Disclaimer: I do not own the characters they belong to the wonderful people of Lost Girl, Showcase, Prodigy, et al.
Bo looked out at her backyard and sighed. Tomorrow was the day and she didn't think she would be ready for it. Then again she didn't think she would ever be ready for it. Lauren was inside saying bye to the final guests that had attended her and Amy's bachelorette party. Amy had left a half hour ago because her mom had a night planned for the two of them so that woman wouldn't think too much about her wedding jitters. Bo hadn't been able to watch Lauren and Amy say goodbye to each other so she went to her bedroom and sat on the balcony that was attached to it. It was one of the many reasons why she had bought the place. Another reason was the location. It was thirty minutes outside of the city but the quiet was nice and she got to see the stars at night. Bo looked up and as a haze of cigarette smoke crossed her field of vision she was able to spot Jupiter. Bo didn't smoke frequently and when she did it was because she was stressed. But tonight she was smoking because she felt like a hopeless coward and was frustrated with herself.
Bo was putting out the cigarette in a planter that was next to the lounge chair that she was sitting when she heard Lauren in her room. "There you are." Bo turned her head so that she could look at the door. Lauren walked out onto the balcony and smiled at her. "Why are you hiding out?" The smile turned into a frown. "Are you smoking? Bo, I'm going to hurt you. I thought you quit."
Bo chuckled a little then remarked, "Have you been here the last six months? Dealing with you and planning your wedding has been a pain in the ass." Lauren kicked her shin, making Bo whimper a little, then she sat down in the spot that was between Bo's legs then she leaned back against her. Like always Bo wrapped her arm around her. She pointed to a bright burning star that was in the sky and said, "Jupiter's awfully close tonight."
Lauren nodded. "Yeah it's gotten to that point in the year where it's rotation is a bit closer." The two of them fell quiet and Bo picked up her glass off the small table that was next to the chair and took a long drink from it. She knew Lauren was deep in thought because she hadn't gone off on a rant about the planet's trajectory.
"Did you clean or is that why you came to find me?" Bo asked with small smile on her face.
Lauren chuckled a little then said, "I only came to find you because once I said bye to my cousins I realized that you had disappeared but yes we do need to clean." She sighed. "Tomorrow's the day."
"Less than twenty-four hours," Bo remarked even though she felt her heart waver at the fact that Lauren was closer to marrying Amy.
Lauren nodded then drew in a deep breath. Silence fell over them again and after several minutes Lauren chuckled then said, "You know for the longest time I thought that you and I were going to grow up and become these two old spinsters who lived together and pissed each other off all the time."
Bo smiled at the image that her brain came up with. She also thought they would have grown old together and would have lived together but the circumstances had been different in her fantasy. "Well of course we would have pissed each other off all the time. You get all bossy and I like to annoy you so I think it's for the best that you're marrying Amy." On some level Bo meant it but only for Lauren's sake.
Lauren pinched her thigh and she hissed in pain. "You could be nicer to me since I'm getting married in less than twenty-four hours. Also if you would just accept that I am right a majority of the time we would be fine."
Bo scoffed. "And ruin a perfectly good friendship? I don't think so."
Lauren chuckled then she got serious. "I really did think that was going to happen but then you found Ryan and I had found Amy but now I'm worried that you won't find anyone Bo."
Bo hadn't dated anyone since she dumped Ryan three years ago and it had taken her a week to tell Lauren about the break up because she didn't want her to blame him. The fault lied with her. After she had broken up with Ryan, Bo had accepted the fact that Lauren was the only person she was going to love and by the time she was ready to swallow her fear and tell Lauren that she loved her it had been too late. Lauren had been well on her way to falling in love with Amy. Bo swallowed hard then gave Lauren a gentle squeeze. "I'll be fine Lauren. Don't worry about me."
Lauren sat up and looked at her. In the low light that was coming from the lamp that was on in Bo's room she saw a small smile come to her face. "I know you will be Bo, but you deserve love too." She shook her head. "I feel like it isn't fair. After all you've been through I feel like the universe owes you one."
Bo looked into Lauren's eyes and she wanted to tell Lauren everything. Tell her how the universe had given her what she needed but she was too afraid to go after it and now it was too late. She swallowed to pushed down the lump in her throat then she smiled. "The universe gave me you and that's the one thing I'm most grateful for Lauren."
Lauren smiled at her then she chuckled. "I know you are and I'm grateful for you too but it's so-"
"Enough Lauren. Me and my lack of a love life shouldn't be a concern for you right now. All you should be worried about is getting down the aisle tomorrow without tripping over your feet and falling onto your face." The comment had the desired effect and Lauren scowled at Bo.
"I'm not going to trip over my feet." She sat back against Bo and the two of them fell silent again. A few minutes passed then Lauren said, "It's going to be weird being married."
Bo chuckled a little and asked, "Why?"
Lauren shrugged. "I don't know. It just is. I think it's the commitment aspect. Being with this one person for the rest of my life." She sighed. "It's huge."
Bo grinned then pointed out, "You and I have been friends for sixteen years. So it's not much different." She knew that Lauren's eyes were rolling.
Lauren sat up again and said, "Marrying Amy is a huge difference from my friendship with you. We've been through a lot together."
"And you will go through a lot with Amy. Fights, kids, buying a house," Bo pointed out then she sighed. "Then next thing you know you'll have been with her for fifteen years and couldn't imagine your life with anyone else. You'll be fine Lauren and I'll be here if you ever need to vent. Although if I am on a deserted island with an obscene amount of alcohol and attractive people I request that you not bother me."
Lauren chuckled and remarked, "Still dreaming about that island full of sex slaves and booze huh?"
Bo grinned and told, "And I will keep on dreaming about it until it becomes a reality. Even if I am ninety and close to death."
The two of them began to laugh then as Lauren caught her breath she asked, "If you die do I get the island?"
Bo smiled at her. "I guess but you'll have to take care of my many sex slaves."
"I'll be married," Lauren stated with grin.
"Then I guess you don't get the island," Bo told her with a laugh.
Lauren narrowed her eyes at her and said, "That's not fair."
Bo smirked. "Well I guess you didn't think this whole marrying Amy thing through then. Missing out on all my gorgeous sex slaves."
Lauren rolled her eyes. "Time to come back to reality Bo." Bo chuckled and Lauren sighed. "We should go back in and clean up from the party."
Bo nodded. "Yep." She didn't want to go back in and clean up. She wanted to stay out on the balcony with Lauren in the warm night air laughing about a fantasy island that would never come true. Soon it would all be different. Lauren wasn't going to be hers anymore. She would be Amy's. They would still be best friends but Amy would always come first. That thought alone brought Bo's melancholy state back in full swing. She got up from the lounger and said, "Let's get to it." Bo was heading into her room when she felt Lauren's arms wrap around her from behind. "What's the matter Lauren?"
Lauren let go of her and Bo turned around. The woman in front of her smiled. "Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to thank you. For always being there for me. Sticking up for me. Getting me through the crazy points of my life and bringing the love of my life into it." Bo heart ripped at that but somehow she was able to smile as Lauren continued. "I know that Amy is the love my life but you're my soul mate Bo and that's never going to change."
Accepting that that was all she was going to get from Lauren, Bo wrapped her arms around her and whispered, "I love you Lauren and I will always be here for you. No matter what." Bo held on tighter to Lauren and she closed her eyes so that she wouldn't start to cry.
"I love you too Bo and I know," Lauren said as she squeezed Bo just as tight. The two of them stood there a moment longer then Lauren moved away. "Okay we really need to go clean. Because soon it'll be one in the morning and I will have gotten little sleep then I'll look like shit on my wedding day."
Bo chuckled and asked, "So it will just be another day for you then?"
Lauren swatted her shoulder with the back of her hand then she shot back, "I may look like shit but at least I'm still better looking than you."
Bo laughed then commented, "Now look who's living in a delusional world?"
The two of them made their way back inside then headed to the living room. Even as they joked Bo's heart was hurting but at the same time she had Lauren in her life, and knowing that the woman was in her life at all was all it took to keep Bo from dwelling on the feelings that Lauren would never be able to return. After tomorrow they wouldn't matter anyway.
A Year Ago…..
Bo was drumming her fingers on the polished wood of the small table that she was sitting at. Lauren had called and asked if she wanted to meet for lunch. It wasn't one of their normal lunch days so Bo was nervous. She was nervous because Lauren and Amy had been dating for the last two years and had been living together for the last six months. Bo had expecting the worse for the longest time now. The further Lauren and Amy got into their relationship the more Bo realized that she was too late. She started to think that she should leave and go away. There was an opening at her company's Tokyo office and she was contemplating on taking it. She couldn't stay and watch as Lauren continued to build a life with Amy because at some point that was going to involve marriage and a family. Bo felt her stomach turn. There was no way she would be able to handle a wedding and since she was Lauren's best friend she was probably going to have to help plan it. If she had to do that then she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut. Bo didn't know what would happen at this point. Lauren loved Amy, but if she found out that Bo was in love with her as well would she still want to stay with her? Bo sighed. She took a drink from the glass of water that was sitting in front of her then continued to drum her fingers on the tabletop. Bo resigned to fact that she wouldn't be able to do that. Lauren's happiness was always a priority for her and Amy made her happy so wasn't going to do anything that ruined that. Bo ran her fingers through her hair and blew out a frustrated breath. She hoped that this was just a surprise lunch and that Lauren only wanted to hang out with her.
A few minutes later Lauren came walking into the restaurant and she rushed over to the table. As she sat down she said, "Sorry. I was on time then some asshole in a cheap suit decided to take my cab. You did right by moving out of the city. The place is annoying as hell."
The first thing Bo did as soon as she saw Lauren was check her left hand. She had been doing that a lot more here of late. She didn't want something like that to take her by surprise because if it did she most likely would suffer an emotional break and that was the last thing she wanted. She smiled at Lauren and remarked, "It's not that bad and I only moved to the middle of nowhere because I like the quiet and I can see the stars."
Lauren chuckled then commented, "I'm starting to think you're a secret astronomer."
"I could be. But if I am it's all your fault since we made a habit of going out to the baseball field at night," Bo said with a small smile on face. That had been at a more innocent time in their lives. She and Lauren laying in the baseball field talking about the stars, planets, and everything else two teenaged girls would talk about. It was something that they did until the both of them went off to college and when they came home from break they would go lay out in the baseball field at night. It was while they had been lying in the middle of the baseball field that Bo realized that she was in love with Lauren. She had been sixteen at the time and had no idea what to do with the feeling. In the end she had chosen the wrong thing and now Lauren was with someone else instead of her.
Lauren let out a small laugh. "But we had so much fun and I'm glad you bought that house though. When we're out there on your deck it does bring back those memories."
Bo grinned and told her, "Well that was an ulterior motive for me getting the house." The joke was a half-truth. She had gotten the house because it was nice and in a quiet location but also knowing that she would get a clear view of the night sky was another reason. Whenever she saw the stars she thought of Lauren. It was self inflicted torture but at the same time it gave her peace. She drew in a breath and asked, "So what's with the impromptu lunch? Which you're paying for by the way."
Lauren glared at her for a second then she began to chew on her bottom lip. All of Bo's nerves came rushing back as she watched the apprehensive look appear on the woman's face. The nerves that she had been feeling earlier had alleviated when Bo didn't see an engagement ring on Lauren's finger but now that they were back and her stomach was starting to churn. The woman was nervous about something but what she was nervous about Bo couldn't figure out. Maybe it was something to do with Amy. Then she thought it was probably about work and as Bo waited for Lauren to answer her question her mind raced with all the things that Lauren would want to talk about. "As we both know I've been dating Amy for quite some time now," Lauren started and Bo's heart began to race. Lauren wanted to talk about Amy. "And I think that she might be the one Bo. I mean she gets along great with you and you like her, which is a miracle since you hate everyone I date, and my parents like her so I was thinking that I was going to propose to her."
Bo wanted to vomit. No, she was going to vomit. Bo pressed her hand to her stomach. All this time she had been expecting Amy to propose to Lauren not the opposite. Lauren didn't seem like the type of person who would do such a thing but here she was proving her wrong, again. Bo sat in a stunned silence for the longest time and Lauren said, "You think it's a bad idea don't you?"
Bo fought hard to say anything but the shock of Lauren wanting to propose to Amy was making her brain stall. She let out a laugh, which came out as more of a forced breath, and she was certain it had been because she knew at some point that she had stopped breathing. "No, Lauren I uh-I didn't think you would be the one to propose to someone."
"I know," Lauren stated with a huge smile on her face. As she continued talking Bo took a sip of her water as she tried to get her brain functioning again but she couldn't. All she could think about was the fact that Lauren wanted to marry Amy. She definitely was going to be sick. She couldn't watch Lauren marry another woman. She bit the inside of her lip. But Lauren would want her there and if she wasn't then Lauren would be upset and disappointed. Bo wanted to run from the restaurant and away from the situation that she was currently in. Bo was finally able to comprehend what Lauren was saying a few seconds later. "….I love her and she makes me happy and she gets along with you which is definitely huge and, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with her." She paused for a moment then asked, "You don't think it's a bad idea or that I'm rushing into something?"
Bo took another sip of her water so that it would help her swallow the bitter pill that she was being forced to take. "I mean if you love her and you feel like it's the next thing you want to do in your relationship with Amy then I," her voice faltered. Bo cleared her throat. "I don't see why you shouldn't propose to her." Bo's heart was breaking. She knew she should say something. Let Lauren know that she had someone who loved her probably more than Amy did but then what would happen? Was Lauren going to believe her or was she going to think this was some ploy to get her away from Amy because she was the jealous best friend? She had painted herself into a corner with no way out. The only thing she could do was accept the consequences of her cowardice.
There was a permanent smile on Lauren's face and knowing that she wasn't the source for it only made Bo want to lock herself in her room so that she wouldn't have to see any of this. Lauren reached out and gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm so glad that you are on board with this. When I told my mom she thought that two years was too soon for us but I'll tell her that you think it's fine and maybe she'll shut up."
It hurt Bo to smile. "I'm certain she will." She had no idea where to take the conversation next. All Bo knew was that she wanted to get out of the restaurant and away from Lauren. She didn't want to cry in front of her.
Bo opened her mouth to tell Lauren that she needed to get back to the office but Lauren gasped then said, "Bo you have to help me with this engagement. I have no idea what to do and I'm certain I'll probably end up doing something that will result in me and Amy arguing or something."
Bo clenched her hands together under the table. She can't believe that this was happening to her. That Lauren was really asking her to help her with her proposal. She knew that Lauren could be unaware of other peoples' feelings sometimes but she had to of noticed that her best friend's heart was literally breaking in front of her. Then again she had no reason to think that. Lauren didn't know that Bo was deeply in love with her. Repressing the hurt that she was feeling Bo decided that she was going to do this. Help Lauren get the happiness that she deserved even if it wasn't with her. She smiled at Lauren. "I'll help you with you and your proposal. You might end up telling Amy she has a huge ass or something."
Lauren laughed then said, "You're probably right." She grinned. "You want to see the ring?"
Again, in a matter of ten minutes, Lauren had surprised the hell out of her. However this time it felt like a slap to the face. "You got the ring?"
Lauren turned in her chair then she began to dig around in the hand bag that was hanging off the back of her chair. When she turned back around there was a black ring box in her hand then she opened it and placed it on the table. As Bo stared at the ring which was a subtle one that didn't catch people's attention but if the wearer did decide to show it off those looking at it would be impressed. It was like the ring captured Amy's personality perfectly. She continued to stare at the ring and the world fell away as the reality of Lauren being engaged and eventually getting married hit her hard. Her vision became blurry and she hadn't realized that she had started crying until Lauren asked, "Bo what's the matter?"
Everything was the matter but now none of that mattered. Lauren was set on marrying Amy. Bo picked up the cloth napkin that was lying on the table then dabbed at her eyes before she said, "Nothing Lauren. There's nothing wrong." Another lie. Everything was wrong but she had no idea how to fix it without it messing everything up between her and Lauren. A tight smile came to her face."I can't believe you're actually going to do this."
Lauren picked up the ring and told her, "I can't believe it either. But I had seen it the other day and I was like this is Amy's engagement ring. And once I had that thought everything snowballed from there." She smiled. "It all sort of just clicked together." Lauren's eyes met Bo's. "She's the one Bo."
The false smile remained on Bo's face as she said, "I'm happy for you Lauren." And that was another lie but she knew that at some point she was going to find a place where she could be happy for Lauren. Be happy that she had found the love that she deserved with someone who was willing to go after her. Bo wasn't that person. She had been too afraid and too busy second guessing everything that she had talked herself out of going after the woman she loved. Seeing the happiness on Lauren's face told that she had two options: tell Lauren the truth or be the supportive friend that she had been for the last fifteen years. The former could ruin everything while the latter created her own personal hell. She took another drink of water then sighed before she asked, "Do you have any ideas on how you want to do it?" A grin came to Lauren's face and as the two of them started discussing ideas for how she was going to propose to Amy, Bo began to learn how to accept the inevitable.