Sorry I had to miss last week.
Broke Back Volcano.
Gather 'round me people, there's a story I need tell-About two brave monsters no one remembers well.
Their names were Hitodah (A giant, mutant starfish) and Redmoon. (He's ugh…Look it up) Anyway, they came to Monster Island, looking for work. They approached the great king himself, in all of his glorious majesty. "So…Could we have have the jobs we want?"
Godzilla looked at them, reviewing their auditions. They sang danced, and gave raspbeery award wining performances.
"Well, we don't like you. And you seem a little…Gay for our tastes.We're going to have to ask you to leave."
"A little to gay?" Hitodah asked. "What do you mean?"
"Well, look at you. You're all flamboyant, and phaylic looking. How are you not gay?"
"Well, We're not. Even if we were, do you have something against gay people?"
"Dude, We're ultraconservatives."
"Oh. Well, then let's prove it to you. We'll go spend a night out on the volcano ."
And so they did. Godzilla lended them some camping gear, and they camped out on the rock face.
As the two were going to sleep, they kept muttering. "We ain't no gay people. Shit, I'mevjust thinking about it."
"Yeah. Hey, Hitodah, did anyone ever tell you about how buetiful yor eye looks in the moonlight? "
"No. Your sitting one of my Starfish legs man. Wait, that's my leg…"
"Its not? Then what is it, and what's that white stuff coming out of it. It looks tasty." RedMoon began to slurp it up.
"Wait a minute, dude that's not- Oh that feels so good." Soon, both Male monsters couldn't hold it back any longer. Let's just say, that night all the monsters were looking outside, as the volcano blew, and then began pumping out the liguid inside.
They next day, the two reported to Godzila's throne room. "were you two Queers hit by the explsion last night?"
"No sir. We used protection."
"Ah…Well, We haven't revied the tapes yet, but you don't seem to have done anything."
"Why no sir. Like I said yesterday, we're not gay, even though we're democrats."
"You realize I'm a rpublican, and that You're about to die?"
"Yes sir." And they left ina aplume of smoke."
Goddzila turned to Rodan, who was sitting next to him. "Did you get it?"
"Yeah."
The Godzilla gang went to Rodan's underground lab, where they analyzed the permone signatures that Rodan took. They concluded that the two monsters were in heat when standing next to one another. G the tapes, they knew the truth, and set up their elaborate plans.
Godzilla had the two monsters go a second night. But, come darkness, the Godzilla gang set up some stuff and waited. Finally, two monsters showed, and began to make WHOPPE! Then the three of them turned on several lights, exposing the wo monsters.
"Ah-ha! We caught you two- Wait you're not the same guys!" Indeed they weren't, It was GINO and the Cloverfield guy. "Tell you what, we'll deal with you later, we sters to bust. They moved on.
They found the other guys, and shined the lights on them. Hitodah and Redmoon looked up from their gayness. "Ah-ha! We found you two gaydars! Now you're gonna pay, you disgraces!"
"Okay, How much? Hitodah said, counting out some money.
Godzilla charged up his breath, and blew them apart.
I'll Be back next week!