VG Anime Cartoon Battles Chapter 7: Claw Plaque: Fry vs. Zoidberg
I do not own any of the characters except the TDI version of me, Paulghost (Based off one of my friends, Paulinaghost) and my OCs. Enjoy, though! Rated M for major violence AND language! Remember, this show is completely fictitious and OCs stand for Original Characters, as in unreal cartoon and reality characters. This also has action, adventure, humor and drama put into the mix.
Remember, bring lots and lots and lots of popcorn so you can eat and watch at the same time. 011010100001110011000000111111110000010101010101001010100010100010101001101010100101-12120292944283894934959339 = 0.
Also, there are references to episode 5 of VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles: Chris "So Lonely" Maclean vs. Chef "Master Chief" Hatchet. Enjoy!
(It shows a UFC "coming up next" parody with Fry and Zoidberg)
LordryuTJ: Coming up next is the classic Claw Plaque match up: Fry vs. Zoidberg! See ya in a few minutes! Ladders! And now here is a word from our sponsor, Old Spice, mentioning !
(We cut to a bedroom. Phineas, Duncan, Owen, Homer, Mung, Schnitzel and Courtney are there. Duncan and Courtney are making out on the bed. Schnitzel is sweeping the floor. Mung is cooking spaghetti. Homer is drinking Buzz Cola. Owen is eating tacos. Phineas is sitting on a chair)
Owen: I hope nothing happens to all of us.
(Peter Griffin kicks the door in, wearing a backpack fulla guns and knives and holding a minigun in his hand)
Peter: Freeze, bitches! (Mung gasps. Peter shoots Mung to pieces with the minigun) Shotgun! (He shoots Owen's head off his neck and rips Homer right in two)
Phineas: Oh my god!
(Peter quickly slits Courtney's throat and rips Duncan's torso right off his legs and shoots his head off. He kicks Phineas in the nuts, slits his throat and shoots Schnitzel's head off)
Peter: Residue is evil DOT com! (He cocks his shotgun and kisses it)
This was from Toonville in the Making.
(Theme Song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...
You guys are on my mind...
You ask me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer's plain to see...
I wanna fight and be...FAMOUS...
I wanna live close to the sun...
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already fought...
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...
I'll get there one dayyy...
'Cause I wanna fight and be famous!
Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...
Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight and be famous!
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight...
I wanna fight and be famous!
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo!
(End theme song)
(We cut to the VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles stadium. I am sitting in my lawn chair/throne of hosts)
LordryuTJ: Welcome to another battle on VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles! Today, it's Philip J. Fry going up against John "Bobcat" Zoidberg, both from Futurama, in a classic Claw Plaque, which, of course, is a fight to the death! (The UFC tale of the tape parody appears on screen with Philip J. Fry and John Zoidberg on it) Our tale of the tape for this classic Claw Plaque fight to the death! And now with the offical introductions, me! Introducing first is a lazy teen who drinks a lot of slurm, Philip J. Fry! And now, fighting Philip J. Fry is a wanna-be comedian and experienced fighter, John "Bobcat" Zoidberg! And when the action begins, Redspiderman will be there for it!
Fry's weapon of choice: A giant nutcracker and some other kinds of stuff Fry had found.
Zoidberg's weapon of choice: His claws.
Redspiderman: Are you ready to fight? Are you ready to fight? Alright, let's go! (The fight starts. Fry swings his giant nutcracker around like a nunchaku, then throws it at Zoidberg like a boomerang)
Zoidberg: Why you…! (Punches Fry in the face. Fry pulls out a slightly teeny tiny spider. Zoidberg screams as the spider tip-toes closer to him. Zoidberg stomps on the spider. Zoidberg does a sharp whistle and a greatly spacious spider falls from the sky, roaring at Fry)
Fry: Aah!! (Thinks for a few seconds, then gets an idea. He pulls out a enormous chainsaw and slices the very colossal spider's vast head right off. Zoidberg gasps)
Zoidberg: Spinderboy! Oh, no! He sniped off your giant head, didn't he? (Then, Fry inspects his massive nutcracker in the clutches of Peter Griffin. Fry walks over to Peter and punches his lights out, taking his nutcracker with him)
Zoidberg: Ha-ha! (Zoidberg pulls out a golf club and strikes Fry in the face with it. Fry snorts and spits on the ground, then swings his nutcracker at Zoidberg and smacks him in the face) Ow! (Zoidberg gets mad and throws his golf club at Fry, striking him in the groin)
Fry: Ow!
Zoidberg: Ha! Take that, you jerk! (Throws a skimpy wrench at Fry and hits him) Like the taste of red paint, eh? Well, we'll see about that! (Pulls out the huge rocket launcher that Chris Maclean used to shoot in episode 5: Chris vs. Chef but painted black instead of green and shoots it at Fry. Fry dodges it. Homer quickly ducks for cover because he was going to get blown up again, but it actually hits Brian Griffin, who is two rows higher than him, instead of him, blowing up like Homer did in episode 5) Oh, damn it! (Shakes the rocket launcher, but sees that one of the rockets are still there) Oh. Look at that. (Snips the rocket in half, but it blows Zoidberg's right arm up. Zoidberg screams, but Redspiderman blows the whistle, ending round 1)
Redspiderman: Round one is over! (An ambulance comes to the ring and some medics pull Zoidberg into the ambulance)
LordryuTJ: Round 2 will start in 30 minutes or so! See ya then!
(30 minutes later, Zoidberg comes back for round 2 with a full body. Fry is still in the VGACB fighting ring, tapping his foot. Redspiderman is also there, still refereeing)
Fry: It's about time you came back!
Redspiderman: The round already started!
Zoidberg: Yes, but I've got something coming to you! (A car breaks into the stadium. In it are Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin and Homer Simpson, who are holding bats. They run over Fry and dismember him)
LordryuTJ: Oh my god! It is all over! How the hell did that happen?!
Redspiderman: The winner is… John Zoidberg! Thanks to Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin and Homer Simpson for killing Philip J. Fry for him!
LordryuTJ: See ya next time when we get Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Phineas & Ferb to fight Reuben from Chowder! At ease!
(Then it cuts to a preview of later and previous fights)
LordryuTJ: You can see and read more VG-Anime-Cartoon Battles fights at , where you can read over a million stories and make your own if you have a account there! Unleash your totally inner imagination here!!!
(End chapter 7)