AN: Hi. So first off, I want to thank all of you who reviewed, favorited, or alerted! Your interest and thoughtful comments mean so much, so thank you! Sorry about the wait, but here's the second chapter of Let Go. I hope you guys enjoy!!
Troy and Gabriella reached her house with relative ease, though halfway there a misty drizzle began to fall, making the few people they passed on the street look hazy around the edges. By the time Gabriella opened the door to her apartment, both were anxious to get out of their drenched and now completely frigid clothing.
"I'm not sure if I have anything for you to change into, Troy. Come with me and we'll check."
Troy followed Gabriella down the short hall to the last and only door on the right, which lead to the master bedroom. The room's walls were painted a warm sage green, the bed was made and the pillows were set in all their correct places. Apparently Gabriella's neatness hadn't been lost in her search for independence. As Troy looked around the room, Gabriella entered her walk in closet and began rummaging through drawers and in between hangers.
"Oh, here!" Gabriella exclaimed, "I forgot I had these." Gabriella threw Troy a white cotton t-shirt, a green zip up sweatshirt and some navy blue basketball shorts. He held them in his hands and was suddenly overcome by the bleak realization that there had been others. Gabriella hadn't been his and his alone. It was silly to overlook it – he had been with other women, many other women, actually. Why would she remain single? Why would she remained untouched?
Gabriella's voice caught his attention and he looked up, "Troy, could you help me with this?"
Troy lifted his eyes from the shorts and sweatshirt bunched in his fist and trailed to the sleeve of his jacket now thrown carelessly on the comforter and up to Gabriella whose back was facing him. He could see her reflection in the full-length mirror she was standing in front of and she gave him an encouraging smile. As she pulled her wet hair over one shoulder the intricacies of her dress became apparent. Up the entire back of the dress was a line of small, satin covered buttons.
"I can do it myself about half way down, I just need you to unbutton the top half."
Troy moved forward on instinct, mostly due to his years of basketball training. Even during the most terrifying games, where his team was sure to lose he was still able to go out there and play his best. Troy got the same nervous feeling before he played those games as he did when touching the first button on Gabriella's dress. He released each button one by one, his knuckles grazing the bare skin of her back as more of it was exposed. Her skin looked and felt the same as it did when she was eighteen – smooth, warm, and completely flawless. Once the buttons reached the middle of her back Gabriella briskly thanked Troy with no hint that their closeness had affected her, and walked into her closet. Troy noticed as he stood there, still comprehending what had just happened, that she had not bothered to fully shut the door. Unable to help himself he glanced to the left where he could see Gabriella standing in the poorly lit closet wearing only her nude strapless bra and black, lace-edged briefs. Her back was to him and pooled around her feet was her dress that appeared incredibly similar to the ocean they had been swimming in minutes ago. It looked as though she was debating what to wear. Troy suddenly felt like a teenager again and scolded himself as he quickly changed into the clothing Gabriella had given him. She may be different now, she may have let go, but Troy was sure she would slap him if she knew he had been watching her change. After a few minutes, Gabriella emerged from the closet with a pair of yoga pants, a t-shirt, and her wet hair now in a high ponytail.
"I don't know about you, but I'm still kind of cold," Gabriella said with a smile. She lifted his jacket from the bed and hung it on her doorknob to dry. "How about some coffee?"
Without waiting for an answer she walked into the hallway leaving Troy in her wake.
In his haste to change clothes Troy had no opportunity to take in Gabriella's apartment when he first entered. In high school Troy spent his fair share of time in her bedroom, which was light, pastel, and very girly. Her apartment now was similar, but different. It still had obvious feminine touches - a bouquet of mixed flowers was sitting on a table by the door - but it was more refined, more…adult. The apartment itself was modest, Troy was pretty sure there were no other bedrooms besides Gabriella's and on the way to the kitchen they walked through the decent sized living room furnished with a dark wood coffee table sandwiched between a medium sized flat screen television and a cream colored upholstered sofa. The kitchen was clean, bright and small. On one wall there was a little open counter space with the fridge and oven pressed against it. Along the other side there was a large cut out that allowed the living room to be visible, and two tall cupboards on either side. On the third and final wall was a little table with two chairs and a window where Troy could see the glowing lights of the town below.
Gabriella gestured to the table, "Sit. I'll get the coffee started."
Troy sat down somewhat tentatively, unsure what would occur next. He looked down at the faux wood table where two plastic salt and pepper shakers that had clearly been stolen from a diner rested. Gabriella was bustling around the kitchen for the coffee grounds and filter. Troy heard cupboard doors shut and the faucet turn on to fill the coffee pot, but he remained stationary. Finally, Gabriella sat down in the second and only other chair and the gurgling of the coffee maker filled the otherwise silent room. Troy took a peek at Gabriella. Her hand held her chin as she gazed out the window, no visible tension in her body. Apparently, Gabriella found the fact that Troy, whom she hadn't seen since high school yet kissed less than an hour ago half frozen in the Atlantic, and was now sitting in her kitchen neither strange nor disconcerting. In fact, Troy thought Gabriella's body language seemed extraordinarily relaxed.
Gabriella closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, "I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee, don't you?"
Troy couldn't believe it. There were a million thoughts running through his head (what were they doing, why did she kiss him, and what was the point of all these "what was I to you" questions?) and all Gabriella wanted to talk about was coffee.
"I don't know," Troy started, "the smell kind of reminds me of continental breakfast at hotels."
Gabriella's eyebrows furrowed. "Me too. Is that not a good memory for you?"
Troy shrugged, "I guess it's a good memory, it reminds me of college basketball and traveling with the team."
"I see," said Gabriella in an understanding tone.
For most, the memory of a time where they were able to travel and play the sport they loved would be pleasant, if not thrilling. But it wasn't for Troy, and Gabriella must have understood that. The smell of coffee reminded Troy of basketball, which reminded Troy of his parents, and therefore his obligations. Despite Troy's acceptance of what his parents expected of him, deep down, maybe, even subconsciously Troy did not appreciate it.
The beeping of the coffee maker cut their conversation short and Gabriella went to retrieve mugs. Without bothering to ask, Gabriella returned with two mugs of black coffee. She handed Troy his but remained standing, choosing to instead lean against the counter tops on the adjacent wall.
"So, you're an investor now, huh?" Gabriella asked, though Troy thought he detected a hint of humor in her voice.
"Yeah, I guess I am."
"And that's what you really want to do? I mean, when you went to college is this what you planned on? Do you love it?"
Troy shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, "It's not really about if I love it or not, is it? I got my degree and this is what it's made for. I told you before, it's what my parents wanted and I make good money, so who am I to complain."
With a roll of her eyes Gabriella responded quickly, "You also said that you aren't happy. I think happiness is the most important goal in anyone's life." Troy tried to answer back but Gabriella kept going, "I know, I get where you're coming from, Troy, but I'm telling you – you'll be so much better off doing what you love instead of what is expected of you."
Troy looked up at Gabriella, standing there against the counters in her too-small kitchen. "What made you quit, Gabriella?"
"Quit listening to my mom's orders?" Gabriella clarified.
Troy nodded, "Yeah."
"I told you, I went to med school and after that I was tired. I wanted a break, so I took one."
"But why Gabriella? What made you stop doing what your mother wanted then? Why after med school instead of after your internship, or even after your bachelors."
Gabriella stilled; the way Troy would have if he knew a lie had caught up with him. She swallowed hard and finally sat down at the kitchen table across from Troy.
"When you asked about Charlie earlier today…I wasn't completely honest with you."
Troy's eyebrows rose high enough so that Gabriella couldn't see them underneath the mop of hair covering his forehead.
"He was more than a friend of my mom's. Charlie was my fiancée. We were engaged."
Despite the scalding hot coffee that had, until then, been warming Troy inside and out he suddenly felt ice cold all over again. Engaged? Gabriella? No, it couldn't be, it was unbelievable, it was ridiculous. Troy lost track of how many minutes passed before he managed to find his voice and could speak.
"How long?" He croaked.
Gabriella observed Troy, gauging his reaction apprehensively. "A while. He proposed a little less than a year ago."
"And when was the wedding expected to happen?"
"Two Saturdays from today."
Troy whistled, "Short engagement, huh?"
Gabriella gave him a bitter smile, "It's what Charlie and my mother wanted."
"That implies that you didn't…so what made you put your foot down?"
Gabriella sighed and once again turned to gaze out the kitchen window. "I'm not really sure what triggered it entirely, but when our wedding invitations arrived and I saw my name printed next to his in this block print black lettering, I knew. From age nine I knew that I had wanted a script, something flowy and Edwardian for my wedding invitations, and as trivial as it sounds I knew then, in that moment at his kitchen table looking down at those hideous invitations that I didn't want to be Mrs. Gabriella Murdock."
Troy snorted at Charlie's last name, though he tried to cover it up by lifting his coffee cup to his mouth to fake a drink.
"So I told him, right there, that the wedding was off. For the first time in years I did something for me, and just for me. It felt so good, I felt free, so I thought…why stop there. And then I left. I moved out, out of his house, out of LA and went to Maine. It's just about as far away from Southern California I could think of."
Troy tapped his fingers against the ceramic of his coffee mug and snuck a surreptitious glance at Gabriella's left hand gripping her own cup – no ring. Gabriella was once engaged. It wasn't unbelievable, it wasn't ridiculous: it was fact. Suddenly, there was a question Troy needed answered. "Charlie's from Los Angeles?"
Gabriella nodded her head still not looking at Troy, "Yep."
"Then what was he doing here?" Troy asked, a bit of dread lining his voice.
Gabriella smiled and finally turned to meet Troy's eyes. "I wasn't being completely dishonest when I told you he was keeping an eye on me. He wants me to come back to LA and resume our wedding plans."
Troy's face turned stony, "But you said it was off. You said no." He gestured to the missing ring on her fourth finger, "You gave him back the ring."
Gabriella smiled a knowing smile laced with frustration and a tone that clearly said 'you have no idea', "I did, however, he seems to think it's just cold feet."
"That's outrageous! Does your mom know he's here? How did she feel when you canceled the engagement?"
"She knows he's here, I think. How she feels, to be honest I haven't the faintest idea. I haven't spoken to her since I moved out here." Gabriella stood up to refill her mug and remained standing.
Troy's brows furrowed and he leaned over the table closer to her across the kitchen and began in a whisper, as though about to tell a precious secret, "Gabriella, why? That's so stupid. Regardless of what she has asked of you before, she's your mother, and no one can replace her."
Gabriella merely shrugged and stirred her new coffee with a finger.
"Gabriella you should talk to her! You need to talk to her! Maybe she doesn't know about that Charlie guy. Maybe she'll think it's ridiculous, too!"
As soon as Troy began to raise his voice Gabriella became defensive. "What does it matter to you, Troy!? I haven't seen or spoken to you in eight years and now you're giving me advice on maintaining my relationships!? That doesn't make sense, Troy. This is none of your business."
Troy wanted to argue Gabriella's reasoning and give his rebuttal, but instead he remained silent. He could hear her taking deep, shaky breaths as she leaned against the counter and waited until they became even again before he responded to her.
"When I said I wasn't happy before…it wasn't because I think my job isn't fulfilling, or because I'm angry at my parents for not giving me the choice to decide my own career." He took a large gulp of the black coffee Gabriella had poured him: it was cold now. "I've been unhappy for eight years."
Gabriella had been looking into the black depths of her own cup of coffee when Troy began speaking. "Oh?"
"Do you know what happened eight years ago, Gabriella?"
Troy watched Gabriella fidget uncomfortably as she attempted to sip some of her coffee. She moved away from Albuquerque eight years ago, away from him, that's what.
"We graduated high school?" She asked.
"Yeah," Troy said his voice tinged with anger, "That and you left." Troy paused and gave her a pointed stare from across the table. A pointed stare that began cold and hard and ended soft and sad. "Gabi, you didn't even say goodbye."
She pushed herself back against the counter and set her mug down quickly. She grumbled something under her breath ran both hands roughly through her hair. "Why should I have come to say goodbye? I told you before that what we had before didn't count. You said yourself that I was just another piece of the puzzle back then."
Troy set his mug on the table too hard by accident causing some coffee to slosh out onto his hands, he swore under his breath and hastily wiped it off on the basketball shorts Gabriella had given to him.
"I never said that Gabriella, you misunderstood. It was true, yes, that my dad approved of you. He saw what dating you could do to my reputation, but that's not what made me talk to you in homeroom, or sit with you at lunch when you were all alone. I did those things because I liked you," there was a pause where Troy caught her eye, "I never stopped liking you. So yeah, it does matter to me that you're not speaking to the only person who has been a constant in your life."
Gabriella stared out the window in silence and after a moment she began laughing. It was quiet at first and grew in a gradual crescendo until it was full blown hysteria. Finally, after a few minutes she was able to get her laughter calmed to an occasional giggle.
"Come on, Troy. If calling my mom matters so much to you that you lie, I'll do it." She giggled again and made her way to grab the phone from the living room.
"No, Gabi, you come on! I know! I know that despite this act you're putting up now, you liked me back then. You keep talking about what I could have gained from having you as a girlfriend in high school. About how you were just a tool I used to get things, but what did I do for you? What advantages did you gain from dating me? Nothing! I didn't make your school life easier, I ended up making it harder, more complicated."
At this Troy pushed his chair roughly back against the wall and quickly approached where she stood. He pressed his palms to the edge of the counter on either side of her narrow frame to cage her in, and then in whispers he spoke.
"But you said yes when I asked if I could sit with you at lunch on our first day of junior year, you said yes when I asked you out for the first time three weeks later, and you let me kiss you after showing me the kittens your cat Scooby had in the closet. Yet now, when I'm telling you with no other motive than the truth, that I like you, that I never stopped, you hesitate."
His eyes searched Gabriella's face, whose giggles had died completely the moment his arms touched the cool surface of her counter tops. She was looking up at him in a mix between astonishment and hope. "You remember Scooby?" Gabriella asked, her brows furrowed in disbelief.
Troy chuckled softly, "Of course I remember Scooby, Gabriella. She was your favorite." He moved in closer to Gabriella and let the tip of his nose gently drag across her forehead, down her bridge until it was resting squarely against the tip of her own.
Gabriella's eyes had fallen to their feet and she giggled in spite of herself, "She was."
One of Troy's hands left the counter and found Gabriella's cheek. He tipped her chin up to meet his eyes. Gabriella was spectacular, he decided. She did something to him, more than the typical 'x makes y a better person' cliché. Gabriella made him more daring, made him more true to the very core of his wants and desires. He felt it briefly in high school before she left, and now even with less than twenty-four hours in her proximity under his belt, he felt it again. Gabriella makes things happen to him, magic things. Things that make Troy stand up for what he believes in and for what he feels is right. Things that make Troy invite himself over to her house, or tell her that the Charlie situation is ridiculous. But most importantly, things that make him brave enough to tell her exactly what he's thinking. Right now.
"All today you've been telling me to let go, Gabi. You've been telling me that happiness is the most important. So now I'm going to. Right here, right now, I'm letting go and finding my happiness. I'm going to quit telling myself that hoping you and I can still be together is foolish. I'm going to quit telling myself not to try to look your number up on the white pages website. I'm throwing caution to the wind tonight, Gabriella. I'm going to tell you that I want a second chance at us."
In an almost instantaneous response Gabriella answered, "Okay."
"Okay, then," Troy said with a smile and bent down to capture her lips in his.
AN: Yay!! I hoped you liked it as much as I liked writing it. This is pretty much it though. I like the feeling of open interpretation and imagination for the reader. But, if my muse allows I might right a little epilogue if you guys are interested...let me know!
And because I am a totally asshole and forgot to mention it in the first chapter thank you so so so much to both my wonderful beta-readers. You guys are so amazingly helpful and I don't think its possible for me to say it enough. :) THANK YOU!!
