Vacation
All I ever wanted
Vacation
Had to get away
Vacation…..
Vacation, the Go-Go's"Ipods, paperbacks, sunblock?" asked Lil.
"Check." replied Phil.
"Toiletries, extra pillows and blankets?"
"Check."
"Phone chargers, batteries, first aid kit?" asked Chuck.
Kimi raised her eyebrows.
"Hey, it never hurts to be prepared!"
"And," chimed in Phil, "Most importantly, the beer?"
Lil indicated the cooler. "Check!"
"Ok," said Angelica, plopping down her luggage, "Where does this stuff go?"
"Um," said Tommy, "It stays here."
"Come again?"
"Angelica," interjected Chuck, "You can't possibly think that we can bring all that with us, can you?"
"This is a vacation." said Kimi, scratching her bangs, which were currently emblazoned with a streak of bright lime green.
"Exactly," answered Angelica. "And how do you expect me to enjoy myself without looking cute? I need a wardrobe, people!"
"More importantly," offered Susie, "This is a road trip, and one involving a lot of people. We can barely fit all of us and the bare necessities in the van as it is."
"Oh, I've been meaning to say something about that," said Angelica, checking her make-up in her compact. "This van, completely disgusting. I refuse to be seen in it."
Susie crossed her arms over her chest and gave Angelica a challenging look. "You're riding in the van."
"Over my dead body."
"That can be arranged." said Tommy, through gritted teeth.
"Babydoll, just put some of the stuff back, ok?"
She sighed. "Ok…but only because you asked nicely." She kissed Chuck's cheek and, struggling a little, carried her bags back inside.
"Good one," said Phil appreciatively. "You're the only person who can keep Angelica under control."
Chuck gave him an incredulous look. "I don't know about that. I get the feeling that it's only because she lets me. Don't be fooled; no one can control Angelica, in any way, shape or form."
Phil laughed. "Yeah…I gotta be honest with you, man…she sort of scares me…"
Chuck tossed his duffel bag into the back of the van. "Well, I gotta be honest with you…she scares me, too."
Two bags were sitting on the driveway behind the van. One was decorated with tons of those glow-in the-dark stars that they used to stick on their bedroom ceilings as kids. The other was embellished with buttons and patches representing various causes, issues, and punk bands. These obviously belonged to Dil and Kimi, respectively. Chuck grinned and threw them in the back, next to his stuff.
Angelica reappeared next to him. "Alright, I've lightened the load considerably."
He picked up her stuff, which was down to one overstuffed bag, at least, and squeezed it in with the rest of the bags.
"Everyone ready?" asked Chuck. "We're on a schedule, people. We need to get there before it's too late."
Angelica rolled her eyes. "Cutie, it's a vacation. Relax."
"I'm relaxed," he insisted, checking his watch.
"Chuck's right," said Tommy, "Let's round 'em all up and get on the road!"
Angelica crawled into the van (not an easy task in wedge shoes), where she was squeezed in between Phil and Chuck. She fastened her seatbelt and tried to adjust herself comfortably, but to no avail. She sighed. "How long is this trip?"
"Not long…" mumbled Tommy, as he adjusted the rearview mirror. Lil climbed in and settled down in the spacious, comfortable looking front passenger seat.
"Ready, Co-pilot?" asked Tommy with a grin.
"Ready!" She smiled and looked back at all the couples jammed in together in the ugly 1980's van that Tommy had rented.
"How long is 'not long', exactly?" persisted Angelica.
"Oh, I dunno…three hours?…"
Everyone groaned.
Lil gave Angelica a thumbs up and a big grin. Angelica glared at her.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there now?"
"No, Phil," groaned Tommy, one hand on the steering wheel and one hand clutching a crinkled map.
"I really have to peeeeeeeeee…." Phil squealed.
"You're such a little kid," said Tommy. "You shouldn't have had that Mega Slushie!"
"Well, I realize that now….pull over!"
"Dude, no, we're almost there."
"And no one wants to see that." offered Lil with a grimace.
"Oh, come on!"
Angelica pinched the bridge of her nose. "Just pull over so he'll shut up!"
"A ha!" said Tommy. "That's it!" He pointed to a mailbox mostly hidden behind some tall grass.
Kimi eyed the mailbox, which was shaped like a big bass fish. "That's it?"
"Well, it's back there somewhere." replied Tommy, turning the van onto the dirt path.
They all looked out the windows anxiously as the van crept up the dirt and gravel driveway. At the end, there was a little bungalow style cottage. It was nondescript, a little square painted a dull brown. Two simple windows framed the front door. The window boxes were full of overgrown weeds. Tommy rolled the van to a stop. All was silent except for Phil's whining. As soon as Tommy turned off the ignition, Phil pushed people aside to get out. He ran to the little house and stood at the front door, jumping up and down impatiently, while Tommy rummaged through his pockets for the key.
When he found it, he looked up at the low, sagging porch warily. "I dunno…that porch doesn't look so safe…"
Phil glared at him.
"Ok, ok, I'm coming." Tommy opened the door and Phil bolted for the bathroom. Tommy stepped in and everyone else followed.
It was cramped and dark. Susie reached for the light switch. "Um…" She flicked it up and down. "The lights don't work."
Tommy tried the light switch. Susie rolled her eyes. "Did you think I was doing it wrong or something?"
Tommy shrugged. "Ok, so, the lights are a little messed up…I'm sure it can be fixed. We'll just trip the breaker."
Angelica scrunched up her nose. "Eww…what's that smell?"
Lil squished up her face in a disgusted look. "I think it's mold or mildew or something like that…"
"Mothballs?" offered Dil.
"Oh, cool," said Phil, as he re-entered the room. "Are we guessing gross smells?"
Tommy slapped his palm against the couch, which was loosely covered in plastic. A cloud of dust rose and re-settled slowly. Chuck sneezed.
Angelica eyed the peeling floral wallpaper and various mounted animal heads disdainfully. "Ok, I think that I can safely say that this is not what any of us had in mind."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"It's not that bad…" said Tommy nervously.
"Pickles." Angelica said through gritted teeth. "I. will. kill. you."
"There were pictures on the web site…it looked quaint…" he said defensively.
"They were probably taken ten years ago." offered Angelica. "Don't you know anything about real estate fraud?"
Lil rubbed her boyfriend's arm consolingly as everyone gave him threatening glances. "Hey, hey! Tommy didn't know, ok? And we got a good deal. And it is right on the beach." She pointed out one of the dusty windows. There was indeed a dirt path, overgrown with tall grass and weeds, which led to a cozy little beach.
Dil joined in on the defense of his brother. "Yeah, it's nice! It's like our own desert island!"
"Great," said Angelica, "locked up, away from civilization for a week…"
Chuck put an arm around her. "We're not completely secluded, we're only a few minutes from town. There's stuff to do there."
"Like…shopping?" asked Angelica, brightening considerably.
"Yeah," said Tommy, "There's an outlet mall."
Chuck kissed his girlfriend's forehead. "I'm sure you'll feel better once we get settled in…how about you take a hot shower? I bet that'll make you feel better."
Angelica smiled. He really did always know what to say to make her feel better. "That sounds fantastic." She rummaged through her bag and found her toiletries. Then she kissed his cheek and made her way to the bathroom.
"Yeah," said Kimi, pulling the plastic back from the couch, "It's not so bad…"
"I know, it's even—"
Tommy was interrupted by Angelica's loud, shrill scream.
Phil donned his lopsided grin. "I guess she found the spiders in the bathroom…"