I never expected a storm that night. It felt almost as though the weather was acting in sympathy with my pain. Maybe that was my childish mind working overtime...I rarely believed in coincidences back then. Everything happened for a reason. Usually a reason that had much to do with me. I think I believed every action in the world was the consequence of some small action I had done. So, the storm was my fault. That was fine by me. I didn't mind storms. They were usually quite exciting, but not today. Today, I was not in the comfort of my own home. I was cold, wet and more than a little frightened. The thunder sounded so much louder outside.
Carlisle's arms were both comforting and a little disturbing. The emotional warmth was there - the compassion in his eyes was far more than my mother or father ever showed me, but his arms felt cold and stiff, almost like stone. I didn't mind, exactly. I was quite sure she could stay in his arms all day and not want him to put me down, but I had always been far too perceptive for my own good. I never mentioned the fact that he breathed maybe twice in the time that it took to walk down the corridor. I put it down to him being a 'grown-up' although I knew my father did not have such a good breathing technique.
"E-Esme...Esme Anne Platt..." I stuttered when he asked my name. I think I gave him the impression that I was just very cold, but that was only half of the reason for my rather strange way of answering. I felt almost embarrassed that the doctor actually wanted to speak to me. I suppose I felt inferior in a way, as though I thought such beauty was not worthy for the likes of somebody like me. And there was another thing - until I met Carlisle Cullen, I would never in my life have considered a man to be beautiful. There was no other word to describe him. Attractive didn't even Ibegin/i to cover it! I remember thinking Iso this is what it feels like to love somebody./i
Doctor Cullen asked what my problem was, but I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to admit to him that I had been foolish enough to be climbing a tree. Maybe he would think me an insolent child, and treat me like my father had always treated me? In a vain effort to hide the fact that I was beginning to get a little upset, I asked if he was a doctor. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and I'm still not quite sure how it managed to slip from my mouth. I apologized the moment the words were out, but the damage was done. Or...I thought it was damage...Carlisle did not seem put-off at all, or maybe that was just his professionalism shining through. My fears melted away when I saw him smile. My eyes focused on his smile, almost as though it was hypnotic. He had the most beautiful smile in the world! Even though my small, frail body was close to freezing, I felt instantly warmed. The darkness didn't seem so bad any more. Not with Doctor Cullen with me.
His voice sounded almost like singing when he spoke. I had only heard a few singers in my short life, but I knew straight away that none of them could hold a candle to Doctor Cullen. He had the softest voice in the world, and it made my spine tingle when he laughed. How could such a heavenly sound be made by a mere human? I knew the answer to my silent question before I had finished asking it. It was impossible. No human could do that, and Doctor Cullen was icertainly /inot human. Or not as human as the rest of us, anyway. He just couldn't be!
"Do I not look like a doctor to you?" he asked, with another beautiful smile. It took me a few moments to realize he expected an answer. I had no idea what to say. I couldn't tell him the truth, he would laugh...he would laugh.
"I umm...well, I thought I might have passed out," I said quietly, just a little above a whisper. I suppose I had hoped he wouldn't hear, but I should have known. Everything else about this man was perfect; of course his hearing was going to follow that tradition. I met his eyes shyly, but only for a second. His gaze moved, and I blushed. I knew he was watching my mouth, because I had watched his in the same way when that beautiful smile crossed his face. I looked away quickly, suddenly feeling embarrassed, and rather too warm, despite my freezing clothes clinging to my skin.
I almost laughed at the tremble in his voice. I had caused that! I wasn't useless, after all. I was...was isomehow/i having an effect on this perfect man! I knew not to get too worked up about it, in case I was wrong, but I could see all the signs. Doctor Cullen was acting with me the way my father had used to be with my mother - like he was almost hypnotized. I wondered if he could feel what I felt? "I think that because it's true!" I said incredulously. "Am I definitely not passed out?" I asked, suddenly genuinely feeling worried that this man was just my imagination. I moved my hand to his cheek and pressed the tips of my fingers against his skin. Cold, utterly smooth, but real. Definitely real. There was no doubt about that. "I-I thought I was dreaming because...well...because people like you only exist in dreams," I said quietly, casting my eyes downwards. I was suddenly almost afraid of his reaction. What if I Ihad/i got the wrong idea? I had never felt remotely attracted to a man before, and for all I knew, I could very well have been ruining things for myself before they had even began. I chanced a very quick, curious glance at his face - no more than a few seconds - praying that his reply would be at least understanding.