VG Anime Cartoon Battles Chapter 5: Revenge of the Chef: Chris vs Chef
I do not own any of the characters except the TDI version of me, Paulghost (Based off one of my friends, Paulinaghost) and my OCs. Enjoy, though! Rated M for major violence AND language! Remember, this show is completely fictitious and OCs stand for Original Characters, as in unreal cartoon and reality characters. This also has action, adventure, humor and drama put into the mix.
However, this might be a funny fight to watch! So enjoy this show and eat lots of popcorn!
(Cue the theme Song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...
You guys are on my mind...
You ask me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer's plain to see...
I wanna fight and be...FAMOUS...
I wanna live close to the sun...
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already fought...
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...
I'll get there one dayyy...
'Cause I wanna fight and be famous!
Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...
Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight and be famous!
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight and be famous!
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo!
(End theme song)
(We cut back to the VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles stadium. The UFC tale of the tape music plays in the background. I stand in the middle of the arena with nobody else there)
LordryuTJ: Hello, you have just gotten the power to stay up and watch this show! And welcome to another experienced day on VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles! Today, Paulghost will press the button to get two people to pit against each other in a fight to the death! Paulghost?
Paulghost: You got it, LordryuTJ, my man! (Presses the button. Then, names of fighters pop in and out of the screen quickly. A few seconds pass by and the names Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet stop dashing around and land in the middle of the screen) The match is going to be Chris Maclean vs. Chef Hatchet!
LordryuTJ: Ooh! A cool friendship from Total Drama Island, broken up in a brutal and epic fight to the death! Then it is settled! Chris Maclean, the gracious host of the Total Drama Island series and the Total Cartoon Island series, will go against Chef Hatchet, Chris Maclean's friend and such a nuisance of a chef on Total Drama Island in a epic, old battle to the death!
(The tale of the tape music plays again and it shows a parody of the UFC tale of the tape with Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet there on it) It's our tale of the tape for this exciting matchup! And now, with the official introductions of the fighters, here is Bruce Buffer! (From UFC)
Bruce B.: Ladies and gentlemen, hello and get ready for a great and exciting match here! And iiiiiiiiiiiit's time!!! Introducing first, at my left, a large African-American man weighting in 200 pounds, makes very horrible food on the Total Drama Island and Total Cartoon Island series, friend and butt buddy to Chris Maclean, Chef "Master Chief" Hatchet! And now, the—oh, screw it. Chris Maclean! And when all of the very epic and gory action begins, blah, blah, blah, Redspiderman is right over there. Blah, blah.
Chris Maclean's weapon of choice: His novel, Days on Total Drama Island.
Chef Hatchet's weapon of choice: A meat cleaver.
Redspiderman: Are you ready to fight? Are you ready? Alright, let's go! (Chris and Chef walk up to each other, then realize they are friends)
Chef: Wait, I don't want to cleave Chris!
Chris M.: But we don't want to fight each other with a knife or a novel!
LordryuTJ: Hey! I paid some really big money for this! Now fight!\
Chef: But we are friends sometimes!
LordryuTJ: I said fight or I'm getting Total Drama Island canceled!
Chef: Okay. (Chef pretend-kicks Chris in the shin)
Chris M.: (Sarcastically) Ow. My shin. Ow, it hurts. (Falls to the ground)
Chef: (Sarcastically talking and fakely stomping on Chris) And take that. And that. (Chris gets up. The crowd boos in disappointment and I get pretty mad. I get as mad as a bull getting very, very angry while taking a prostate exam, which involves a finger and the anus)
LordryuTJ: Okay, that is about it! They need to fight for real, and I am making that happen! (A long strip of rope is lowered down to me by Paulghost) Thanks, Paulghost!
Paulghost: Don't mention it, LordryuTJ!
LordryuTJ: (I pull on the rope, and hard) How about you eat some slime?! (Some slime lands on the arena and on those two stupid, lazy, best-friend, butt buddy (I got it from a South Park episode), under-heatin', pie-makin', pukin', drinkin', fake-fighting retards that are known as Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet)
Chris M.: Ew! What the?! Is this lime?! Why is there slime on the arena and on us?!
LordryuTJ: Oh, and slime landed on Chris Maclean and Chef Hatchet! And maybe even some of the people out there in the crowd here tonight watching this very awesome, somewhat gory and very, very epic fight to the death!!!! Isn't this fun?!
Chef: Hey! I can't see anything! Why can't I see anything?! Did you do this, Chris?!
Chris M.: Oh, that is it! It's go time, dude! (The two start fighting each other for real this time) Take that! (Cleaves Chris in the head with the meat cleaver's sharp blade, causing some head blood to slowly ooze out of his head)
Chris M.: (Groans and stirs, then hits Chef in the face with his novel. The crowd cheers loudly)
LordryuTJ: And the crowd is going nuts for this kind of fighting!
Chef: Grr! (Kicks Chris in the shin and stabs him in the gut with the meat cleaver)
Chris M.: Hey! Take that! (Throws a barrel that came out of nowhere at Chef Hatchet and knocks him down into some slime)
LordryuTJ: Where did that barrel come from?! (Sees Donkey Kong in the crowd, hooting and throwing barrels down to the arena)
Chef: A barrel, Chris?
Chris M.: Hurts, doesn't it?
Chef: You tell me! (Gets up, punches Chris in the face and gives him (Chris Maclean) a bloody nose)
Chris M.: That is it! (Pulls out a green rocket launcher from the slime) Oh, sweet! I love fighting!
LordryuTJ: Ooh! Some epic and awesome action! And one thing: Where did Chris Maclean get that rocket launcher?! Did he buy it from somewhere, steal it from somebody or was it on the arena when the slime happened? Oh, wait! Some weapons were covered (Chris fires the rocket at Chef Hatchet, but to no avail, misses. The rocket hits the laughing Homer Simpson and blows him up on impact in a gory, epic fashion) Don't worry, the chip is unbreakable and explosion proof and will take 30 minutes to revive Homer Simpson.
Chris M.: Damn it! I missed Chef! (Chef Hatchet comes at Chris Maclean and slices out his guts, intestines and liver with the blood-covered meat cleaver. Chris Maclean falls over, barfs out blood for 5 seconds and dies, making Chef Hatchet the winner of the fight to the death. I barf into my barf bag)
LordryuTJ: Wow! That was bloody, gory, chunky, awesome and epic at the same time!
Redspiderman: And the winner of the fight to the death is Chef "Master Chief" Hatchet!
LordryuTJ: Chef "Master Chief" Hatchet is the winner of this fight to the death! Okay, and you can watch more next time! So thanks for watching, good night and suck some really, really, really hairy, juicy, big balls!
(Then it cuts to a preview of later and previous fights)
LordryuTJ: You can see and read more VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles fights at , where you can read over a million stories and make your own if you have a account there! Unleash your totally inner imagination here!!!
(End chapter 5)