Well, this time around I wanted try out a little bit longer and angstier story with actual connections to real life. Hmm, my inspiration was my dearest friend, who is my everything. I hope you do enjoy this one and feel that crushing feeling too so that in the end you can be set free. FEEL THIS. Hopefully you will share your thoughts about this one with me. I sound so depressing…haha.
Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.
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Pairing: Sasuke x Naruto
Summary: Pain, painkillers, loneliness and then that someone sat next to you. You did not want him there, but needed him to support you even if it hurt. Naruto, are you able trust Sasuke - trust that he will carry you no matter what? SasuNaru, M for SEX
Disclaimer: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).
I took them when I felt I could not carry on anymore and stopped when things were better…until things were reversed to hell again, I sigh. I want to start my life all over again, you know, like tabula rasa…I tell him and Sasuke looks me eyes fixed on mine. I little smile breaks on to his lips and he says "I know that you've been hurt before/ But don't you be afraid no more/ Throw off the chains that bind/ And leave the past behind/ When love comes knocking at your door/--/ You'll see a rainbow every day/ The sun will shine in every way/ Throw off the chains that bind /And leave the past behind/ No need to worry anymore/ When love comes knocking at your door". It is that old The Monkees song, I smile at him. I know, he smiles and gives a peck on my lips. You did knock, I murmur at him. I know that too, he says again and grins.
We have to get up or else we will be late, I say to Sasuke. Yeah, can I borrow your clothes, he asks and I tell him to get what he wants. You know, I will wait as long as you want, he says while changing and in my heart I so hope what he says is the truth. Do not think I am lying, since I know you do, he sighs and laughs a little. I am not here with you to just to satisfy my libido, trust me on that, he says and ruffles my hair. I smile at him but it does not lift the pressure from my chest wholly. I am stupid, I know. We walk to the university chatting and now the eyes are on both of us and hell, must they think I am a whore, since this is the second time I lend my clothes to someone and now that someone is a guy.
The girls swoon over Sasuke again and I try my best to ignore it. He looks a bit bothered by the girls' antics and it makes me smile somehow. Naruto, wait up, he shouts as I am already walking towards the lecture hall. He huffs because of running and I really have to keep my laughter at bay. That laughter dies on my lips when I see who is standing beside the lecture hall door. I have seen her photos so I know she is Sasuke's girlfriend or was, I do not know. I do not even know what my part in this is and somehow I can totally taste the betrayal in my mouth. I am a home wrecker.
She smiles faintly at Sasuke and Sasuke, well, he looks a bit dumbfounded and surprised. Sakura, what are you doing here, he asks voice hollow as a tree trunk. I wanted to make things better again, she says and as much as I want, I cannot sense any dark or gloomy aura around her. This Sakura is sincerely trying to make everything better like I am. We just happened to pass and find the same person. He said they were over, but this does not look like "over" to me. She walks to us, hugs Sasuke and whispers that she missed him. Her fragrance fills the air and I feel like an outsider. She lets Sasuke go but not before she kisses him with her luscious lips. Shit, my chest clenches again. I do not want to see this and hell, I do not want to feel like this.
Sasuke, I am pregnant for you, she blurts out and my knees feel suddenly so weak. Does she not see me? I heard that one right from her pinkish lips. I turn around and leave for the bathroom and fuck, I vomit everything I have in my stomach and more. It just does not end this torture of mine and finally I end up throwing up blood when there is nothing else to offer to the toilet bowl. My hands shake, my shirt is bloody and legs mushy. I have to gather myself, I need to get up and leave. NOW. Nothing happens. Do not cry, do not fucking cry!!! I yell at myself, but the tears still come and burn my eyes, burn my cheeks. I curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor and stay there, I just hope this shivering ends.
The door gets ripped open and Sasuke stands by the door. His face is sweaty, he must have run here. Naruto, his voice sounds like an echo. He rushes to my side and pulls my head on to his lap. Do not do this, please, please, he cries and I smile faintly saying that everything is alright. Then I pass out. I wake up in a hospital room and I recognize the smell. Shit, it is Dr. Amelia. Hello, Naruto, she says with her uptight voice. Someone is waiting for you in the hallway, she says and leaves the room. God, I hate her.
Sasuke steps into the room looking tired and miserable. He takes a chair and comes to sit next to my bed. So, you are going to be one happy family, I blurt out even though I do not mean to sound so angry. I do not know, he sighs and covers his face with his hands. I do not know anything anymore, he continues. I know that this cannot go on like this, I know that for sure, I say back at him, but he does not answer. Maybe love is supposed to kill before it can heal…I whisper sadly.
Thank you for being there when I needed you the most, I am not afraid anymore…not so much at least, I smile stupidly. So, you go and take your life back…we were something that happen from time to time at university, let us call it curiosity, I say to him even though the words burn my throat. He looks at me with red and puffy eyes and merely nods. This is a goodbye, I know it. He stands up and leaves the room but his fragrance never does.
When I get out of the hospital, Dr. Amelia hands me lots of pills in plastic bottles. Do not play hero, she says and I am on my own again. I smile at her and take my leave. When I find the nearest dumpster I throw that paper bag full of those purple things into it. Then I go home confidently; I need fresh air, fresh people and freshness in its every form. As I step inside I decide to leave this place. I pack my things and everything I do not need I leave behind. Maybe I come back someday to meet Sasuke's kid…maybe he will look just like Sasuke.
Everything happened so fast that my mind has hard time keeping track of everything. Yesterday, today…maybe they were all signs for me to change this; tools for my reincarnation. Maybe. I sit on the train station not really knowing where to go, since there is no place for me. Every time I get reassurance that everything is alright, it will be fucked up as soon as possible. The story of my life. So maybe I should just take the first train from here and hope it will not explode or something like that. Although now it does not seem such a bad option either.
Could she not just have said it a little bit sooner so that I would not have had fallen in love with Sasuke? So I would not feel like shit right now and would not have to fight the urge to peel my skin off. I remember the guy who took LSD, our dear "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and then got hallucinations. The guy thought he was an orange and peeled his skin off. I do feel like that orange and I am not high nor under medication. The latter I should be, but then again, who actually cares. I do, a voice says next to me huffing. I know yet again that I did not say it out loud. I know what you are thinking, the voice continues and the familiar scent fills my nostrils. Why is daddy hanging out with the lowlife here, I ask sarcastically. I cannot be the father, Sasuke says with stern voice. Oh, did I hear her wrong, I say mockingly. You moron, when you are not under the meds you tongue is fucking sharp, he sighs. Meet the real thing, I murmur.
I am not that dumb in maths that I cannot count…I have not seen Sakura for over a year now, so that means she has actually cheated on me, he groans. Well, you are no better fondling me, I grunt back. That is a whole different thing, he huffs. Suuureee, I say and close my eyes. I so would like to beat you up now, you know that…he sighs again but with a grin I can sense even though I do not see it. As I was saying, I am willing to wait for you, so do not run away like you always do, he continues. Easy for you to say…when your mind gets into that state in which it rapes you inside your head, please remember to say to that demon a hi from me, I grunt and stand up. The train stops and the door opens slowly. Just as I am about to leave, Sasuke grabs my sleeve and pulls me into an embrace. Introduce me to that demon inside you and I will make sure I crack his arse in half, he mumbles in my hair.
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