A/N- Well, yeah, I have a real good reason for not updating. My old fanfiction "Into the Dark" was completely reworked and is set to be published by the end of the summer under the name Sai-Chan. Yup. I'm gonna be a real author. Scary, ain't it? Anyways, I've got one last editing to do and it'll be ready. The plan is to have it out by the beginning of July, but I'm not sure. I just moved, so yeah...
Anyhoo, I finally had enough time to spare to update this place. Of course, my first selection is the story where the lovely, wonderful Riley dresses in drag. I redid this chapter breakdown, so I like it again. It didn't flow beforehand... but, I redid it... so.. Yay!
Also, I forgot to add the chapter title to the first chapter because I don't normally do that. But chapter one's official title was 'And it Begins'.
And now I get to add a warning: this story will contain intensely sexual references. Yay. I'm warning you ahead of time, some borderline pedophilia, but it's all in harmless fun. No one in this story is a pedophile and it will never get to that in any of my stories, so rest assured. There are some lines even I won't cross. And that's saying a lot... with my record...
So, anyways, here you go. Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.
Two days slipped by without any of the Freeman's noticing. Huey and Riley were both adjusting to their new sleeping arrangements and Granddad was attempting to rationalize having one of his worse fears confirmed. Granddad's plight was failing miserably and he was left continually getting advice from Tom over the phone; ignoring that the younger man was actually working. The boys', however, found themselves enjoying their new lives to the fullest. The older enjoyed the quiet and solitude, which was something he'd never been able to achieve while his loudmouthed brother was bunking with him. As for Riley, he was merely enjoying the ability to be as loud as possible without a single complaint, even if his grandfather broke out in a choked scream every time he spotted him in one of his brand new skirts.
Once the two days of adjustment had passed, though, the reality of the situation began to settle over the elegant house. The reality was simple: Riley was gay. The situation, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of simple: Riley was gay. As Granddad had stated, things would never be the same. Whereas Huey was emotionless about it all, having foreseen it since their infancy, Granddad was at a lost as to what to do. He didn't know what to say or whom to blame for this. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to get used to it and was even more unsure as to whether he wanted to in the first place. He had a distorted image of gays, he knew. He'd always thought that they were decent human beings, but that they were somehow less human. That they were damned by God and complete wimps with a love of feminine things and whatnot. He'd never been friends with one, that he knew of anyways, and now had to face the idea of raising one. He wasn't sure how to approach that. Did he raise Riley as a boy or as a girl? Were there separate rules to raising a gay? What did he do about the clothes?
In truth, he felt like he was suddenly faced with a terminally ill child and none of the doctors could tell him what to do about it. That would definitely sum up how he was feeling when he stood in the kitchen that morning, staring down at where Riley was standing in front of him. The boy was dressed in mini shorts and a semi loose T-shirt with the word 'Hoe' splashed over his chest. They stared at each other for a moment, then a minute, then a couple minutes, then even longer. Neither moved an inch. Riley blinked finally and kind of shrugged. That's when Granddad let out a moan and covered his face with both hands.
" Oh, Lord! What! What do you want, boy!" he hollered, peeking through his fingers at his grandson. Those large eyes got an embarrassed look, " You're not getting another dime, do you hear me!"
" I don-" he started before he was cut off.
" Good! You damn boys cost me too much as it is! Why you gotta change yer clothes! Can't you be gay in jeans!?" he demanded, his voice rising slightly. Riley blinked again.
" Can I go over ta Thugnificent's?" he asked instead, ignoring the question completely. Granddad opened his mouth to say no, then figured it would get him out of the house.
" Be back before dinner," he said, before twisting around to the stairs, "HU-EY!! GET DOWN HERE AN' WALK YER BROTHER ACROSS THE STREET!!" his voice broke the former silence of the house. There was a banging sound, then the older of the boys came marching over in a complete huff.
" Excuse me?" Huey said, as though he hadn't heard the loud scream just a few seconds ago, " Did you just tell me to walk Riley across the street?" Granddad snapped that he was correct. The revolutionary's eyes narrowed in what may have been confusion, then switched straight into annoyance, " Why? It's just across the street."
" So? Can't you walk him? Is that so much to ask? Yer granddaddy never asks anything of you and now you can't even do this one thing? Yer so damn selfish Huey! Now walk yer brother across the street to that damn rapper's and make sure he gets there!" the elderly man pointed towards the front door as the brother's exchanged equally bewildered looks, " Are you de-af? Walk yer brother across the street!"
" Riley can walk himself. He's done it a million times before. I've got Caesar comin' over an-"
" Boy, don't you gimme that bullshit! You walk Riley across the street! He's gay now and those gays are always gettin' kidnaped and raped and killed on the news! So you take him over there right now! And I don't wanna hear anything else about it, Huey!" he commanded, before snatching the phone off the counter, " Now you be home by dinner, boy, and don't bring any of your queer friends with you."
With that, Granddad left the room without so much as a glance back at the two of them. Huey gave his brother an icy cold look, then walked off as well. Riley sulked after him, shoving his hands into his pockets. He didn't bother to ask the older to wait while he got some shoes. He just went barefoot. As the revolutionary marched his way down the driveway, his brother hung his head and pouted like the feminine creature he was. He couldn't believe he needed an escort simply because he'd come out of the closet.
Of course, that was the kind of new rule he expected from his grandfather. Ever since that first evening, things had been tense. Naturally, he was the one who felt it most. All his life, he'd been allowed to do whatever it was he wanted. He'd been given permission to hang out with international criminals, ride on top of cars, get into fights, make bets, have adult friends, play on the web as much as he wanted to, and have guns. He'd arranged robberies, more then two kidnaping, illegal parties, TV scams, and more. He'd gotten away with car heists, car chases, vandalism, and more and only gotten the bare minimum punishment. All that, and now that he was gay, he was suddenly faced with all these rules and restrictions. He couldn't go out after dark, couldn't stay in the house, couldn't share the same bathroom as his brother, couldn't talk on the phone for more then an hour, couldn't leave the house without permission, couldn't have friends over, and now he couldn't go anywhere without an escort. He felt like he was being tied down and caged merely because his sexuality differed from his guardian's. He'd known that there would be changes. He'd known that. Of course he had. But not like this. He almost felt punished, like he was being grounded or something because of his sexuality. After having shared a moment with Granddad, where it had been established that this was okay, he hadn't expected this severe of a reaction. He'd thought things would be somewhat different, but that the most dramatic change would be his new bedroom. Boy, had he been wrong, he sourly thought. He couldn't win for losing. The feeling was anything but pleasant.
As Riley let out a sigh, his shirt was grabbed and he was ripped nearly off his feet. A scream tore out as he slammed into Huey and they collided with the pavement. A car whizzed by a second later, horn blaring. The younger Freeman hadn't even heard it, let alone seen it.
" Dammit, Riley! Pay attention!" the older shouted, boxing him over the head as he pushed him out of his lap. Riley hissed as he fell onto his side, holding his now throbbing head, " Jesus! Yer gonna get yourself killed if you just stand in the middle of the fucking road, you stupid nigga! What the hell were you doing!"
" I was thinkin'!"
" Well you ain't never used yer brain before, so don't use it now if that's the result! You're damn lucky I was here because you nearly got yourself killed! That white boy wasn't gonna stop for you!" Huey's voice grew louder and slammed into him almost as hard as his fist had. If there was one thing about the older that the younger truly disliked, it was the way his voice consumed the room when he was angry. The revolutionary was furious a lot, but he rarely yelled like he was now. It was incredibly painful when one was as embarrassed as Riley most certainly was.
" Okay! I got it! It won't happen again!"
" God, you're an idiot! Are you aware of that or do you need another reminder, because here comes another car!" he sneered, pointing as a sports car sped by. Riley's cheeks flushed as he roughly got to his feet.
" You can take yer ghetto ass back home, Huey! I can handle walkin' up to the front door!" Riley retorted, giving him a small shove backwards before storming off. He could feel his brother's eyes on his back and knew he was being watched. In frustration, he spun back around, " GO HOME, HUEY!!"
" I'm makin' sure your ass doesn't get lost, seeing how you can't walk across the street anymore,"
" OH, Y'KNOW WHAT, ASSHOLE, I AIN'T STUPID!! I CAN WALK UP THE DAMN STEPS AN' RING THE DOORBELL TA MY OWN HOMIE'S HOUSE!! I AIN'T NEED A STUPID ESCORT!!" he roared, clenching his fists tight and glaring as fiercely as he could. Huey's face was impressively expressionless, his arms crossed and his feet planted firmly. He wasn't going anywhere, the thug knew that. He knew his brother was as stubborn as anyone and would never agree to give in when instructed to do something; Huey was too proud to be told what to do by his own little brother.
A minute passed in which both just stood there and glared at the other. Then there was a snap behind Riley's eyes and he felt himself moving forward before it ever processed that he was doing anything. Every thought flew out of his head as the rage crashed down upon him. Words drowned out his rationality as they always did. In a flash, his hand was jerked back and he went to lay the hardest smack he'd ever laid on anyone on that arrogant face. His wrist was caught, his fingers so close to that cheek that he could feel the heat rising up. Huey's expression never changed. He gazed into the younger's blinking eyes with the indifference he was so renown for. At once, Riley realized he'd moved and he'd attempted to smack his brother for no reason other then the way he was being treated by their grandfather. He glanced around quickly, then ripped his arm from the other's grip. Nervously, he stepped back, rubbing the slightly sore area where his brother had been squeezing his flesh.
" You're an idiot, Riley," Huey muttered, turning and walking off as if nothing had ever happened between the first time he'd said that and now. He glanced both ways, then went across the street. In a matter of seconds, he was inside the house and the door was shut. Riley jumped and shivered when said door shut, but he wasn't sure as to why.
Still feeling that chill, the young thug turned away from the uninviting house where he lived and walked up the steps to the mansion across the street. It was as self indulgent as ever. Nothing had changed whatsoever. Yet, when he stood in the driveway, he recalled how his idol, his Licious, had point blank lied to him. His brown eyes softened as he cast a glance at the spot he'd stood less then a week beforehand. He'd stood there and demanded the truth from the one person he'd counted on to never betray his trust. The two of them, there was a world of difference between them and no less then twenty years difference. Still, they'd shared some truly horrible memories of a kidnaping and attempted murder. They'd expressed similar feelings about growing up, wishing to be something they weren't. Then, that night after everything had gone down at his house, Riley had sought the truth from the man who'd been his idol, his friend. And Licious had just shrugged, laughed, and lied, before offering to keep him company for a bit. In the light of day, the spot was just as plain as the rest of the pavement. In the boy's mind eye, though, it was as dark as his makeshift world was turning out to be.
Nothing but a lie with a laugh and a resolute hatred of the word 'gay'.
With that in mind, Riley rang the doorbell of Thugnificent's manor. He'd seen how Licious had reacted to the question. He'd felt the icy coldness of his indifferent brother and his terrified grandfather. He expected nothing worse from his so called friends. Thus, by the time Thug pulled open the door with a happy declaration of his name, Riley had begun to break down. His body shook, his knees gave way, and he started to sob into his hands. All the contemptuous looks, all the disapproval, slammed down upon him as those three rappers stared in complete shock and horror as their little homie broke to pieces in front of them.
" Reezie! Why you crying!?" Thug demanded, touching his shoulder in an almost concerned sort of manner. Riley shook his head, tearing out of his grasp, " Come on, you can tell me, little nigga! What's wrong?!"
What's wrong? Those words swirled in his head as the laughter exploded from his mouth. Everything inside him seemed to shut down as Riley felt his body convulsing from such hysteria. He couldn't control it, nor the tears. He just pointed at Thug's stunned face and laughed at the idiotic question. How could he answer something so pathetically obvious? It was beyond him even to understand why he was laughing about it. He couldn't function. He couldn't even remember why he was sobbing, it was so funny. Riley just stood there, laughing, as he reached forward and grabbed Thug's outstretched hands. The physical contact felt like sandpaper rubbing into his flesh. Instantly he recoiled and the world went blank for less the half a second. That was enough. The reality crashed down into the back of his skull and the loudest scream he'd ever uttered broke forth. He just screamed, screamed and sobbed, as he covered his ears to the sound of his own desperation. Every emotion that had ever swirled in his being rushed out. The trauma of losing his parents so young, the abuse of being the family outcast, the happiness of finally finding friends, the annoyance of his brother, the embarrassment of being so stupid, the shame of being gay. All of it slammed into his eight year old body and he screamed for it, falling to his knees from the sheer power of the memories.
Then his mind was a white slate. It was all out, all gone from his body. This was what he knew was release. This was the cleansing his brother, the precious firstborn, had spoken of when his baby brother had questioned his weird chi positions. This was release. Sitting there on the pavement, surrounded by the severely confused Lethal Interjections, he'd never felt so light in his life. All the guilt and shame was gone. He almost felt empty, as though he was being given a second chance to fill himself up with better emotions and better memories. Slowly, he blinked and glanced around at the expensive sneakers gathered around him. Carefully, he got to his feet and dusted off his butt, before looking up into the wide eyes of the men who looked after him in their own way.
" Are you feelin' aiight, Riley?" Thug questioned, his voice hesitant and unsure. That was the tone the boy was used to by now. The tone his grandfather used when he spoke to him, the tone he was sure everyone would use around him for the rest of his life. Unsure and confused. Before, those emotions had made him feel disgusted with himself. Now, he found it fitting, as that was exactly how he felt when he got down to it.
" Niggas... um... I have somethin' to tell y'all," he calmly said, feeling as though he was in shock. They mimicked his feelings perfectly as they urged him to continue. They didn't know what was coming, they weren't ready for it. They wouldn't accept it, they wouldn't know what to do if they ever decided to. They would turn him away and run in the opposite direction. He knew this, he knew how they'd reacted to Licious. Still, he looked up at their faces and took in a deep breath.
Riley walked across the street. For the first time, he looked both ways before heading over to his house. He replayed the scene in his head once more as he checked the door and found it locked; he'd known it would be. Taking a seat on the steps, then, he found himself looking back at the fresh memory of his confession to the rappers.
He'd just come out and said it. He was gay and he was becoming quite the cross dresser. His mind was made up and he was sick of pretending he was something he wasn't. Thug had drawn back his hand and the other two had basically run into the house and locked the door. Their reactions were that of those who realized the person they were comforting had a virus that would spread to them and infect them as well. Then, cautiously, Thug had reached forward and touched Riley's shoulder. The others had stopped short in their retreat, staring as their leader knelt down in a very out of character manner. The rapper had the look of someone being forced to apologize for something they were proud of doing. It hadn't been a pleasant moment when he told him it was okay. The tone in his voice was somber, as if he was sad for Riley. Riley had been shocked. Beside himself, he'd demanded to know why it was okay for him to be gay when they'd turned Licious away so coldly. Thug had choked on his words, then stuttered to say no one would think he was gay if a friend was, only if a business partner was. The others had chimed in with 'yeahs' and 'knaameans', nodding feverishly in approval. The thug had watched as they attempted to accept him, to assure him that they were still friends, and he felt hollow inside as they did. That empty feeling began to fill with an emotion he couldn't identify. All he'd done was smile and thank them for being so sweet about their acceptance. He pretended that their very apology wasn't like a knife in his young heart, that the blade wasn't making him die inside. He couldn't explain it. They did the opposite of what everyone else had done and somehow that hurt even worse.
Unable to describe it and even more unable to take it, Riley had just excused himself and tried to head home. Thug hadn't let him. He'd been determined to prove they weren't just faking it. They'd invited him inside for their usual antics. None would take no for an answer, so he'd agreed and gone inside that lavish house. Riley had been shuffled into the living room and treated like a queen, given whatever he wanted. The treatment normally would've made him smile and greedy and demanding. Instead, it left him cold inside and desiring nothing but to leave. After several hours, he'd finally been able to leave, with the excuse that he had to get home for dinner.
Now, he sat alone on the steps of his home and waited for one of his family members to remember he was supposed to be coming home that evening. He could hear the bass of another one of Thug's parties beginning. He hadn't been asked to stay. He hadn't even been informed that the party was going on. The Lethal Interjections may have wanted to save their friendship with him, perhaps only because of his mental meltdown, but they didn't want him to publically be their associate. He was being shut out of something else simply because of his sexuality. The changes that seemed to be popping up everywhere were starting to take their toll on him.
Suddenly, just as he took in a deep breath, the door opened. His older brother leaned over him into his line of sight. That face was set in stone, unfeeling and unforgiving. There was nothing there but the cold slate that had always been there. Nothing could ever shake or change Huey Freeman. Riley knew that, as he slightly moved backwards so that they were perfectly eye level. Those eyes blinked in that manner that told the person he was staring at that they meant nothing. His frown was unapologetic. There was absolutely nothing there, as always.
" You're late fer dinner, Riley. Get off yer ass and get inside before I get yelled at again. And no damn excuses, got it?" he sneered, pulling Riley up by the arm and jerking him inside. The thug winced as his bare feet touched the freezing wooden floors that he was being dragged across. Before they reached the dinner table, though, the revolutionary stopped. His hand shot up and caught the younger in the chest as he went to go around him.
" Nigga, wuz the bi-"
" I heard you screaming earlier," with those few words, everything went still and silent. Riley felt his eyes growing wide as his face burned hot. His slender body went stiff as Huey turned to face him. His expression hadn't changed, hadn't given an inch. There was no real kindness in his eyes, just the hard pressed look of a jaded political figure. Not even his voice lent a hand at compassion. Yet, Riley could feel it dripping from his brother. He knew it and that made him embarrassed beyond reason. He opened his mouth to say something when Huey's hands touched his shoulders. The touch was firm, hard, and commanding.
A moment elapsed in which the brothers looked upon the other. Riley was bewildered and at a complete lost as to what to say. Huey was emotionless in his own apathy. Then, the revolutionary glanced to the side and his face broke it's uncaring look. His eyes softened to the look of concern he rarely gave anyone and his shoulders clenched under stress. He fought the words on the tip of his tongue as Riley watched this show of affection. He saw a shiver rush down the older's back and then, there was that look. Dead, hardened eyes and a tight frown of disapproval. The emotion, it withered before it ever bloomed. Then, like a joke, Huey smiled a half smile that was usually reserved for his best friend, Caesar, in their private moments.
" So, do I call you my little sister now or is little brother still acceptable?" he teased in a deadpan, sarcastic voice that would've brought tears to a lesser being. Instead, Riley broke out in laughter and threw his arms around Huey's waist. There was no hesitation. His older brother squeezed him back, his hands locked around his shoulders in a protective manner he barely ever showed the public.
And, slowly, Riley smiled in an embrace he'd only felt once before, when Huey believed he was going to get killed in a stunt. They held one another close as only siblings could. Huey's smile was gone and was once more replaced by the cool indifference of someone who'd seen this coming and was merely waiting for the right moment to say 'I told you so'. That was a look the thug was familiar with. It was the only look he'd ever really received from his brother. Even though it wasn't a comforting look, it was one that hadn't changed. If there was anyone he could count on to never give him that unsure expression, that nervous tone of voice, it was Huey Freeman. That sort of stability was what he needed now that he'd broken down mentally and constructed a scaffold for himself during this rebuilding period to save what he could of his old existence. He'd been rejected by his idol, turning away by his grandfather, and grudgingly accepted by his companions. He needed a steady foothold from someone who knew him when he was a punk thug wannabe. Someone who wouldn't look at him differently and wouldn't remake the way they treated him simply because he came out of the closet. That was definitely going to be Huey. To him, he'd always be his little brother. That was something he needed, even if he didn't want to admit it.
" Nigga, get the fuck offa me," Riley snapped, shoving him off and rudely dusting his shirt off. Huey rolled his eyes in bored annoyance, " Nigga, you gay,"
" No. You are. And you're going to have to live with that. No matter what the rest of the world says," Huey instructed, hands crossed over his chest. The younger flipped him the bird, one hand on his hip. The older sighed and rubbed his forehead as he started to walk towards the dining room. He stopped in the doorframe and looked over his shoulder, " If they can't accept you for who you are, Riley, they aren't worth the time. I've told you that before. You shouldn't have to fake it anymore. It's degrading to you and your culture and your sexuality. You've already degraded yourself enough. You should at least be proud of this. So... if no one else will say it, I will. There's nothing wrong with being gay,"
" An' just what would you know 'bout bein' gay?" Riley hissed, despite the elation surging to life inside him. Huey glanced to the left, away from him, then back at him.
" My little brother's a drag queen. I happen to know a lot,"
With that, Huey turned away and was gone. Riley was left standing there, watching as he walked off. This time, the exit didn't feel cold and harsh. He blinked, confused about what he felt at that moment. Perhaps it was gratitude that someone had finally told him that he wasn't wrong in his choice. Perhaps it was embarrassment that his brother knew his inner thoughts. Perhaps it was sorrow because of all people, his uncaring brother was the only one reaching out to him. Nevertheless, he knew he still had a long road of ahead of him before everything was settled with him coming out of the closet.
First of all, he still had to tell Ed and Rummy he was gay.
A/N- So... that chapter completely fucked over the plan I was so proud of before... thank you, Riley... so, how 'bout that mental breakdown? Warning notice: first asshole to say Riley's acting emo gets banned from my site. I'm not joking. Emo is when you sob when nothing is wrong. When you're confused about who you are and everyone keeps shutting you down and you cry, it's not emo. It's normal. So, fuck off. If you don't know what emo is, shut the fuck up.
Sorry. I hate people who call things emo when they're not.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed it.
BTW- I'm gonna come right out and say it: I have no fucking idea what the other Lethal Interjection members' names are. Sorry. But I don't. I don't really care either, but if you wanna tell me, be my guest. I'll probably never use 'em, seeing how the only member I like is Thug, but, yeah, might be important at some point.
That's all.