Hmmm, next chapter. Stuff happens. I still don't own anyone.
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Dib arrived at Zim's base panting and clutching a stitch in his side. He would have thought after years of this sort of thing he'd be able to run more than a few blocks without getting winded.
He was distracted out of his revelry by screams coming from just inside Zim's base. The door swung open and the little alien was hurled into the yard where, much to Dib's surprise, the gnomes immediately pounced.
They dragged the kicking and screaming Zim to the edge of the yard and deposited him onto the sidewalk with little grace. He didn't seem to have noticed Dib and instead hurled insults at his base, the computer, and Gir.
Dib, with a wicked grin, chose that very fine opportunity to attack. Zim's spider legs reacted a split second before the rest of him and neatly pinned Dib to the ground where Zim wrenched the cuffs out of his hands. Shoving Dib around to plant his face in the side walk, Zim put the cuffs around their owners wrists.
"Dib-thing." He hissed menacingly. "I should have known. Zim will have to deal with you later"
Dib struggled fruitlessly to escape. "What are you going to do now, Alien boy!? I notice you're not wearing your disguise!"
Zim hissed in annoyance. He could not return to the base because the security program had stopped recognizing him. He began pushing Dib through the streets, crouching behind him to keep hidden. All the while Dib called out to passers-by.
"HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, DON'T YOU SEE HIM!?" Finally he caught the attention of a woman pushing a baby's stroller.
"Who?" She asked stupidly. She shuffled a bit to the side to see behind him and Zim forcibly shoved Dib around, using him as shield.
"Well! I can't very well look behind you if you keep moving like that!" and without another word she stormed off in a huff, leaving Dib shrieking behind her.
"I DIDN'T DO THAT, DON'T YOU SEE HIM!?" but it was no use. The stupidity of the average person was too much to overcome once again.
"Shut up and get moving, Stink-pig." Zim grumbled, and jabbed him in the back to prod him along.
"GAZ. GAZ LOOK UP YOU'LL SEE HIM WITHOUT HIS DISGUISE!" Zim calmly shoved Dib up the stairs to his bedroom and Gaz threatened to electrocute him with his own toothbrush if he and his little friend didn't keep it down.
Depositing Dib on the bed Zim proceeded to ransack his arch enemies room. Dib cringed when his computer and its connection to the camera spying on Zim's base was discovered. With a derisive snort Zim made a note to destroy the camera when he is finally able to return to his base and otherwise ignored it. He began using Dib's own supplies to attempt to break back into his own base.
Dib remained on the bed, struggling futilely. After a while he wore himself out and laid upside down, glaring at Zim and trying not to pant. "Why'd your base reject you, alien?"
"It is none of your big head's concern." Zim grumbled in reply, clicking away at Dib's computer. Dib glowered. He had finally grown into his head and did not appreciate the reference. He squinted at the alien, something was... off.
"You look different." At this, Zim surprised him with a devious grin and stood up. It was almost as if he was growing right in front of Dib's eyes. Strolling over to the bed Zim planted a hand to either side of Dib's head and leaned over it.
"I look... taller?" With a slightly hysterical laugh Zim returned to the computer to work. He was once again interrupted, this time by Gaz's voice floating up the stairs.
"Pizza's here! If you take the last piece I will PERSONALLY dismember both of you with a blunt spork!"
At this, Dib's stomach grumbled so loudly Zim's antenna twitched. "Zim... could you?... Um, I haven't eaten all day."
Zim snorted derisively. "And why would the ALMIGHTY ZIM fetch you you're disgusting earth food?" Dib's stomach growled again, even louder this time. With a melodramatic sign Zim stood up and stormed out the door.
He returned only a second later with a slice of pizza that he unceremoniously dumped onto Dib's face. "THAT is to get you to shut up with your disturbing hyooman body noises."
Dib screamed in agony as hot pizza burned his face. He turned to the side to let it fall onto his bed and stared at it mournfully. "How am I supposed to eat it without my hands?"
Zim had already returned to the computer and was poking at the keyboard with a vengeance. Dib sighed and started the messy process of trying to eat pizza off a bed with his hands tied behind his back. Within minutes his entire face was covered in grease and one lone pepperoni clung tenaciously to his right eyebrow.
Zim let out a frustrated grunt and slammed his fist onto Dib's desk. He continued to stare at the computer screen as he spoke. "What is the filthy exterior organ of male hyoomans?"
Dib nearly snorted cheese up his nose. "What!?" Zim glowered at the computer screen, still refusing to look at Dib.
"You heard me, dirt monkey."
Dib slithered around on the bed until he could sit up, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. Why would Zim want to know something like that? Would it hurt to tell him? He decided to play along for the moment.
Once he decided to respond, however, he realized how difficult it was to answer. "Um. Well. Its..." He trailed off, looking a little hopeless.
"TELL ZIM! TELL ZIM NOW!"
"I'VE GOT A SPORK RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!!" Zim glanced towards the closed door where Gaz's voice had come. He got up and locked the bedroom door before turning to Dib.
Dib looked away and spoke quickly, "Its a penis." He felt the blush creeping up his grease stained cheeks despite his best efforts to keep it at bay.
Zim squinted his enormous crimson eyes at Dib's strange reaction. "You are turning more pig-like by the second, even your hideous pale skin is turning pink."
Dib cast him a withering glare, which was accepted as par, and bit out, "Why would you want to know, anyway?"
At this Zim finally hesitated. He leaned against the locked door and Dim realized just how tall he had gotten. If his estimate was anything to go by Zim had already reached his own height. "The base rejected me because I am no longer recognized by its DNA scanners."
Dibs eyes widened with comprehension. "You didn't!"
Zim merely stared at his nemesis, he was completely still but for the twitching of his left antennae. To his surprise, Dib burst out laughing.
"You used HUMAN DNA to get TALLER!? That's ridiculous! I thought humans were nothing but stinky meat sacks to you!" He continued to laugh uproariously, the pepperoni wobbled dangerously on its perch. Zim flatted his antennae to his head with annoyance.
"SHUT UP! Zim did what was necessary to fit in with the filthy hyooman stink-beasts. The transfer was not a full one. The changes are already completed." He grinned his characteristic grin and continued. "Zim keeps his RUGGEDLY HANDSOM LOOKS and gains a little HEIGHT all in one fell swoop."
Dib was still snorting a bit with laughter and wasn't thinking when he added, "You're voice is lower, too."
Zim stalked over to where Dib sat, confined by his own handcuffs. "You will tell Zim what to expect from these... changessss." He hisses the last word threateningly.
Dib fidgeted, "Well, its probably like going through puberty... only I don't know if you grow hair, so you might not have to worry about that." Zim's lip twitched and he continued to stare at Dib, who grew progressively pinker. "You'll probably be attracted to girls, voice lowers, um... there's not a whole lot else."
"Attracted to... females?" Zim finally looked away to ponder this new knowledge. He sat back down at Dib's desk and stared at his completed plans on the screen. "The Dib-thing is not attracted to females."
Dib was grateful the alien missed his cringe. "Of course I'm attracted to girls..." the lie was a feeble one and his face grew redder still.
Zim laughed cruelly as he extracted the plans from Dib's computer and stored them in his pak for later use. "I'm sure you are, earth-monkey." With one graceful movement he used the metallic spider appendages to slip out the window into the dark night, leaving Dib tied up and alone with his own thoughts.
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So... Zim's a jerk, no lies.