Maybe if Tony wasn't looking so hard, it wouldn't seem like Gibbs was acting any differently. He acted the same as he always had at work- maybe. Perhaps Tony didn't get as many head slaps. Perhaps he immersed himself into the cases a little more (and who knew that was possible?). Perhaps he was sending Tony from the office and asking McGee and Ziva for reports more. But would any of this have stood out if Tony wasn't scrutinizing his boss for signs of avoidance?

It was almost funny that Gibbs at the same time was noticing a similar constraint. Perhaps Tony was volunteering for more assignments off base. Perhaps he was a little quieter around him. Perhaps he spent more time with Abby and Ducky. Perhaps he was bugging McGee and Ziva a little more. But the question was—why? Did Tony feel awkward about Gibbs having left? Or did he regret the kiss in the first place?

Gibbs didn't even want to consider the why himself. Why did he step away? Because he's straight and hadn't wanted to kiss another man? Sitting along on his couch a week later, his familiar bottle of Johnny Walker beside him, he admitted that might not be the reason. Sure Gibbs had been married four times and sure he had been very attached to Jenny at one time. Lately, however, he had been looking at the younger agent in a different light- a light that seemed to make his hair shine a little more and shadowed his eyes a more intense green and made every move of his hands or his body a little more graceful and surprising. A surprise, he called the kiss, but he had not called it unpleasant or weird. Shaking his head to clear it and taking another swig from the bottle, he left the couch to go lay down in bed. Once there, he fell into a deep sleep, helped along by the alcohol. He later tried to blame the alcohol on the dream that followed.

He and Dinozzo were sitting on his back porch, watching the backyard. A child ran around, kicking a soccer ball. Gibbs reached up to rub the back of Tony's stiff neck when the girl ran up to him. "Daddy, did you see me?" Something was wrong; he was looking into Kelly's face. "Jethro, who is this? This is not our daughter!" Gibbs felt the muscles in the neck tense and slide away as Tony leaned away from Gibbs and his daughter. "What happened to my daughter? I do not want a replacement!" Gibbs was still looking at Kelly's blue eyes when he heard the screen door slam shut.

Gibbs woke with a start. What the hell? He staggered into the bathroom to take two ibuprofens and down them with a glass of cold water. Looking into the mirror, he also splashed his face to wash the sweat off of it. He patted his face dry and laid back down in his bed. This time, he knew sleep would not come easily. He glanced at the clock- 3:56. A small, low groan escaped his lips. His first wife after Shannon was very superstitious and often consulted dream-readers and fortune-tellers. She always told him that dreams may be a product of your imagination, but are always based on a subconscious feeling or anxiety.

Tony. That's who the dream had been about. Tony and Kelly, existing together? Perhaps it was that discontinuity that the small voice had been whispering about when Tony kissed him. Gibbs admitted to himself that for the first few seconds, he enjoyed feeling lips on his, lips firmer than he was used to. He also admitted that he felt a little guilty about getting into a relationship with Tony while Tony did not know that Gibbs had had a daughter before. He had avoided having kids with this other wives because he already regretted giving them pieces of himself. He would have regretted it even more if there had been a child who would have to measure up to Kelly. Even his wives were always being compared to Shannon, though he tried not to think of her. With Tony, however, came his daughter. Who knows, maybe she'd be a red head or have blue eyes. Gibbs would suffer in silence about spending so much time with a baby, toddler, young girl and it not being Kelly. Was it worth that? He enjoyed the times when a child had to stay with the team, like when they were trying to find Zach's father. In fact, he sanded the boat with young Zach just as he had done with Kelly. He had compared them then and his heart had hurt. On the other hand there was Tony.

Gibbs rolled onto his side, uncomfortable and too awake for the time of night. Once as comfortable as he could be, he returned to his train of thought which might as well have been a train for the connected images rolling through his head. A careless smile from an officer in Baltimore. A cocky swagger. A pale face with blue lips lying under harsh lights. A new agent hanging on Gibbs' every word and trying not to show it. Paper airplanes soaring through the bullpen towards McGee. A worn down man in an orange jumpsuit. The eager face ready on his first day back from sick leave. A blood-spattered face in shock on a roof. A hunched back having retreated from an empty baby room. Thin fingers grazing the fabrics of baby blankets. Green eyes boring into blue as they came nearer and nearer…

He jumped from the bed and spent the rest of his night throwing all his energy into the woodwork in the basement.

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On Sunday afternoon, Gibbs sat in a Georgetown bar, having downed two stiff shots to ease his courage along. Thus fortified, he drove to Tony's apartment and knocked upon reaching his door. Tony opened it. "Boss?" he asked, confused at seeing Gibbs there. Right now Gibbs was the last person he expected to find on his doorstep. Well, last after Jane Fonda and Tom Selleck.

"Yeah, Dinozzo, it's me. Can I come in or am I stuck in the hallway again?"

Tony looked very uncertain and awkward as he looked everywhere but at his face and began babbling. "Well the case is closed and you would have called if you needed anything. No places for shopping are open and I don't know why else you'd be here. I'm sorry about that night; forget it ever happened. I was lonely or something and took it out on you; didn't mean anything by it."

Gibbs heart seemed to sink and his fortitude was a little bit more daunted. The hurt in Tony's eyes seemed to say something different from his words, so Gibbs used that to press on. "Do you want to know why I stopped kissing you, Tony?"