Disclaimer: They don't belong to me.

Part 2

/../../../../../

Fin sat slumped on the sofa, tired, concerned and hungry.

"I hope it's not gone cold," Olivia said to him as she reappeared dressed in oversized blue flannelette pyjamas.

"Nah, Liv, it's good," said Fin as he watched her sit down beside him.

"You could have eaten already. You didn't have to wait for me," she said, picking up a box of chow mien.

"What sort of guest would I be if I did that?" he grinned, picking up fried rice.

A friendly silence ensued, broken only by the sports reports coming from the television, a few meaningless comments about the food were exchanged but nothing of much merit. Olivia was emotionally drained from the day as a whole and physically drained by her exposure to the harsh elements of a New York winter's day.

When she had consumed enough she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on Fin's shoulder. "Thanks for being here, Fin."

"Anytime, Liv," he replied. "You're exhausted, why don't you go to bed and have an early night?"

"No, that's okay…unless you need to be going home," Olivia replied, not sure if she wanted to be alone or not.

"I don't have to be anywhere, Liv." He handed her the cushion from his side. "Just lay down here then," he said aware Olivia had not told him the complete truth about the day.

Olivia dropped the cushion onto Fin's lap and laid her head on it, tucking her feet into the corner of the sofa. Her eyes settled onto the screen but she wasn't really watching anything. She shuddered as a cool breeze drifted through the apartment so Fin pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it over her.

"That better?" he asked, resting his hand on her shoulder.

She nodded. "Thanks."

Just as she was drifting off Fin's phone rang and he answered quietly, not wanting to disturb her if he didn't have to.

"What's happening?" Munch asked him.

"Not a lot," he replied.

"Is Olivia okay?" he asked.

"Don't think so," he replied, trying not to give anything away.

"Elliot's on his way over," Munch commented.

"Shit!" exclaimed Fin before he could stop himself. Olivia looked up at him. He'd forgotten about Elliot and the call. "Can you get him to change his plans?"

"Don't think so … he'd been sitting at his desk for the best part of an hour looking shell shocked then he started pacing around and mumbling about something … he wouldn't give a reason but he'd been on the phone with someone and I think it upset him," he said and Fin just nodded as the sick realisation hit him that he hadn't ended the call after he went into the bathroom.

"You want to try and contact him and advise him otherwise?" Fin asked, not up to a visit.

"I can try but by the time he made up his mind to go I don't think much was going to stop him," Munch said before hanging up.

Fin pocketed his phone and tried to avoid Olivia's watchful gaze. He smiled at her before looking back at the screen.

"Elliot coming over?" she asked finally. Fin grinned, there wasn't much he could keep from her.

"Yeah, so Munch says," Fin answered.

"I don't really want to see him," she said, turning around to watch the TV again.

"You want to tell me the rest about today?" Fin asked, squeezing her arm.

"I told you about it," she said.

"What about the part you left out? The part between when you got there and what you told me earlier…" he asked.

"Nothing to tell," she replied, her voice rising a little.

"Munch says there is," Fin replied.

Olivia sat up on the sofa, pulling the blanket with her and surrounding herself in the soft, purple fabric. Her knees were drawn to her chest and her hands gripped the blanket, pulling it to her chin.

"Liv … you've gotta tell someone," he said gently. She shook her head and pushed back into the corner of the sofa, as far from Fin as she could get. "Tell me, honey," he prompted. "It's okay."

Sadly she shook her head again. "Nothing happened," she reiterated but every aspect of her body language told another story.

Fin considered her for a moment; he was reluctant to put her through anymore trauma but he knew the destruction the job could have on your body and soul when you kept it all inside … he had no faith in the 'brain brigade', as he liked to call them, but knew she had to tell someone before it ate her up.

"How about I tell you what I know and you see if you agree?" he asked but wasn't really expecting an answer, she stared at him blankly. "When you guys got back to the apartment building for the second time you intended to arrest Freeman. You busted his door and split up … Munch went towards the kitchen, sitting room, you went towards the bedrooms. Am I right so far?" She nodded, her eyes dropping to his chest.

"You opened the door to the second bedroom and the prick was raping her on the bed … her hands were tied together and she had a ball gag in her mouth … You yelled and threatened to shoot, Munch came and Freeman had the knife at her throat …" Olivia closed her eyes but still nodded.

"You moved towards the bed and he dragged Amy onto the floor, he started ranting when the poor girl wet herself … Both you and John could have gotten shots off to take him out but you waited for each other and by the time that happened, he'd pulled her back to him with the knife at her throat. Freeman pulled the gag off so she could scream and then he mouthed off at you. You tried to talk him down but it was never gonna happen … you rounded the bed and he pressed the knife into her throat … you offered to swap places, actually begged is more like it … you kicked your gun under the bed while Amy pleaded with you to help her." Olivia's tears silently cascaded down her face .

"The bastard indicated he was gonna let her go, he loosened his grip and she went to move to you crying … just as you took hold of her, he dragged her back and slit her throat and attempted to stab you before Munch shot him… That's what happened, wasn't it, Liv?" he asked quietly. Olivia nodded, before the tears became sobs and she let the pain escape in mournful cries which echoed through the apartment.

Fin slid across the sofa and held her as the pain of her day, her job, her life tried to break her. He tried soothing words and gentle touches but she was caught up in her own world. In the end, he kissed Olivia's head and held her to him, allowing her to cry herself out. Her tears were followed by silence and Fin allowed himself a brief smile, thinking she'd cried herself to sleep and would be able to find some solace in her slumber.

Instead, after a few moments, she started to speak.

"She didn't have to die," she began quietly. "Amy … she didn't have to die … if Elliot had have been there we would have picked up Freeman before he ever touched her and she wouldn't have died… and if Elliot had have been there we wouldn't have waited for each other rather than get the shot off and she wouldn't have died … and if Elliot had have been there and not with his pregnant, estranged wife then … then …" She couldn't end her sentence, it was all too hard.

"Then you wouldn't have felt you had to swap places with her … to give your life for hers … so she wouldn't have to pay the price for the fact that Elliot wasn't there … Sound about right?" he asked and she nodded.

Fin held her tightly and soon sleep came rescuing her from her torment. Fin had just reached for the remote to change channels when his cell rang again.

"Tell me she's okay?" Elliot pleaded.

"She's asleep," Fin replied, not at all sure how he was going to handle Elliot.

"But is she okay?" he repeated.

"Nope," he answered. "She will be though."

"I heard your conversation earlier … in the bathroom," Elliot admitted. Fin just sighed. "And Munch caught up with me before I got to her apartment and told me the rest."

"Aha," muttered Fin.

"I've fucked up royally, haven't I?" he asked, but he already knew the answer. "I mean … my life … her life … Amy's life …" he continued when Fin didn't speak. "You were right with what you said about Liv and me … earlier … I thought we had a chance too … and then I went and screwed Kathy … and it was supposed to be a one off thing … just sex … nothing else … and for the second time I've fucked up my life by getting her pregnant when it was the last thing I wanted …" His voice trailed but there was still no response from Fin.

"And if I hadn't done that …" he continued to ramble. " I would have been with Liv today and Amy Macintosh would be laying in her bed rather than the morgue …" Elliot sighed deeply. "And Liv wouldn't have given up her gun and put her life at risk to make up for my stupidity."

"What's done is done," Fin finally said. "Can't change it now."

"I'm sitting downstairs … any point me coming up to see her?" Elliot asked, downcast.

"Nope, I think you should just let her sleep … it's the best thing for her," Fin said.

"Do you think she'll talk to me tomorrow… at the precinct?" he asked.

"Liv's on leave … don't know when she'll be back?" he informed him.

"Since when?" Elliot asked surprised.

"Since Cragen insisted before I brought her home," he replied.

"Oh!" Elliot sighed. "Will you stay with her tonight?"

"Yeah, just to be sure she's okay," Fin answered.

"Thanks," he said, glad someone was there for her, devastated it couldn't be him. The day had started well for him with the OBGYN informing them they would be having a son, but had ended so badly. His decision and actions which had resulted in a son had caused reverberations in the lives of others, something he had never expected. He ended the call; there was nothing left to say.

Fin pocketed his cell and eased his feet up onto the coffee table. A quick glance at the clock told him it was nearly midnight … he sighed. He couldn't wait for tomorrow and hopefully a much better day for the woman sleeping alongside him.

/../../../../../../../../../../../

The End

Sorry Rach, you didn't get the EO you wanted.