Chapter 12
That night the band got pissed, I went to the hotel room where Ryusuke and I were staying, not wanting any part of the drunken fun, I had a horrible experience with it that I'd better not mention that put me off it completely.
I called up Taira to see if Ryusuke was okay, they sounded completely off it. I didn't like it so I hung up as Taira got Ryusuke, mainly because I heard Ray say 'oh, not that bitch!'
He may have been drunk but the idea of hearing my love hate me…kills…I fell on the floor and started crying salted tears. I rolled up into a ball crying.
I heard a knock on the door and I went to open it, it was Koyuki and Saku carrying a completely drunk Ryusuke.
'Oh … hey…' he said drunkenly, I breathed in the fumes of the poison and pointed to the sofa, Where I had already left a bucket and a towel if he was sick.
They left to go find somewhere for Taira. I stared at the passed out fiancé of mine and felt a surge of hate, I turned away as not to cause myself any pain. When Eiji was drunk he was never like this, never, Eiji was too clingy when he was drunk but Ryusuke just hates me…
That was when I hit my head on the wall to stop these poisonous thoughts, it didn't work so I banged my head again and again and again, the wall began getting slightly dented. I stopped banging my head and started punching it over and over again. I saw crimson flow from my knuckles onto the floor and around my wrist and continued punching; the red was on the wall, smeared.
'Why, Why, why' I shouted over and over again.
I was so angry and so upset. I was so scared I'd end up murdering my dear Ray, because the kitchen knife was just too tempting.
I slid onto the floor crying. That's all I did that night, I cried. I cried myself to sleep, a curled up ball on the floor.
I was awoken by Ryusuke shaking me.
'A-Ayane…?' He sounded in pain, of course, hung-over.
'What…? I snapped getting up instantly, Ryusuke grabbed his head.
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got that drunk…I'm sorry for whatever I said…'
I stared and then hugged him tight 'Oh Ray, I couldn't stay mad at you' I told him then I got out some painkillers and gave them to him 'Sleep as much as you can today' I told him, he lay down on the sofa and I covered him up with a blanket, stroking his hair, he fell asleep, It was at this point I realised, Just who I am.