!"
"Eh? But, Hokage-sama-"
"There are some important matters currently going on and I can't afford to lose a shinobi with your abilities right now. …When this is over and things calm down we can discuss this further, but right now the answer is no."
Hinata nodded, taking in her leader's words. "Hai! …What are these new-"
"It's classified…but soon enough, I think it'll be time to let Team 8 in on the action. For now, rest up while you can. You are dismissed."
"H-hai," the younger girl said, starting to rush off.
"Hinata," called the older woman, causing Hinata to halt and turn back around. In an instant, her reflexes worked their magic and she caught the odd projectile which was hurled toward her. Opening her fist, she found a small silver key.
Hinata raised an eyebrow. "How did you-"
"I'm the Hokage," was her explanation, and Hinata just nodded in acceptance.
"Arigatou," came her response as she bowed before going to check out her new living quarters.
Translations/Term Definitions...in no particular order:
- ...Just an author's note, really, I suppose... In Japanese, as opposed to English, instead of having 26 letters of the alphabet, they have many different kana characters (or combinations of kana characters) which make out a single syllable. So, when Naruto is trying to guess the name of Hinata's mystery-man, it's really not that hard since he heard the first part of the syllable, "r." Naturally then, there would only be 8 possibilities in the Japanese language to complete this syllable: "ra," "ri," "ru," "re," and "ro," "rya," "ryu," and "ryo." Anyway, just thought that I would make this point clear in case it seemed unrealistic that Naruto would guess "ra" so quickly and realize that the name was just "Gaara" and relate that to the one and only "Gaara" that he knows. :p I have a lot of trouble writing the spastic blonde so I stress about the realism of his character, or just the story in general...if you couldn't already tell by this note.